Chapter 2: Taking Flight
"But that's impossible!" Bastila exclaimed. "You can't remember everything. The damage was too severe. The Jedi council said you would never remember. They didn't even think you would remember the Star Maps. You almost weren't kept alive because they were convinced there was nothing left."
"Well the council can be wrong sometimes Bastila," Carian stated simply. "I remember the first day I saw you in Taris. I remember what you said to Brejik, "Never underestimate the power of a Jedi mind. Well it appears the council, you, even I have done that." Carian continued. "Look at Revan's mind, after all that has been done. The memories are intact, they are still present. I think even some of her old powers are coming back. It's so strange. I know how easy it would be to choke you with but a thought, but I think it would cost me so much of the Force to do so having followed the light for so long."
Carth was still staring at her in disbelief. "Did I hear you right? You remember being the Dark Lord? Being on the Star Forge?" he was shaking his head and coming towards her. Carian instinctively backed up until her back was against the wall. She glanced down and saw her fallen robes and pulled them on. "Are you sure you remember everything? You're not just having an intense flash or something?"
Carian glared at Carth, "No, I'm not having an intense flashback. It's not a nightmare; I don't need to be tucked in. I am remembering these things and don't patronize me again."
Bastila tried to be helpful, "Carth didn't mean anything by it Carian. He just hasn't seen what we've seen or felt what we've felt. You have to be prepared for some detractors, especially among the High Council. They dislike being wrong and when you see them in the morning and tell them the events of tonight, they will challenge it. They have always maintained that there was no way that Revan's memories would ever re-emerge or that Carian would regain any of Revan's powers. They will resent you showing them their error on both parts," Bastila informed her.
"Then I won't inform them tomorrow morning Bastila," Carian declared with a finality that was making Bastila nervous.
"Well, you certainly can't disturb a master at rest now, you can't intend that!" Bastila half-shrieked, horrified at the thought of disturbing a member of the Jedi High Council as they slept.
Carian moved purposefully about the room, gathering her lightsaber and grabbing the small bag that held her few things. She reflected to herself that living out of a carrier had its advantages. "I have no intention of waking any member of the Jedi High Council or anyone else just now, Bastila. I'm leaving. I need some time to sort out my emotions and I'm not going to get that done overnight," Carian explained calmly.
"But…but, you need proper guidance and, and training to master your emotions and while I may not be…" Bastila began.
"Bastila just stop. Stop. I know you mean well and I imagine you're worried about me and worried about yourself considering that our bond has come back just when we thought we were free of it. I intend to spend some time getting the proper guidance and I will submit myself to the will of the Jedi Council after I return," Carian stated flatly.
"Return? You're going to run off? Just like she did?" Bastila flashed at her, crossing the room to catch her arm. "Oh how fascinating. Revan's memories return and the first thing you do is get as far away from the Jedi Council as quickly as you can. It does look rather suspect, Carian. Or should I call you Revan now?" Bastila's gaze held hers for a long moment, looking searchingly at the woman who was in so many ways a mystery to Bastila, even with a bond linking their minds.
Carian returned the look calmly, her eyes never leaving Bastila's she reached down and removed Bastila's hand from her arm and turned to look at Carth who had been silent during this heated exchange. He was watching the two Jedi intently, as though wondering if battle were about to break out and if he should take sides or look for cover.
"Carth, is your ship still available? Can we leave immediately?" Carian asked him.
"Are you sure you want to leave now? What about the others? Don't you want to say anything to them?" Carth asked her, looking troubled.
"Carth if I go the Hawk to talk to them, it will be as bad as going to the Council, well almost as bad. You wanted me to leave anyway for a little while so now is the perfect time. Please Carth, get me out of here, I just need to process this for a little while," Carian pleaded. She couldn't go and face everyone on the Ebon Hawk right now. She was surprised that Jolee and Juhani weren't breaking down her door though, likely they had become accustomed to the waves of misery emanating from her through the Force that they were dismissing this a particularly bad night and assumed that it was being dealt with. Which was fine, it was being dealt with. The last thing she needed were more Jedi telling her to speak to the Council. She'd speak to the Council soon enough. A wait of a few days or a week wouldn't do any harm.
Carth nodded and pulled her away from Bastila and into his arms. She laid her cheek against his strong chest and fought the urge to break down in his arms. There would be time for that later. Carian felt Carth stroking her hair and murmuring to her.
