Chris paced nervously across the waiting room. He replayed that moment
over and over again in his mind. Looking over to Stephanie and seeing her
crumble to the ground, her hair falling lifelessly around her face.
Everything after that was such a blur, all he could remember was him
standing there motionless as voices screamed around him, trainers rushing
to his wife. He vaguely remembered Shane pushing him into the ambulance
with Stephanie, but after that, there was nothing.
He couldn't do this again, he couldn't be put through this again. It was too much, if he lost her again, he wouldn't be able to stand it, at all. He could not survive that again. He tried not to think of Trish and all the things he would love to do to her, but so many horrible things were passing through his mind.
"Daddy?"
Chris looked down and saw Regan looking up at him innocently, "Yes Princess?"
"What we doing here?" she asked.
He picked her up easily and kissed her cheek, "Mommy got sick so we had to come here to make sure she'll be ok."
"She have cold?"
"No, it's a little bit more than a cold."
"Oh."
In truth, Chris didn't know how Stephanie was doing, nobody had come out and told him how she was or how their baby was. It was making him nervous that they were keeping him waiting for so long. What could be taking them so long that they couldn't come out here and at least give him an update? He looked around the waiting room. Vince and Linda were sitting next to each other, Linda holding Vince's hand tightly as he whispered something to her, trying to ease her nervousness. Shane sat in the corner, his head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed deep in thought. Kurt was sitting on the other side, wringing his hands, trying to hope for the best.
Chris put Regan down, "Why don't you go lie down on that couch over there sweetie and try to sleep. It's way past your bedtime."
"I no tired Daddy," she told him.
"I know, but it'll make me feel better to know that you're getting a good night's sleep."
"Ok," she nodded, "I tell Mama g'night."
"You can't tell her right now, but when Daddy sees her, I'll be sure to tell her that you said goodnight."
"Kay Daddy."
He picked her up, setting her down on the waiting room couch. He took his jacket and covered her with it, kissing her forehead softly. She gave him a soft smile before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. He gave a look heavenward, thanking God once again for giving him his little girl. If it weren't for her, he'd have either gone crazy or died by now.
"Night Princess," he said softly.
He stood back up and gave another look around the waiting room. Deciding that this was too depressing he quickly left and went outside to get a breath of fresh air. The hospital was stifling him and he couldn't bear it anymore. That clean smell and bright fluorescent lights were getting to him. He stepped out into the clean, night air and took a deep breath. He sat down on a bench and looked skyward.
The night was clear and the stars were shining so brightly. Once upon a time, he would look up and envision Stephanie as one of those stars, looking down on him as he tried to make it without her. Never before had the possibility of her death been so real to him. Not even when he thought she had died before.
Sure, they had said she died, but for the days after the plane crash, he had gone on believing, in some deep, dark crevice of his soul that she was alive. They never found her body, nor any of her body parts, nothing to positively identify her. Nothing except her belongings. He had held onto that last hope that she wasn't gone. As time went by, he accepted that she was gone, but having never found her, it was like she was just away somewhere, and she would come back soon. And lo and behold, it had happened.
But now, here he was, an actual hospital and she was in it. She was lying on some hospital bed, or God forbid an operating table and death had never seemed more real. And it wasn't just her, it was their baby, this poor, innocent little thing that had never hurt anyone, and their life may be hanging in the balance. God, if he lost both of them, he didn't know how he would react. He felt someone's presence behind him and then sit down next to him. He gave a glance to the other person and then went back to staring up at the sky.
"Any word?" Chris asked simply.
"No, nothing yet."
"What the fuck could they be doing to her?" Chris said angrily, slamming his hand down on the bench next to him.
"I don't know, I just don't know anymore."
"God, why did I let her go through with this?" Chris said, putting his head in his hands.
"You couldn't have known what Trish would do," Shane told him, putting a comforting hand on his back.
"But still, she's pregnant, I shouldn't have let her come out there, she could've done it over the titantron or something."
"This is Stephanie we're talking about. You can't tell her no because she will charm you until you give in."
"I should've put my foot down with this one."
