A/N: Here we go. Alec and Ella! The beginnings of anyway. Thanks again to
Dari and Ting and all other reviewers you've been brilliant! This chapter
explains about the control chip and goes into Ella's less than perfect
past.
Chapter Seven: Attempting to say the words.
Alec took his time going back to his and Ella's apartment. His mind was reeling he couldn't. no. He couldn't.
'HEY!!!' Ella grinned widely at him from the sofa.
'Hey.' Alec replied, smiling in return and pushing the question out of his mind.
'It worked. That bastard actually gave me the cure!'
'Thank God.' Alec answered and hugged Ella warmly. Ignoring the momentary thrill her closeness gave him.
'I know. Love's wonderful isn't it?'
'Yeah sure.' Ella met Alec's eyes and he wondered if she could guess what was going on in his mind.
'You ok?' He nodded and attempted to change the subject.
'Why have you got a control chip?' Ella grinned again and said in a mock childish voice;
'You know Lydecker?'
'Uhuh'
'You know the scar on his face?'
'Again uhuh'
'That was me.' Alec's eyes widened, she'd attacked Lydecker? Jesus, that girl had more spunk that he'd given her credit for.
'Wow. Why?' Ella's face faltered. She froze and looked complete terrified for a second. Then the expression vanished and was replaced one Alec knew very well. The closed, walled look.
'Ella?' she turned and left the room. Not caring that Alec was calling her name. She slammed and locked the door behind her, tears falling on to her face. She threw herself down on the bed and slept.
'177. A word.'
'Yes Sir.'
'I've heard that you and 156 have been spending time outside of training. Is that correct?'
'No Sir.'
'Don't lie to me 177.'
'Not lying Sir.'
'You are. I know you and 156 have spend many nights out of bunks. Talking.'
'Sir.'
'Be quiet. 156 has admitted it, do you?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Good. You're next training mission is to eliminate 156.'
'NO!!!'
'177. We have means of making you 177.'
'I WON'T KILL MY BEST FRIEND!!!!'
'ELLA!!!' Alec shook the girl awake. She sat up, shaking worse than she had been when Donavon had used the control chip.
'Alec?' She had her eyes tight shut but she was clinging tightly to him.
'Yes, it's me. What's happening?' Alec ad heard her screaming; calling out.
'Lydecker, Donavon, the chip. Made me kill, I didn't want to. I couldn't. she. told me.' Ella broke off sobbing again. Alec cradled her in his arms whispering quietly to her as she cried.
'Donavon forced me, then he took me, 156; my friend.' Alec froze. She was telling him about Manticore. About her past. 'He used the chip to. make me. sex. Then Lydecker ordered. the chip. She asked too. Oh God. I murdered my best friend.'
Alec sucked air in through his teeth; that explained why Ella hated letting people close. She was scared she hurt them.
'Donavon used the control chip to make you have sex with him?' Ella shuddered in response and Alec took that for a yes. 'Then he made you kill, 156, your friend?' another shudder. 'What did she ask you to do? Kill her?' Ella shook her head slowly. The tears had almost stopped. She took a few deep breaths and managed to slow her shaking.
'She asked me to live. For her sake.' Alec remembered the words. Max had said them, Zack had asked her to do the same.
'Are you?' Alec's question surprised him and, obviously, Ella.
'What?'
'Are you?' He repeated. Ella shook her head slowly and the tears began to fall again.
'Hey, I'm sorry.' Alec said feeling incredibly guilty.
'She was so. full of life. She never waited around for anything she went out and got it, if she wanted it. I couldn't ever do that.'
'I bet you could.'
'It's all right for you to sit there saying that. You're the same as she was. You've always got what you want; a good job, girls, friends and people who look up to you!' Ella didn't wait for Alec to reply, much as he wanted to. 'What have I got? A £25,000 debt, friends who are on call 24/7 encase I get my self into more trouble and the only boyfriend I've had tried to rape me!' Ella paused now and suddenly found she couldn't go on. He breath was coming in ragged bursts. ~Would have nothing to do with Alec holding you would it?~ A part of her mind whispered, Ella agreed with it.
'I'm going back to bed.' She whispered, pulling out of Alec's arms. As soon as she did she missed him.
'Night.' Alec whispered. His heart was pounding and his arms ached to be holding Ella again. ~Donavon maybe a pig~ Alec thought, ~and Normal maybe a fool; but there both right about one thing.~ His eyes lingered on Ella's door. ~Is this love? ~
Ella sat alone, cross-legged on her bed. In front of her was her diary, the photo of Alec above it smiling at her. She didn't know quite how the idea of writing a diary had occurred to her; it definitely wasn't something Manticore went into. Although.