"Listen beautiful, I'm going to contact Dustil and just let him know we're on our way. That will give you a few minutes more alone with Bastila, try and get her to understand. I think she thinks you and I are just going off on some romantic trip, maybe she'll ease up if she knows how much you're hurting," Carth whispered softly in her ear.
"I'll be back and then we'll go. No matter what she says," Carth murmured to her.
He gave her one last reassuring squeeze and kissed the top of her head and left the small room. He heard the women's voices rise once more as the door closed behind him. Carth shook his head and laughed softly to himself as he hurried to the Hutt's Hovel to announce their impending departure.
"Bastila just tell me one thing, even without our link you can tell what side of the Force I'm serving. You can tell what side of the Force any Jedi is serving correct?" Carian asked her friend as she went to make the bed and tidy up the quarters a little bit.
Bastila watched her, not sure where Carian was going with this question. Revan's memories might have returned and Carian might be acting irrationally but Carian had never stopped appearing as anything other than a devoted servant of the Light Side of the Force. Bastila wished she could achieve that level of devotion sometime but realized that jealousy would accomplish little except begin to lead her back down towards the Dark Side, a place she had visited once and had no wish to return to.
"Well of course you're a servant of the Light Carian, that hasn't changed. Anyone Force Sensitive who comes within a parsec of you is going to feel the emotions surging away within you but you are most assuredly still a servant of the Light," Bastila stated matter-of-factly. She was stunned at the look of relief that crossed Carian's face.
"I-I just don't want to become her. I might remember being her now. I didn't before and I don't know how I can now but now I understand her and I understand how she fell and I can even feel some sympathy for that but the price of the Darkness is too high Bastila. Every time I remember something of Revan's as she was the Dark Lord, there always seems to be this emptiness within her. I don't think she was happy or at peace. It seems like it was a constant drive for power and avoiding betrayal. It just looks so empty and pointless," Carian was moving about the small quarters as she spoke. She avoided looking at Bastila, both women knowing that Bastila's own return from the Dark Side was just so recent and this was just such a delicate subject. "Bastila, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about this with you right now. I'm going to leave soon and I'll come back and speak to the Council and Jolee and Juhani and everyone on the Ebon Hawk and do whatever the Council feels needs to be done. Please just give me this time Bastila, please," she beseeched Bastila.
Bastila sighed, "Oh very well, go do whatever it is you're going to do with Carth." Carian opened her mouth to speak. "No, I really do not wish to know and don't tell me, I have no need to know how you're going to find your peace. Just keep me out of it and I do expect to see you back here. Oh, I don't relish telling Zaalbar and Mission that you've left," the young Jedi sighed resignedly.
"So tell them you couldn't stop me," Carian said. "It's the truth. I know they're all going to complain but I need this. I really do. Thank you for understanding Bastila." The two women hugged and she heard Bastila's voice in her mind.
'The bed is rather small. I can certainly see why you'd want to …'
'Bastila!! I thought you were above such base thoughts. Honestly!'
"Goodbye Carian. Safe travels and May the Force be with you," Bastila grinned mischievously at her as she left.
"Ready to go beautiful?" Carth's voice came from the doorway. "You and Bastila didn't kill each other I see and she even wished you well. I don't know what you said and I don't care. Let's go before she changes her mind and wakes up the Council." Carth grabbed her carrier from its spot by the door and slipped an arm around her waist and he led her to his ship.
"Are you sure I shouldn't say something to the gang on the Hawk? I barely got them to let me off there after abandoning them for weeks," Carian worried aloud as they made their way from the enclave.
"Well its up to you, but I think its going to raise a lot of questions right now and maybe you should just take the time like you told Bastila and then explain it all to everyone when you get back. Bastila can tell them where you've gone in the morning. I'm sure she will. Don't worry, its going to be fine," Carth smiled down at her reassuringly and squeezed her tightly against him for a moment. They stopped, and he took her into his arms and kissed her, holding her close.
Carian wondered sometimes if Carth wasn't just a little Force-Sensitive. It was amazing how he always seemed to know exactly when she needed his touch the most.
"You're right, there will be a lot of questions and I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that right now. I'm surprised you don't have more questions actually, Carth," Carian said, eyeing him speculatively.
Carth flushed and replied "Well I do have questions naturally, but I'm sure you'll tell me what you can when you're ready to talk about it. You were pretty upset back there in your quarters, I didn't want to pressure you or upset you."
"Thank you. I will talk to you about all of this. I'm just not sure what to say, or even where to begin. It's not like this is my favourite subject after all," Carian halted mid-step. "Is this your ship? Its not very big and it doesn't look like a Republic ship."
