So here ya go fourth's chapters up. i'm loving writing this but please gimme reviews, cos when i dont get any i think the stories bad and so don't write more. This is written in the form of a diary entry by Buffy.

Song-Dilemma by Nelly and Kelly Rowland. I do not own this song, or it's lyrics

Dear Diary,

I don't know how they all convinced me to go to The Bronze but they did. Well all except Giles. He said nothing, just sat there in silence. I think he was still shocked that I was here.

We all went to The Bronze. The music was loud; I wasn't really used to the noise.

I felt so alone when everyone went of to dance. It was just Giles and I left at the table.

"This takes getting used to." I said referring to the crowds and the noise.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, I'll deal. At least you're here now." I told him. I was glad to have him back. Life was so much easier when he was here, he always knew the right things to do, the right things to say.

He didn't respond.

I sat there, uncomfortable in the silence, until I was rescued by Dawn.

"Buffy, I love this song, you have to come and dance with me."

I looked at Giles, checking to see if he minded being left alone; he nodded as if to say it was o.k.

I got up and danced with Dawn. The music was fast with a strong beat and being in that crowd, dancing along with the music made me feel so alive.

Guys started to come up to me and dance with me, I danced sexily against them, I wasn't interested but being that close to another human, feeling that sexual emotion, made me feel so alive.

The music ended and when I returned to the table Giles was nowhere to be seen. I was worried; missing people in Sunnydale was not a good sign. My first instinct was to check outside, and my instinct was correct, Giles was outside pacing around.

"Ya know if ya walk in a circle 100 times the boogie man comes." I joked

He didn't look happy and I didn't know why. Usually if Giles was disappointed in me, or upset, or angry I'd know why, but he totally was wigged about something.

"Giles, what's up?" I asked

"Nothing...you run along back inside and carry on dancing with those savages." He said sarcastically

"What you're all bad and moody cos I was dancing.........no wait you're all bad and moody cos I was dancing with some guys."

I guessed he was jealous, though I don't know why. He looked at me and went back inside. I followed him and he sat back at the table. I stared at him waiting for him to talk

"Buffy I don't know what you're trying to achieve by staring at me." He scolded me

I still remained silent, the music beating around me, I was sure my heart was going as fast as the music. Then music changed into a slow R'n'B song.

Everyone began to couple up Anya and Xander, Willow and Tara, even Dawn had found a guy she goes to school with.

The silence between me and Giles was unbearable, and so I just came out with it:

"Giles do you wanna dance?"

My heart began to beat faster, I felt so stupid, I knew he'd say no, but he didn't

"Yes." He said

and that was it.

'No matter what I do, all I think about is you

Even when I'm with my boo, know you know I'm crazy over you

No matter what I do, all I think about is you

Even when I'm with my boo, y'know I'm crazy over you'

I moved close to him, I could smell his cologne

Check it, check it, check it, uhh

I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me

And uhh, she got the hots for me the finest thing my hood done seen

But oh no, oh no, she gotta a man

and a son, doh'ohhh, but that's okay

Cause I, wait for my cue and just listen, play my position

Like a shortstop, pick up e'rything mami hittin

And in no time.. (no time) I..

I plan to make this wah-one mi-i-ne.. and that's for sure

Cause I, I never been the type to, break up a happy home

But uh, there's somethin bout baby girl I just can't leave alone

So tell me ma what's it gonna be? She said

(You don't know what you mean to me)'

and the words seemed so right. Giles had no idea what he meant to me, I'd never told him, never let him know


No matter what I do, all I think about is you

Even when I'm with my boo, know you know I'm crazy over you

No matter what I do, all I think about is you

Even when I'm with my boo, y'know I'm crazy over you

As the woman's voice sung out the chorus, I knew, I knew I loved Giles. Not as a watcher but as a man. I did always think about him. If he's on patrol with me I worry for his safety, when I am home I always think 'I wonder what Giles is doing'


Check it, check it, check it, uhh

I see a lot and you look and I never say a word

I know how niggaz start actin trippin out here about they girls

And there's no way-ayy-hey, Nelly gon' fight over

no day-hey-ame.. as you can see

But I, I like your steez, your style, your whole demeanor

The way you come through and holla and swoop me in his 2-seater

Now that's gangstah-ah-ahhh..

And I got special ways to thank yah-ah-ahhh.. don't you forget it

But uh, it ain't that easy for you to pack and leave him

But uh, you and dirty got ties for different reasons

I respect that and right before I turn to leave, she said

You don't know what you mean to me

And that was it the song was over, as quickly as it had began, and although it had ended I stood there holding onto Giles, he didn't move until Willow came over.

So now I know. Giles means so much to me, I can't do without him. So why? Why is he leaving? Why is he going back to England?

He says I need to think for myself, stand on my own two feet. But I cant, not without him, I already thought this earth was hell, every day my heart aches but now it aches more knowing he will be leaving soon.

Is it too late to tell him how I feel? Too late to show him I care?? Usually if I didn't know the answer to a question I'd ask Giles but this is one question I can't ask him...... I wish mom was here, she'd know exactly what to do.