Mission reports, Ella had been a fantastic soldier. Lydecker had told her that much when she'd been ordered to murder 156.
'You're our strongest X8! You will not ruin yourself by fraternising with others!'
She shuddered at the memory. Good soldiers got more missions. That meant more mission reports. X8 had been the first transgenic group to use written reports. Having to write everything down without any emotion had driven Ella up the wall. Writing a diary was one way of making sure she wrote her emotions down.
Alec. Oh God! Is this love? What is love? If I am. He thinks I'm his SISTER for crying out loud.
She turned pages on her diary to the entry the night after Donavon's call.
So this is love. It's so strange. My heart beats a thousand times faster when he touches me. When he holds me, it's like. like I've never been safe before. I feel as if nothing could ever hurt me as long as he's got his arms around me. As if there wasn't ever anything I could've wanted before him. Or anything I could ever want after him.
When I saw him with that girl. I could've screamed with jealousy. What chance do I stand with a man girls cue up to be with for just one night???
She loved Alec. Even though she'd never known what love was she knew it now. She was in love. Completely and utterly, with someone who treated her like a little sister! Alec saw her as someone he had to protect and look after; someone who he trusted and could talk to, that was good. But no matter which way she looked at it Alec still saw her as a kid.
Sighing Ella closed the diary resignedly. She stood up and brushed her hair out over her shoulders gently. ~Just get a hold of yourself kid.~ She thought as she did so. ~If you want to do something; if you're going to start something. You'd better be sure about it. ~ Ella met her own eyes in the mirror and noticed the fear in them. ~Great. ~ She thought.
'Alec?' Alec turned and only just held back a gasp. ~Oh Lord she looks good!~
'Yes?'
'I'm sorry. About before, I didn't mean to lay into you like that.' ~Jesus Alec answer her! Come on your mouth does work!'
'It's ok.' ~WELL DONE!~
'Can I ask you something?'
'Sure.'
'What was love like for you?'
'Pardon?'
'With Rachel, I mean. What was it like?' Ella's voice was hesitant.
'Painful.' Alec snapped and walked out of the room. Ella was left watching his bedroom door.
~Cleaver girl. Make him mad at you, great plan.~
~Brilliant Alec, just perfect. Walk out on her, real smooth.~
~Keep this up, kid and you'll never get to tell him you love him. If you still want to?~
~Jeez anyone would think I hated her, she probably thinks I hate her! Great, just what I need, specially when I'm trying to tell her I love her.~
Chapter Seven: Attempting to say the words.
Alec took his time going back to his and Ella's apartment. His mind was reeling he couldn't. no. He couldn't.
'HEY!!!' Ella grinned widely at him from the sofa.
'Hey.' Alec replied, smiling in return and pushing the question out of his mind.
'It worked. That bastard actually gave me the cure!'
'Thank God.' Alec answered and hugged Ella warmly. Ignoring the momentary thrill her closeness gave him.
'I know. Love's wonderful isn't it?'
'Yeah sure.' Ella met Alec's eyes and he wondered if she could guess what was going on in his mind.
'You ok?' He nodded and attempted to change the subject.
'Why have you got a control chip?' Ella grinned again and said in a mock childish voice;
'You know Lydecker?'
'Uhuh'
'You know the scar on his face?'
'Again uhuh'
'That was me.' Alec's eyes widened, she'd attacked Lydecker? Jesus, that girl had more spunk that he'd given her credit for.
'Wow. Why?' Ella's face faltered. She froze and looked complete terrified for a second. Then the expression vanished and was replaced one Alec knew very well. The closed, walled look.
'Ella?' she turned and left the room. Not caring that Alec was calling her name. She slammed and locked the door behind her, tears falling on to her face. She threw herself down on the bed and slept.
'177. A word.'
'Yes Sir.'
'I've heard that you and 156 have been spending time outside of training. Is that correct?'
'No Sir.'
'Don't lie to me 177.'
'Not lying Sir.'
'You are. I know you and 156 have spend many nights out of bunks. Talking.'
'Sir.'
'Be quiet. 156 has admitted it, do you?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Good. You're next training mission is to eliminate 156.'
'NO!!!'
'177. We have means of making you 177.'
'I WON'T KILL MY BEST FRIEND!!!!'
'ELLA!!!' Alec shook the girl awake. She sat up, shaking worse than she had been when Donavon had used the control chip.
'Alec?' She had her eyes tight shut but she was clinging tightly to him.
'Yes, it's me. What's happening?' Alec ad heard her screaming; calling out.
'Lydecker, Donavon, the chip. Made me kill, I didn't want to. I couldn't. she. told me.' Ella broke off sobbing again. Alec cradled her in his arms whispering quietly to her as she cried.
