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Chapter 3: Hitting Bottom
Carian felt the hard floor beneath her, and thought about moving. She was very stiff and sore. It felt like someone had struck her repeatedly with stun batons. Why was she on the floor? She lay still for a moment thinking, and stiffened as the memories of the previous night came rushing back to her. Carth, right, Carth had deceived her and she was in a Sith cell. Was it just a dream? The pounding in her head suggested otherwise. She had a feeling that was the residue of whatever Carth had drugged her with. She could feel a neural restraint collar pressing into her neck. Stubbornly she tried to call on her Force Powers; it was as though she was cut off from the Force, she couldn't do the simplest thing using the Force. 'Bastila got out of one of these collars, why didn't I ask her how she did it?' Carian thought to herself. 'Oh, Bastila, can you hear me? Bastila. Bastila. I need you. I need all of you,' Carian half-heartedly reached out with her bond. She had never tried to use the bond she shared with Bastila over long distances and she didn't know if this collar would suppress even that. She couldn't think about now.
Carian still hadn't moved or opened her eyes, but she wanted a better look at her surroundings. Groaning slightly, Carian sat up and looked around. She was in a small cell. From the centre of the room, she should be able to touch all four walls easily just by stretching her arms out and leaning a bit. Well, she hadn't expected comfort after all, and her quarters on Coruscant weren't much bigger really. One wall wasn't really a wall, but a transparent forcefield. Mission had told her about deactivating one when she had gotten them out of the Detention Compound on the Leviathan. She only wished she had some of Mission's skills to slice into computers and her knack for bypassing locks. Carian had always been more about strength. If a locked door stopped her, she smashed it. Well, this was clearly not going to work on a forcefield. She glared at the forcefield and finally hauled herself up off the floor and sat on the bunk in the cell and remembered.
flashback
Carian and Carth had managed to acquire Sith uniforms and gotten to the Lower City. They'd had a brief violent encounter with some Black Vulkars but had dispatched them easily. They'd wandered into Jayvar's Cantina and met Mission and Zaalbar. If she'd known that she'd later end up with a Wookie owing her a life debt, maybe she would have stayed out of the cantina. No, she'd needed Mission, and wherever Mission was, you found Zaalbar. Carian and Carth had chatted briefly with Mission and Zaalbar in the cantina and gotten a bit more information about the gangs in the Lower City and the terrible conditions in the Undercity. When Carth and Carian had left the cantina to find the Hidden Bek base, she and Carth had had a short, rather frustrating discussion about her trustworthiness after exchanging a few memorable insults.
"I'm probably wrong and this is probably nothing, I know. I learned a long time ago not to take things at face value, however. And I *hate* surprises." Carth had said, apparently attempting to smooth things over.
"I'm telling you, Carth, I had nothing to do with the crash." Carian had said, frustrated at the pilot's continued misgivings towards her.
"I expect you're right. I've got no real reason to suspect you of anything. Still... it's better to be safe than sorry, right?" Carth had replied, seeming to her, almost sheepish for what must seem an unreasonable amount of suspicion at the time
"Are you always this suspicious?" Carian had asked him, annoyed. She'd hoped he would apologize, say something, and admit he was being unreasonable or stupid or something, but that hadn't happened.
"Look, it has nothing to do with you personally. I don't trust anyone and I have my reasons.
And no, I'm not going to discuss them. So can we just keep our mind on more important things?" Carth had said, clearly ready to dismiss the subject, and her. He clearly hadn't realized that leaving her dangling like that was only going to invite more questions later on. Well, she warned him.
"You haven't heard the last from me on this." Carian glared at the pilot as they approached the Hidden Bek's lookout.
"Alright, alright. You must be the most damned persistent woman I've ever met.
We'll talk about it but later. Right now I just want to get going." Carth had thought that was the end of that discussion.
end flashback
Rubbing her aching head, Carian was amazed at the gall he'd had. Carth had been the one with a hidden agenda, misplaced loyalties, and he'd questioned her loyalties. Well, it had been one way to deflect attention from himself. She'd been so busy, being annoyed with the pilot for not trusting her, for not believing she was who she claimed to be, that she'd never questioned him, until it came up in the heat of an argument.
flashback
Carian and Carth had ventured into the Undercity after talking to Gadon Thek to look for Mission Vao. Apparently she would be able to help them break into the Vulkar Base to get a swoop accelerator that Carian needed to win the swoop race that had Bastila Shan as a prize. Carian kept glancing at Carth out of the corner of her eye. She hadn't missed the appreciative glance that Shaleena had given him either and was not impressed with the flash of jealousy she'd felt towards the Outcast girl. She knew she was being ridiculous but she'd wanted to tell Shaleena to just back off and stop ogling the pilot, she was the only one who got to ogle him. Oh, yeah, she was definitely crazy. Luckily Carian had put a stop to questioning her sanity and the murderous thoughts she had towards Shaleena when she and Carth had encountered a Sith patrol just outside the Outcast village. Things hadn't been going well for the Sith search parties. After receiving some warnings about the area from the well meaning Sith officer, Carian had been more than happy to leave the patrol to their searches. They had more to do after all. It was Carth who had said something much earlier about the two of them keeping a low profile, not that she was good at that, but still, no need to take on a Sith patrol just now.
Carian had finally stopped and glared at Carth and insisted they resume their earlier discussion. Carth tried to dissuade her, muttering things about rahkghouls and Sith patrols, but Carian was determined to get this issue resolved.
"But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching you or being wary. I'm just not built that way. Period." Carth had declared, after telling her how skilled she was and how lucky he was to have her along for the mission. Apparently Flyboy here hasn't figured out that he can't compliment his way out of a discussion, Carian thought to herself.
"Not built that way? That sounds like an excuse." Carian had flared at him.
"Maybe so. But I've been betrayed before by people I... well, it won't happen again, that's all." Carth had said tiredly, sadly, it had seemed.
She had so wanted Carth to trust her, even just a bit, that she couldn't help but point out the flaw in his logic. "Of course it won't happen again if you never trust anyone!" Carian had said, aggravated at the pilot's determination to keep his walls up.
"Look... I'm not trying to insult you. This is just the way I am, no need to take it personally." Carth had maintained calmly.
"Right. And how am I supposed to know that *you* won't betray us?" Carian had asked him, not even really meaning it, just looking to get a rise out of the dutiful, principled soldier.
"Me?" Carth had seemed so genuinely surprised by the question that she had instantly regretted asking it, but she couldn't back down.
"Why not you? Accusing other people is a good cover for a traitor." Carian had flashed at him.
"I don't remember ever saying anything about "traitor". All I mean is that if you're smart, you won't trust anyone... not me, not Bastila and especially not yourself." Carth's answer had surprised and saddened her.
"I wouldn't want to live like that." Carian had said softly.
"Not all of us have the luxury of a choice. I'm conditioned this way, sorry." Carth had said matter-of-factly.
"That settles that I guess." Carian had replied, not willing to show the arrogant pilot how hurt she was by his unwillingness to trust her. Apparently she'd never make a good Pazzak player; Carth had immediately seen her reaction.
"Why is whether I trust you or anyone so damned important? Why...why do you even care?
