Mark stood at her shoulder, holding her hand and desperately wanting to say he loved her.

But he wouldn't because it sounded like goodbye and he couldn't lose her. Not after all they'd been through. Not like this.

"Okay, Susan, push when I say so." Coburn instructed.

Susan nodded then looked back to Mark and smiled to reassure him.

He kissed her, "Come on, you can do this."

"Push."

She gritted her teeth and pushed, "We can do this." She corrected him.

Mark looked to Coburn, trying to get a prognosis from her professionally opaque expression.

"And again." Coburn called.

Susan pushed hard, trying to ignore the dull and bizarre sensation, knowing the epidural made her effectively ignorant of what her body was doing from the waist down.

"That's right, just one more."

Mark finally smiled.

"And one more."

"How many times do I have to push just once more?" Susan asked, baring down until she heard the tell-tale cry of a newborn child.

"That's it." Coburn smiled, pegging the umbilical cord expertly.

Susan lay back exhausted as Mark stood, trying to see the baby a Haleh had was wrapping in sterilized cloths.

"Can I?" he asked impatiently.

Haleh grinned and walked to him, wordlessly placing the tiny child in his arms.

He wouldn't have heard her, had she spoken, his heart was beating so fast, so loud, as something like awe welled up in his chest, in the back of his throat, behind his eyes. His mouth hung open, sure there was something to say but without the first clue what that might be.

Susan grinned, watching him, "My turn?"

She sat up as he placed the boy at her chest. He didn't actually let go – one arm remained under Susan's, holding their son, and his other arm, with a minor detour to rid the tears from his cheeks, slid around Susan's shoulders. S

he was laughing silently, her eyes lingering over the tiny lips, big brown eyes, pudgy shoulders and cheeks… He was perfect.

Mark kissed her cheek, flooded with relief as the tears just kept coming. Everyone was watching and he didn't much mind, but he buried his face in her shoulder, wanting to disappear into a world with only the three of them.

"Have you got a name?" Carter asked, blinking back his own tears proudly.

Susan looked at Mark, and laughed, wiping the tears from his cheek, her voice almost failing, "Matthew?"

Mark nodded and kissed her properly, or a bit longer than proper.

Carter laughed, "Yeah, okay, we'll leave you alone."

Coburn was the last to leave, "I'll sign your chart then we'll take you up."

They effectively ignored her.

"God, he's beautiful." Mark whispered in the silence, trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah." She ran her fingertips down Matthew's cheek, "Hi."

Mark laughed, watching his face, his alert eyes flitting across their faces. "That wasn't so hard." He ran his hand up her back adoringly.

"Speak for yourself."

"You scared me for a minute."

"I know." She turned to him, holding his eyes and taking a deep breath. "I love you."

He just looked at her, awestruck. Then at Matthew. "Wow." He breathed.