The Hutt's Hovel appeared to be a smaller, cheaper version of the Ebon Hawk. It looked like a ship made for smuggling. At a rough estimate, Carian guessed that the ship would sleep four when crowded. Hutt's Hovel seemed designed to slip past sensor nets and outrun bigger, slower ships that would try to take its unauthorized cargo.
"Ah well, she's not a Republic ship. She's mine. Don't knock her, I put out a lot of credits for this baby," Carth explained defensively. "The Republic needs all their ships in their continued efforts against the Sith and don't want me taking one of their ships to Telos just to see Dustil. Besides, she flies and she gets me to Telos and back to you and that's all that matters to me," Carth explained leading Carian up the boarding ramp.
Carian burst out laughing when she saw the nameplate mounted just inside in the main hold of the ship. "Hutt's Hovel?!?" she asked between snickers. "Was that your idea or have you not changed her name yet?" Carian asked giggling.
Carth turned a frosty glare her way, making her dissolve into full scale giggles. "You don't like my ship you can catch a transport to Telos, lady," he griped at her half-serious.
Snickering, Carian followed him to the cockpit and admired the compact and efficient use of space. She was glad there was a co-pilot's seat or she would feel like she was crowding Carth if she joined him up her for the journey to Telos.
"All right, all right, I'll behave Republic. Just get us out of here before I change my mind and steal the Ebon Hawk with our friends in it and get us to Telos that way, with a few unscheduled stops on the way of course," she grinned impishly at him.
Carth winced at her use of Canderous' name for him and nodded as he set about preparing to get the ship in the air. "Hey gorgeous, you can stash your stuff in one of the quarters if you like and there's some herbal drinks in the mess if you want something to calm your nerves."
Seeing that Carth would be preoccupied until the Hovel was in hyperspace, Carian wandered the ship for a little while. There was precious little to explore and by the time she had returned from examining the quarters and freshening up, the ship had made the jump into hyperspace.
Carian dropped into the co-pilot's seat and gazed around the small cockpit. It was cramped and she was glad she didn't have to fly this ship as often as Carth did. She wondered how he could stand being in this confined area for so long time and time again.
She turned to look at him, and found Carth gazing at her with a thoughtful frown.
Carian squirmed uncomfortably and gazed unseeingly at the stars racing by, "Ah, Carth, about what I said in the enclave, about remembering Telos, I, ah, I didn't want to bring up more painful memories for you but I felt I needed to say…" she trailed off. Carth wasn't looking at her but staring at the controls and his lips had thinned into a tight line.
"Stop. Just stop. I don't want to talk about that with you. You've said enough. You've said quite enough, just don't" Carth spoke softly, barely disguising his fury. "You don't know what its cost me, what it's still costing me, just …damn you." Carth stormed out of the cockpit leaving a bewildered Carian gazing after him.
"Well I wanted him to yell at me, I just didn't know it would hurt me so much," Carian whispered to the empty room. "I wonder if he's done or if he has more on his mind. He may as well get all the yelling done before we get to Telos because I don't think I can handle two angry Onasi men. I need someone on my side, even if I don't deserve it," she commented dryly. Carian didn't move though, she curled up in the uncomfortable chair, bringing her knees up to her chin and rested her cheek on her knees and reflected that this cockpit was not made for a woman of any species with all the angles and flat surfaces and no curves anywhere. "Carth I'm sorry. I wish more than you know that I was never Revan. I wish I was just Carian and that our lives were simple," she murmured into the semi-darkness.
She sat staring into the darkness for what seemed like an eternity. She jumped, startled, when she heard movement behind her. Carth froze, holding two steaming cups in his hands. "Careful, you'll make me drop this and we'll get burned," he warned softly.
Carth handed her one of the steaming brews. It was one of the herbal brews he had mentioned earlier, something meant to soothe and calm. The fragrant steam wafted to her face and she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. When Carian opened them again, Carth was sitting on the arm of the chair she occupied. "I didn't mean to react like that. I thought I had put it behind me, Telos, that is, and having you bring it up again tonight, it just opened up all the old wounds. I hope you understand." Carth smiled sheepishly down at her and set his cup down out of reach so that he could lean in and kiss the top of her head.
Carian smiled up at him, relieved to have him break the tension. She had been dreading going to find him for she hadn't known what to say. She took a sip of her brew and was certain that the strain of the day was already easing away as she began to relax. She took a few more sips and couldn't help but ask "Are you sure that you don't have more to say to me? I'd hate to be caught by surprise, especially around Dustil."
