I'll wait for you
C.S.: I am seriously warped today; maybe I should add some citrus just to see how corrupted I became in the last two hours of reading lemon stories. Those things are cool, but...really extremely graphic. Yeah. I'm a music freak, so most of my fanfics that I'll write probably will be music fics I think.
Oh yeah, um, yaoi, meaning Shuichi and Yuki and a little graphic. Not too much, because my mind is still a little innocent, though images go beyond words.
Disclaimer: I just started writing this, what-this month? And the original manga has been out, how long again? This should tell you something about me being the owner * hint hint * I didn't create it. So it's not mine. 'Black Black Heart' is 'David Usher', who has no relation with Egghead 'Usher'. No offense towards his fans.
David Usher has some cool songs, and this one I was thinking about using for the first chapter, but then it really would have been a one-shot, and I had doubts. So I'll use it in this fic.
::Shuichi thoughts::
//creepy voice in Shuichi's head//
To: Black Dios: I attempted a 'Dark Shuichi', but probably not the type of dark you were talking about. He has voices in his head though, so that should be close, right?
Woki81: . . .Well, this wasn't really supposed to be a happy fic to begin with, but I tried. I think, sorry!!
Acolyte Avien: I really, really did try, but I suck at romances!!
Crimson Devil (blood cousin!): Like above, I tried, but I'm not all happy endings, so you might hate me or you might just dislike me, but I tried!
I tried making it to your guys' wishes, a dark Shuichi, a Shuichi and Yuki, and an option to continue this thing at all. Thank you and I'm sorry if it sucks!
Oh yeah, a little bit more detailed, but I might change it sometime.
~+~
Chapter 2- Sex and Diamonds
~+~
Something ugly this way comes
Through my fingers sliding inside
All these blessings all these words
I'm godless underneath your cover
~+~
Shuichi stood on the familiar front porch, the light shining dimly down upon him, enveloping him in a hazy white light. He was dressed in leather black, the material clenching to his skin and emphasizing all his curves on his small frame. His pink hair had slightly darkened, making it almost seem a purplish magenta.
Yuki opened the door and stood silently looking at him, a look of lust appearing in his eyes. He imagined tearing off each scrap of the cloth with his teeth, holding him down underneath him and tracing each part of him with his long fingers.
Shuichi smiled a little cautiously, wondering if it really had been a good idea to wear this new set they would be wearing for their next concert probably. "Hi," he managed, swallowing a lump in his throat. He had wanted to embrace Yuki like he had so many times before now. But he held his ground.
Yuki stood still a moment longer, then grabbed him by the arm, pulled him into his house and slammed the door behind him, not once letting Shuichi go.
~+~
Search for pleasure Search for pain
In this world now I am undying
I unfurl my flag my nation helpless
~+~
"Yuki, I," Shuichi was doing his best to remember what he had wanted to say, his purpose for imposing on this person's life once more. "Um, I just wanted to let-"
He never got to finish his sentence, Yuki having come upon him like a ravenous wolf, longing for the taste and touch of his tender lips. Caught in the kiss, Shuichi could only stumble back a little, having not truly expected this from Yuki.
"Just shut up," was all he mumbled as he held Shuichi close, moving from his neck down to nuzzle his shoulder, holding on a little tighter to his wrists than what he had intended to.
Shuichi let out a little yelp, but got picked up off of his feet and taken to the place he hadn't seen in so long. A time span that seemed like an eternity, yet he didn't want to truly return.
Thrown onto the covers, Yuki did his best to try and be as gentle to the touch as possible, barely succeeding alone in not just stripping him of his clothes now. He licked his collarbone, gently biting his skin, leaving little marks.
Shuichi was breathless underneath him, seeing little sparks with each contact of skin and teeth, not being able to deny the truth of having missed these caresses, these teases. He wanted to feel it all again.
~+~
Black Black Heart
Why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me
To satisfy
I'm on fire
I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
~+~
Shuichi looked up at the ceiling, wondering if Hiro would be very angry at him for having torn his outfit already, even if it wasn't his fault. Those would be problems he would have to deal with later. He gasped at the sudden contact with his most sensitive skin.
Yuki smiled at hearing him, pausing only once to hear him whisper his name.
"Yes?" he answered, raising his head so Shuichi could see his eyes flashing.
Shuichi didn't know if he wanted him to stop or just take him again like he had so many times before. That feeling he held in his gut hoped Yuki would be gentler, but something told him it would be like before if not worse. Quick and fast; that's how he was taken the first time. Fear crept up into him once again, and somehow Yuki could feel it as well.
