Author: Calex

Rating: R

Genre(s): Darkfic/ Future fic/ Angst/ Romance

Characters: Lucius Malfoy, Ginevra Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Giuseppe Zabini (OC), Evangeline de Wolf (OC)

Summary: "Malfoy's share. We share all our glories and our downfalls. Mostly, we share our spoils and somehow, on that bright Autumn late afternoon, much brighter than usual for England, I realised that she was not a prize. That she was real." –Taken from the text

The 10th Muse - Realisation

The three days we spent together held upon it a dream like quality. The two of us were happy, really happy. We woke up in bed together and would make love, then a House Elf would bring in the food. After that we made love, and would have a shower and make love again. Then we'd spend our day talking or reading or doing anything that caught our fancy... and made love. We would eat supper outside and then go upstairs to make love before falling asleep in each other's arms. One day, Ginny took me to satisfy my curiosity of muggle London and we spent the day watching what muggles called a "movie". It was very strange, it was like a big painting and the paintings would act plays. However... I have to admit to having enjoyed them, at least, with her. We watched a few classics, movies by a man called Bogart, Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, James Dean... She brought me to a jazz club in a place called New Orleans in America. Then came the day for Draco to come back. I awoke, limbs entwined with Ginevra's and I felt sadness, the like which I had never experienced before engulfing me. I wrapped my arms more securely around her, placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and was content to just hold her in my arms. Peace... I had never known such peace as she had elicited in me. In Azkaban, Cissa was my source of peace. After her death... Ginny was a source of passion, but she had always brought with her something that was akin to peace.

I tightened my hold on her, used one hand to alternately cup her face and brush the blood red curls away so I could better see the clean features of the woman I had fallen in love with. Yes.. I suppose I have fallen in love with her. Like I said, it was inevitable, my lust for her and also my... love. I placed another kiss on the top of her head, her forehead, then I gently kissed her closed eyelids. I felt them flutter beneath my lips as she slowly blinked and gazed up at me, warm cinnamon eyes warm and sleepy meeting mine.

"Good morning," she whispered as she lifted her mouth for a kiss. I complied, could do nothing less than comply. Her mouth fitted mine perfectly as my tongue traced the lines of a mouth that was becoming steadfastly familiar. I memorised the dips and falls of her mouth with my tongue, trying to prolong the kiss. Then I traced the seam of her mouth and she opened for me without question. The kiss was long and deep as I twisted her under me. Our hands explored each other, already so familiar with each other's bodies as though we had been lovers for years rather than short, mere days. When I slipped into her again, it was slow, languid. And a comforting caress. We came with soft cries on our lips, of each others names, then we lay quietly once more in each other's arms.

"I don't want to move," Ginny said with a small laugh. She stretched in my arms and I tightened my hold on her waist as I felt her full breasts press against my chest. I laid my mouth on her forehead.

"And I don't think you should... unless you want a repeat of what just happened."

"You're awfully spry for an old man," Ginny teased and I felt my mouth curve on the taut skin of her forehead. I gently swatted at her pale, bare bottom and she gasped, looking up to mock-glare at me.

"Who are you calling old man, little girl?"

"Who're you calling little girl?" she nipped at my bottom lip and soothed the slight sting with a sensuous swipe of her tongue. She snuggled in my arms again, resting her head on the crook of my neck. I heard her inhaling and I laughed.

"What on earth are you doing, child?"

"You smell good," she said, her words muffled by my skin. I felt a droll smile curve my lips. As I rested my cheek on the top of her head.

"I rather hope that I don't smell bad."

"Oh, you know what I mean," she said, turning her cheek to rest on my shoulder. She let out a contented sigh. "I don't want this to ever end." I felt the words put a... damper on things, so to speak. Her words reminded me that we were living on borrowed time, that she wasn't truly mine, but my son's. I did not know what we were to do, did not know what course of action she would take and somehow it bothered me that she did not share it. I needed to know, needed it. Like I needed her. I wanted to know if she would hold this experience to heart, as I found myself to. I wanted to know if she would choose to stay with me, the father, or Draco... my son.

I shifted a bit, raised myself up to prop against the pillows and pulled her up with me. She lifted her head and shot me a look of confusion. I kissed her forehead and reluctantly let go of her. I saw her pull the sheets up to cover her bare breasts as she had realised that this would be... serious. A serious conversation. Yes. Serious. I needed to realise that, needed to think upon that. I needed for us to talk about what would happen, about... us.

"What is it, Lucius?"

Salazar, she sounded so worried. So... apprehensive. It was everything I could do not to hold her and reassure her that everything was fine. I wanted to know, needed to know. She had to make a choice, for with my feelings, I don't think I could ever share her with anyone...my son especially. I've always been protective, always been greedy, always been possessive... but this has nothing to do with all that. It was simply that I would not be able to live, knowing that some other man touched her as I did. I sighed as I thought this, turned my head away and let the strands of hair that had grown out long enough to brush my eyes fall forwards.