Carth shook his head and returned to the pilot's seat, checking the instruments to ensure that they were still on course and on time. They sat in awkward silence for a while drinking the herbal infusions. Carth seemed to have nothing further to say and Carian was reluctant to say anything that would create worse strain between them. Carian finally settled on the time-honoured question of all travellers, "How much longer until we get there?"
Carth checked his instruments and said quietly, "About one hour, just relax, it won't be long now." He shook his head and gazed at her sadly for a moment before returning his stare to the instrument panel before him. Carian eyed him uncertainly him for a moment, then decided that he must still be upset about Telos and the events of the night. Carian took Carth's advice and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the uncomfortable seat back, trying to chase away memories of being Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith with her more recent memories of being Carian, Jedi Guardian of the Order.
She must have dozed for a while for suddenly she felt the familiar jolt of a ship coming out of hyperspace. Blearily she opened her eyes, expecting to see a planet looming in view before her. Instead she saw only empty space and heard Carth speaking into the comm. system but couldn't hear the other side of the conversation.
"Yes sir, we've just dropped from hyperspace now. No, I think she's pretty out of it. Understood. I expect to rendezvous with your ships in moments. No, I don't anticipate any problems from her. Understood. Hutt's Hovel out."
Carian dropped her gaze to the readouts in front of her, certain that it would indicate Telos somewhere nearby. It didn't. She was in a sector of space that had been under Sith control for sometime. Surely Carth had made a mistake; they had to get out of here. She started to move to make the adjustments to the navigation system but she felt so heavy, so wrong, she couldn't even lift her hand to the controls to punch in the correct coordinates. She couldn't even call on her Force Cure power, she felt so weak and tired. Something was very wrong. She felt her chair being turned around away from the controls and she was looking at Carth. He knew she was awake then. Why didn't he get them out of here? What was going on? "Carth…what…" she trailed off, her throat felt raw and her voice was little more than a whisper. Surely Carth would explain this madness.
Carth crouched down so that his face was level with hers. "You really should rest more you know. You can't even call on the Force, you're so tired." He reached out and caressed her cheek with one hand. He looked at her sadly for a long moment. "You don't know, even now, what's going on do you? Ah, Carian, or should I say Revan? It amazes me how slow you can be."
Carian watched him, horror dawning on her like ice moving through her veins. "Carth, please, what's going on?" she rasped, struggling to get to her feet. He chuckled at her efforts and lightly pushed her back into the chair. "Where's Telos? Why aren't we near Telos? What happened? Why am I so weak?" the questions came out of her in a grating whisper.
"Telos, yes, it somehow always comes back to Telos between us doesn't it?" Carth answered her standing up, leaning back against the bulkhead in the cockpit. "I thought I lost everything in Telos, my wife was dead, and my son was gone. It was all over. I wanted to die myself." His gaze turned inwards, remembering. "I told you that Saul Karath asked me to join the Sith and that we argued and I didn't see him again. What I left out was that after the attack on Telos, I went to find him. I had ways of tracking him down. I very nearly killed him then but something he said to me made me think."
Carian was staring at Carth in horror, "No, Carth, no, please tell me you didn't." she whispered, but he didn't hear her.
"Saul told me that the Republic had cost me everything. My wife. My son. How much more did I have to give to a cause that was doomed to fail? To a cause that was destroying my life? Did I have to give the Republic my heart and soul too? Not that there was anything left of it. My heart died on Telos with my wife and my soul, well, I didn't know if I had a soul anymore. So, I accepted Saul Karath's offer and joined the Sith, to work undercover for them as the loyal, tragic, Republic pilot." Carth's detached, unfamiliar gaze met hers and he laughed then, a laugh she didn't know. It was cold, without humour, and a part of her realized Revan would have liked this Carth, but Carian's heart was shattering with each word he spoke.
"It turned out they needed me to infiltrate a Republic mission as soon as possible. Word had reached the Sith about Bastila's Battle Meditation and it became my mission to get her captured by the Sith so she could be turned. In the course of planning the attack I learned of you, and Bastila's interest in you. I wasn't able to determine why she was so insistent on having you nearby, she wouldn't reveal that to anyone, no matter how much I had her trusting me, but clearly you were important to her. So, if you were important to Bastila Shan, you were important to the Sith, and we had to find out why." Carth explained, seemingly not at all remorseful at having betrayed everything he had ever professed was important to him.