Yuki felt Shuichi tense as he moved lower, leaving a trail of kisses on his stomach, but didn't want to stop. He kissed, caressed, embraced, and bit, causing Shuichi to twinge and moan, feeling scattered every time he had his thoughts organized.
~+~
As I begin to lose my grip
On these realities your sending
Taste your mind and taste your sex
I'm naked underneath your cover
~+~
"Yu-Yuki," Shuichi uttered, breathing hard, "stop-please stop it."
Yuki circled once, twice, added a little pressure and received a longing moan. "Stop what?" he asked innocently enough, but knew exactly what he meant. Normally he would have been worse, would have been rough and demanding. He was being tamer, taking his time, even if it was tearing him apart on the inside.
::This isn't right:: Suichi thought to himself, ::Nothing about this ever was right.::
//But you never did care before, now did you?// A little voice said in the back of his head. //None of that mattered, as long as Yuki accepted you.// Shuichi tried to think of where it came from, but couldn't focus long enough as Yuki added to the pressure he already had on him. He inhaled deeply, having not expected that feeling so fast. Shuichi had no more control over the way his body responded, laying on his stomach, he allowed Yuki to do as he wished.
Yuki had been nuzzling the back of his neck, enjoying the feeling for the first time. He hadn't expected Shuichi to loosen up like he did, to be so submissive without much of a fight. --What's wrong with him, today?--he wondered, a little worried.
Worried? Yuki had never been worried in his whole forsaken life, and he wouldn't start to just because of some little brat.
He slid off and gently turned Shuichi around to look into his face. "Hey," he said a little too gruff than intended, "is something on your mind?"
Shuichi stared at him, wondering if Yuki ever could truly feel anything for him besides disgust. He wondered if he could ever be more than just his little plaything.
//Hell no.//
That same little voice back again, probably telling the truth.
~+~
Covers lie and we will bend and borrow
With the coming sign
The tide will take the sea will rise
and time will rape
~+~
Yuki swore under his breath when Shuichi didn't respond, not knowing what was going on with the little pinkmaned punk. All he could think of was just to lie there next to him and hold him close, which is what he did, feeling the smaller boy shiver against his touch. Continuously tracing up and down his bare back, he began to kiss his neck while holding him closer.
Shuichi finally did snap and couldn't figure himself out any more.
"I don't love you."
Yuki didn't hear him at first and kept on stroking his back, but stopped when it registered in his mind. "What did you say?" he held him back by the shoulders, looking him directly in the eyes.
Shuichi trembled even more, having not expected Yuki to react like this. He couldn't read his face at all, but only see the look that seemed to peer into his soul.
"I," he began, crystal promises forming in his eyes, "I never did love you." ::I'm lying,:: he thought, shutting his eyes tightly, causing his tears to fall onto his cheeks. :: I'm lying and I can't stop. Please, Yuki, please notice my falsehood. I love you, I really do.::
//Then why lie?//
::Because I'm afraid::
//Of what?//
::Of being hurt and disappointed again.::
//You lie.//
~+~
Black Black Heart
Why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me
To satisfy
I'm on fire
I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
~+~
Yuki still couldn't believe what he had heard. Shuichi actually told him that 'he never had loved him?'
::How do I lie?::
//Because that wasn't what you where afraid of.//
::Then if you know so well, what am I afraid of.::
An image appeared in Shuichi's head, a little boy with pink hair, holding a teddy bear for comfort. He seemed like a toddler. And he was bleeding.
::What's wrong with you?::
The little boy looked at him and smiled. Shuichi nearly screamed out loud if he hadn't opened his eyes to see Yuki's golden ones staring at him in disbelief. That little boy is him! Him!
//You were afraid of ending up alone.//
::What?::
//You were afraid of ending up alone, and were prepared to reach out to anything that seemed like a holding point. Even if-//
The little boy looked at him sadly.
//Even if it meant shattering your inner child.//
And Shuichi understood he actually never did love Yuki. He had only needed him, used him as a rope to hold on to when falling off a cliff. And now that he was on safe land again,
::I let him drop.::
Shuichi moved out of Yuki's grip, grabbed his clothes and quickly dressed on his way out. But Yuki being Yuki, he refused to let it end like this. Pulling on his robe, he chased after Shuichi.
Before Shuichi could flee out into the comforting cold of the evening, Yuki grabbed his arm and pushed him against the locked door, wanting an honest answer before thinking further ahead.