We don't have time for this...so can we please just drop it. For now. Can we pick it up later if you really must, I...want to get underway." Carth had pleaded, effectively ending the discussion.
Carian had let the matter drop. If he didn't trust her, fine, she knew she wasn't about to betray the Republic, or him. Stubborn man.
end flashback
Carian pulled absently on the neural restraint collar. Looking back on those conversations now, she felt like a fool. She'd asked Carth about his trustworthiness, about whether or not he might betray her and he'd warned her, he'd actually warned her and she'd dismissed it as defences put up by a sad, grief stricken man. She would never have believed that he might actually be trying to tell her something. The part of her that remembered being Revan had to admire him for it. It was clever.
'Of course you've been conditioned not to trust anyone Carth, that is the way of the Sith. Oh, why didn't I see it? Because I never would have believed it, that's why. He could have had the entire Republic Ceremonial Band march up and down and perform a "Carth Onasi is a Traitor" song and I would have thought it was ridiculous.' Carian grudgingly admitted to herself.
"There is no Emotion, there is Peace
There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge
There is no Passion there is Serenity
There is no Chaos, There is Harmony
There is no Death, there is the Force," Carian said softly to herself.
"I'm going to stop thinking about him and I'm going to focus on my current situation. My situation is not going to improve by being upset about how I got here," Carian whispered to herself. She glanced around the tiny cell and took stock. There was a bunk, a forcefield, a very hard floor and no control panels of any kind. 'Hmm, well this is going to be a fun place, I can tell. Oh I know, they plan to get me to turn to the Dark Side by boring me to tears in here,' Carian almost giggled to herself but stopped as she could almost hear a Bastila-like admonition in her mind. 'The Dark Side is no laughing matter, Carian.' It was true. This was nothing to laugh about. She wished it was Bastila reaching through their bond, but she hadn't felt the connection since shortly after leaving Coruscant. She didn't know if it was the drug Carth had given her or mere distance. Maybe the Sith were hoping to starve her into submission. She hadn't heard or seen anyone and there was certainly no food in her cell. She paced the small room restlessly trying to calm her growing anxiety.
Carth dressed in his Sith uniform and reviewed the report he'd entered into his datapad late the previous evening. He drained what was left of his caffa and went to find the Dark Lord.
Darth Talas was a tiny woman, with cold blue eyes that seemed to see into Carth's very soul. She seemed not to notice his arrival for she did not acknowledge him, but he knew that she was aware of his presence in her Command Centre. The Dark Lord was wearing typical flowing black robes, and carried a lightsaber at her belt. She sometimes wore a face mask. Today she had chosen not to wear one he saw as she turned to regard him.
"You have done well, Captain Onasi." she said smiling at him.
"Thank you. I have a report for you Master," Carth replied, bowing low.
"Yes, yes, put it on the console over there," his master said gesturing impatiently to the side.
Carth deposited the datapad on the console and turned to leave.
"She is very strong in the Force. She tries to draw on it even now, with a neural restraint collar blocking it from her," Talas observed quietly, stopping Carth in his tracks.
He turned to face her and found himself saying, "Bastila Shan wore a neural restraint collar on Taris and was able to free herself from it."
She laughed softly, "You don't actually think that street gangs on Taris could get an adequate collar to contain a true Jedi do you?" she asked Carth derisively.
"I've seen the accounts of what happened on Taris, how Bastila Shan escaped us, due in large part to Revan's assistance, and yours," she said dryly. Carth started to speak but closed his mouth with a snap when he realized she was continuing. "We even recovered the neural restraint collar used on Bastila Shan, and I can assure you, Captain Onasi, that the collar that our new guest now wears, will contain her. She couldn't draw on the Force to do the smallest of things, for the Force is blocked to her as long as she wears that collar."
"Of course, Master. I am glad that she will be so effectively contained," Carth replied. 'You have no idea how glad', he couldn't help but think to himself.
She eyed him shrewdly for a long moment and replied "I'm certain you are, I'm certain you are, Captain. New orders will be brought to you. For now, just take your ease on the ship. Dismissed." She turned away from him and gazed at the viewscreen before her.
Carth took his leave without another word and left the Command Centre.
Carian heard the hum of the forcefield stop abruptly. She glanced up to see what new threat presented itself. A young man, about twenty-one, had entered her cell, he glanced at her disinterestedly and deposited a small tray on the floor and left. She watched as the forcefield was reactivated. 'Sith food, now they want me to eat Sith food. And after last night, too.' Carian thought bitterly. 'I wonder if there's an herbal drink. It would be just like the Sith to twist the knife. Well that takes care of my appetite now. Who could eat that stuff? Who knows what's mixed in there?' Carian thought, images of a Sith recipes book titled "101 Recipes to Turn a Jedi to the Dark Side." Carian shuddered slightly, thinking that it may not be too far off the truth.
She didn't bother to examine whatever had been brought to her; it would be far too easy to justify having a little to satisfy her growing hunger or to keep up her strength. She reflected that a slow starvation would not be an appealing way to die, but it would be ever so much better than reclaiming her title as Revan, the Dark Lord of the Sith. Carian also doubted that the Sith would let her starve herself. When she had been Revan, towards the end of her reign as the Dark Lord, she'd put in place several procedures for dealing with Jedi that were captured in battle. Force Sensitivity was a rare gift and Revan had always believed in taking whatever advantages she could get. Carian remembered clearly that Revan had been adamant that Jedi prisoners were to be kept alive under any circumstances, and she would deal personally with the fool who disobeyed her. Carian searched her mind, searched Revan's mind to be precise, wondering if Revan had something specific for prisoners who denied themselves their food. Carian couldn't find that memory, whether because Revan had never made such a specific decree or because all she could think about now was food and the fact that she didn't have any, was anyone's guess. Carian glared at the tray and futilely wished it away.
Carth wandered to a small mess hall that was set up on the ship. He'd heard that they'd tried to have a cantina but fights broke out too often so it became a stark mess hall that did little to encourage the clients to stay. Carth selected his meal automatically, not even noticing his meal and took a seat in the far corner of the room. He had no desire to speak to anyone just now. He ate mechanically, keeping his gaze fastened on the table before him. He could hear snatches of conversations from the other Sith in the room; they seemed to be talking about Carian. Despite the rumours and speculation that was flying about the room, no one could figure out what Darth Talas wanted with a former Dark Lord. Carth smirked to himself. He doubted if Carian had any idea how valuable she was to the Sith empire, especially in her current state.
Carth remembered those first few days, immediately after Malak's defeat. He'd felt…free. Karath was dead, Malak was dead. Anyone who knew he worked for the Sith was dead and gone. Perhaps he could take a long hard look at his life, at the choices he'd made. Learning the Jedi's true identity from Karath on the Leviathan had been a shock, he had been furious enough to abandon her to whatever fate awaited her, but as he'd told Carian, he'd decided to see if she could defeat Malak. He'd thought that once Carian knew who she used to be, how much power she once wielded, she would be eager to reclaim her old identity. When Malak had been defeated, Carian had even turned Bastila back towards the light and it had become increasingly clear to Carth that she may never fall to the Dark Side. Over the days and weeks that followed he'd considered abandoning the whole idea and reclaiming his own identity as a loyal Republic Soldier. Carian would never have to know that he had once been a threat to her, and perhaps they could build the life that they had both been robbed of. Standing on the Rakatan beach, he'd told her he loved her, telling himself that his supposed love would make her stronger for the battle ahead with Malak, but he knew the truth, even if he hated to admit it to himself. He had fallen in love with her. Carth couldn't imagine how or why, it had just happened.
