THE COMING OF THE CROSS-
(Pt 1)
Hey there! My name is Dash St. Pierre I'm a tiger and I'm French Canadian (now how many French Canadian super heroes have you seen. No, Gambit doesn't count. He was Cajun). I've been here helping the Samurai Pizza Cats out for about a year. Let me tell you about how I got here. TO help me with that, here is the narrator:
Thanks Dash (hey and thanks for those fish. (Hey, Any time guy. Just say the word)). But anyway, on with the story (cue ripple dissolve):
It's another beautiful day here in Little Tokyo. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining (Man, where do the writers come up with this stuff), and the Pizza Cats are hard at work in the Pizza Cats pizza parlor.
Francine: SPEEDY! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU...?
Narrator: Uh-oh, sounds like Francine is a little mad
Speedy: Gee, and it took you how long to figure that out?
N: Hey, I'm new here.
S: Hey, who are you?
N: I'm the new narrator.
S: WHY WASN'T I INFORMED OF THIS?
Polly: You shouldn't have slept through the script reading yesterday. Guido had to read your lines.
Guido: Hey, it isn't easy to sound like you.
S: Well excuse me my alarm clock wasn't working!
N: Anyway...
As this argument comes to a close, a young man is standing at the counter. Francine, realizing that he hasn't been helped...
F: WHY HASN'T ANYBODY TAKEN THIS KIDS ORDER? (Starts fuming)
Young Man: Its ok, miss. I'm the patient type
(Polly rushes out)
P: May I take your order?
YM: Oh I don't want anything. I actually came to inquire about a job
F: A job? (Grabs his hand and proceeds to drag him toward her office) Well, right this way young man.
YM (gives Polly this funny look): Ok...
Well, in the interest of time (and commercial revenue), we wont show you what all was said in the interview. We'll pick the story back up about an hour later...
F: Guys, meet Dash St. Pierre, he is going to be working with us as a delivery runner.
Dash St. Pierre: Nice to meet all of you. I told Francine all about how I got to Little Tokyo. It's a very sad story.
F: Yes, I cried for a good 5 minutes after he was finished (Now anyone who knows Francine knows she ain't the emotional type, so that is saying something).
D: Well unfortunately the producers wont let me tell the story here. They are saving it for a spin-off series!
S: UNBELIEVABLE! It's only his first episode, and they already are giving him a spin-off series.
D: Hey, just bring that up at the next staff meeting.
Having gotten to know each other a little bit, the cats turned to the fact that the lunch rush was coming, and there were deliveries to be made.
F (answering phone): Samurai Pizza Cats, your pizza delivered fresh and hot in 10 minutes or it's free. (Phone chatter) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right. Ok. It's on its way. Hey Dash, you got your first delivery. Take this sausage, anchovy, and liver special to this address.
D: You got it Francine. (Races out the door)
F: Speedy, you think that you could give him...
D (busts through door): I'm back.
F (turns with a shocked look): ALREADY???
D: Yeah.
S: Man, GB isn't that fast, and he can fly! Where is GB anyway?
G: Oh, he and Carla ran off on a tour of Europe. They wont be back for a month or two.
(Lucille walks in)
Lucille: Hello! Oh and who's this?
P: Lucille, this is Dash St. Pierre. He's the new delivery carrier.
D: A pleasure to meet you. (Kisses her hand)
Lucille: (blushes. Her top opens up)
F, S, P & G (unison): Uh-oh. (Run away)
BOOM!
D (coughing up smoke): Man, what a woman! (Faints)
As you could probably tell, Dash learned about Lucille, and her "explosive" personality (Man, the writers need to come up with more inventive jokes). Anyway. Soon the telephone rings...
(Phone rings)
F: Pizza Cats Pizza, if your pizza isn't delivered within 30 minutes, your next one's free, and the narrator cant tell any bad jokes for the remainder of the episode!
N: Hey!
F: Oh, hey Big Al. Ninja crows in the town square, and a Pineapple, sausage, and anchovy special. Dash, you deliver this pizza to this address. It's the royal palace.
D (thinking): Wow, my first week and I'm delivering to the big clientele.
F: The rest of you, you know the drill...
F: (over loudspeaker): Hello again people, it's about that time, but since the writers took their lunch break, I don't have a rhyme (fires off S, P, and G)
Junior: Mama, why don't the Pizza Cats just fly in airplanes wherever they are going?
Mama-san: Its not in the show's budget, dear.
D: Hey Francine, I'm back! (Hmm that's odd no one is around. I better check this out. Proceeds to investigate. He hears Francine talking and follows the voice. He overhears her talking to Big Al)
D (thinking): Wow! I'm working with the Samurai Pizza Cats! I can't tell my family about it or else they may want to know about my powers too.
(Scene cuts to the Pizza Cats flying through the air)
S: Hey guys, do you think that we'll ever get shot out by Francine and not smash into something?
G (sees they are about to hit a house): Not likely. (They smash into house)
S: Hey, where are the ninja crows?
Ninja Crow: We decided to skip the usual battle scene where you kick our butts and go straight to the giant robot!
S: Drat, and I had a really cool intro for this episode... (As he finishes saying this, a large shadow looms over them and Speedy looks up, just in time to see a large foot coming down. He and the others dive out of the way)
S: Whew! That was close. (A giant fist then flattens him)
G: I got it Speedy. (Fires a shot from the Sunspot Umbrella. The robot is damaged, but recovers and knocks him into a house)
P: GUYS! (A giant laser blasts her)
S:(having recovered slightly) we need the Rescue Team for this one... (Rings his cellular cat bell)
F: Hey Speedy, The B Team is on vacation so your going to have to do the best you can.
S: FRANCINE! (A fist again smashes him)
D (Thinking): Oh man, this thing is plastering them. I've got to help (runs outside) Good thing I charged the solar battery in my umbrella with my sun lamp overnight. (extends umbrella) Well, here goes....
BY THER POWER OF LIGHT!!!
(The chorus to "Alive" by P.O.D. plays as Dash transforms)
N: Dash is then bathed in light. The light then shatters into a special effects budget busting transformation sequence.
D: I AM THE BEARER OF THE CROSS! (Strikes pose)
Now I have to go help the others. (Races off)
To Be Continued...