'Donavon forced me, then he took me, 156; my friend.' Alec froze. She was telling him about Manticore. About her past. 'He used the chip to. make me. sex. Then Lydecker ordered. the chip. She asked too. Oh God. I murdered my best friend.'
Alec sucked air in through his teeth; that explained why Ella hated letting people close. She was scared she hurt them.
'Donavon used the control chip to make you have sex with him?' Ella shuddered in response and Alec took that for a yes. 'Then he made you kill, 156, your friend?' another shudder. 'What did she ask you to do? Kill her?' Ella shook her head slowly. The tears had almost stopped. She took a few deep breaths and managed to slow her shaking.
'She asked me to live. For her sake.' Alec remembered the words. Max had said them, Zack had asked her to do the same.
'Are you?' Alec's question surprised him and, obviously, Ella.
'What?'
'Are you?' He repeated. Ella shook her head slowly and the tears began to fall again.
'Hey, I'm sorry.' Alec said feeling incredibly guilty.
'She was so. full of life. She never waited around for anything she went out and got it, if she wanted it. I couldn't ever do that.'
'I bet you could.'
'It's all right for you to sit there saying that. You're the same as she was. You've always got what you want; a good job, girls, friends and people who look up to you!' Ella didn't wait for Alec to reply, much as he wanted to. 'What have I got? A £25,000 debt, friends who are on call 24/7 encase I get my self into more trouble and the only boyfriend I've had tried to rape me!' Ella paused now and suddenly found she couldn't go on. He breath was coming in ragged bursts. ~Would have nothing to do with Alec holding you would it?~ A part of her mind whispered, Ella agreed with it.
'I'm going back to bed.' She whispered, pulling out of Alec's arms. As soon as she did she missed him.
'Night.' Alec whispered. His heart was pounding and his arms ached to be holding Ella again. ~Donavon maybe a pig~ Alec thought, ~and Normal maybe a fool; but there both right about one thing.~ His eyes lingered on Ella's door. ~Is this love? ~
Ella sat alone, cross-legged on her bed. In front of her was her diary, the photo of Alec above it smiling at her. She didn't know quite how the idea of writing a diary had occurred to her; it definitely wasn't something Manticore went into. Although.
Mission reports, Ella had been a fantastic soldier. Lydecker had told her that much when she'd been ordered to murder 156.
'You're our strongest X8! You will not ruin yourself by fraternising with others!'
She shuddered at the memory. Good soldiers got more missions. That meant more mission reports. X8 had been the first transgenic group to use written reports. Having to write everything down without any emotion had driven Ella up the wall. Writing a diary was one way of making sure she wrote her emotions down.
Alec. Oh God! Is this love? What is love? If I am. He thinks I'm his SISTER for crying out loud.
She turned pages on her diary to the entry the night after Donavon's call.
So this is love. It's so strange. My heart beats a thousand times faster when he touches me. When he holds me, it's like. like I've never been safe before. I feel as if nothing could ever hurt me as long as he's got his arms around me. As if there wasn't ever anything I could've wanted before him. Or anything I could ever want after him.
When I saw him with that girl. I could've screamed with jealousy. What chance do I stand with a man girls cue up to be with for just one night???
She loved Alec. Even though she'd never known what love was she knew it now. She was in love. Completely and utterly, with someone who treated her like a little sister! Alec saw her as someone he had to protect and look after; someone who he trusted and could talk to, that was good. But no matter which way she looked at it Alec still saw her as a kid.
Sighing Ella closed the diary resignedly. She stood up and brushed her hair out over her shoulders gently. ~Just get a hold of yourself kid.~ She thought as she did so. ~If you want to do something; if you're going to start something. You'd better be sure about it. ~ Ella met her own eyes in the mirror and noticed the fear in them. ~Great. ~ She thought.
'Alec?' Alec turned and only just held back a gasp. ~Oh Lord she looks good!~
'Yes?'
'I'm sorry. About before, I didn't mean to lay into you like that.' ~Jesus Alec answer her! Come on your mouth does work!'
'It's ok.' ~WELL DONE!~
'Can I ask you something?'
'Sure.'
'What was love like for you?'
'Pardon?'
'With Rachel, I mean. What was it like?' Ella's voice was hesitant.
'Painful.' Alec snapped and walked out of the room. Ella was left watching his bedroom door.
~Cleaver girl. Make him mad at you, great plan.~
~Brilliant Alec, just perfect. Walk out on her, real smooth.~
~Keep this up, kid and you'll never get to tell him you love him. If you still want to?~
~Jeez anyone would think I hated her, she probably thinks I hate her! Great, just what I need, specially when I'm trying to tell her I love her.~