A/N: There's just going to be a lot of scenes that are in here solely for
the purpose of introducing some characters in this story. Personally, I
think this chapter's not that interesting, so... enjoy.
I lied on bed and stared at the ceiling. I heard my mom yelling about something into the phone. I didn't know what. I didn't care. I turned around to try to get myself comfortable on the bed. But I couldn't. No matter what I did, I couldn't feel comfortable. I started to feel scared all of a sudden. This was happening constantly now. My chest would tighten up, and I would cry. I didn't make a sound. I kept staring at the ceiling, taking in deep breathes as my tears rolled down. I closed my eyes tight, waiting for sleep to take me. But it never came.
I took a seat a looked around the auditorium. Just a few more minutes until school is going to start. I scanned the room for a familiar face. Chelsea was with her usual groupie. She was talking and laughing with Mandy and Chloe. That I would never be able to do again. Laughing so casually, knowing that I haven't done anything wrong. I felt my chest tighten up again, and I bit my lip to try to stop my tears. I stared down at the floor for a few seconds, taking deep breathes. I looked up to the stage, where some kids where sitting on the edge and playing their game- boys. David was sitting on the edge too, looking over some kid's shoulder.
I got up with weak knees and started to walk over to David. When I was a few steps away from him, I stopped and looked at him. He looked so carefree, so normal. How could he do it?
Suddenly, as if he sensed my presence, he looked up to me. He smiled and patted the kid's shoulder and jumped off the stage and started towards me. As he came closer, I began to realize that I didn't know him. I didn't know him at all. He wasn't the guy that I knew. He isn't the one that I loved.
He stopped an arms-length away from me. I opened my mouth and tried to talk, but no words could come out. I felt light-headed, weak, and vulnerable. Tears started to stream down my face. He stepped forward and embraced me. I tried to resist, but I couldn't. I cried my eyes out. Some people were staring but I didn't care.
"It's alright." Those were the words that he muttered before he let go of me and left. I wiped my eyes with my wrist and started for the bathroom. The bell was going to ring any minute, but I didn't care. I needed some time alone.
"So, what was the whole auditorium thing about?" I looked to my left and saw Eric. He settled down on the seat next to me. It was lunchtime, and I chose to sit alone in the corner. However, Eric just loves to stick his nose into other people's business, doesn't he? Maybe that's why he's such a nice guy.
I took a strand of my hair and started to twirl it around my finger. "Nothing. Just something personal." I put the strand of hair behind my ear and stared at his tray. "Cheeseburger... didn't they serve this three days in a row?"
Eric took his fork out of the bag and poked at the burger. "Yeah... I think you're right. This might be the cheeseburger that I chose not to eat three days ago." He looked at the milk carton's expiration date. "And this is the carton of milk I refused to drink... 10 days ago." He took the tray and threw it into the trashcan next to him. "Don't you just love school lunch?"
I started to walk home, and felt someone following me. I turned a corner into an alleyway and waited for the person to follow. It was David. I didn't know what to feel, what to say. I just stared at him staring at me.
He cleared his throat. "Can I come over to your place for a while? I want to talk to you." I continued to stare at him and he started to look at the walls. I looked down and started to walk towards home again. He followed closely behind me. The rest of the trip was a silent one.
When I got back home, I plopped down onto the chair and watched him close the door. After he was done, he took off his book-bag and held the straps in his hands, dragging it with him as he walked towards me. He knelt down on one knee and stared into my eyes. I looked away.
"You know, you're too tensed about this whole thing." I immediately looked into his eyes.
"What?" I whispered.
"I said – "
"I know what you said. What do you mean I'm taking this thing too tense?" I shot straight up from the chair. "You killed a person you idiot!" I pushed him away and started for the kitchen, busying myself with last night's dishes.
"My point exactly!" He grabbed my arm and forced me around to face him. I stared into his face and he stared into mine. "I killed Shannon. I admit it. I didn't do it by accident. I didn't regret it then, and I don't regret it now." He let go of my arm. I didn't know what to do. "It isn't your fault that I killed her. So why are you worrying? That bitch deserved to die, I killed her, and you can tell. I don't care! She deserved it!" I started to cry again. "What the hell are you crying for?" He yelled. "I'm telling you, if you feel guilty about all this shit, you can just go ahead and tell. I already know what could happen when I killed her. I'm prepared. I don't want to see you like this!" He turned around and started for the door. He put his hand on the doorknob, and I just stood there behind him. I wanted to say sorry, thank you, and so much more.
