Evil From The Past
Author's Note:
I'm trying to loosen up a bit and be more funny. I realise I've been a bit boring of late. It'll get easier after Captain Jack Sparrow comes along, though.
Thanks to mad sam, my first ever reviewer. Thank you oh so ever much! You made my day. I just love reviews – lots of 'em!
Another thing; I have changed the Van Helsing story slightly. Marishka isn't going to die in the village (I need a Full Force of Evil later) and I'm scrapping Carl. Sorry to all the Carl fans, but he gets in the way of the plot. Hope that won't stop you reading –
The Kidnapping of Artemis Fowl
Castle Dracula, Transylvania, 19th century
Foaly was trying to think of a way to get those monsters off his back.
"Um, if you don't mind, I find it kinda hard to concentrate when there are people watching me work." Quite true, by all accounts. Imhotep wasn't buying it, though.
Foaly went back to studying the machine. The lightning idea was intelligent, but very unwieldy and not at all reliable. I'm not supposed to be trying to help! he reminded himself. Pretend, pretend...
Foaly thought of yet another delay tactic. "I'm not sure I can do it myself," he announced finally, turning around to face Dracula and Imhotep. "It's a great invention, seriously, but you need a lot of brainpower to fix something like this. I need some help." Of course he didn't, but anything would do to get himself let off the hook. Although if he had known the repercussions of this unfortunate statement, he wouldn't have even opened his mouth.
Dracula smiled vampirically. (He's a vampire, you needn't mention that, thought Foaly distractedly.) "But of course! You will get all the help you want, so long you complete the machine. Dwergi? You can have the lot."
"No, no. I don't need dumb muscle – manual labour, I mean. I need a genius. A techie to help me fix this thing. But since there aren't any in this century, I'm afraid we'll have to give this project up."
Dracula took two dramatic steps forward. "Give up?" he demanded of the centaur. "I thought you agreed to help?"
"Yes!" gulped the centaur.
"Then don't mention the phrase giving up." He leaned even closer, fangs glinting. "You can have all the brainpower of your modern era that you need. Or is your time machine unable to transport you back to your own time?"
That was when Foaly decided this might be a bad idea.
Foaly obediently paused the scroller. "That one," said Dracula. "Opal Koboi."
Foaly blanched. "Not her. She went insane in prison, apparently. Lost all her technical genius with her sanity." He continued scrolling down.
"Stop." Dracula looked interested this time, more than any of the others. "Who is this? Highest tested intelligence in the whole of Europe? Artemis Fowl."
"Not him!"
Dracula's eyes narrowed. "Not him? You have already dismissed everyone else I have selected. I think we shall keep him. Oh, and that one. Hermione Granger. Not one of your top masterminds, but her profile looks promising. We'll take her too."
Foaly swallowed a lump of dismay. Fowl was a shady character, but he didn't deserve this. And that Mud Girl Granger, she was innocent. If they did manage to capture Artemis and the Mud Girl, Foaly would never forgive himself for making that suggestion of his. Especially since he had no doubts that they would.Dracula held a conference.
Imhotep attended. The Brides did not, as they were busy harassing the nearby village of Vaseria and looking for a certain Anna Valerious they had been told to go after. However, another of Dracula's associates was there too.
Dracula performed introductions. "My good captain, this is Lord Imhotep. Imhotep, meet Captain Barbossa."
Imhotep inclined his head. Barbossa tipped his feathered hat.
"I met the excellent captain a few nights ago. The Devil introduced him to me. Apparently he made the same deal as I did, four hundred years ago, and the Devil thought we might get along."
"See, I got shot by this pirate called Jack Sparrow," explained the captain. "So when I went to Hell, I figured I'd make a covenant with the Devil. Who introduced me to Dracula. And I figured I'd be a vampire, because it'd give me an edge when I face Jack off again for my revenge."
"Ah," said Imhotep, monosyllabically.
"So," said Dracula. "Here's the plan. Imhotep, when the brides come back, you accompany them and Mister Foaly in the Time Shuttle to his modern era. You are to capture these two people." He handed Imhotep a stack of documents containing information about Artemis Fowl and Hermione Granger. Imhotep nodded.
"Captain Barbossa and I will stay behind to work on the defence of the Castle, as I feel th—darlings! What happened?"
The Brides soared through the conference room window, alighting before Dracula. "We couldn't get the girl," sobbed Aleera. "There was a...a...stranger, and he was protecting her, a...and...look at Marishka!"
Marishka, whose wounds were dripping with blood, whimpered.
"Now, now." Dracula embraced her. "You shall recover soon, fear not." He saw Verona and Aleera eyeing him enviously and embraced them too. "I have a new assignment for you, if that will cheer you up."