"She wouldn't have stood for it, she would've done it anyways, regardless of what you said," Shane said, "She stubborn and bull-headed, just like you are. It's what makes you perfect for each other."
"And look where it landed us, at the hospital."
"If I know my sister, and I know my sister, she's not going anywhere, she's too stubborn to let herself go anywhere," Shane reassured him.
"If I could've just stopped Trish," Chris said, wanting to hit his head against a wall at his stupidity.
"Chris, let it go, there's nothing you can do now, but wait."
"Let it go! I could've killed two of the most important things in my life. She could be dying, our baby could be dead!" he said, tears streaming down his face, tears he didn't even realize.
"Chris!" Shane said, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him, "This is NOT your fault! You are not the one who did this to her, you are not the one who tackled her or punched her!"
"I might as well have been, I didn't protect her."
"None of us did.....none of us did."
"I don't know what to do."
"You should come back inside and wait with us, you'll feel better if you have people around, if you have Regan around."
"Oh God, Regan! What if they die, what am I going to tell her?" Chris cried, "She can't lose her mother twice."
"She's not going to lose Stephanie, none of us are, now come back inside," Shane said, standing up.
"I'll be in, in a second," Chris said, wiping his eyes.
"Ok, don't be too long, you don't know when they'll tell us what's going on."
Chris nodded as Shane left him alone again. He wiped off his cheeks, trying to dry them of the tears that had fallen. Crying wasn't going to solve anything, it wouldn't turn back time, it wouldn't make anything better. He stared straight ahead into the darkness of the night. The silence was killing him out here. He closed his eyes painfully, blocking out the sound of Stephanie hitting the ground with a sick thud.
"Please God, don't take her again," Chris whispered, "Just please don't take her from me. And not our baby either."
He got up quietly, forcing himself to go back inside, his steps slow and heavy. He shoved his hands in his pockets, head down as he went back to the waiting room. He walked inside and felt everyone's eyes on him. He couldn't bear to look any of them in the eyes and simply took a seat next to Linda. He felt her wrap him in a hug and he just cried into her shoulder.
"It's ok Chris, shh, it'll be ok," Linda whispered, trying to comfort him, this scene so reminiscent of the last time they lost Stephanie.
He sat there, letting his mother-in-law comfort him, trying to draw strength from somewhere, anywhere. He just couldn't go through this all again. The first time had nearly broken him. He couldn't do it a second time, he couldn't wake up in the morning without her beside him again. It was all too much.
"Are you here with Mrs. Jericho?" a doctor asked, walking into the room.
"Yes, we're her family," Vince said, speaking up.
Chris pulled away from Linda and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He prepared himself for the worst. He mentally pictured the doctor telling him that both his wife and child were dead and they weren't coming back this time. He steeled his nerves, willing himself to look up at the doctor who held his fate in the palm of her hands.
"Well, she's a very lucky woman," she told them, "She'll be just fine."
Chris let out the breath he had been holding and bit his lip in happiness. He wanted to run up to the doctor and kiss her, thanking her for saving his wife, and not letting him be alone again. He just didn't know how the doctor would take it. He couldn't find the words to begin what he wanted to say.
"What happened to her?" Shane asked.
"Well, it was scary there for a while. She fainted because of the blood she had lost from the gash on her head and her broken nose. The EMT's explained she had suffered blunt trauma to her stomach and that caused her to go into labor prematurely while we were clearing up her head. She was unconscious at the time..."
"Are you saying she had the baby?" Chris finally asked, "It's too soon."
"Well, we weren't sure if it was going to happen or not. It was touch and go really. We couldn't give her the usual drugs that we give to women who go into premature labor because she wasn't able to take them, being unconscious, so we gave drugs to her via IV to try and stop her contractions. It's my understanding that she's about 7 months pregnant--"
"Yeah," Chris interrupted.
"So we wanted to try to keep the baby in utero as long as possible," she informed them, "Thankfully, she took to the drugs well and we were able to stop the labor. So she should be able to carry to full term and she and the baby should be just fine. She just needs a lot of bed rest right now."
"Oh thank God," Linda said, taking Vince's hand in relief.