"Then why the attack on the Endar Spire? Bastila could have been killed. I was nearly killed getting to the escape pods. If Trask hadn't sacrificed himself to Darth Bandon, I would have been killed. Why the attack?" Carian questioned incredulous.
Carth chuckled at her. "Ah Trask, I forgot about that. I sent him to make sure you got to me and I sent Darth Bandon to ensure that the job was being done and it all went off wonderfully." He grinned maliciously at her.
Carian tried drawing on her Force Powers again, but she was still too weak. Whatever Carth had brewed for her, it was clearly designed to incapacitate a Jedi. "But Trask died because of Darth Bandon, he…" she trailed off, bewildered at the laughter coming from the pilot.
"No, no, my dear naïve little Jedi. The confrontation between Trask and Darth Bandon was merely a show for your benefit, after all, did you see the killing blow or were the doors just conveniently locked to prevent you from dying a supposedly meaningless death?" Carian opened her mouth to protest and closed it again as she realized Carth was right. She had never seen Trask fall, or even waited long enough to hear sounds of battle from behind the door. She had thrown herself at it once but remembering Trask's bravery in the face of the imposing looking Dark Jedi, she had decided to honour his sacrifice and get to the escape pods, with Carth's help, she remembered bitterly.
"And I supposed you planned that I would be hurt in the crash to Taris?" she asked Carth resentfully. "After all, you told me I was unconscious for almost two days after…" she stopped speaking, realizing what a fool she must sound like. She had believed everything he had said, without question. Oh, certainly at first, upon awakening, she had asked him a few questions and when she had shown a little token resistance to their working together, he had dismissed her concerns as foolish. The irony of it was she had trusted him from the beginning; she had never seriously entertained the notion of attempting to explore Taris without the more experienced pilot's help.
"Of course I didn't plan for you to be hurt in Taris," he answered her patiently. "It fit in rather nicely though, while you were unconscious I had time to communicate with the Sith and find out more about Taris and Bastila's situation." Carth smirked at her, "I have to admit that I was rather surprised at how quickly you were able to find her without any hints from me. You had us scouring the city and within days we had acquired allies that I wouldn't have found without you. I let you do the talking and because you never dreamed that I wasn't a Republic soldier, you believed everything you told everyone and they were able to believe you. Really it was barely even lies, just a few key details left out. Details that I imagine you are finding rather important right now," Carth chuckled at his own cleverness at deceiving the young Jedi and her allies.
Carian shook her head, "I refuse to believe that you could be this deceitful, this cruel. You got so angry with me when I asked you things about your family. You were genuinely in pain, I'm sure of it. I won't believe those were all lies. They can't be." She was so tired, whatever Carth had drugged her with was not going away but she couldn't believe the entire time they had spent together had been based on lies. There must have been some real feelings. Or had Carth died on Telos along with his wife and this stranger had taken his place? She closed her eyes momentarily, she would not cry in front of this man, whoever he was.
"Of course I got angry with you when you asked those things. They were private, personal memories of a time I'd rather forget," Carth said sourly. "Those reactions were genuine, and I thought that you weren't going to talk to me anymore after I yelled at you the first couple of times so I had to try to apologize, I needed you to talk to me. It was important that you trust me," he told her.
"So you really did have a wife that died on Telos?" she asked softly.
"Of course I did, not every word was a lie," Carth knelt down again and reached to touch her face. She flinched away and Carth saw her lips moving and recognized the first line of the Jedi Code. There is no emotion, there is peace. He smiled to himself and stood up; she didn't look peaceful to him. Her precious code wouldn't save her from what was in store for her.
"Why did they attack Taris then? You had Bastila and me, it was just a matter of time before you could have betrayed us then," Carian questioned wearily.
"Darth Malak assumed I had failed in my mission. I hadn't been able to communicate to Karath or any other Sith while with you on Taris so I knew my time was running out to get off the planet. Once the Sith attacked, I knew my time had run out and adjusted my plans. Bastila had decreed you were Force Sensitive, so I would bide my time and wait. I would also be able to give the location of the Jedi enclave to the Sith. They had been searching for Dantooine's location for sometime."
"Oh Carth no, why would you betray them like that?" Carian breathed, heartsick and horrified. She already knew the answer. It had been revenge, a terrible revenge.