The "Heroes of the Republic" as they jokingly called themselves, causing Carth to wince inwardly each time the nickname was spoken, had still been on their Grand Tour. He'd wandered off to a cantina late one night, after Carian had retired early, pleading exhaustion from hours of waving and smiling and overall looking properly heroic. He'd been approached at the cantina by a Sith agent. The man had claimed to represent Darth Talas, and had questions about Carth's work for the Sith. Carth had feigned ignorance, had tried to bluff his way out of the discussion. The agent, however, knew a great deal about Carth's original assignment. The man had found it fascinating that Bastila Shan, the Jedi Carth had been sent to capture, was now back among the Jedi, even after being successfully turned to the Dark Side by Darth Malak. It was even more fascinating that the Jedi who had turned her back was none other than the former Sith Lord, Darth Revan, now adopting a new name and new identity, Jedi Guardian, Carian. The most fascinating thing of all this was that both of these women had been aided in their quest by Carth Onasi, the man originally sent to capture Bastila on the Endar Spire. One might think that Carth had abandoned the mission from the start and decided to aid the Republic. Carth had assured the man who had stubbornly refused to divulge his name, that he had not abandoned the mission. He was merely considering his options. After all, there didn't seem to be anyone who would take much of an interest in two captured Jedis, he'd tried to reason. Carth realized that he would be fooling himself if he thought he would ever be happy with Carian, pretending to have a life with her. He knew that he would only be pretending. Carth could never truly forgive her for being Revan, for being responsible for the deaths of so many, for the death of his wife. He could never go back to the Republic. Carth barely heard the offer made by the Sith agent as he agreed to it. He would deliver Carian to Darth Talas and move on with his life, perhaps finding the peace that had eluded him for so long. Carth shook his head, clearing his mind of his memories and eyed the meal in front of him. It had grown cold as he lost himself in his recollections. He shoved the half-eaten meal away and stalked out of the mess hall, racing for the solitude of his quarters.
Carian sat, considering her options. The uneaten meal that still sat in her cell likely contained some kind of drug that would lower her mental discipline, make her more susceptible to whatever plans the Sith had for her. When she had been Revan, it had been standard procedure to include some kind of drug in the prisoners' meals whenever she was hoping to turn a Jedi to her side. However, she knew that most Jedi would refuse her initial meals, as she was doing now, and some kind of injection would follow. So, if everything followed the same course as she remembered, she would likely get some kind of injection of the same drug she was trying to avoid. Carian still couldn't bring herself to eat any of that meal. The more she'd been thinking in her isolation, the more she'd remembered of Revan's methods, of the Sith's methods, and she had a fair idea of what was in store for her if they were planning on trying to turn her to the Dark Side. Carian sat in silence, mentally trying to re-read every Jedi text on self-discipline and control she'd ever seen, both as Revan and Carian. She had no idea how long she sat there, trying to find that inner tranquility that was eluding her when she needed it so badly.
Carian was jolted back to the present when two guards grasped hold of her arms while an acolyte prepared to inject her. She remembered the drug now, one that Revan had been fond of using because of how it increased suggestibility. Carian squirmed in the grasp of the Sith guards. She knew it was futile, but she had made the decision that she could not make this easy for anyone. Not the Sith, not herself. She struggled against their grip until one finally twisted her arm up behind her back with such force she cried out. He pushed again, just slightly, and Carian was certain he was about to break her arm. As she stilled, she felt the hypo prick her throat. It was over in moments and she expected the Sith guards to leave while the drug took effect. Instead they hauled her along with them and she was filled with a new dread. Carian tried to search Revan's memories but her own apprehension was too great. All she could think was 'Carth, why? Did you really hate me this much? It would have been kinder to just have let me die in the crash on Taris.' No, she couldn't let her emotional distress get in her way right now. She had a feeling that she was going to get her share of pain all too soon and it wouldn't be emotional. She had been hauled through several corridors and down a lift. They went a little further and some non-descript doors slid open to reveal what Carian knew was where she would be spending a great deal of time for the length of her stay on this damned ship.
Carian was shoved into a torture cage and a simple forcefield was activated around it. The torture fields hadn't been activated yet; she tensed in anticipation. The Sith that had brought her here left abruptly, leaving her alone again.
'Isn't someone supposed to at least try to convince me to turn to the Dark Side or ask me something before the torture starts? These Sith just cut corners apparently. Go straight to the torture. Apparently no one had read her detailed notes on torture. Hmm. Where had that thought come from? Revan had made detailed notes on torture? I don't think I want to read those or remember that too clearly. Unfortunately the notes she had made were coming to the forefront of her mind. There was a clear process. She knew there was, and she knew it worked. Revan had had wonderful success rates with the Jedi she had turned. Well, let's just let the Sith wing it then. If they're not following Revan's tried and true methods, so much the better for me,' Carian's thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of a large Sith in dark robes.
He was tall, taller than…um…Canderous. Banish all thoughts of dark haired traitorous pilots from our heads. Let's not think about him now. The Sith's robes looked soft and clung to a muscular form. Carian thought to herself that he could likely break her in half with his bare hands if he entertained the notion. He was imposing and menacing.
"You'd be almost attractive if it weren't for those extremely ugly Sith tattoos, you Lobotomized Gamorrean!" Carian heard her voice speaking and couldn't believe she'd said that aloud. Well, it was better than swearing allegiance to the Sith, that was certain.
"Well, well, Revan, once you took pride in your own tattoos. You took pride in a great many things Sith, but the Jedi robbed you of that. We'll help you find it again," the Sith smiled at her. A smile that was terrifying in its lack of malice or evil.
Carian once again found herself speaking and she wondered vaguely if Mission had somehow taken over her powers of speech, "In case you didn't get the big announcement you nerf-herder, Revan's dead! The Jedi killed her. Get over it already! So just for future reference, if any of you ever have anything to say to me, you won't get my attention by using that name. She is dead and gone, you...you…Sith!!" Carian ended her tirade in frustration. Now when she needed more good insults, they eluded her. 'Just wonderful,' she thought.
Rather than striking her or immediately activating the torture fields as Carian had anticipated, the Sith laughed. He approached her cage, deactivating the forcefield on his way. He moved quickly, blocking her instinctive break for the door and pushed her back against the wall of her cage. He was so tall, that he was bending slightly and his face was close to hers. He didn't even need to use his hands to keep her there; his sheer bulk was preventing her moving an inch. Carian squirmed slightly, keenly aware of his intense gaze on her, he moved one hand to her throat and lay his hand against it with just a fraction of pressure. She could still breathe with ease but the threat was obvious. The Sith moved his other hand to touch her face, "I will enjoy helping you come back to your former glory and I look forward to the day when you embrace your true self, and not some Jedi-programmed identity." He smiled down at her, squeezing her throat until she was breathless. Carian glared up at him and was grateful for the support of the wall of the cage behind her, keeping her from falling to her knees from lack of oxygen. He released his hand finally and she worked her own hands up to shove against his immovable bulk. He remained where he was for several seconds longer, just smiling down at her. He finally backed out and had the forcefield activated before she could make a dash for the door. She knew it would have been futile to try but Carian was determined to try to run at every opportunity.