"Can I go see her?" Chris asked, "I'm her husband."
"She's resting comfortably right now," the doctor said, "But I don't see why you couldn't see her."
Chris nodded gratefully before getting up. He got a reassuring squeeze of the hand from Linda and an "I told you so" look from Shane. He walked over to where the doctor was and she motioned for him to follow her. She took him through the doors and he followed her obediently until she arrived at a room.
"Here you go," she smiled kindly.
"I just wanted to thank you," Chris said, "For everything."
"It's my pleasure," she told him, "And as it turns out, we found out the sex of your baby. Would you like to know?"
"Does she know?" he asked.
"No."
"We'll think about it," he said.
"That's fine," she smiled before leaving.
Chris went through the door and saw Stephanie lying there peacefully. He smiled as he saw her face. It wasn't the sickly pale it had been earlier, her cheeks were much more full of color. He looked around her and saw her hooked up to some monitoring machines and saw a machine connected to something under her blanket, most likely her stomach to monitor the baby. He sat down next to her and took her hand, pressing the palm against his cheek before kissing her fingers.
"Hey baby, I'm so happy to know you're ok," he said, though she was asleep, "I'm sorry for everything that happened. If I had just protected you more, this never would've happened and you would be ok and we'd be in our hotel room, celebrating our good fortune at getting rid of Trish."
"Well, where's the champagne to celebrate?" a hoarse whisper came from her mouth.
"Steph!" he exclaimed, standing up so he could look at her face.
"Yeah, it's me," she said, opening her eyes to look up at him, "Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out I'm in the hospital."
"Yeah," he said, brushing her hair back with his hand.
"And what happened to get me stuck here?"
"How much do you remember?"
"Um...you helping me up after Trish hit me," she answered.
"Well, you fainted and we rushed you to the hospital and you had some stitches and a broken nose and then you went into labor--"
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, then lifted her blanket, checking to see if she had a flat tummy or not. She sighed in relief as she still saw her swollen belly, "Oh thank goodness."
"They were able to stop your contractions and the baby is going to be just fine, you can carry it to term," he comforted her.
"Oh, that's good to hear, that stupid bitch," she muttered, "Can't believe she'd do this."
"I know," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead, "I should've been protecting you. It's my fault you're in here in the first place."
"Hey, now where did you get that idea?" she said, gripping his hand tightly.
He looked away in shame, "I should've stopped her, I shouldn't have even let her get near you. I wasn't quick enough to protect you."
"Oh dear God Chris," she said, reaching up to turn his face to her, "You had nothing to do with this, nothing at all. If you did, I would've kicked your ass out of my room, but you weren't the one that put me here."
"I just feel so responsible."
"Well, don't, because you're not. Sweetie, there are going to be times where you can't protect me, that's the cold, hard truth. That doesn't mean you love me any less, or you aren't being the best husband in the world. Don't you think sometimes I hate watching you go out there and get beat on day in and day out, but I know it's going to happen."
"How do you know all the right things to say?"
"I've been with you far too long," she said, giving him a smirk.
He leaned down to kiss her softly as she wrapped her hand around his head, letting her fingers gently rub the back of his neck. He kissed her for a long moment and she could feel their cheeks getting wet with his tears. She pulled away and looked up at him, taking her thumb and erasing the tears from his cheeks.
"Hey, no tears," she said, softly.
"Sorry," he apologized, "I just thought I had lost you again."
"Shh," she whispered, bringing his head down to kiss his forehead before he laid his head on her chest. She played with his hair, soothing his nerves, "I'm not going anywhere, you should know that by now."
"They weren't telling me anything and I was so worried, I can't lose you again Steph, Regan can't lose you either."
"Where's Regan?"
"She's fine, she's laying out in the waiting room with your family and Kurt."
"Ok, well, neither of you are losing me ok, get that through your thick skull."
"Ok," he said, giving a small laugh.
"Good, just making sure you know," she said, playing with his hair.
"They know what sex the baby is," he said, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Really?" she asked, "Did you find out?"
"No, of course not, I mean, we never did with Regan, why start now?"
"You're right, I was just wondering if you could possibly know," she paused, "I didn't like Trish's threat tonight."
