Disclaimer: Yet again, I shall state that Seventh Heaven is in no way, shape, or form mine. I just kill off the characters in needlessly violent, twisted stories. BUT, Liver Stix are, in fact, of my own invention, as are Super-spy glasses. So don't use them. (I can't really see why you'd want to, anyway).
Lucy was whining. Again. However, in a bizarre twist of fate, she actually had something logical to whine about.
Kevin looked up from his impromptu make-out session with Roxanne. He hadn't noticed Lucy when she barged through the door after seeing them with her Super-spy glasses while she hid in the tree outside the window.
"Lucy, what are you doing?" asked Kevin as he struggled to put his shirt back on.
"What am I doing?!" Screamed Lucy shrilly. "I think the question is- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Her cheeks jiggled up and down menacingly.
"All these years..." she continued. "I've ALWAYS been overly protective of you, and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED NOW, you...you...!"
"Lucy," Kevin crooned in a syrupy voice. "Honey-doodle snooky-buns. It's not my fault I'm an unfaithful creep! I mean, look at what you've done to drive me away. You expected me to be yours and only yours." He chuckled. "Hon, a man's gotta 'sow his oats,' if you know what I'm saying."
Lucy was still pouting. But she felt better. Though it was painfully obvious to Roxanne that Kevin had been conditioning Lucy for years leading up to the day when she would inevitably catch him with another woman, Lucy wasn't remotely as bright as Roxanne, so she remained in the dark.
Just then, Martin's creepy Aunt Betsy traipsed into the room wearing knee-high white boots and the shortest skirt Lucy had ever seen.
"Hey Kevy-wevy," squeaked Betsy. "What are you doing with the Democrat?" Betsy smirked at Roxanne.
"Oh, nothing, babe!" Kevin exclaimed. "You know I love you and ONLY you."
"You lying, filthy RAT!" Shouted Roxanne. "You cheated on me and Lucy with her. How dare you!"
"Oh yeah," said Betsy in prissy voice. "What are you going to do about it?"
Roxanne wasted no time in grabbing Happy's Liver Stix from the bedside table. They were marked "Poison!" No one knew why they were on the bedside table, and no one bothered to ask. But Roxanne didn't care. She shoved them down Betsy's throat and watched her turn a sickly green and die almost immediately.
Roxanne stood over the dead body shaking.
"You didn't have to do that, you know!" Kevin said. "You could have slapped her. That would have been funny."
"Augh!" Screamed Roxanne in an exasperated tone. "You sicko!" She jumped on his back and pummeled him to the best of her ability. Her ability was above average. A little too much above average. They both tumbled out the window and fell to their deaths.
Lucy had become extremely distraught throughout this ordeal. Her tiny brain was working so hard to process all this startling new information that she began to go into over-drive. Her cheeks quivered at a frightening rate.
"Kevin...Roxanne...dead," She though in distress. "Betsy...green." Her cheeks quivered faster and faster. They wouldn't stop! They began to smoke.
"Augh!" She screamed. "Someone help me! They're gonna blow!"
It was too late for her or her freakish, chipmunk-esque features. "Boom!" went her cheeks. "Pop!" went Lucy. She was dead.
Lucy was whining. Again. However, in a bizarre twist of fate, she actually had something logical to whine about.
Kevin looked up from his impromptu make-out session with Roxanne. He hadn't noticed Lucy when she barged through the door after seeing them with her Super-spy glasses while she hid in the tree outside the window.
"Lucy, what are you doing?" asked Kevin as he struggled to put his shirt back on.
"What am I doing?!" Screamed Lucy shrilly. "I think the question is- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Her cheeks jiggled up and down menacingly.
"All these years..." she continued. "I've ALWAYS been overly protective of you, and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED NOW, you...you...!"
"Lucy," Kevin crooned in a syrupy voice. "Honey-doodle snooky-buns. It's not my fault I'm an unfaithful creep! I mean, look at what you've done to drive me away. You expected me to be yours and only yours." He chuckled. "Hon, a man's gotta 'sow his oats,' if you know what I'm saying."
Lucy was still pouting. But she felt better. Though it was painfully obvious to Roxanne that Kevin had been conditioning Lucy for years leading up to the day when she would inevitably catch him with another woman, Lucy wasn't remotely as bright as Roxanne, so she remained in the dark.
Just then, Martin's creepy Aunt Betsy traipsed into the room wearing knee-high white boots and the shortest skirt Lucy had ever seen.
"Hey Kevy-wevy," squeaked Betsy. "What are you doing with the Democrat?" Betsy smirked at Roxanne.
"Oh, nothing, babe!" Kevin exclaimed. "You know I love you and ONLY you."
"You lying, filthy RAT!" Shouted Roxanne. "You cheated on me and Lucy with her. How dare you!"
"Oh yeah," said Betsy in prissy voice. "What are you going to do about it?"
Roxanne wasted no time in grabbing Happy's Liver Stix from the bedside table. They were marked "Poison!" No one knew why they were on the bedside table, and no one bothered to ask. But Roxanne didn't care. She shoved them down Betsy's throat and watched her turn a sickly green and die almost immediately.
Roxanne stood over the dead body shaking.
"You didn't have to do that, you know!" Kevin said. "You could have slapped her. That would have been funny."
"Augh!" Screamed Roxanne in an exasperated tone. "You sicko!" She jumped on his back and pummeled him to the best of her ability. Her ability was above average. A little too much above average. They both tumbled out the window and fell to their deaths.
Lucy had become extremely distraught throughout this ordeal. Her tiny brain was working so hard to process all this startling new information that she began to go into over-drive. Her cheeks quivered at a frightening rate.
"Kevin...Roxanne...dead," She though in distress. "Betsy...green." Her cheeks quivered faster and faster. They wouldn't stop! They began to smoke.
"Augh!" She screamed. "Someone help me! They're gonna blow!"
It was too late for her or her freakish, chipmunk-esque features. "Boom!" went her cheeks. "Pop!" went Lucy. She was dead.