"It will never happen, never," Carian rasped, her voice rusty from the disuse of the past several hours and the recent pressure on her throat.
"Of course, whatever you say, little Jedi" the Sith commented absently, as one would say to a young, naïve child who wouldn't understand the reasoning behind your logical arguments. Carian could cheerfully have Force Pushed him through the nearest available airlock.
'Patronize me will he? When I get out of here I'll-...' all her rational thought vanished when the torture fields were activated.
Consain watched the infamous woman writhe in pain, being kept from falling to the floor of the cage by the field activated. He'd been given no specific instructions on how long to keep the fields active, she was just not supposed to die or become permanently incoherent. He'd been careful to keep it on a relatively low setting because he planned on keeping the fields active for as long as possible. Consain could hear inarticulate cries of pain coming from the cage. Her hands seemed to be seeking purchase on the sleek walls inside the cage, something to hold on to. He watched for a few moments, knowing that she was in no real danger and reflected that she really was a lovely woman. He smirked to himself and rummaged in the desk drawer for a datapad that he kept there. Consain entered a few notes about their encounter. He noted what she had said and her reactions to him, to her sudden inability to breathe and her reactions thus far to the torture. He also noted her insults. She certainly was creative. He grinned.
All that Carian was aware of was pain, she couldn't try to recite the Jedi code or draw on any of what Bastila had spoken of when she had faced Darth Malak when being tortured. She was aware that whatever had been done on the Leviathan was like a massage compared to what was happening to her now. She desperately wanted to beg for it all to go away, for the pain to stop but the price to pay would be worse than the torture, so she let herself scream. Her mind latched on to one name and she screamed it out in her misery, "Bastila!!!!! Bastila!!! Bastila!!!"
Consain jerked his head up at that name. All the Sith knew of Bastila Shan, and how close they had come to obtaining her Battle Meditation. She'd been Malak's apprentice all too briefly, but Malak, following the way of the Sith, had allowed Bastila to sacrifice herself to Revan. However, Revan hadn't slain the fallen Jedi but had turned her back to the light. The whole thing left a foul taste in Consain's mouth. Interesting that Revan would call for Bastila now but from the reports he'd seen, there was a connection between Bastila Shan and Revan. He made a note of it in his datapad and confirmed that Revan was in no physical danger.
On Coruscant, Bastila Shan was sitting cross legged on the floor in her quarters, just finishing her meditations when she felt her name being called out in desperation. It was such a strong impression that Bastila leapt to her feet and drew her lightsabre, glancing around, weapon at the ready. She heard the cry again and again, and as before, it was faint, but the pain and terror in that single name was so strong she looked about again, still holding the lightsabre ready. Realizing the foolishness of that strategy, she shut off her lightsabre and sat down again. Dread crept over Bastila as she realized who the most likely person was to have called out to her.
'Carian? Carian, what is it?' Bastila reached out mentally. She was not terribly surprised to receive no answer except only hearing her own name being called out again and again. 'She's in Telos you fool, you don't know how far this bond extends,' the young Jedi chided herself. Bastila closed her eyes and resumed her meditation, putting her friend's desperate cries to the back of her mind as best she could for the moment. She allowed herself to open up more fully to the Force, more fully to the pleas for help coming from Carian. She couldn't feel anything about Carian except for the original pain and terror that had come through with cry of her name. Bastila recognized that pain and terror, she knew it all too well and she was convinced that wherever Carian was, she was being tortured, probably by the Sith.
'Carian!!!! Stay strong my friend, stay strong!!!!!!!!' Bastila used every ounce of her being to use their bond and mentally screamed that small reassurance to Carian. The calling of her name ceased abruptly in the middle of her name and Bastila was filled with a new sense of unease. She listened with all her being, trying to get some sense of her friend.
'Bast-!' Carian stopped. Something had penetrated the waves of agony. She could have sworn she'd heard Bastila call her name. Carian tried desperately to focus on what she was hearing. 'Stay strong?' she thought in stupefaction. Well, at least now she knew it was not a Sith trick. Only Bastila would say something that idiotic.
The sudden silence from the cage caught Consain's attention. His subject was still in agony, she was making little whimpering noises but she wasn't screaming anymore. Hmm, had she become accustomed to this level? That happened sometimes and was always a variable with each subject. It became bearable to them. He'd watch a few moments more and decide if he needed to increase the levels.
'Bastila!' Carian tried mentally, preferring not to call to her friend out loud. There was no response. The pain that Carian had been holding back was threatening to overwhelm her. Carian searched for rational thought and gathering her strength, allowed herself the release of screaming to her pain.
"Bastila!!!! Bastila!!! Damn the Sith!!! I need you Bastila!!! Please!!!" Carian screamed to her friend and prayed that what had happened wasn't a coincidence, a trick or a fluke.
Consain smiled to himself. He'd just been thinking that he needed to adjust the level of intensity. He could be patient. He'd been chosen for this because though he knew of Revan, the two didn't know each other personally. His techniques were often not by the book, Revan's book, and though her methods were undoubtedly effective, he believed that a man should enjoy his work. He took pains to be creative, to add his own touches and methods and his success rate rivalled Revan's. It had been decided that if Revan couldn't anticipate what was to come, then she would more easily be caught off guard and more easily influenced. He wondered briefly if that last word she had cried out had been an entreaty to him. He shrugged, if it was, she would cry it out again and ensure her message to him was plain. He resumed entering some notes on his datapad.
If Bastila hadn't already been sitting down, she would have fallen from the force of the impact of that cry, and from the relief that Carian lived still. Clearly she was being listened to and was unable to find enough calm to call to Bastila without actually crying out. Bastila winced inwardly at the pain she could sense just through their bond; if her own experiences were any reference point Carian would find little calm in the coming days. She gathered herself together again and prepared to communicate again with Carian.
'I understand!!!! You're with the Sith!!! I'll do what I can from here!!!' she screamed with all of her being to the distant, trapped Jedi. She heard her name screamed out again and realized Carian would not be able to tell her anything right now. A sudden thought did occur to Bastila, 'Can Carth help you? Is he being held with you? Or separately?'
"NO!!!!!!! Damn Sith!! No!!! Damn evil Sith!!!" was the only coherent thought that Carian could put together when she heard Bastila's questions about Carth. Carian privately thanked Bastila, perhaps now they would be warned even if she never saw them again.
Bastila was rocked back with the force of the shout from Carian. She'd asked about Carth and Carian had screamed back about the Sith. Of course Bastila still thought those same things about the Sith on a regular basis, she was just learning to temper her emotions with serenity, with peace. She resolved to once more. Bastila took a deep breath, closed her eyes.
'Is Carth-?!!!!' Bastila asked, trying again.
"SITH!!!!! Gamorrean pig-man!!! SITH!!!!" Carian was gratified to get to use that insult. She could only hope that Bastila picked up on it. Her throat ached from her earlier inarticulate screams and this cunning method of communication with Bastila that had simply started out of her despair.