"Neither did I," he admitted.
"It scares me."
"Don't worry Steph, I promise you this, she will never hurt you again. As long as I live and breathe, she will never touch you again."
He couldn't do this again, he couldn't be put through this again. It was too much, if he lost her again, he wouldn't be able to stand it, at all. He could not survive that again. He tried not to think of Trish and all the things he would love to do to her, but so many horrible things were passing through his mind.
"Daddy?"
Chris looked down and saw Regan looking up at him innocently, "Yes Princess?"
"What we doing here?" she asked.
He picked her up easily and kissed her cheek, "Mommy got sick so we had to come here to make sure she'll be ok."
"She have cold?"
"No, it's a little bit more than a cold."
"Oh."
In truth, Chris didn't know how Stephanie was doing, nobody had come out and told him how she was or how their baby was. It was making him nervous that they were keeping him waiting for so long. What could be taking them so long that they couldn't come out here and at least give him an update? He looked around the waiting room. Vince and Linda were sitting next to each other, Linda holding Vince's hand tightly as he whispered something to her, trying to ease her nervousness. Shane sat in the corner, his head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed deep in thought. Kurt was sitting on the other side, wringing his hands, trying to hope for the best.
Chris put Regan down, "Why don't you go lie down on that couch over there sweetie and try to sleep. It's way past your bedtime."
"I no tired Daddy," she told him.
"I know, but it'll make me feel better to know that you're getting a good night's sleep."
"Ok," she nodded, "I tell Mama g'night."
"You can't tell her right now, but when Daddy sees her, I'll be sure to tell her that you said goodnight."
"Kay Daddy."
He picked her up, setting her down on the waiting room couch. He took his jacket and covered her with it, kissing her forehead softly. She gave him a soft smile before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. He gave a look heavenward, thanking God once again for giving him his little girl. If it weren't for her, he'd have either gone crazy or died by now.
"Night Princess," he said softly.
He stood back up and gave another look around the waiting room. Deciding that this was too depressing he quickly left and went outside to get a breath of fresh air. The hospital was stifling him and he couldn't bear it anymore. That clean smell and bright fluorescent lights were getting to him. He stepped out into the clean, night air and took a deep breath. He sat down on a bench and looked skyward.
The night was clear and the stars were shining so brightly. Once upon a time, he would look up and envision Stephanie as one of those stars, looking down on him as he tried to make it without her. Never before had the possibility of her death been so real to him. Not even when he thought she had died before.
Sure, they had said she died, but for the days after the plane crash, he had gone on believing, in some deep, dark crevice of his soul that she was alive. They never found her body, nor any of her body parts, nothing to positively identify her. Nothing except her belongings. He had held onto that last hope that she wasn't gone. As time went by, he accepted that she was gone, but having never found her, it was like she was just away somewhere, and she would come back soon. And lo and behold, it had happened.
But now, here he was, an actual hospital and she was in it. She was lying on some hospital bed, or God forbid an operating table and death had never seemed more real. And it wasn't just her, it was their baby, this poor, innocent little thing that had never hurt anyone, and their life may be hanging in the balance. God, if he lost both of them, he didn't know how he would react. He felt someone's presence behind him and then sit down next to him. He gave a glance to the other person and then went back to staring up at the sky.
"Any word?" Chris asked simply.
"No, nothing yet."
"What the fuck could they be doing to her?" Chris said angrily, slamming his hand down on the bench next to him.
"I don't know, I just don't know anymore."
"God, why did I let her go through with this?" Chris said, putting his head in his hands.
"You couldn't have known what Trish would do," Shane told him, putting a comforting hand on his back.
"But still, she's pregnant, I shouldn't have let her come out there, she could've done it over the titantron or something."
"This is Stephanie we're talking about. You can't tell her no because she will charm you until you give in."
"I should've put my foot down with this one."
"She wouldn't have stood for it, she would've done it anyways, regardless of what you said," Shane said, "She stubborn and bull-headed, just like you are. It's what makes you perfect for each other."
"And look where it landed us, at the hospital."