"The Jedi Order refused to send help when the Mandalorians were attacking. It took you and Malak to stop them. And as you should now remember, you took advantage of the Republic's subsequent weakness to attack. If the Jedi had helped defeat the Mandalorians, the Republic might not have been so weak and Telos might not have been destroyed. Why shouldn't I let that useless Order meet the same fate as Telos?" Carth demanded angrily, glowering down at her.
"Oh Carth, so once again you bring it back to me, to Revan. That's what this has all been about isn't it?" Carian asked softly, sadly. She wanted to stand, to throw herself at Carth, to pound her fists into his chest and rage at him. The drug continued to affect her and she was kept seated and unable to draw on her Force Powers.
"Oh it certainly did become about you," Carth answered calmly. "After you and Bastila had your secret meeting with the Council, I finally managed to drag out of you that we were on a search for Star Maps. I was concerned with your sudden secretiveness. I thought you might have sensed the true nature of my mission but you continued to be unable to read me or perhaps it never occurred to you to try to probe me more deeply," he continued.
Carian felt like a fool. Whenever she had directed any of her thoughts at Carth, she had felt attraction coming from him and curiosity but no, it had never occurred to her to probe him more deeply. Somehow, that had seemed like a violation of trust somehow. Oh, what a trusting fool she was. How easily he had manipulated her, found out about the Star Maps and her bond with Bastila just by letting her know how frustrated he was to be left out of things, and she had wanted to include him. Could she be any more idiotic?
"So I remained by your side and acted the part of loyal Republic soldier. I pretended to be your conscience at first but it soon became clear that you were following the light and didn't need my guidance in that area," Carth said derisively. "I still spouted the ideals on occasion and somehow I think it endeared me to you even more. Imagine my surprise when I realized you were attracted to me." Carth grinned roguishly at her. She almost recognized the smile except for the mockery in it. "Mission told me, if you can believe that. She asked if I was ever planning to make a move or just going to sit there like a Hutt watching a swoop race," The comm. system chirped and Carth crossed to the pilot's seat to reply. Carian heard something being said over the comm. channel but was too tired to make it out. "Understood sir. The situation hasn't changed here sir. She's under control. We'll wait for further contact then sir. Hutt's Hovel out."
Carth turned back towards her, seeing Carian trying to rise again. He snickered and sauntered over to the co-pilots chair and scooped her up in his arms, ignoring her feeble struggles and carried her back to the quarters she had seen earlier. "We have to get these silly ideas of escape out of your head. That drug won't be wearing off anytime soon so just relax and rest. You'll need it," he laid her on the bed and propped a pillow behind her head.
Carian's head was swimming from the activity and movement. She thought she might pass out when it finally all stopped so she breathed deeply and slowly, seeing colours swim and float before her eyes.
Sitting at the foot of the bed, Carth watched her intently. Clearly Carian was still feeling the effects of the drug. She kept looking at him like she didn't recognize him anymore, well, that might be for the best. After all, any attachments could only serve to hurt her where she was going.
"It would seem you have been granted a short reprieve. There has been a slight delay on the part of the ship due to rendezvous with us," Carth stood up and hit a few controls on a panel in the room. He had patched the comm. system through to this room. It had been a smuggler's ship after all, and even smugglers sleep sometimes. "Don't worry though; you won't have gotten rid of what's coursing through your system by the time you're on board that ship. So you won't be offering any resistance, to me or to the Sith," Carth grinned as her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. Got your attention now eh beautiful? the pilot thought to himself.
"Why would you go through all this? The Leviathan? Killing Saul Karath. The Star Forge's Destruction? I don't understand," Carian asked desperately. She had given up trying to rise and she was feeling even worse after that little excursion from the cockpit to the crew quarters.
Carth had sat down at the foot of her bed again and was rewarded with a glare from the young Jedi. He ignored her glacial look and replied, "Thanks to Saul Karath, much was explained to me. I began to have my suspicions on Kashyyyk and informed him of the computer's reaction to you. Saul, naturally, didn't see the need to inform me just then of who I was with. I think he was waiting, as I would wait later, to see who would prove the stronger and what direction you would take once you knew your true identity," Carth remarked.
"But Saul Karath tortured you, treated you as one of the enemy," she reminded Carth desperately.
