Part Two
Yard Lady motioned for the other Robot Rejects to be silent as they crept up to the mayor's office. Sure, Dr. Wily had taken over City Hall, holding the mayor hostage, but there wasn't much to worry about. If Mega Man had done one thing right during his tenure as the city of Monstropolis's protector, he'd proven that as evil geniuses went, Dr. Wily was about as competent as Heat Man was at making mayonnaise (a city-wide disaster occured during the ultra-hot robot's infamous first attempt, one which was best forgotten. Some cleaning units were still finding congealed mayo in certain alleys and deserted subway stations).
Suffice it to say, Yard Lady had no qualms about taking the doctor on. She may not have had Mega Man's Arm Cannon or his ability to mimic other robot's powers, but she did have half a dozen other robots with her, which was almost as good (better, she might have said, if those aforementioned robots weren't the Robot Rejects). Of all of her companions, only Proto Man and Star Man were battle-tested, and both of them had proved themselves less than adequate in their clashes with the Blue Bomber.
This lack of combat experience had, as she might have expected, led to some reluctance on the Rejects' parts to take on their evil creator (except in the case of Proto Man and herself), but after cajoling them for several minutes, Yard Lady had finally convinced them that if nothing else, they would be able to steal some glory from Mega Man by showing that someone else was actually capable of taking on Wily and prevailing.
Yard Lady herself had never been in combat, except for the drunken barroom kind. Still, the city would have no choice but to give the Rejects government funding if they, as a group, saved the mayor from Wily's clutches. "Door Man!" she whispered sharply, signaling for the door-shaped 000 Series robot to come forward. "I'm going to open the door," she explained. "I want you to go in and block off the open door, so it looks like nothing's happened."
"Okay," said Door Man agreeably.
Yard Lady silently opened the door, and as Door Man used his own door-shaped body as a concealing shield, she heard Dr. Wily's voice as he spoke to the mayor, who was tied to his desk chair.
"...and seein' as how all I wants is complete and total control of the globe," Wily said in his thick Bronx accent, "I must admit I have more than a bit a' ', as you might say, why others seemed so opposed to said situation."
"Whatever you say, Dr. Wily," said the mayor in an exasperated tone, as if he had been listening to the evil roboticist drone on for hours, which he may have been.
Meanwhile, Yard Lady and the Robot Rejects were sneaking up, ever so slowly, on Wily. Door Man took another step forward every few seconds, so as not to be noticed by the room's occupants. Through Door Man's mail slot, she got her first peek at Thunder Man. Dr. Wily's latest robot creation was perhaps the most streamlined of his efforts to date. He was shaped like a man, for all intents and purposes, although he appeared to be in a skin-tight body suit. His entire body was colored an electric blue, and the only parts of his face not covered by his electric blue mask were his large eyes. He had a hand placed protectively on the mayor's shoulder. Though, now that Yard Lady thought about it, Thunder Man's hand was likely a weapon, which would mean it was placed threateningly on the mayor rather than otherwise.
Wily was continuing what was, for all intents and purposes, a monologue. "...so's I thought to myself, how could I do dis? Then, it came to me. A really primo way for me to take over the city, and what have you, would be to hold the esteemed mayoral personage, by which I mean yourself, hostage, and threaten to do bodily-type harm to youse unless control of Montropolis is turned over into my very own hands. Or, at least, until I am given a surreptitiously large amount of cash."
God, Wily was a windbag! Yard Lady had only met the doctor on one previous occasion, right after Wily's fourth escape from prison, but even at that time, he (for she had still been Yard Man then) was amazed at how much the dastardly doctor like the sound of his own voice.
"You're such a genius, Dr. Wily," said Thunder Man randomly.
"Natch," said Wily, and he proceeded to explain his robot's assertion at length.
Groaning inwardly, Yard Lady continued sneaking up behind Door Man, who was still inching forward. Evidently, none of the room's occupants had yet noticed that the office door was not only the wrong color, but was now growing slowly larger and closer. Feeling a tug on her ankle, she turned around. Star Man, still dressed in his white disco suit and mauve shirt, looked at her and mouthed something.
"What?" she whispered.
"Nice shoes," Star Man mouthed plainly.
