I thank god for sending me her everyday, both my angels, Faith and now my daughter Elaria.. and at five years old now she is turning out to be a true Daddy's little girl, everywhere I go she wants to go with me, I go to the range she wants to come... I go fishing on the weekends she wants to come and sit in the boat with me.. I go to the house to grab something from our desk and she is right behind me like a shadow, her little blonde ponytail bouncing as she runs ahead of me to leap into Swersky's arms with a big hug for her "Uncle Lieu" at the precinct picnics she would play with Adam, Ty and Sasha's little boy, another spitting image of Ty himself and always when she got hurt she would get up and brush it off.. and then she would come running to me.

Every night she gets me to tuck her in, she wont let Faith do it.. it has to be daddy, only daddy can do it and with a sigh she kisses her on the forehead and I watch as her little arms wrap around her in a 5 year olds version of a bear hug and I sit on the side of her bed, listening to her say her prayers and I also say mine.. thanking God for sending me this little miracle.. a symbol of our love, and I tuck the corners in around her and she reaches out and hugs me goodnight and turns her head to plant a kiss on my mouth, it's a soft peck and then she'll say

"Goodnight Daddy.. I love you"

I have never been a huge fan of kids.. all their cutesy little ways used to make me feel uncomfortable and then we had Elaria and everything just didn't matter anymore, God acts in strange ways.. Elaria wasn't planned.. we had just started to seriously date, Faith's divorce was finalized and she had partial custody of Em and Charlie and we had decided that another baby wasn't such a good thing for us.. I mean we had her two kids and I would be just as much a father figure, well uncle figure that I have always been in their life, and then that fateful night where it broke... I don't think I will ever forget that night... and the following month after... she tried that pill but she still somehow got pregnant with Elaria and that's when we decided that this was intentional and well God wanted us to have this baby weather we liked it or not, and well its been a blessing in disguise, I got to marry the only woman that I have ever truly loved and now we share the most beautiful little girl, one who always makes me stare back in wonder.

Images come flooding back to me, the time we were in Central park and they had pony rides and Elaria wanted to go on one because it was "like your Mustang daddy.. I want to ride my own Mustang" and she wanted me to walk beside her as she got on the animals back, one hand on the reins and the other in mine as we walked in a circle several times, her face lit up in joy and Faith snapping the camera as she was leaning on the rail beaming... Pulling her off the pony she looked up at me and smiled.

"Daddy that was nothing like the horseie on the merry-go-round... I think I like that horseie better..."

Laughing and picking her up in my arms we walk off to the carousel. Her little blond head covered in white flowers that Faith had put there gleaming in the sun.

55

"Happy Birthday Daddy!!"

Her little voice rings in my ears as a lopsided chocolate cake with haphazard icing is placed in front of me.. the D's are all backwards and a couple of the a's have the stem on the wrong side but its perfect, its perfect because Elaria made it for me, I have to hurry to blow the candles out because they are sliding off the cake because of the angle they are at and all Faith can do is sit there and laugh at the look on my face.

"I made it myself Daddy.. well Mommy helped me put it in the oven but I made it myself!"

the proud look on her face along with the smudge of chocolate across her face from where she had licked the spoon and missed her mouth was still there as she hopped into my lap and helped me bow out the candles, one of the little white flowers from her hair falling into the icing.

And still everynight she wont let anyone else but me tuck her in, and every night she kisses me goodnight, and every morning I am greeted with a big hug from her, its things like this that I feel blessed for... I was scared when we first had her.. well I was scared because I was petrified about turning into my own father, and I swore that I would never raise a hand to this child.. I would treat this child with every ounce of love that she deserved and that along with Faith we would provide her with a happy childhood...

55

Elaria turned 16 today, we had a huge party for her with all her friends, I watched as she opened her presents and talked about boys, make-up, movies, and everything else a 16 year old would have talked about with her friends.

I find myself wondering more and more these days where the hell the time had gone... its seems like yesterday that I was holding her hand on the Carousel as it twirled around and around, her squeals of joy ringing in my ears.. and now my baby, my precious little girl was turning 16,

Adam was still coming around to see her, they were still close friends and she would confide in him everything that she wouldn't confide in anyone else, I was happy to see that at least she had one good friend that would help her keep on the straight and narrow.. well that and she knows that she could never do anything like that to hurt me, and I would hang her from the roof if she ever did.

"Daddy, Adam and I are going out to the movie now. I wont be home late."

I look up from the book that I was reading to see my little girl.. well not so little anymore come bounding down the stairs and into the living room to kiss me on the cheek. As she stands back I look at her from head to toe and realize that she maybe my little girl but she is a spitting image of Faith, her face structure but my eyes, her nose with a hint of my mouth... and every way a young lady and still with the white flowers braided into her long blonde hair.

I turn to Faith who just walked into the room and pull her into my embrace and I breathe in the soft scent of her hair...

"God Faith where the hell did the time go? It seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital and now she is 16... where the hell did the time go? I think that I just blinked and missed it all.."

I feel her arms tighten around me and I feel her shoulders heave with her sigh

"I know Boz... that is the second little girl that I have had to watch grow up too fast.. I wish I could keep them little forever.. but we raised her right Boz.. she has a good head on her shoulders and Adam knows what will happen to him if he does anything stupid..."

I laugh softly to myself and we head up to bed together.

I hear the door shut softly and I look at the clock its almost midnight, soft footsteps up the staircase and a dim light in the hall tells me that she's home, waiting until the light goes out I gently lift Faith's hand from my side and climb out of bed, creeping down the hall I peek into Elaria's room she is sound asleep in her bed, tiptoeing into the room I bend over her bed and kiss her softly on the forehead and tuck her in, the way I have been doing it for years and as I am leaving the room I hear a soft voice say to me

"I love you Daddy"

55

"Daddy its almost time"

I look around the room and my eyes land on my Daughter... she looks beautiful in her white dress and veil.. I am still finding it hard to believe that today I have to give my only Daughter away.. I have been dreading this day ever since I realized that she was no longer my little girl.. that she had become a woman, full of the grace and beauty that her mother passed down to her. Today she was marrying Adam.. and now it was moments to the ceremony and I get the privilege of walking her down the isle and the sad moment of giving her away to another man.

"Are you allright Dad? What's on your mind?"

"I'm not sure"

I feel like I am loosing her... although she will always be my little girl.. she is giving herself to another man, its ripping my heart out to know that after today she will no longer be a Boscorelli...

She walked over to me and kissed me softly on the mouth like she used to do when I tucked her in at night and took the baby's breath from my corsage and placed it in her hair under the veil. Behind her I saw Faith standing at the door nodding at me and wiping the tears away from her eyes, this is the second daughter that she has had to watch grow up and the second daughter that she has had to watch get married.

"Daddy its time to walk me down the isle, does my dress look allright?"

I nod my head and feel the tears slip past my eyes and roll freely down my cheek, Elaria sniffles and wipes my eyes with her hand, I watch as my tears soak into the silk of her gloves.

"Daddy I love you.. there is no other person on this planet that I can think of that I would want as my Father.. you and mom both taught me right, instilled in me a sense of values and taught me right from wrong and you both loved me..."

she sniffles again and I wipe the tear from the corner of her eye with the grey silk cravat, in the background we hear the wedding march being played and she takes my hand.

"Daddy its time to go"

Taking her arm in mine we walk to the door of the church and down the isle between the standing people to the alter where Adam waits to make my little girl his wife.

Reaching the alter I place her hand in Adam's and before I go to take my place next to Faith I feel a gentle pull on my arm and then her voice in my ear...

"I love you Daddy."