"Oh I know," Carth answered, scowling. "Apparently Karath had inklings of my ambitions and when he had learned of your affection for me, he used that to his advantage Only you and Bastila were supposed to be truly tortured, I was only supposed to be howl if you actually didn't cooperate. I was rather surprised you didn't cooperate but we underestimated your strength and I repaid Karath on the bridge of his ship. I had a debt to settle with Karath anyways, I knew the role he had played in the destruction of Telos, and though I would work for him, I could never forgive him. It was only on the bridge, as he lay dying, that he told me your true identity. He told me that you were actually the Dark Lord Revan, who had helped bring about the destruction of Telos, the woman who had cost me everything in my life. Everything I had ever valued was gone, thanks to Revan, thanks to you." Carth had moved closer and his face was inches from her own. Once Carian would have moved to kiss him, to kiss away his pain, now all she could do was try to back up, away from him as she felt tears slip unbidden down her cheeks.
"So if you were wondering if my reaction on the Ebon Hawk after learning you were Revan was genuine, it was," Carth said harshly. Carian closed her eyes, trying to shut him out, but Carth continued on relentlessly. "I wanted to take you to the Sith right then and never think of you again, just let them deal with you however they saw fit. I did have a chance however to think about your situation and realized that as a mere Jedi who only had flashes of Revan, you were still rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things. If you were having flashes though, who was to say that you might not get all your memories back one day? Wouldn't that be fascinating now that I had nothing left to lose and the Republic and the Jedi Order had sacrificed so much, even lost Bastila in the quest for the Star Maps. So I decided to bide my time and see who would emerge the victor in a final confrontation between you and Malak." Carian found it so hard to accept that this man had professed to love her on the Rakatan planet and now was willing to throw her life away utterly.
Carth gazed at her speculatively, "I always did think you were very skilled and that you might give Malak a run for his money. When I learned you were Revan it made so much more sense. The master was coming back to defeat her old apprentice. I wanted you to defeat Malak and I intended to help you become strong enough to do that." Carth finally backed off and resumed his position at the foot of the bed where he studied her.
Carian looked at him questioningly," But why would you continue to encourage me to follow the Light Side Carth? I don't understand. Your logic seems…confused." Carian stated dryly.
"Well I did consider encouraging you to reclaim your true identity but I suspected you wouldn't be as strong as you needed to be in order to defeat Malak. I have seen Dark Jedi immediately after they have changed allegiances, if you will, and they seem to have difficulty drawing Force Powers from either the Dark Side or Light Side of the Force immediately after turning to the Dark Side. So, while Malak was a worthy leader, you were just so much prettier than he was and I wanted you to be the leader, I knew you would be a better leader than Malak ever could." Carth explained.
"But you hate Revan. You've told me that enough tonight. Why would you want Revan in charge of anything? Why not kill her or me or whatever?" Carian asked desperately. If the Sith had plans to try to turn her to the Dark Side, being killed by Carth would be better than whatever the Sith had in mind.
"I hate the Republic and the Jedi more. When you were a Jedi defeating the Mandalorians, you were brave and brilliant and you took action when the Order wouldn't lift a finger to help the Republic. You and Malak returned later on from finding your Star Maps we presume and laid waste to the Republic because they were weakened from fighting the Mandalorians and easy to defeat. The Republic and the Jedi make choices that destroy people's lives and call it the greater good. You seize opportunities and aren't afraid to call them what they are, quests for power," Carth replied passionately.
"Yes, I can't deny that Revan did all that and much more. It was Revan though and while her memories have returned it doesn't mean that her personality has come back, that all that needs doing is flip a switch and Revan the Dark Lord will return and thank you for liberating her," Carian said slowly.
"Oh yes, the old song and dance about how you're Carian now, you're not Revan," Carth scoffed. "Well my dear, its not my job to turn you to the Dark Side, to seduce you to that power, although I can't say that idea doesn't appeal to me," Carth continued, winking at her.
Carian flinched at his look and changing the subject asked "So what happens now? You give me to the Sith and let them do whatever they think is necessary to revive Revan in me and you'll go on your way continuing to betray the Republic and the Jedi?"
Carth shifted uneasily and said slowly, "Once I get word that they're ready, we rendezvous with the ship that I'm to dock on and then yes, the Sith will take you and…and…I don't know what happens to you then."
"I do, it won't happen right away Carth but it will happen once they realize that Revan won't be coming back. After a lot of torture, drugs and I can't even begin to imagine what else, they'll kill me. It's very simple. And if they don't, I'll find a way to do it myself," Carian replied coolly.
"You could let them bring back Revan you know, it wouldn't be as horrible as you seem to think," Carth insisted.
Carian's head was spinning. Whatever Carth had used to drug her, it was strong and she was fighting to stay conscious. She couldn't believe that the Republic soldier who had saved her life repeatedly was now betraying her to the Sith, sentencing her to die, no matter how he might try to avoid that truth.