Yard Lady flipped off the fabulously-dressed Robot Master and returned to her task. Door Man shuddered a little a little as she re-opened his mail slot. Wondering why that was, Yard Lady peered through again at Dr. Wily, Thunder Man, and their momentary hostage.
"...so as you can plainly see," Dr. Wily was finishing, "it don't make no sense, from a profit-type standpoint, to create Robot Masters which have the F-63 logic circuits installed within their skulls. Dis, however, can have whatcha call 'drawbacks' when it involves certain motor skills, includin' the canning procedures. Dat was what happened wit' Heat Man and his homemade mayo..."
Yard Lady turned to her compatriots. "All right," she said softly, so as not to alert Dr. Wily to her presence, "who's up? Somebody's gotta fight Thunder Man."
The Robot Rejects looked at one another, none wanting to be the first to volunteer.
"How about you, Star Man? You've got that great weapon...um, err, what was it, again?"
Star Man shrugged, at least, as much as someone lying on the floor would be able to. "Hell, I don't remember."
"Shit." Yard Lady turned her attention to Proto Man. "How about you?"
Proto Man gulped a bit. "Well, I guess I can, but it's been a while since I've been in a fight." He charged up his Arm Cannon and stood up.
Yard Lady did so as well, and the two led the Robot Rejects through Door Man's door. Dr. Wily, Thunder Man, and the mayor of Montropolis all stared at the newcomers, although Yard Lady thought they might have already guessed at their presence, since Door Man was now only four or five feet away from them. Both sides were so caught up in staring at the other that none of the room's occupants noticed the flashing red light on the security camera above them.
"Here's Jim with the latest footage from the crisis in City Hall," said the newsreader on television. "Jim?"
"Thanks, Margie," said another newscaster, voicing over black-and-white security footage. "As you can see, the renowned evil scientist Dr. Wily is having his latest mechanical monstrosity, Thunder Man, hold the mayor hostage. This latest video shows some new robots coming to assist the evil doctor as well, including the notorious Break Man. I don't seem to recognize any of the other robots, or the woman standing with them, but we'll keep you up-to-date on the latest..."
"This looks bad, Mega Man," said Roll, sitting next to her brother on the sofa.
"Oh, man," said Mega Man, leaping up from the couch. "Looks like I'd better head on down there and see if I can do anything to help."
"That looks like Yard Lady!" Roll said.
"Yeah," Mega Man agreed. "What is she doing there?" He put on his helmet and re-attached his Arm Cannon. Luckily, Mega Man had taken to always wearing his armor in case of a robot attack. He darted out Dr. Light's front door, calling for Rush to change into his jet form.
Roll sighed in admiration. Her brother was the greatest guy on the face of the planet.
"Yard Lady!" Dr. Wily said, a pleased look on his face. "What a pleasure it is to finally meet youse! Now hold still for a second whilst I re-program your every whim and desire." He reached both hands out towards her, approachingly threateningly.
"Hands off, buster!" Over the last few weeks, Yard Lady had gotten in plenty of practice fending off men's hands that were directed toward her chest area. This enabled her to stop Doctor Wily's evil scheme, whatever it might have been, before he even had a chance to touch her. She pried apart his grasping hands, not sure if, in fact, Wily was actually going for her programming chamber of for a...more interesting part of her anatomy.
"Here is what's going to happen," she said matter-of-factly, shoving the mad scientist backwards. "First, you are not ever going to try to touch me again. Got it?" Wily nodded. "Next, your little shock-boy---and on a personal note, may I say that I think you're showing a remarkable lack of originality when it comes to your latest robot designs? Elec Man, Spark Man, Thunder Man---is going to face Proto Man in the fight of his life. Then, when Thunder Pants loses, we're going to kick your sorry ass from here to next week."
"Proto Man?" said Dr. Wily incredulously. "He couldn't win a fight against a kitten!"
Seeing such disdain given him by the man who had activated him, Proto Man started sniffing, then sobbing, then he collapsed to the floor and crawled into a ball. "Dammit," Yard Lady said, watching the first of the 000 Series crying helplessly without abandon. "We don't have time for this!"
"Ahem," Dr. Wily coughed.
"Okay, okay," Yard Lady said, "I guess we give up. You win, Doc."
