In spite of knowing better, Malfoy followed Wormtail's advice of the day and travelled to Putney to see the wisewitch. Since he didn't knew the exact location, he asked a young wench on the street.

"Tell me, young wench, is this Putney," Malfoy asked.

"That it be, that it be," the wench shrieked.

"'Yes, it is', not 'that it be'. You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me. I'm not a tourist," Malfoy hissed. "I seek information about a wisewitch."

"Ah! The wisewitch! The wisewitch!" the wench shrieked.

"Yes, the wisewitch," Malfoy hissed, losing his temper now.

"Two things, sir, must ye know of the wisewitch," the wench shrieked. "First! She is a witch. And second, she is…"

"Wise?" Malfoy said, utterly bored.

"You do know her then?" The wench asked, her voice suddenly normal.

"Oh no, just a wild flick of a wand and I'll incidentally hex you with one if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?" Malfoy hissed through clenched teeth.

" 'Course. There," the wench said as she pointed at the shabby cottage behind her.

"Thank you, young wench. Here is a purse of gold… which I'm not going to give you," Malfoy sneered and entered the cottage.

"Hail Lucius Malfoy. Breeder of blond and arrogant offspring! Step no nearer. For already I see thy bloody purpose. Thou plottest, Malfoy! Thou would'st be Minister of Magic and torture all Muggleborns," the wisewitch said and started to cackle.

"No, no, no, no. It's far worse than that. I'm in love with my manservant," Malfoy said.

"Oh, well. I'd sleep with him, if I were you," the wisewitch said.

"What?" Malfoy shrieked.

"When I fancy people, I sleep with them. I have to drug them first, of course, being so old and warty," the wisewitch explained with a shrug.

"But what about my position, my social life, my fellow Death Eaters?" Malfoy asked.

"Very well then. Three other paths are open to you, three cunning plans to cure thy ailment," the wisewitch said. "The first is simple. Kill Bob."

"Never!"

"Then try the second. Kill yourself," the wisewitch said.

"And the third?" Malfoy asked.

"The third is to ensure that no one else ever knows. Kill everybody in the whole world," the wisewitch answered and started to cackle again.

"Ah ha," Malfoy said and fled out of the room as it was now rather clear that the wisewitch is quite mad.

Malfoy returned to his mansion and found Tonks in a drawing room.

"Now look here, Bob. I have something to say to you. And I want you to listen very carefully. I have decided that you are to leave my service," Malfoy said.

"Oh, no, master. My father will starve and I'll have to become a… male prostitute and besides… I thought we were friends," Tonks pleaded.

"We are friends, Bob. Of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course. In fact, that's the reason I want you to leave my service and become my live in … chum," Malfoy said with a voice that shook with nervousness. "Now, I want to make it quite clear that I am in no way interested in the contents of your breeches."

"You might be, master, if you knew what I kept in them," Tonks said.

"I flatter myself, Bob, that I know what a wizard keeps in his breeches, thank you very much," Malfoy said.

"But, master, I have a great secret. Prepare to be amazed," Tonks said as she started to take her top off.

"Oh, no. You haven't got one of those awful birthmarks shaped like a bolt of lightning, have you? Or a tattoo saying 'Grab hold of this'?" Malfoy asked.

"No, master," Tonks replied as she kept on stripping her top.

"Well, what can it possibly be?" Malfoy asked.

"This," Tonks answered as she ripped open her bodice.

"Split my infinitives," Malfoy said and fell back in a chair.

Two minutes later, Malfoy had caught his breath and was now chatting with Tonks.

"Well, what was all that Bob stuff about then?" Malfoy asked.

"Because you would have just used me and cast me aside like so many woman before. But now you have had a chance to grow to love me for what I really am," Tonks explained.

"Yes, that's true. And now… I want to marry you… Bob," Malfoy said

"Tonks," Tonks said.

"Then come, kiss me, Tonks," Malfoy said.