"One thing only," he said through gritted teeth, holding Shuichi's trembling face so he was forced to look at him. His eyes wereÄ red, his neck was marked more than once, and his lips were slightly puffed. But what truly held his attention were Shuichi's eyes. Once bright, glimmering, and truly innocent, now they were deep hollow sockets, holding an emptiness and something far beyond healing. He had truly misused him for his own entertainment. "You won't ever come back, right?"
Shuichi hadn't been hit with that realization until now, and didn't want to think about it afterwards until much later. But he nodded, unable to avert his eyes.
Yuki actually began to smile, out of relief, out of pain, out of the feeling of truly having lost something precious, he didn't know. He just knew one thing. "This time, when you leave for good, I hope you find true happiness."
Shuichi had no idea where this kind Yuki came from and was almost tempted to go back to his warm embrace.
"Don't you dare go back!" Yuki's eyes flashed an angry shimmer, causing Shuichi to slightly flinch back, though Yuki still had a strong grip on him. Relaxing a bit, he pulled Shuichi's face close, gave him the most tender kiss he had ever experienced and let him go. "Here, the door's open," he said, moving to the side, though feeling the cold a little under the cold material.
Shuichi stood still, trembling all over and not knowing what to think. He had a whirl of emotions within him, not able to understand any of them, but he did look back, only once to see the Yuki he would never have met.
Walking out onto the street, his shirt being ripped at the shoulder, but pulling his jacket around him hid the proof of his clothes having been mishandled.
Yuki called out to him, once. "I don't want you to ever come back," he said clearly, leaning against the doorframe, "but I'll wait for you. Alone, in each room I will wait."
Shuichi definitely hadn't expected that, but what else could he do? He promised him.
"I won't," he somehow managed to smile, tears falling down his cheek again. "You won't ever see me again. But in your house I long to be." And without looking back, he walked out into his new life, his new destiny, his Bad Luck.
~+~
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
~+~
A/N: Hate me, kill me, this is my first fic, and I tried combining the ideas of Shuichi and Yuki staying forever and then Shuichi just snapping and never coming back. Remember, the first time isn't the charm, but if at first you do succeed, act like it was intentional. Now is your choice, continue or let this be the end? And rating is still thinking about being changed, what say you?
C.S.: I am seriously warped today; maybe I should add some citrus just to see how corrupted I became in the last two hours of reading lemon stories. Those things are cool, but...really extremely graphic. Yeah. I'm a music freak, so most of my fanfics that I'll write probably will be music fics I think.
Oh yeah, um, yaoi, meaning Shuichi and Yuki and a little graphic. Not too much, because my mind is still a little innocent, though images go beyond words.
Disclaimer: I just started writing this, what-this month? And the original manga has been out, how long again? This should tell you something about me being the owner * hint hint * I didn't create it. So it's not mine. 'Black Black Heart' is 'David Usher', who has no relation with Egghead 'Usher'. No offense towards his fans.
David Usher has some cool songs, and this one I was thinking about using for the first chapter, but then it really would have been a one-shot, and I had doubts. So I'll use it in this fic.
::Shuichi thoughts::
//creepy voice in Shuichi's head//
To: Black Dios: I attempted a 'Dark Shuichi', but probably not the type of dark you were talking about. He has voices in his head though, so that should be close, right?
Woki81: . . .Well, this wasn't really supposed to be a happy fic to begin with, but I tried. I think, sorry!!
Acolyte Avien: I really, really did try, but I suck at romances!!
Crimson Devil (blood cousin!): Like above, I tried, but I'm not all happy endings, so you might hate me or you might just dislike me, but I tried!
I tried making it to your guys' wishes, a dark Shuichi, a Shuichi and Yuki, and an option to continue this thing at all. Thank you and I'm sorry if it sucks!
Oh yeah, a little bit more detailed, but I might change it sometime.
~+~
Chapter 2- Sex and Diamonds
~+~
Something ugly this way comes
Through my fingers sliding inside
All these blessings all these words
I'm godless underneath your cover
~+~
Shuichi stood on the familiar front porch, the light shining dimly down upon him, enveloping him in a hazy white light. He was dressed in leather black, the material clenching to his skin and emphasizing all his curves on his small frame. His pink hair had slightly darkened, making it almost seem a purplish magenta.
Yuki opened the door and stood silently looking at him, a look of lust appearing in his eyes. He imagined tearing off each scrap of the cloth with his teeth, holding him down underneath him and tracing each part of him with his long fingers.