"If I know my sister, and I know my sister, she's not going anywhere, she's too stubborn to let herself go anywhere," Shane reassured him.
"If I could've just stopped Trish," Chris said, wanting to hit his head against a wall at his stupidity.
"Chris, let it go, there's nothing you can do now, but wait."
"Let it go! I could've killed two of the most important things in my life. She could be dying, our baby could be dead!" he said, tears streaming down his face, tears he didn't even realize.
"Chris!" Shane said, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him, "This is NOT your fault! You are not the one who did this to her, you are not the one who tackled her or punched her!"
"I might as well have been, I didn't protect her."
"None of us did.....none of us did."
"I don't know what to do."
"You should come back inside and wait with us, you'll feel better if you have people around, if you have Regan around."
"Oh God, Regan! What if they die, what am I going to tell her?" Chris cried, "She can't lose her mother twice."
"She's not going to lose Stephanie, none of us are, now come back inside," Shane said, standing up.
"I'll be in, in a second," Chris said, wiping his eyes.
"Ok, don't be too long, you don't know when they'll tell us what's going on."
Chris nodded as Shane left him alone again. He wiped off his cheeks, trying to dry them of the tears that had fallen. Crying wasn't going to solve anything, it wouldn't turn back time, it wouldn't make anything better. He stared straight ahead into the darkness of the night. The silence was killing him out here. He closed his eyes painfully, blocking out the sound of Stephanie hitting the ground with a sick thud.
"Please God, don't take her again," Chris whispered, "Just please don't take her from me. And not our baby either."
He got up quietly, forcing himself to go back inside, his steps slow and heavy. He shoved his hands in his pockets, head down as he went back to the waiting room. He walked inside and felt everyone's eyes on him. He couldn't bear to look any of them in the eyes and simply took a seat next to Linda. He felt her wrap him in a hug and he just cried into her shoulder.
"It's ok Chris, shh, it'll be ok," Linda whispered, trying to comfort him, this scene so reminiscent of the last time they lost Stephanie.
He sat there, letting his mother-in-law comfort him, trying to draw strength from somewhere, anywhere. He just couldn't go through this all again. The first time had nearly broken him. He couldn't do it a second time, he couldn't wake up in the morning without her beside him again. It was all too much.
"Are you here with Mrs. Jericho?" a doctor asked, walking into the room.
"Yes, we're her family," Vince said, speaking up.
Chris pulled away from Linda and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He prepared himself for the worst. He mentally pictured the doctor telling him that both his wife and child were dead and they weren't coming back this time. He steeled his nerves, willing himself to look up at the doctor who held his fate in the palm of her hands.
"Well, she's a very lucky woman," she told them, "She'll be just fine."
Chris let out the breath he had been holding and bit his lip in happiness. He wanted to run up to the doctor and kiss her, thanking her for saving his wife, and not letting him be alone again. He just didn't know how the doctor would take it. He couldn't find the words to begin what he wanted to say.
"What happened to her?" Shane asked.
"Well, it was scary there for a while. She fainted because of the blood she had lost from the gash on her head and her broken nose. The EMT's explained she had suffered blunt trauma to her stomach and that caused her to go into labor prematurely while we were clearing up her head. She was unconscious at the time..."
"Are you saying she had the baby?" Chris finally asked, "It's too soon."
"Well, we weren't sure if it was going to happen or not. It was touch and go really. We couldn't give her the usual drugs that we give to women who go into premature labor because she wasn't able to take them, being unconscious, so we gave drugs to her via IV to try and stop her contractions. It's my understanding that she's about 7 months pregnant--"
"Yeah," Chris interrupted.
"So we wanted to try to keep the baby in utero as long as possible," she informed them, "Thankfully, she took to the drugs well and we were able to stop the labor. So she should be able to carry to full term and she and the baby should be just fine. She just needs a lot of bed rest right now."
"Oh thank God," Linda said, taking Vince's hand in relief.
"Can I go see her?" Chris asked, "I'm her husband."
"She's resting comfortably right now," the doctor said, "But I don't see why you couldn't see her."