Once again Bastila was rocked back with the force of her friend's call. All she'd done was mention Carth's name and Carian had responded forcefully, not with pain and terror as before, but pain, anger and betrayal. "Gamorrean pig-man? Hmm, I remember Mission told me once about a terrible fight they had on Taris. Mission was impressed because that was one of her more creative insults for Carth," Bastila murmured to herself. Bastila's face drained of colour as she realized the terrible implications that Carian's declaration had, if she had understood it correctly.
"Twice you brought up Carth's name and all she could do was scream about Sith and her range of emotions changes completely. Stop kidding yourself, Shan. If you don't want to admit this truth, imagine how Carian must feel, alone on a Sith ship. Oh Carth, could you really have put her there? Could you really hate Revan that much?"
Bastila argued with herself before finally admitting the truth. She took several calming, cleansing deep breaths and prepared for one last communication with Carian before rounding up her friends.
"I think I understand about Carth!!!!! I'll do everything I can to help you!!!!!! Just stay strong!!!!! Stay strong Carian!!!!!! Call on me as often as you need!!!!!" Bastila cried out mentally to Carian. She waited, listening, but there was no reply, except for the occasional calling of her name. Bastila closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall in her small quarters. The communication had drained her. She could only imagine what Carian must be going through. She would talk to the others soon, once she felt a little more normal.
Consain was watching Revan intently. She had subsided into intermittent cries for Bastila Shan. He had been very entertained when the gamorrean pig-man comment had been made. He'd heard that Revan was original. It was gratifying to see that it was true. He made certain to make a note of that comment. Consain was truly impressed with her stamina. Most people would have passed out by now, even on this low setting, but she still fought on. No wonder she had been a Sith Lord. If not for Malak's cowardly attack from the safety of his ship, Consain was certain that Revan would still be the most powerful Sith Lord in the galaxy. He checked her vitals; her heart rate was accelerated and breathing was irregular but those things were to be expected. Consain was certain she could hold out for some time yet. She was truly an impressive woman. All that stamina wasted resisting torture when it could be used for so many other things. He grinned to himself. There would be time to explore that avenue later.
Carian was drained. Communicating with Bastila like that while in this less than ideal situation was exhausting. All she wanted to do was beg them to turn it off. She was starting to think she would say or do anything just to have them turn it off. Bastila's last message echoed in her mind, "Just stay strong! Stay strong Carian!" Carian didn't know where to find that strength but decided to call for Bastila again. She tried to cry out, to give release to this mind numbing pain but her voice was gone. She couldn't even call out anymore.
Consain heard the aborted attempt by his subject to cry out. He glanced at the time; one hour had passed, right on schedule for her voice to go. He'd expected Revan to refuse food and drink from them earlier so he'd anticipated that it wouldn't take long for her voice to give out on her. He chuckled to himself; he imagined that right now Revan would probably give her right arm for a sip of water or the blessed oblivion of unconsciousness. The Jedi didn't realize that she was not about to pass out from the pain any time soon. The expert torturer had programmed the atmosphere in her cage to administer a mild stimulant anytime her vitals indicated she was going to lose consciousness. She would not be able to retreat into a pain-free world unless or until he willed it. He'd observed her discomfort when he'd crowded into the cage with her. One of the reasons he'd been selected for this position was for his intimidating physical size and his ease at using his size to intimidate people. He doubted that Revan was frightened of him because of his size but she was clearly uncomfortable when they'd been in close physical contact. Hmm, perhaps he should explore that a little further. After all, it was about time to see if she was as strong as she thought she was.
Consain secured the door to the chamber they were in with a password and removed his more obvious weapons and secured them in his desk. He doubted that she would be able to put up much resistance once he shut down the torture field but he'd learned early to never underestimate a subject, especially if she was a petite former Dark Lord of the Sith.
Carian sank to the floor of the cage when the torture field that had been supporting her was shut down suddenly. She took a deep breath and tried to rise but her body wasn't ready to obey her just yet. She would crawl out of here if she had to but that enormous man was watching her keenly from just outside her cage. It would help if the forcefield were disabled but first she needed her body to respond.
Consain watched her struggle to rise and knelt down so he was face to face with her. She was aware of his presence, he knew that but she wouldn't meet his eyes or look in his direction at all. He'd hoped she would be challenging. Never taking his eyes off her face, he reached above him and disabled the forcefield. Predictably, when Revan realized that her legs wouldn't support her yet, she attempted to crawl for the door.
Carian saw the forcefield drop out of the corner of her eye. 'Does he have to be right between me and the door?' she grumbled silently to herself. 'Of course he does, it would be too easy if he turned his back and took a nap. That would be too easy.' She started to crawl resolutely for the door and paused when his arm stretched out casually, lazily, to block her path. She glared at him in frustration.
"You're in my way. Get the hell out of my way!!" Carian rasped, her voice useless.
Consain was careful to not let his surprise show on his face. He'd expected her to make a token "run" for the door, and when she had begun to try to speak he'd thought at first she was resigned to her fate and was pleading for water. He'd only been able to barely make out what she'd said. The Jedi had nerve he'd give her that.
"I'm sorry, it was hard to make out what you said," Consain answered blandly. He remained where he was, still kneeling in front of her, one arm outstretched as though for balance, effectively blocking her path. "Did you say you wanted water?" he asked her innocently.
Carian glared at him. She knew he was perfectly aware of what she had said. "GO AWAY!" she rasped, trying to enunciate painful word clearly to get her message across without a shadow of a doubt.
"Ohhh, you want me to move?" false understanding was on his face now. "Well, I could move for you if you like, but the door is secured, and only I will be able to provide you with a way out" Consain offered amicably. "Oh and if you wanted to search for weapons or some other means to take your own life, you may, but there's nothing here that will allow you to do that. We don't carry anything like that into these chambers," he offered, lying with practiced ease.
Carian bit her lip and let herself sink back against the wall of the cage. She honestly couldn't remember if this Sith torturer had carried any weapons before all this had started. They both knew that whether the door was secure or not, he would never allow her to escape.
Consain advanced towards her, seeing that she had accepted his lie. He gripped her by both arms; she tried to pull away. He pulled her towards him easily, watching her closely to see if she was still discomfited with his nearness. Keeping her close to him, he rose, pulling her up with him. He was aware she couldn't stand on her own and he bore her slight weight easily. Consain smirked down at her, "Do you want some water? You must be thirsty. All that yelling is rough on your throat."
Carian ignored his offer, glaring at him. She didn't know what game he was playing but she had no patience for it. She tried to wrench her arms out of his grasp. It was a futile effort but it felt good to try. He had a slightly amused smile on his lips as he calmly looked down at her.
Consain was pleased with her efforts. She was still very strong. She would provide him with an actual challenge. He mentally flexed his muscles in anticipation. He pushed her backwards to a metal examining table and pushed her down on it. He could feel her strength returning in her struggles. He still didn't need to exert himself to maintain his control but she might be able to stand up sometime soon.
Deciding to be cautious, Consain decided to restrain her to the table. It was just a small strap about her waist, giving her freedom of movement in her arms and legs but it would slow her down if she somehow found the strength to get off the table. It would give him the freedom to move about the small room as he chose if he desired to but he was still curious to see her further reactions to his presence. He raised the table slightly so he wouldn't strain his back bending over her for prolonged periods of time.