But I didn't. I never did. I wanted to lead a normal life again. I know what I would have to give up for that. I might not be ready to give him up, but I want to. I had to.
I lied on bed and stared at the ceiling. I heard my mom yelling about something into the phone. I didn't know what. I didn't care. I turned around to try to get myself comfortable on the bed. But I couldn't. No matter what I did, I couldn't feel comfortable. I started to feel scared all of a sudden. This was happening constantly now. My chest would tighten up, and I would cry. I didn't make a sound. I kept staring at the ceiling, taking in deep breathes as my tears rolled down. I closed my eyes tight, waiting for sleep to take me. But it never came.
I took a seat a looked around the auditorium. Just a few more minutes until school is going to start. I scanned the room for a familiar face. Chelsea was with her usual groupie. She was talking and laughing with Mandy and Chloe. That I would never be able to do again. Laughing so casually, knowing that I haven't done anything wrong. I felt my chest tighten up again, and I bit my lip to try to stop my tears. I stared down at the floor for a few seconds, taking deep breathes. I looked up to the stage, where some kids where sitting on the edge and playing their game- boys. David was sitting on the edge too, looking over some kid's shoulder.
I got up with weak knees and started to walk over to David. When I was a few steps away from him, I stopped and looked at him. He looked so carefree, so normal. How could he do it?
Suddenly, as if he sensed my presence, he looked up to me. He smiled and patted the kid's shoulder and jumped off the stage and started towards me. As he came closer, I began to realize that I didn't know him. I didn't know him at all. He wasn't the guy that I knew. He isn't the one that I loved.
He stopped an arms-length away from me. I opened my mouth and tried to talk, but no words could come out. I felt light-headed, weak, and vulnerable. Tears started to stream down my face. He stepped forward and embraced me. I tried to resist, but I couldn't. I cried my eyes out. Some people were staring but I didn't care.
"It's alright." Those were the words that he muttered before he let go of me and left. I wiped my eyes with my wrist and started for the bathroom. The bell was going to ring any minute, but I didn't care. I needed some time alone.
"So, what was the whole auditorium thing about?" I looked to my left and saw Eric. He settled down on the seat next to me. It was lunchtime, and I chose to sit alone in the corner. However, Eric just loves to stick his nose into other people's business, doesn't he? Maybe that's why he's such a nice guy.
I took a strand of my hair and started to twirl it around my finger. "Nothing. Just something personal." I put the strand of hair behind my ear and stared at his tray. "Cheeseburger... didn't they serve this three days in a row?"
Eric took his fork out of the bag and poked at the burger. "Yeah... I think you're right. This might be the cheeseburger that I chose not to eat three days ago." He looked at the milk carton's expiration date. "And this is the carton of milk I refused to drink... 10 days ago." He took the tray and threw it into the trashcan next to him. "Don't you just love school lunch?"
I started to walk home, and felt someone following me. I turned a corner into an alleyway and waited for the person to follow. It was David. I didn't know what to feel, what to say. I just stared at him staring at me.
He cleared his throat. "Can I come over to your place for a while? I want to talk to you." I continued to stare at him and he started to look at the walls. I looked down and started to walk towards home again. He followed closely behind me. The rest of the trip was a silent one.
When I got back home, I plopped down onto the chair and watched him close the door. After he was done, he took off his book-bag and held the straps in his hands, dragging it with him as he walked towards me. He knelt down on one knee and stared into my eyes. I looked away.
"You know, you're too tensed about this whole thing." I immediately looked into his eyes.
"What?" I whispered.
"I said – "
"I know what you said. What do you mean I'm taking this thing too tense?" I shot straight up from the chair. "You killed a person you idiot!" I pushed him away and started for the kitchen, busying myself with last night's dishes.
"My point exactly!" He grabbed my arm and forced me around to face him. I stared into his face and he stared into mine. "I killed Shannon. I admit it. I didn't do it by accident. I didn't regret it then, and I don't regret it now." He let go of my arm. I didn't know what to do. "It isn't your fault that I killed her. So why are you worrying? That bitch deserved to die, I killed her, and you can tell. I don't care! She deserved it!" I started to cry again. "What the hell are you crying for?" He yelled. "I'm telling you, if you feel guilty about all this shit, you can just go ahead and tell. I already know what could happen when I killed her. I'm prepared. I don't want to see you like this!" He turned around and started for the door. He put his hand on the doorknob, and I just stood there behind him. I wanted to say sorry, thank you, and so much more.
But I didn't. I never did. I wanted to lead a normal life again. I know what I would have to give up for that. I might not be ready to give him up, but I want to. I had to.