DISCLAIMER: I don't own LOTR or Jack Sparrow – there I said it ... ok?
A/N:
Morgan Murdock: Yuh, I'll try to make them a little more independent in da next chappie they don't really come in here. No, none of the fellowship is goin' 2 get involved... er... romantically. If I did that, not only would my best friend completely throttle me, but I think about half of my class would too. And they're not exactly going to join the fellowship....
Rochon Methestel: Yes, this is the kind of story where I make the characters the most unbelievably stupid ones possible... It's very entertaining as a writer, because, Keikæ, Laila and Bex are based on 3 people I know, although they don't skate around nicking random police officers wallets. I completely agree, Brenda Bender is a complete git.
dab mossflower : Is the cliffhanger good? Blimey I had no idea.
I.H.N: Staggers under weight of review Wow Big review... Thanx! Yep, as I've said Before, I will try 2 make them more individual, but probably in a later chapter. I'm trying to avoid staying with the elves for too long. It's been done too many times before. The idea is that they do get into a lot of trouble, but later on there'll be a bit of sympathy, memories and sensitivity on Keik's 'profile' if you like. Oh, and I'm trying to steer all 3 of them clear of the higher ranking random kinda peeps.
Allasea2: Thanx for reviewing... again! Seeming as you're such a good reviewer, Every Argh! Swash, Swash, Buckle, Buckle! Is dedicated to you.
Jupiter's light: Oh yeah, I mean Aye! Same goes for you if you keep reviewing!
Padme the 2nd: Aye! And you too! ... If you keep reviewing... FRENCH INVENTORS OF MAYONAISE!!!!!
P.S If you want to understand the completely random and insane lingo I write, check out my profile page.
P.P.S If anyone wants Brenda Benders review really offensive and wants it taken off, please Email me or get someone to email to say so.
Phew. Longest Authors note yet...
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Chapter 5 - Ahh! Too many elves!!
Keikæ: Bloody hell!
Random-Elf-#1: You're, friends were so loud, we could have shot them in the dark. This was said by a tall blonde elf. An elf! I must be going crazy. Good look-alike, though. Unfortunately, most Elves around here must've been tall and blonde because I couldn't tell one from another. I didn't recognise him from the films, though.
Keikæ: Oh, no. Nope, this isn't happening, nope, I refuse to believe it.
::Who the hell would set you up like this? It couldn't have been Laila or Bex – they could've never had got this many people to help. Whatever, I'll just play along, acting like Jack Sparrow.::
Keikæ: Um... Er... well, that's nice to know – I'll just be on my way.
I motioned to the side. Of course, the arrows followed me.
"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. She is here, she is waiting...."
I had now decided to call this guy Random-Elf-Dude-#1. Or Elf-Boy for short.
Keikæ: Dude, that is so unfair!
::Where are best friends when you need them? -Keeks! You're meant to be Jack Sparrow, savvy?::
Keikæ: Um... Savvy?
I was half-hopeful, seeing how sharp the arrows were by poking them. Not the best idea, as, believe me, they were sharp.
"Salad?"
Keikæ: Er... Yeah! I mean Aye! Savvy?
::Where the hell did that come from?::
I had no idea what I was saying. Sure, Laila quotes every single line 24/7 but I still didn't get what it all meant.
"What is your business here?" He asked warily.
Keikæ: Er...
::What's Jack?::
Keikæ: Pirate!
"Pirate..." He sounded confused,
Keikæ: Aye, Captain Keikæ Sparrow.
"Keikæ Sparrow?"
Keikæ: Captain Keikæ Sparrow, if you please.
"Well, I don't see your ship... Captain."
::What's the line what's the line what's the line?::
Keikæ: Oh, I'm er... in the market, as it were.
::Please let that be the right line.::
"And where are your friends?"
Keikæ: Friends?
The answer was written all over my face. I felt strong hands bind mine behind my back. My long knife was taken away from me. Galadriel appeared. There seemed to be a glow around her. I gawped. Why the hell would she be here? She's an Elf. Living in Middle Earth. And I am definitely not in middle earth. I still gawped.
::Bloody hell! Close your mouth Keeks, you probably look like a goldfish – you're meant to be acting like Jack, not Elizabeth!::
Galadriel: They are here. They have been following, watching....
During her speech, I stepped over my bound hands so they were in front of me.
"We are not alone...." She concluded.
Keikæ: Finally!
As she turned around, I slid my hands over her head, half strangling her.
"No! Don't shoot!" I heard one of the elves say. I whispered quietly in her ear.
Keikæ: Look, in advance, I am really, truly sorry for anything that I do or if I harm anyone in any way. To elves My effects, if you please – and me 'at.
I was given my knife and Bex' grubby hat.
Keikæ: You see,
I took a step back
You will always remember this-
I checked over my shoulder
As the day that-
Another step
You almost caught-
I got ready to release Galadriel
Capt'n Keikæ Sparrow."
I released Galadriel, shoved her towards them and dived into the lake, grabbed onto the end of the rope that was thrown to me from the Jet Ski, and let myself be pulled to my feet with the speed. I saluted to them.
::God – did you suckers really think you could catch me?::
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I'm sorry I make elves seem like really evil people. I'll be nicer in a later chapter (NOT next chapter) Thank you for reading & reviewing. Be a nice reviewer and... do the 2nd 'r' a bit more!
ASSBB
Kess ;P