"Listening to you made me thirsty. I'm sure you won't mind if I have a drink seeing as you apparently aren't thirsty," reaching into an inner pocket in his cloak, he produced a clear flask filled with a clear liquid. Slowly, dramatically, he opened the flask and took a long drink. He put the flask down within easy reach of both of them, still open.
Carian fumed. Did he think she was so easily bought? So easily turned? All it would take is some torture and a bit of water? Well thanks to him, her Mission-mouth syndrome couldn't show itself. Apparently there were some blessings. If she'd actually been able to say anything useful without terrible pain in her throat, she would probably be back in the torture cage with it set to the kill setting while he went out to explore the galaxy or something similar. Hmm, that idea wasn't all bad.
Consain looked over at her and was surprised to see a small smile playing across her lips. He leaned in close to her, watching in amusement as she squirmed in a useless effort to avoid him. "Imagining me in that cage, Jedi?" he asked, chuckling softly.
Carian realized that any attempts to speak were just going to hurt her and give this man more to work with. She tried to swallow, and giving him a look that could have melted him into a puddle, shook her head.
"Hmm," Consain trailed his hand lightly, slowly, down her throat. "That must be sore. It's probably why it's so quiet in here," he quirked an eyebrow at her. "It's almost tempting to give you the water just to see what you have to say to me," he frowned thoughtfully down at her.
Carian moved to get her head and neck away from his hand, but she really didn't have room to move. She slid her arm out behind him and catching hold of the open flask of water caught it up and flung it across the room. Regrettably it didn't break, but most of the contents spilled as it soared across the room, end over end and hit the cage.
Consain tightened his grip painfully around her throat and turned, slowly, to gaze at the now empty flask of water. He turned back and saw a triumphant smirk on her face. "I have more water, more flasks, you know," he commented conversationally.
"And I can keep throwing them," she retorted painfully, still trying to twist out of his grip at her throat.
"Indeed," he could feel her pulse racing under his hand. "I feel like I am at an advantage here. I know the name you'll answer to. I know your real name but I have been remiss. I never gave you my name," Revan was trying to push him away, but he was immovable. He watched in satisfaction as she closed her eyes and tried to turn her head away from his gaze. He moved his hand up slightly so that he was cupping her jaw and leaned down so that his face was a fraction of an inch from hers. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face as he watched her from this unlikely vantage point. "When you get your voice back, you can call me Consain."
Carian shuddered. She would never call him anything other than a murderous Sith. She couldn't look at him, wouldn't look at him. He'd tire of this game and ease the painful pressure on her throat soon. 'There is no Emotion, there is Peace, There is no Ignorance there is-', she couldn't breathe. Her eyes snapped open and she grabbed at his arm, trying to pull his hand away.
Consain had watched her retreat into what he assumed was her precious Jedi Code. She was likely searching for peace, serenity and whatever else he'd heard Jedi muttering about in previous sessions. He had put an end to that. "Your precious code will not help you now, little Jedi," he growled down at her, as she gasped for breath, staring up at him after he'd eased his hold slightly on her throat.
Carian just watched him warily. 'Next time I should just let him choke me,' she thought miserably to herself. 'Oh right, he won't kill me. This is going to be a really long day,' it crossed her mind that it must be really late. This was a dedicated torturer to work such long hours. Carian felt like she'd been there for hours upon hours and just wanted to curl up in the solitude of her cell and find some oblivion, until it all began again.
As following her train of thoughts, Consain glanced back towards the torture cage and looked back at her speculatively. "You seem positively energetic little Jedi," Consain commented thoughtfully. He ran his other hand carelessly down her body, feeling the way she was fighting against him. He tightened his grip on her throat slightly, in warning.
Carian wasn't afraid of him strangling her to death, but she had found that being unable to breathe was making her panic irrationally. She couldn't afford that. He didn't need to know any further weaknesses. She quieted her struggles slightly, and though he was partly turned away from her, she could see one eyebrow rise in amusement at her stubbornness.
Consain had felt how much she'd been able to move her legs. She may not realize it, but she might be able to stand, even walk or run. She didn't have anywhere to go but he was not inclined to allow her to find the weapons secreted away in his desk. She was remarkably strong and resilient. He would be able to get another session before lunch, rather than having her returned to her cell until tomorrow.
Carian tried to push his hand away, even when he was undoing the restraint at her waist. He let his hand linger at her waist for a moment, looking down into her face. She had a very expressive face; right now her face was telling him just what he could do with that hand and where he could shove it.
He pulled her to her feet and he released her just enough to see if she could stand on her own. He could feel her starting to sink to the floor so he tightened his hold on her, pulling her against him. She tried to push him away but his grip was too strong and he was too big. He chuckled softly at her feeble attempts. She scowled at him and he laughed harder.
They reached the cage. He pushed her inside and released her. Carian fell to the floor of the cage immediately. She resolutely tried to stand, more slowly, and was able to rise to her feet. Consain hadn't entered the cage with her this time, thankfully. He watched her progress from just outside the cage and as she gained her footing, he activated the forcefield.
"I wouldn't want you to get any ideas about trying to run off; not when we're about to have some more fun" Consain said smiling teasingly at her. "You endured that last setting remarkably well. Let's see how you do on the next shall we?" he said, walking back towards the console.
Carian braced herself. 'The next setting? Oh Force, help me! There is no Death, there is the-FORCE!!!!' Carian screamed the last word as unimaginable pain coursed through her. All she was aware of was exquisite agony and she had no idea how long it lasted.
Consain entered a few more notes into his datapad about their encounter at the table and the few comments he'd been able to get from her. He indicated his impressions, suspicions and thoughts as well. He watched Revan with interest for a few moments. She had surprised him with the strength and force of will she had shown. Of course he would have been disappointed had she been any less.
Consain returned to the console and ensured that the program was in place and set correctly. He had set up a varying frequency in the torture field. It would go to a high intensity, as it was now, and then lower somewhat, and when it was lowered; inaudible, subliminal recordings were being played to her. They were recordings that would penetrate her subconscious mind and she would have no memory of the recordings when she was done today. But the seed would be planted; soon she would be turned to the Dark Side.
Carian fell to the floor as the pain stopped abruptly. She gasped for breath, trying to clear her mind, to find her focus. She was hauled to her feet, but not by the one called Consain, but two Sith guards. They led her out of the cage and past Consain, who was busily inputting something into a datapad. He barely glanced up as she passed. "I'll see you again, little Jedi," he called out.
Carian was dragged down a maze of corridors and hallways and up the lift from what seemed like a lifetime ago. She actually recognized the Detention Area as they entered it and offered no resistance as they two Sith guards shoved her into the cell and left. She heard the forcefield activate behind her but she doubted she could have moved to save her life.
She lay where she had fallen for what seemed like a long time, her eyes were closed and tried to banish the memory of what had happened to her to some dark corner of her mind.
Carian heard someone speaking to her, but was too tired to register what was being said. She moved her head slightly and opened her eyes, recognizing the acolyte who had brought her food. Seeing that he had her attention, he tried again.
"Back so soon Jedi? You're in time for lunch seeing as you didn't manage to eat anything this morning. I really did think you'd be gone longer, but then I don't know much about what goes on in the torture section," the acolyte was saying.
