I was at dinner when I received an owl – it was her owl, Alex, I knew then that there was something wrong – she only ever sent me letters in the morning or late at night when I couldn't sleep, she always knew when I couldn't sleep. Alex landed in front of me & I took the letter from her she nibbled on a piece of roll that I offered her before she once again took flight, that's when I knew something was really wrong for two reasons, firstly Alex always waited for me to reply to the letter then she'd take it back to Jen, also Alex flew towards the owlery rather than home she wouldn't do that unless there either wasn't a home to go to or something serious had happened to Jen.
After all the bad omens I was almost too afraid to open the letter, but I knew that I had to, & I also knew that I couldn't do it there in front of everyone, so I excused my self from dinner finding that all of a sudden I wasn't hungry any longer. I walked into the entrance hall & found that as soon as I was out I had to know what she'd written I ripped open the envelope & read
Neville,
I can hear people downstairs, Gran is out & Algie isn't here today, I'm the only one home yet there are people downstairs & they don't sound friendly – I might be panicking over nothing but I can't go & check, you know that. They're coming up the stairs, they're just outside my door, shit they're death eaters, it's Bellatrix she wont leave me alive. I love you Neville, don't you ever forget that your older sister loved you. Tell Gran that I said goodbye & tell Algie that I loved him – the door is opening this is the end, you always were my favourite little brother – even if there was only the two of us.
Goodbye, with all my love
Jenny.
P.S. You are my last thought.
I finished the letter & collapsed on the floor, tears streaming down my face – I don't even try to contain them my big sister is dead, what do a few tears matter who cares who sees me cry. I vaguely recognize the sound of the door to the great hall opening & I think I see a face come into view, but my vision is impaired, her face & her voice ring in my ears.
"Neville, are you all right?" the voice is familiar & female but I can't identify it, I look into her face, she is a professor but her name is not connecting with her face.
"Death eaters...home...Jenny...dead..." was all I managed to say before my throat closed off completely. The professor looked at me & quickly filled in the blanks she then put her arm around my shoulders & helped me to stand, she led me up the stairs & walked with me along the corridors until we reached a statue. She gave a password & we went up more stairs & entered an office – Dumbledore's office.
Finally, my brain seems to catch up, I look over at the professor once more & I immediately recognized her as McGonagall – how could I not recognize her? I sat down opposite Dumbledore & looked him straight in the eye. He didn't say a thing & I knew he was waiting for me to speak.
"She's dead, sir." I felt that that was all he would need to understand.
"Who's dead?" obviously I was wrong.
"Jenny"
"Oh, well I guess it wont be necessary to move her tomorrow."
"Yes, it would be somewhat pointless."
I sat there facing the headmaster for some time, I know that he was speaking to me but I had slipped into my own memories of her.
We were in her room, a sickeningly sweet shade of pink – that had been Gran's choice not hers – I sat on the floor, Jen sat in her chair we'd just gotten home after seeing mum & dad & Jen had seen her doctor for a check-up, between her & our parents we spent most of our childhood in St Mungo's.
Still Dumbledore spoke, now I slowly begin to tune back in although he still seems to say nothing, well nothing of importance at least. Nothing was important anymore, Life no longer has any meaning, there is no point to anything anymore. For months I've been trying so hard to get my grades up so that the only person who really means anything to me could be with me, here at school & just when all the arrangements had been made, less than twenty-four hours before she was to be moved, she's murdered.
My Jenny, my best friend, my other half, my hero, my sister, my twin, she died today, aged sixteen, she was too young to die she was after all only ten minutes older than me. She died alone & in a place she had never really liked, one she had merely tolerated. I hated myself for ever leaving her; I tried to get out of coming here, I'd wanted to stay with her. It was Gran, who'd said no in the end, but as a compromise Dumbledore had agreed to move her to Hogwarts & tomorrow was meant to be the day of the big move, but tomorrow would be too late for my Jenny.
Jenny had not come to Hogwarts because when we were really little (only about one) our parents had been attacked – this was the part of the story everyone knew, but what almost no one knew was that Jenny & me had been there, in the same room. One of the death eaters had thought it would be funny if they attacked us as well as mum & dad, that was Bellatrix she had even less heart than the other death eaters. Bellatrix attacked Jenny first & the damage she caused was irrevocable, it had left Jenny in a wheelchair & almost completely paralyzed, thinking she'd done enough damage to Jenny she turned on me, well the other death eaters stopped her before she could cause any permanent damage, no one knows why we were the only ones there – well the only ones who are still in their right minds. We always feared that Bellatrix would come after us one day & since she has been out of Azkaban we've almost been waiting for her to get one, if not both, of us. Because of Jenny's condition (i.e. the chair) she had been unable to attend Hogwarts, being paralyzed she would have only been able to do the theoretical side of the courses & the idea of the theory was to lead into the practical, some professors also said that squibs could learn theory, so if Jenny could come to Hogwarts then why couldn't they? In the end it was decided that I would go to Hogwarts without Jenny, I was so scared, & upset, I'd never been away from Jenny for more than a few hours how was I going to cope with a whole year?
Then I got to Hogwarts I was so depressed without Jenny that I didn't even try to make friends – Hermione chatted to me happily about everything she knew & everything she wanted to know, never once did she ask about me, it was all her, her, her. But for me it was easier to listen, talking would mean I had to share, in listening I got to let her go off into her own little world. But now I wish I did share my Jenny, with Hermione, with everyone, that way she would be remembered by everyone, no one but knew my Jenny, & now she was not even a shadow in this world, only a mark on my memory & one that I would never let fade, ever.