Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing meaning 7th Heaven or it's characters or plots. (Though I would support the writers if they did an episode in which everyone dies).
A/N: Hey all. Thanks for the reviews!
Mary Camden was thinking, a process that she had yet to fully master.
"I've got it," she said aloud. "I'll go trash the school gym. Again! Only, this time, I won't get caught. Buahahaha! It's PERFECT!" She clapped her hands and bounced up and down.
The passengers on her flight cowered in fear. They had never met an insane stewardess, and didn't care to hear about her stupid plans. They also could have skipped listening to her tell about her flakiness over the intercom at the beginning of the flight.
"This is, like, my worst nightmare," muttered Paris. "Stuck in a plane with some creep-o stewardess." She was returning from her trip to the Bahamas with Chandler. They had eloped, bringing along only Peter and Geoffrey, that annoying kid Chandler had randomly adopted to further a plot that hadn't been going anywhere in the first place.
"Don't worry, my little honey-cheeks frosting-lips," whispered Chandler in as sexy a voice he could muster. "The flight's almost over."
Suddenly, a male passenger jumped out of the seat in front of them. It was Vic, Paris's obnoxious drunk of an ex.
"Hey! Only I can call her frosting lips," he said loudly. "She was supposed to marry me! Again!"
Paris rolled her eyes.
"Oh, and I suppose that blonde in the bikini sitting next to you would be in the wedding party?"
"Um, yeah," Vic lied poorly. "She would be the Maid of...of...uh...what's it called? Oh yeah! Spawner! Maid of Spawner." Vic puffed out his chest proudly.
Chandler stepped between Vic and Paris and attempted to defend his girl. This had been lesson five in the Sexy Lessons Kevin had been giving him before he died.
"Hey, I don't want any trouble here, so..." Chandler began. But Vic had opened the hatch that led outside the plane and was threatening to jump.
"Paris," Vic said. "If you don't marry me, I swear I'll jump!"
"Please do," Paris said in an annoyed tone.
"Fine, then," Vic spoke. "I will!" He leaped from the plane and could be seen trying to flap his arms in hopes they would sprout into wings.
Geoffrey raced to the door. "Daddy," He screamed. "You're my real father, Vic!" He, too, jumped out of the plane in a sad attempt to find someone who could actually stand him and his annoying personality.
"Geoffrey! You get back here right now, you hear?" Chandler shouted out the door. The plane lurched and Chandler tumbled into the sky.
"CHANDLER!" Screamed Paris. "Here I come, baby!" Paris leaped out the door in the sexiest manner possible.
Meanwhile, the cabin had lost all it's pressure, not to mention air. All the passengers wore the masks that popped down from the overhead compartment. All, that is, except for Mary. Mary was sitting in the fetal position mumbling "The wombats! Heh heh heh. Here they come." She was dead within the minute.
From the ground, four soft thumps could be heard.
Peter sat in shock. He was the only surviving member of his family.
"Boom!" went the plane. "Pop!" went Peter. Spontaneous Combustion. Don't you hate it?