Carian heard only some of what he was saying but stared at the acolyte as she realized that she had been in the torture chamber only a couple of hours, not the entire day and night that she had thought. Carian was already physically, mentally and emotionally drained. The thought that very little time had actually passed in her captivity pushed her beyond her limits and her eyes closed and she sank into welcoming darkness.
Sorn Gundo, seeing that the Jedi had fainted, deactivated the forcefield on her cell and entered cautiously. He was quite certain that she was unconscious but he was reluctant to make a mistake and face the wrath of the Dark Lord. She didn't stir at his approach. He put a covered tray of food and water on the floor just inside the cell door. Relaxing slightly, he knelt beside her and injected her with basic sustaining nutrients and a mixture of drugs that had been carefully selected by Consain. She winced reflexively at the sting of the hypo but didn't wake. Reviewing the instructions from Consain, the acolyte, opened the Jedi's mouth and slipped several small chunks of ice inside. Closing her mouth he moved her slightly to ensure that she wouldn't choke and left the cell. He doubted she would touch the tray but it was to be left for her according to Consain's instructions. He reactivated the forcefield and returned to his monitoring station in the Detention Area.
Carian was pulled to her feet abruptly by two Sith guards. She looked around disoriented. She had been dreaming and when she tried to remember the dream, it slipped from her memory. She shook her head to clear her mind. The guards shoved her roughly towards a tray that was just inside the door of her cell. Unsteady, Carian fell to her knees by the tray.
"You are to be given the chance to eat and drink if you wish," one of the guards told her.
Carian looked at the food, looked longingly at the water. Her throat was somewhat sore but not as bad as she'd expected. She swallowed experimentally. Keeping her back to the guards so that they couldn't see the regret in her eyes, she shook her head.
"No, I…I don't want it," Carian said quietly, her voice a bit hoarse but much better than before.
"Let's go then," the guard said impatiently and they each grabbed her arms and hauled her up. Finding that she could walk, and wanted that movement, she allowed them to lead her out of the cell. Carian had a very good idea of where she was heading and quailed before the thought of another session with Consain.
'There is no Emotion, there is Peace
There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge
There is no Passion there is Serenity
There is no Chaos There is Harmony
There is no Death, there is the Force' Carian recited to herself as the guards led her through the corridors.
'There is no Emotion, there is Peace
There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge
There is no Passion there is Serenity
There is no Chaos There is Harmony
There is no Death, there is the Force
There is no Emotion, there is Peace
There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge
There is no Passion-' Carian's attempt to draw strength from the Jedi Code was interrupted by a smug voice.
"I told you I would see you again, little Jedi," Consain greeted her, gesturing impatiently for the guards to leave them.
"There is Serenity," Carian started to continue aloud. She broke off with a gasp as Consain gripped her upper arms forcefully, pulling her close to him and looking down at her with a complacent smile.
"There's no Serenity here, little Jedi," Consain stated flatly. He could hear her breathing coming in quick, sharp gasps and as he moved one hand up to her throat, he could feel her pulse racing.
"I-let-let me go, Sith," Carian sputtered angrily. She struggled in his grasp, and even though she had regained much of her strength, she couldn't break his hold on her.
"Finding that Serenity yet, Revan?" he asked her, grinning roguishly.
"Unhand me!!" she cried out. "Oh great, as if Mission wasn't bad enough, now I'm going to start sounding like Bastila, wonderful!" Carian thought wryly.
"Unhand me?" Consain repeated, laughing. With one hand he caught both of hers and gripped them tightly, stopping her repeated attempts to claw at him.
Angry at being mocked and frustrated at her inability to escape from this man, Carian resorted to the only thing she could think of.
"Brainless, lice-ridden bantha!!! Drooling Bomarr cast-off!!" she shouted angrily at the large Sith holding her firmly against him.
Consain laughed harder; he'd never encountered a Jedi like this one. Ignoring her continued verbal assault, he pushed her easily into the cage and activated the forcefield.
He stalked over to the console and activated the torture field program. It was a higher setting than the previous session but continued with the varying intensities accompanied by the subliminal recordings.
'ThereisnoChaosThereisHarmony, ThereisnoDeath,ThereistheForce' Carian rushed to get through the final part of the Code, knowing that she had moments before she was incapable of thought. 'Thereis-' she started again. The field activated and her last thought was "No, not again."
Carian's screams filled the small room. Consain watched her struggle for a few moments then wandered to his desk to enter her creative insults on his datapad. He reviewed the notes that he'd received from Sorn Gundo over in the Detention Area. Apparently the Jedi had slept poorly. She'd had dreams almost the entire afternoon and night. From what Gundo could hear and see, the dreams had been upsetting. She'd writhed and cried out often in her sleep. The recordings seemed to be working then. It was interesting that she was fighting it so much. He outlined his impressions of her progress up to this point into his datapad.
Time had no meaning for Carian. She never knew how long she was in the torture cage and never could tell how long she slept afterwards. It was the same each time. She'd be dragged to Consain's chambers and subjected to his physical and mental torture. Half-conscious, she would be returned to her cell where she collapsed in mental, emotional and physical exhaustion. She never felt rested after sleeping. She thought she might be dreaming but she couldn't remember the dreams in any way. There was always the offer of food and water, which she refused with increasing difficulty each time. She was certain that she was not supposed to die so they wouldn't let her starve herself and she couldn't bring herself to eat the food provided by the Sith.
Consain was pleased with his progress with Revan. She had just been brought back to her cell after a particularly difficult session. While the sessions were difficult on Revan, he was enjoying himself immensely. Revan was a stubborn woman and resisted them at every opportunity. Of course, they were sabotaging her meagre efforts at resistance but she would learn that soon enough. He finished his notes and left the torture chamber.
Consain decided to head for the mess hall. After the sessions with Revan, he often found he was hungry. He usually ate alone, having found that the common soldiers were uncomfortable in his presence. He suspected that they feared him. That was fine with him. Let them fear him, he had no patience for the common soldiers as it was. The mess hall was almost deserted. He spotted a couple of soldiers and a couple of officers.
"Gamorrean pig-man, hairless Wookie…" Consain was chuckling quietly. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and almost knocked over one of the officers. He was a dark haired man, one that Consain hadn't seen on this ship very often. Not that he had much reason to come here, but he had a good idea of who was on the ship.
The captain scowled at him in irritation, and started to brush past him. He stopped suddenly, turning back to Consain, he spoke. "What did you just say?" he asked.
Consain sighed inwardly. "It wasn't directed at you Captain…," he replied evenly, recognizing the man's rank from his uniform. He deliberately left the question in the air, eyeing the smaller man appraisingly.
"Captain Carth Onasi," Carth replied impatiently. "Never mind that, what did you say?" he repeated.
Sighing aloud this time, Consain replied "I was just remembering something said to me recently. My exact words, I believe, were Gamorrean pig-man and Hairless Wookie!" he replied with more patience than he felt.
"Hmm, who would be foolish enough to insult a man your size? I'm sorry; I didn't get your name." Carth asked, trying to hide his curiosity.
