Yes I tried so vainly to keep Naomi/kyoko out of this but it's so hard...I know im impossible...but seeing as I'm (so far at least) his only admirer I just couldn't resist.
A Brother's Duet:
A Brother's Sorrow Chpt. 2
This had been the first time in many years, that I had I looked back on what I done. In every respect I don't regret what I did, it's made me stronger, invincible, yet I still try to fathom why. What caused me to sell my soul to the devil for the sake of my brother and my greed?
In all my years since I was a child, I am now fully crying. Now you're probably thinking that this man does not, should not be crying. That this man is too evil, too ruthless, and too psychotic to cry...he should not be crying. Yet here I am, drowning in my salty abyss. Why am I crying might one ask? Because even though I am a demon, I don't have everything. Every demon longs for something irrelevant, something worth the challenge, or something that is plain unattainable. I long for the days when I ran free and my brother always beside me. Women never were a question and our only companions were each other. Now those days are gone and so is he. This psychotic front that I put up is for my own good, and maybe for others. If I can scare others away I won't hurt them, like I have myself, and others. I won't disgust them into turning away from me such as I have done to myself like my brother has done to me. I cry because I am not whole. There are pieces never to be retrieved again, pieces buried with my heart and sold with my soul.
My golden eyes are glossy and my nose is going berserk, yet I manage the strength and the dignity to stand. I cut path with a mirror and chance a peak. I look, I can say the least, terrible. Golden orbs rimmed with red, face rivaling new fallen snow and my nose has yet to cease. I gently shake my head as if to question my appearance, and that I do. What has become of me? I am an invincible force, one to be reckoned with, yet here I am sniveling away like there's no tomorrow. Maybe there is no tomorrow.
Training takes my mind off of these horrid things.
Down into Makai I descend. The only true peace for me is to be surrounded by a ghastly nothing. Brawling demons, crimson splattered walls, and agonizing screams don't fill my appetite anymore. Not now at least. Toguro surely would be disgusted of me now, but it is because of him that I did these deeds. Little brother I sold my soul for you. And my own greed granted, but mostly for you...
Yet you don't see it. Everything you wanted or ever wanted blinded you. You forgot about the one thing left in your miserable, pitiful excuse for a life. That was when you met her. Beauty and wit doesn't get you everywhere in life Genkai, granted I tried, but you, you tried harder. You despise me, I'm no fool, one look at your face told me that, but not as much as I despised you. Yes I wanted you, nothing more than to hold you. But it was nothing more than lust, and again greed. Whatever my brother wanted, he got, whilst I got nothing. So by lusting for you I thought I could prove that I too could get something of my own. You proved to me that love is indeed stronger than lust. That is one lesson that has always stayed with me. Why I don't know, I will never love again, nor will I lust. There may have been a time, a long time ago when I may have loved someone, but she was the sister of the fighter who finally beat me. No not Shizuru, Kyoko or commonly known as Naomi, the typer of this fic and the only one with a deep understanding of me. But she's been out of site for a while now, and I have no desire to look for her. What will she say? Will she say anything at all or will she flee in disgust? Or will she embrace me and weep tears of joy? One man can only dream of a woman's embrace...and dream I shall.
The harsh wind nips at my face, as if scolding me. Everyone and everything these days seems to be scolding me. But I do deserve this. Wallowing in self-pity is not something I am proud of, but what is left of me? Where do I turn to when everyone has turned away from me? Shape shifters emerge from the clearing. I am ready for them, for they are low class demons, not worth my time. As soon as they appeared they were down. One had water with them. How sanitary it was, I may never know, but as for now I was parched. It's weird to think that a demon was carrying water with them. I never have, nor have I ever seen one before. I continue on, there's one spot Ototo and I used to go to all the time. I may be ruthless and don't pity anyone nor do I show mercy, but there's one thing I haven't forgotten, how to love my brother. You're thinking this is not like me, and it isn't, but there are things in life that don't stay the same. I am one of them. That plant has taught me many things. One of which was to forgive myself. You can't forgive others if you haven't forgiven yourself.