Chris nodded gratefully before getting up. He got a reassuring squeeze of the hand from Linda and an "I told you so" look from Shane. He walked over to where the doctor was and she motioned for him to follow her. She took him through the doors and he followed her obediently until she arrived at a room.
"Here you go," she smiled kindly.
"I just wanted to thank you," Chris said, "For everything."
"It's my pleasure," she told him, "And as it turns out, we found out the sex of your baby. Would you like to know?"
"Does she know?" he asked.
"No."
"We'll think about it," he said.
"That's fine," she smiled before leaving.
Chris went through the door and saw Stephanie lying there peacefully. He smiled as he saw her face. It wasn't the sickly pale it had been earlier, her cheeks were much more full of color. He looked around her and saw her hooked up to some monitoring machines and saw a machine connected to something under her blanket, most likely her stomach to monitor the baby. He sat down next to her and took her hand, pressing the palm against his cheek before kissing her fingers.
"Hey baby, I'm so happy to know you're ok," he said, though she was asleep, "I'm sorry for everything that happened. If I had just protected you more, this never would've happened and you would be ok and we'd be in our hotel room, celebrating our good fortune at getting rid of Trish."
"Well, where's the champagne to celebrate?" a hoarse whisper came from her mouth.
"Steph!" he exclaimed, standing up so he could look at her face.
"Yeah, it's me," she said, opening her eyes to look up at him, "Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out I'm in the hospital."
"Yeah," he said, brushing her hair back with his hand.
"And what happened to get me stuck here?"
"How much do you remember?"
"Um...you helping me up after Trish hit me," she answered.
"Well, you fainted and we rushed you to the hospital and you had some stitches and a broken nose and then you went into labor--"
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, then lifted her blanket, checking to see if she had a flat tummy or not. She sighed in relief as she still saw her swollen belly, "Oh thank goodness."
"They were able to stop your contractions and the baby is going to be just fine, you can carry it to term," he comforted her.
"Oh, that's good to hear, that stupid bitch," she muttered, "Can't believe she'd do this."
"I know," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead, "I should've been protecting you. It's my fault you're in here in the first place."
"Hey, now where did you get that idea?" she said, gripping his hand tightly.
He looked away in shame, "I should've stopped her, I shouldn't have even let her get near you. I wasn't quick enough to protect you."
"Oh dear God Chris," she said, reaching up to turn his face to her, "You had nothing to do with this, nothing at all. If you did, I would've kicked your ass out of my room, but you weren't the one that put me here."
"I just feel so responsible."
"Well, don't, because you're not. Sweetie, there are going to be times where you can't protect me, that's the cold, hard truth. That doesn't mean you love me any less, or you aren't being the best husband in the world. Don't you think sometimes I hate watching you go out there and get beat on day in and day out, but I know it's going to happen."
"How do you know all the right things to say?"
"I've been with you far too long," she said, giving him a smirk.
He leaned down to kiss her softly as she wrapped her hand around his head, letting her fingers gently rub the back of his neck. He kissed her for a long moment and she could feel their cheeks getting wet with his tears. She pulled away and looked up at him, taking her thumb and erasing the tears from his cheeks.
"Hey, no tears," she said, softly.
"Sorry," he apologized, "I just thought I had lost you again."
"Shh," she whispered, bringing his head down to kiss his forehead before he laid his head on her chest. She played with his hair, soothing his nerves, "I'm not going anywhere, you should know that by now."
"They weren't telling me anything and I was so worried, I can't lose you again Steph, Regan can't lose you either."
"Where's Regan?"
"She's fine, she's laying out in the waiting room with your family and Kurt."
"Ok, well, neither of you are losing me ok, get that through your thick skull."
"Ok," he said, giving a small laugh.
"Good, just making sure you know," she said, playing with his hair.
"They know what sex the baby is," he said, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Really?" she asked, "Did you find out?"
"No, of course not, I mean, we never did with Regan, why start now?"
"You're right, I was just wondering if you could possibly know," she paused, "I didn't like Trish's threat tonight."
"Neither did I," he admitted.
"It scares me."
"Don't worry Steph, I promise you this, she will never hurt you again. As long as I live and breathe, she will never touch you again."