"Who is it, Ginny?" I asked, finally, my voice low and quiet. She froze and her body tensed. She looked at me carefully, seemingly to decipher my thoughts. I don't know why, but that action hurt me, hurt me a hell of a lot more then if she had said Draco. Or perhaps that is a lie, I do not know if there would possibly be anything worse, anything closer to my very nightmares, than that.

"I don't know what you mean," she said, carefully and in those words I felt that first cut of hurt, like a knife carving out a layer from my heart. I didn't let that show, Slytherin training comes in useful. I looked at her steadily and was... impressed in a detached way when she did not flinch.

"I meant," I said, my voice carefully controlled and monitored for any kind of emotion that I deemed unsuitable for this conversation. I would not have her realise how deep of a hold she has on me, will not let her realise how much her answer meant to me. I knew what she was playing at, but I humoured her. Love, eh? "If you would choose Draco... or me."

"Lucius," Ginny started, not expecting my bluntness, perhaps. I just shrugged. She crawled towards me, all thoughts of modesty gone as the sheet slipped past her breasts and leaving her naked to my gaze to the waist. I flinched when she raised a hand to touch my face and she withdrew the offending body part. She had a look of such hurt on her face. I knew I had no reason to be guilty, but damn all of it, I did anyway! I caught her to me before she could turn away, pulled her body to me and let my mouth crash down on hers. She responded passionately, and the dispassionate part of my brain wondered if this was a welcome distraction, but I squashed that voice down. For now, all that I knew was the beautiful woman in my arms, responding to my touch like a finely tuned instrument. However, it was she that pulled back first, breathless. She held my face in the cusp of her hands and rained soft, gentle kisses on my face. "Lucius, Lucius..." my name became a mantra that fell from her rosy lips like a prayer for in her calling my name, I saw what I wanted to see, I saw what I presumed was my future... her. Me. Our children. I was distracted once again when she caught my mouth in a bruising kiss.

"I love you," I said hoarsely, not telling her be damned! Her body shook and I felt the salty liquid that was her tears on my lips as we kissed. It felt like such a relief, saying those words to her, finally. I had been wanting to do so for such a long time and now that the words were freed, I could not help but laugh and say them again. "I love you." I held her in my arms, laughing and crying as we held each other, kissed away the tears that fell now from both our eyes. I held her close to me, so close that I could feel the beat of her heart against me and probably mine against her. I wanted nothing else but this, nothing else but her, nothing else but this moment. I didn't know... couldn't possibly think... what my life would have been like if she had not... but I will not think about that, now, for her answer was favourable, for what I felt like now, it would be such an insult to think of what might have been.

"Ginevra," I pulled back, to smile at her. "We will get married in Malfoy Grove, married in the place where generations of Malfoys tied themselves to each other. I cannot wait, my love," I smiled softly. "I want to see you round with my child. I want to wake up in the morning to this, to you. To seeing your face in either wakefulness or sleep."

"Lucius..."

"We'll have beautiful children, you and I," I laughed. "A little girl, the first Malfoy to have red hair. But she'll be beautiful because she is ours. And a little boy to take care of her as well? He will be head boy and prefect of Hogwarts, like his family."

"Lucius!"

This time I could not ignore the desperate tone in her voice. I looked over and saw her face... saw the distress on her face and I felt that clawing fear in my stomach, again, felt it tear out my heart and block my throat with it. She pulled away from my arms and shivered, wrapping her hands around her arms and the discreet flash of her diamond ring caught my eye. My mouth twisted, the bitter taste of defeat at that subtle reminder. She had not moved to me out of acceptance, but from regret. For goodbye. I got up abruptly and shrugged on my grey silk robe. I carefully kept my gaze anywhere but on her as I carefully tied the belt of my robe tightly. Then I walked away from that room, walked away from her, walked away from the memories. It was in her room that she had brought us to, always her room. Or a guest room. Or a hotel. Never mine, never that. I never realised how she had imposed those little touches that insured distance on her part. While I had given her everything, everything... I felt my mouth tighten at that. I had never let myself become as vulnerable as I had with her and just let everything go. I had forgotten myself, forgotten who I was and who she was. I will not make the same mistake again. As I rounded the corner to my room, I was greeted by the sight of my son. He was looking dishevelled, his tie was loose and he had a smudge of some bright red colour I recall on the person of the Miss Zabini as her trademark colour. He stared at me and I at him, the two of us looked at each other, knowledge of what the other had done evident in our stances and our faces. Finally, I inclined my head and my voice when I spoke had been cold.

"You won, Draco. She's yours. Have your little fiancée... it was what you had wanted all along. I'm glad you had a nice trip."

With that, I strode down the hall towards my own chambers. I pulled the door closed and locked it, manually and also with several locking charms. Then I flicked my wand and let the curtains close. The once bright room fell into darkness and I crossed the room to light a candle. After doing so, I went to my alcohol cupboard and poured myself a tumbler of whisky, neat. I brought my drink with me in front of the fire that I had magically lit and sat, staring into the flames and slowly drinking myself into a stupor.