Shuichi smiled a little cautiously, wondering if it really had been a good idea to wear this new set they would be wearing for their next concert probably. "Hi," he managed, swallowing a lump in his throat. He had wanted to embrace Yuki like he had so many times before now. But he held his ground.
Yuki stood still a moment longer, then grabbed him by the arm, pulled him into his house and slammed the door behind him, not once letting Shuichi go.
~+~
Search for pleasure Search for pain
In this world now I am undying
I unfurl my flag my nation helpless
~+~
"Yuki, I," Shuichi was doing his best to remember what he had wanted to say, his purpose for imposing on this person's life once more. "Um, I just wanted to let-"
He never got to finish his sentence, Yuki having come upon him like a ravenous wolf, longing for the taste and touch of his tender lips. Caught in the kiss, Shuichi could only stumble back a little, having not truly expected this from Yuki.
"Just shut up," was all he mumbled as he held Shuichi close, moving from his neck down to nuzzle his shoulder, holding on a little tighter to his wrists than what he had intended to.
Shuichi let out a little yelp, but got picked up off of his feet and taken to the place he hadn't seen in so long. A time span that seemed like an eternity, yet he didn't want to truly return.
Thrown onto the covers, Yuki did his best to try and be as gentle to the touch as possible, barely succeeding alone in not just stripping him of his clothes now. He licked his collarbone, gently biting his skin, leaving little marks.
Shuichi was breathless underneath him, seeing little sparks with each contact of skin and teeth, not being able to deny the truth of having missed these caresses, these teases. He wanted to feel it all again.
~+~
Black Black Heart
Why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me
To satisfy
I'm on fire
I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
~+~
Shuichi looked up at the ceiling, wondering if Hiro would be very angry at him for having torn his outfit already, even if it wasn't his fault. Those would be problems he would have to deal with later. He gasped at the sudden contact with his most sensitive skin.
Yuki smiled at hearing him, pausing only once to hear him whisper his name.
"Yes?" he answered, raising his head so Shuichi could see his eyes flashing.
Shuichi didn't know if he wanted him to stop or just take him again like he had so many times before. That feeling he held in his gut hoped Yuki would be gentler, but something told him it would be like before if not worse. Quick and fast; that's how he was taken the first time. Fear crept up into him once again, and somehow Yuki could feel it as well.
Yuki felt Shuichi tense as he moved lower, leaving a trail of kisses on his stomach, but didn't want to stop. He kissed, caressed, embraced, and bit, causing Shuichi to twinge and moan, feeling scattered every time he had his thoughts organized.
~+~
As I begin to lose my grip
On these realities your sending
Taste your mind and taste your sex
I'm naked underneath your cover
~+~
"Yu-Yuki," Shuichi uttered, breathing hard, "stop-please stop it."
Yuki circled once, twice, added a little pressure and received a longing moan. "Stop what?" he asked innocently enough, but knew exactly what he meant. Normally he would have been worse, would have been rough and demanding. He was being tamer, taking his time, even if it was tearing him apart on the inside.
::This isn't right:: Suichi thought to himself, ::Nothing about this ever was right.::
//But you never did care before, now did you?// A little voice said in the back of his head. //None of that mattered, as long as Yuki accepted you.// Shuichi tried to think of where it came from, but couldn't focus long enough as Yuki added to the pressure he already had on him. He inhaled deeply, having not expected that feeling so fast. Shuichi had no more control over the way his body responded, laying on his stomach, he allowed Yuki to do as he wished.
Yuki had been nuzzling the back of his neck, enjoying the feeling for the first time. He hadn't expected Shuichi to loosen up like he did, to be so submissive without much of a fight. --What's wrong with him, today?--he wondered, a little worried.
Worried? Yuki had never been worried in his whole forsaken life, and he wouldn't start to just because of some little brat.
He slid off and gently turned Shuichi around to look into his face. "Hey," he said a little too gruff than intended, "is something on your mind?"
Shuichi stared at him, wondering if Yuki ever could truly feel anything for him besides disgust. He wondered if he could ever be more than just his little plaything.
//Hell no.//
That same little voice back again, probably telling the truth.
~+~
Covers lie and we will bend and borrow
With the coming sign
The tide will take the sea will rise
and time will rape
~+~
Yuki swore under his breath when Shuichi didn't respond, not knowing what was going on with the little pinkmaned punk. All he could think of was just to lie there next to him and hold him close, which is what he did, feeling the smaller boy shiver against his touch. Continuously tracing up and down his bare back, he began to kiss his neck while holding him closer.