"Not again!"
"No, no. It'll be fun, I promise. No more strangers, no more defiant princesses. These are children you're kidnapping. You're going with Imhotep and the centaur to the future to capture two new geniuses to repair the machine. It'll be easy, darlings."
The Brides considered. "Very well," spoke Aleera for them, after much discussion.
Dracula smiled. He knew his way with women.Foaly, cursing himself guiltily, typed in the coordinates for Fowl Manor. He was going to regret this, he knew.
"Goodbye, my loves!" called Dracula from outside the Shuttle. "And mind, try to keep your fangs off the captives. I want them alive."
"Anything for you, my lord," replied Verona sweetly, fluttering her eyelids. "Would you like any souvenirs?"
"Only the two I've already requested," said Dracula, winking charmingly.
Foaly, who was handcuffed to the computer desk, winced. He hated all that soppy romantic stuff.
"Farewell!" called Marishka, now healed and beautiful again.
"Farewell!" called Dracula as the doors closed.
Good, thought Foaly as they were sucked into the whirlpool of time once more. At least some peace and quiet, for the time being.Fowl Manor, Ireland, 21st century
Artemis Fowl, having bid Butler good night, closed his bedroom door. Instead of getting into bed, however, he went to lean against the windowsill. The window had an excellent view of the Fowl gardens and the hills beyond, with the full moon like a luminous glass disc rolling among the wraith-like clouds. Somehow, it gave him the feeling that there was something important he couldn't remember. Something to do with – acorns?
No. He was misleading himself. He should have an early night's rest, so as to have full concentration tomorrow when he would transfer 3 million pounds from the Dijon Imperial Bank into his own account.
Artemis turned away to his bed. Still trying to shake off that funny feeling, he pulled back the covers and got in. He turned back to the window, to catch a last glimpse of the moon.
And got the worst shock of his brief life of fourteen years.
"Hel-lo," purred Aleera, hanging upside down in bat-form, in front of the window.
Artemis opened his mouth to scream. In a whoosh of air, Aleera leapt at him and clapped one clawed hand over his mouth, effectively muffling the scream. Then she hoisted him up and hurled him over the windowsill.
Artemis would have screamed again, but the air was knocked out of his lungs. Seconds before he hit the ground, Marishka swooped down and grabbed his leg. Verona flew alongside. "You'd shut that mouth of yours if you know what's good for you," she advised sinisterly.
Aleera launched herself from the windowsill, soaring above the other two. "Let's go!" she called, then cackled with sheer evil joy as she winged towards the cover of the woods.
In no time, Artemis was bound, gagged and huddled in a corner of the Time Shuttle. Foaly stared at him in horror. "Oh, Frond. Artemis? Are you all right?"
Imhotep yanked Foaly back to the computer. "Silence! You will not speak to the other prisoner."
Foaly glowered in forced silence as he stood by the computer (Imhotep had taken the computer chair for his own private use).
Imhotep wheeled the chair away, to where the Brides had arranged a set of cushions so as to serve as some sort of lounge. "Now, we need to make a plan for the kidnap of the girl. Apparently the institution she studies in is highly protected...."
Once Imhotep had stopped paying attention to the centaur's movements, Foaly leaned over, speaking out of the corner of his mouth. "Artemis. It's me, Foaly. Oh, you wouldn't remember, not after the mind-wipe. I'd better explain everything then. I'm from the LEP. The Lower Elements Police. We're fairies. We live underground."
Artemis tried to register all this information as well as his dazed mind could manage. Foaly, the centaur had called himself. He knew that name. Again that weird feeling he had had at the windowsill. LEP. Fairies. Then it hit him. Total recall. With a rush of surprise, Artemis regained his memory and filled the emptiness inside him.
"Foaly! I ... I remember." He glanced around. "Then what is all this about? Did the LEP send them? What happened?"
"Shut up and I'll tell you." Foaly glanced at Imhotep and the Brides, who were absorbed in their discussion. "See. It was like this, I built a time machine, and then I decided ..."
As Foaly told his tale, the wind outside picked up, rattling the Irish oaks. Somewhere far away in England, a bushy-haired girl shut her window against the storm outside and went to bed, dreaming of her wizarding school and her friends there as she fell asleep. If she had known what would be happening to her soon, she wouldn't have been able to sleep a wink.
End of Chapter
Next chapter coming... Pirates of the Adriatic
In which the Black Pearl goes to Transylvania for a holiday cruise, Van Helsing gets annoyed and Captain Jack Sparrow finds Anna very interesting.