"What?" several of the Robot Rejects said at staggered intervals.
"Yeah," Yard Lady said, winking at the Rejects so that Wily could not see. "We give up. Sprinkler Man, get over there and shake Doc's hand." She grabbed Sprinkler Man by his wiry metal arm and thrust the watering robot in between Dr. Wily and Thunder Man. "Sprinkler Man is going to be the first of us to swear loyalty to you, oh Mighty One. Shake hands with him, Sprinkler Man."
Sprinkler Man, who clearly had no intention of going back over to Wily's side, but was too confused to do anything else, obeyed Yard Lady's orders. He held out his arm to his creator, who offered his hand in return.
Meanwhile, Yard Lady was putting the second part of her plan into action. Turning away from the scene, she unbuttoned her shirt, then unooked her brassiere, which, fortunately, was a front-hooking model. Then, she turned around, exposing herself to all four of the men in front of her: Sprinkler Man, Thunder Man, Dr. Wily, and the mayor.
Sprinkler Man's head jerked involuntarily to the side, then water started shooting out of the spigots in his body spasmodically, showering both Dr. Wily and Thunder Man with water. As Yard Lady had expected, Thunder Man shorted out, the electrical energy sizzling across the water, enveloping both Sprinkler Man and Dr. Wily with its energy. After a few loud zaps and bursts of bright light later, the two robots and one man each toppled backwards to the ground, shocked but strangely satisfied looks on their faces.
"Well," Yard Lady said, somewhat satisfied herself, as she turned back to the Robot Rejects, "I guess I showed Flash Man up a little there, didn't I?" She buttoned up her blouse, tucking it back into her navy blue skirt. None of the Rejects were responding to her joke. "Get it, guys? Flash Man? Heh." By the stunned looks on the Robot Rejects' faces, Yard Lady guessed that they must have caught a glimpse of her perfectly-molded breasts as well. "Jesus," she said with disdain, "you all are acting like a bunch of teenagers. Snap out of it!" Even Star Man seemed a bit overwhelmed, much to Yard Lady's surprise. "What's up with you, Starfish? I thought you were a fa---"
The sound of breaking glass brought all of their attentions upward. A blue blur jumped through the pane of glass, shattering it. He landed on his large-booted feet, shifting his weapon around at random angles. "All right, hands up, Doctor---" He looked around and blinked. Then, he saw the collapsed figures on the floor. "What happened?"
"We took care of the situation," Yard Lady said smugly, grinning at the scorched, inert bodies on the floor. "Guess you showed up a little late this time, huh?"
"Yeah, whatever," said Mega Man, untying the mayor and helping him out of the chair.
"Oh, Mega Man," the mayor said, "thank heavens you arrived in time!" It might have been her imagination, but Yard Lady suspected she caught the mayor trying to see through her shirt, still somewhat impacted by her earlier "exposure."
"That's my job," Mega Man replied. "Oh, hey Proto Man, what's up? Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?"
Proto Man looked like he might go back into the fetal position any moment now.
Yard Lady growled. "What do you bet he hogs all the credit on this one?" she asked Door Man.
"Well, you never know," Door Man said.
"Are you...blushing?"
"Well," he said hesitantly, "You did, um...spend a lot of time around my...er, mail slot...'
"For Christ's sake!" Yard Lady expostulated. She saw Mega Man and the mayor go out to meet the press. "Uuuh!" she groaned angrily. "All right, let's get out of here."
"What do we do now?" asked Star Man.
"If nothing else, we've gotta go kick Bubble Man's ass from here to China," said Yard Lady, leading the Robot Rejects out of the mayor's office. The press conveniently ignored them. "Calling himself a 'Robot Reject.' What a load of bullshit."
"Yeah," said Proto Man, sniffing a little as he followed the rest of them. "I started the Robot Rejects! If he doesn't relinquish the name I'll have to...I'll have to..."
"Cry?" suggested Star Man.
"No," Proto Man growled, his face hardening. "I'll have to rip out his chest-pump, shove it down his mouth, and then tear that off and shove it so far up his ass he won't be using any of the aforementioned items...um, for quite some time."
Despite the lame finish, Yard Lady was proud at the initiative the Robot Rejects' leader had shown. "It's a start," she said.