Shuichi finally did snap and couldn't figure himself out any more.
"I don't love you."
Yuki didn't hear him at first and kept on stroking his back, but stopped when it registered in his mind. "What did you say?" he held him back by the shoulders, looking him directly in the eyes.
Shuichi trembled even more, having not expected Yuki to react like this. He couldn't read his face at all, but only see the look that seemed to peer into his soul.
"I," he began, crystal promises forming in his eyes, "I never did love you." ::I'm lying,:: he thought, shutting his eyes tightly, causing his tears to fall onto his cheeks. :: I'm lying and I can't stop. Please, Yuki, please notice my falsehood. I love you, I really do.::
//Then why lie?//
::Because I'm afraid::
//Of what?//
::Of being hurt and disappointed again.::
//You lie.//
~+~
Black Black Heart
Why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me
To satisfy
I'm on fire
I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
~+~
Yuki still couldn't believe what he had heard. Shuichi actually told him that 'he never had loved him?'
::How do I lie?::
//Because that wasn't what you where afraid of.//
::Then if you know so well, what am I afraid of.::
An image appeared in Shuichi's head, a little boy with pink hair, holding a teddy bear for comfort. He seemed like a toddler. And he was bleeding.
::What's wrong with you?::
The little boy looked at him and smiled. Shuichi nearly screamed out loud if he hadn't opened his eyes to see Yuki's golden ones staring at him in disbelief. That little boy is him! Him!
//You were afraid of ending up alone.//
::What?::
//You were afraid of ending up alone, and were prepared to reach out to anything that seemed like a holding point. Even if-//
The little boy looked at him sadly.
//Even if it meant shattering your inner child.//
And Shuichi understood he actually never did love Yuki. He had only needed him, used him as a rope to hold on to when falling off a cliff. And now that he was on safe land again,
::I let him drop.::
Shuichi moved out of Yuki's grip, grabbed his clothes and quickly dressed on his way out. But Yuki being Yuki, he refused to let it end like this. Pulling on his robe, he chased after Shuichi.
Before Shuichi could flee out into the comforting cold of the evening, Yuki grabbed his arm and pushed him against the locked door, wanting an honest answer before thinking further ahead.
"One thing only," he said through gritted teeth, holding Shuichi's trembling face so he was forced to look at him. His eyes wereÄ red, his neck was marked more than once, and his lips were slightly puffed. But what truly held his attention were Shuichi's eyes. Once bright, glimmering, and truly innocent, now they were deep hollow sockets, holding an emptiness and something far beyond healing. He had truly misused him for his own entertainment. "You won't ever come back, right?"
Shuichi hadn't been hit with that realization until now, and didn't want to think about it afterwards until much later. But he nodded, unable to avert his eyes.
Yuki actually began to smile, out of relief, out of pain, out of the feeling of truly having lost something precious, he didn't know. He just knew one thing. "This time, when you leave for good, I hope you find true happiness."
Shuichi had no idea where this kind Yuki came from and was almost tempted to go back to his warm embrace.
"Don't you dare go back!" Yuki's eyes flashed an angry shimmer, causing Shuichi to slightly flinch back, though Yuki still had a strong grip on him. Relaxing a bit, he pulled Shuichi's face close, gave him the most tender kiss he had ever experienced and let him go. "Here, the door's open," he said, moving to the side, though feeling the cold a little under the cold material.
Shuichi stood still, trembling all over and not knowing what to think. He had a whirl of emotions within him, not able to understand any of them, but he did look back, only once to see the Yuki he would never have met.
Walking out onto the street, his shirt being ripped at the shoulder, but pulling his jacket around him hid the proof of his clothes having been mishandled.
Yuki called out to him, once. "I don't want you to ever come back," he said clearly, leaning against the doorframe, "but I'll wait for you. Alone, in each room I will wait."
Shuichi definitely hadn't expected that, but what else could he do? He promised him.
"I won't," he somehow managed to smile, tears falling down his cheek again. "You won't ever see me again. But in your house I long to be." And without looking back, he walked out into his new life, his new destiny, his Bad Luck.
~+~
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds
~+~
A/N: Hate me, kill me, this is my first fic, and I tried combining the ideas of Shuichi and Yuki staying forever and then Shuichi just snapping and never coming back. Remember, the first time isn't the charm, but if at first you do succeed, act like it was intentional. Now is your choice, continue or let this be the end? And rating is still thinking about being changed, what say you?