Disclaimer: I had a limerick to illustrate my point, by I couldn't find a word that made sense and rhymed with "story." So, I'll just say it in PLAIN ENGLISH: Me no own 7th Heaven or it's plots or characters. Got it? Good.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! This is last chapter in the saga, and I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've loved writing it.
Colonel Camden leaped under the sofa just as Julie dropped her glass of tea.
"It's the enemy!" He screamed. "Private Julie, what ARE YOU DOING, maggot?!"
Ruth sighed. "He's been like this periodically ever since the war. Whenever something breaks or makes a noise, he leaps under the sofa and calls people 'maggot.'" She shook her head sadly. "I used to think it was sexy. Now, it's just weird."
Hank nodded slowly. "Uh-huh..."
Just then, Julie dropped to the floor dead.
Ruth screamed. "What happened?! Why is she dead?!"
The Colonel poked his head out from under the sofa. "The tea was poisoned by the enemy."
"The enemy," said Ruth shrilly. "There is no enemy, you dolt!"
"INSUBORDINATION!" cried the Colonel. "You! Twenty push-ups! GO GO GO!"
"Fine," sighed Ruth. She got down on her hands and knees. "One...two..." Crack! Ruth was a little to old to do push-ups. She snapped in half and plopped to the ground.
Hank was getting freaked out. He just wanted to leave the house and collect Julie's life insurance. Unfortunately for Hank, he got a severe paper cut from trying to file the Life Insurance forms in record time and died.
Meanwhile, the Colonel sat under the couch with a grenade. He giggled sinisterly.
"The enemy is gonna blow up! Heh heh heh..." He pulled the pin. Sadly, he forgot to throw the grenade.
"Boom!" went the house. "Pop!" went the Colonel. He was dead, as were the rest of the Camdens. Somewhere in California, a dog named Happy discovered that she could finally live up to her name.
THE END