"Just shut up, Carth. Just shut up and go away. I don't know you and I don't want to know you. Leave me alone. I'm sure you or someone will get me when the time comes," she sighed.
Carth moved up on the bed and rolled her over on her stomach, rubbing her back as he said softly, "That drug really wiped you out didn't it? I didn't know it was going to be quite so strong, but it's really just as well seeing as we haven't been advised to rendezvous yet." Carian squirmed to get out from under his touch but he just rubbed more firmly, keeping her in place. "Stop wriggling, you're not going anywhere, you're in no condition to go anywhere and this might help a little," Carth said impatiently.
"If you're trying to relax me, it's not working. I can't relax around you anymore," Carian answered softly, sadly. Carth's hand stilled on her back and he removed it silently. Carian reached up with one leaden hand and wiped her face, trying to erase all evidence of the tears she had shed over this traitor.
Carian rolled over, setting her head spinning again. She closed her eyes and waited for it to pass. The Sith were going to have fun getting her to go anywhere, she might just lose her lunch all over their nice, shiny uniforms. She grinned at that thought and decided she must be insane if she could find something to smile about in this situation.
Carth was thinking similar thoughts about her sanity as he watched the smile creep over her face and tried to imagine what would make her smile. Was she imagining his gruesome death at her hands? But then, Carian would say that those thoughts led to the Dark Side no doubt. She always had been a puzzle to him and that had been part of the interesting part of his mission. He'd loved trying to determine what she would do next.
"Carth," Carian said, breaking into his musings, "why would the Sith want to get Revan in power though? There must be a Dark Lord and whoever he or she is won't want competition. So, why try to revive Revan? I can understand killing Revan, but not bringing her back to power."
That was a more complicated question than she realized, Carth thought. He looked at the angry Jedi before him and tried to phrase his next words carefully.
The chime of the comm. channel interrupted him before he could answer her however and he jumped up to respond. The message was brief and when he turned back to Carian he could see by the trepidation in her eyes that she had heard it this time.
"Well as I'm sure you're aware by that comm. message, we're docking in moments so your reprieve has ended. It's time." Without another word, he scooped her up in his arms again and brought her back to the cockpit to sit in the co-pilot's seat. She might seem weak and groggy, but he'd learned not to underestimate the powerful Jedi at his side.
Wordlessly she stared at the overwhelmingly large ship that Carth was piloting them towards. She couldn't see anything to identify it, aside from the fact that it was huge. Besides, she had no one to tell. She'd walked into this trap because she had trusted someone who had pretended to be on her side, and later pretended to care about her, to love her. Carian wondered when anyone at the Enclave at Coruscant would worry about her. Bastila would likely tell them she had left for Telos with Carth and would return soon. How many days would it take before someone thought to inquire? Where would they start? Telos? What could Dustil say? He probably didn't know that his father was betraying the Republic. No one might ever know where she had disappeared to.
Carth effortlessly flew the ship into the large docking bay on the massive Sith ship. He turned to gaze at his companion as he cut power and lowered the loading ramp. Carian was staring unseeingly at the viewscreen ahead of her, at the squadron of Sith soldiers stationed near the ship.
Carian heard footsteps behind her and knew Carth was speaking to someone, likely the Sith officer that he was turning her over to. She ignored them both. She knew what would happen and she had no intention of contributing to this farce. Carian's chair was jerked around roughly and she was yanked to her feet. She fought the rising wave of dizziness and tried to focus her gaze on this new threat. Carian beheld a tall, older man, somewhere in his fifties, watching her closely.
Apparently she didn't appear to be much of a threat in her current state for he turned his back on her and started to drag her behind him. Carian attempted to stumble behind him. She abhorred asking either man for assistance or saying anything to indicate her dizziness. Unfortunately, her drugged body betrayed her and she collapsed to the floor. She heard a derisive comment from the Sith officer and moments later two Sith guards appeared and half-dragged, half-carried her off the ship and into the detention compound.
They reached a holding cell and the guards released her and she immediately dropped to the floor. She felt their hands moving over her to examine her for weapons and could only whimper slightly when her lightsaber was removed from her belt. She was allowed to keep her robes and could put up no resistance as a neural restraint collar was placed around her neck. Carian was shoved into the cell where she landed on the floor and closed her eyes, darkness and despair overwhelming her. She closed her eyes and gave in to the drugs and the heartache and fell asleep whispering the Jedi code.