"Likely because I didn't give it, Captain," Consain replied. Seeing Carth's raised eyebrow, he continued. "They call me Consain. As for your first question, nothing she says or does surprises me any longer," he said, hoping to end the conversation so he could have a meal in peace.
"She?" Carth asked. "Wait…Consain…" he frowned, trying to remember where he'd heard that name. "Oh, right. You're the torturer aren't you?" Seeing the big man's impatient nod, Carth continued. "I'll leave you to get your meal momentarily. I have an interest in someone who was recently brought in. I'm assuming she's in...ah...your care. I'd like to see Revan. I'm the one who brought her in and I'd like to see her, see how she progresses along the path to the Dark Side," Carth continued.
Consain's eyebrows shot up in surprise but he said nothing. Consain was certain there was more to it, but he was not in a position to question or deny the Captain. If he wished to see Revan, it was his right. After all, if the Dark Lord would be notified of all of Revan's activities and if she had a problem with this Onasi seeing Revan, then the Captain would pay the price. He'd received no instructions about keeping anyone specific away from her.
"Certainly Captain," he answered. "She is being held in the Detention Area and that is where she is now. But perhaps you'd rather wait until I have another session with her. You can speak to her in more privacy if you like," Consain offered. He hoped to see for himself what the connection was between Onasi and Revan. He would bet a year's savings in credits that it was more than just captive and captor.
"Ahh, sure. During one of your sessions would be fine," Carth agreed.
"Fine. I'll send you information with times and where exactly my office is," Consain said briskly, starting to turn away. He turned back towards the Captain, "One last thing," he said to the Captain, "I suggest you come at the beginning of the sessions I list for you. She's not generally terribly talkative later on," he said with a smile.
Carth watched the big man get his meal and seat himself at a table alone. His own meal having just been finished, Carth left the mess hall and headed for the Detention Area. He remembered the torture on the Leviathan. Carian could have stopped him from being tortured but she was unwilling to betray the Republic, unwilling to betray the Jedi. "Unlike me," he thought bitterly to himself. He wondered how she could bear it without giving in to her Dark Side. She had always been strong. He'd admired and respected that about her, even as he was handing her over to the Sith.
He reached the Detention Area and ignored the curious gazes of the guards and Sorn Gundo. The acolyte approached him to ask if he could be of any assistance. Carth waved him away. He found her cell easily. He stopped outside it and looked at her through the forcefield. She still wore her Jedi robes but they were dirty and sweat stained. She was lying on the floor of the cell in a crumpled heap, with her face turned away from him.
As he watched, she cried out with a nightmare and pushed at some unknown foe. She called out unintelligibly a few more times and subsided into silence. Gundo appeared beside him. "Don't try to wake her, sir." he requested. "If you need to question her, we can arrange…." he trailed off, seeing that the officer wasn't listening to him but watching the Jedi closely.
"Is her sleep always like this?" Carth asked, wondering if it was part of Consain's plan.
"Yes sir, she hasn't had a good night's rest since she arrived," Gundo replied in satisfaction.
"Let me in. I want to see her better. I won't wake her or do anything to disturb her" Carth ordered.
"But, sir, I really shouldn't…" he began uneasily, and trailed off, reflecting that this was a Captain in the Sith fleet after all and there were no instructions barring him from seeing her.
"I captured her. I brought her here. I wish to see her. Lower the forcefield," Carth insisted.
"Yes Captain," Gundo answered, walking over the side console near her cell and lowered the forcefield. "I'll leave it down; she's not likely to wake up while you're here."
"Right," Carth agreed, not paying attention to the acolyte. He entered the tiny cell and approached Carian. Her breathing was ragged and harsh. Evidently she was still in the grip of some terrible dream. He sat down beside her, in the cramped cell and looked down into her face. He could see tears streaking her cheeks and he started to reach out to wipe them away, as he had so many times before. He withdrew his hand and sat watching her sleep.
'You never did do well with bad dreams beautiful,' he thought to himself, remembering Dantooine. She had come down the loading ramp of the Ebon Hawk shortly after Bastila. Her face had been white, with dark circles under her eyes. She had seemed dazed and unfocused, just like Bastila. When he asked her about it, she'd replied that she'd had a rough night and cut off any further questions about it.
Now, as on Dantooine, she was unnaturally pale. There were dark smudges under her eyes and she looked so very vulnerable, not at all like a former Dark Lord of the Sith.
He glowered down at her as thoughts of Revan reminded him of everything that had happened. She was a Dark Lord and she bore part of the responsibility for the death of Morgana and the loss of Dustil. Thousands had died at her command. Now, she lay here in a cell, captive to those she once commanded because she refused to take her rightful place as Dark Lord of the Sith.
"Carth…no…not…don't…not….Dustil," Carian's murmured words brought him back to the present. He looked quizzically at the young woman. Dustil was safe. Why should she be having a nightmare of what sounded like him harming Dustil? A buried part of him felt a flash of pride when he thought of Dustil. One would think that Carth would have wanted him to join the Sith on Korriban, but the Carth Onasi that had loved his wife and son, and been loyal to the Republic once upon a time could only ensure that his son didn't join the Sith, didn't follow in his footsteps. It was what Morgana would have wanted for him. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the direction these thoughts could inevitably take him.
He saw that Carian was crying again. Perhaps she had dreamed some terrible fate had befallen Dustil at his hands. He doubted that she would cry for him, not anymore.
He stood slowly, quietly. 'I'll see you soon, gorgeous' he told her silently and left the cell. He motioned to Gundo to reactivate the forcefield and left the Detention Area.
Carth returned to his quarters. His mind was filled with memories. He didn't know what he'd been thinking, going to see her. What had he hoped to accomplish? He heard his door chime and opening it, accepted a datapad from a guard. Glancing at it, he saw that it contained a various times for him to see Carian in that Consain's office, as he'd called it.
Wearily, Carth stripped off his uniform and stretched out on the bed. He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the image of her face but even as he tried to sleep, he continued to see her face. He fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed.
Carth could see the devastation of Telos from the air. The ships that were part of the task force seemed to land in slow motion. When Carth was finally off the ship, time seemed to slow down even more. He can hear the screams of the dying as he runs to his house. Acrid smoke fills his lungs. His part of the city has been hardest hit. The closer he gets to his house, the more silent it is.
His breathing is harsh and ragged. Carth can hear it mix with the sound of his heart pounding in his chest as his he races towards home, towards the worst of the devastation.
The dream is always the same. He will hear her as he turns the corner. He doesn't want to turn the corner. He doesn't want to find her because the dream always ends the same.
His legs are carrying him around the corner and he can hear the soft sobbing. He can hear her soft sobbing. He knows the sobbing is his, knowing that he's too late. It was always the same. He was always too late. He can never save her.
Carth frantically moves aside debris and finds her, finds Carian in the destruction of Telos, dying, gazing up at him with accusing eyes. Her face changes and its Morgana accusing him. He hears their voices blending, mixing, "Why did you betray me Carth? Why have you become one of the people who killed me?"
It's Carian again and he's pleading with her not to die, not to let it all happen again. The tears stream down her cheeks as she gazes at him silently and he watches the life fade from her body.
Carth jerked awake with a gasp. He shook his head to clear the images from his mind but even as he lay down to try to snatch a few more hours of sleep, he could still see Carian looking sorrowfully at him.