Chapter Two

The Duo Goes Trio

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"That Count Olaf escaped from the V.F.D. center!"

"THE Count Olaf??"

Matt nodded.

"With the Baudelaire's?"

Matt nodded again.

"And the Snicket fires?"

Matt nodded one more time. "Yar! He escaped from the Vicious Freaky Detention center! Last night!"

Three weeks later after the buying of the broomsticks, it was lunch break at LIZARD-Ware. Matt was telling Patrick about the newest news in the muggle-world; Patrick had been sticking to the Daily Prophet constantly, and not to the ordinary stuff. So Matt decided that it would be time to start filling him in.

"I'm filling you in, because you're not paying enough attention to the rest of the world, we've also got a new technician that signed up this morning"

"Who?" Pat murmured through a chicken-salad sandwich.

But his answer came quickly enough.

crackle"Dr. Gerbawlsky," said a female voice in a speaker on the wall, "and #1 Rawten, please report to main office. Dr. Floncouta is waiting."

Patrick looked at Matt. "Why do they want me too?"

"I think he's assigned to your department," Matt got up, "well, better not keep him waiting, bring the sandwich if you want, I don't care."

Matt grabbed his suitcase and walked to the automatically opening doors out of the cafeterium to the stairs with Patrick close behind chomping on his lunch. They spiraled down three flights before Pat noticed something out the window into the main office. He grabbed Matt's shirt to stop him. He pointed out the window.

"Do you see what I see?" his voice excited.

At first Matt didn't, and then he did. The main office was a white marbled place with pens chained to the desks and everything, security camera's everywhere, the works of cool sleek security. But Matt looked past all that to the Dr. Floncouta sitting in one of the chairs reading a magazine.

"Is that-HIM?

Dr. Floncouta was tall, skinny, and intimidating. His silver and black hair was greased back to make it appear like he tried to kiss a fan that was on. His shiny, evil eyes glistened as they jumped all over the page. But the thing that got the two young scientists was the one Eyebrow that bobbed up and down as he read articles that made him either unhappy, or angry.

Patrick leaned and slid down the wall, hands on his forehead, laughing his pants off.

"I can't believe this, I simply can't believe this!"

"Count Olaf-here!?" Matt was completely baffled.

"This--is--so--GREAT!!" Patrick was laughing hysterically now. "The Count Olaf! Himself, here! In LIZARD-Ware!"

"I don't believe this!"

"YOU don't believe this!?"

Matt looked down at the new disguise that Olaf was wearing now; a white trench coat with sowed on pockets white army boots with white socks on, even his jeans were white.

Patrick was heaving with silent laughter. "Oh—my—god!"

"We need to turn him in. Now."

"Why?"

Matt turned in disbelief as to what Patrick had just said. "HELLO! We have an Escaped Mass Murderer in the front main office of LIZARD-Ware! Let the police take him!"

"We can't." Pat rubbed his eyes.

"WHAT?"

"We have no proof."

"LOOK HE'S RIGHT THERE!!!!" Matt pointed down at the man who was taking and unwrapping all the mints in the candy dishes and eating them.

"That's not enough proof"

"I can see his ONE EYEBROW!" Matt pointed at his own two.

"So?"

"...!!!"

Matt sighed; "Fine!" he turned to pick up his fallen suitcase "We better go meet him then."

Pat stood up and continued eating his chicken sandwich as they tromped down the stairs. They stopped as Matt peered through the door window.

"Is he still there?"

"You know we could just call up security now and have this over with."

"Come on." Pat pushed past Matt, opened the door and walked over to Dr. Floncouta who looked up, his greasy hair glistening. "Yo! I'm #1 Rawten! I'll be your supervisor Dr.--?"

Count Olaf's voice came wheezy and terribly evil sounding. "Floncouta, Dr. Floncouta is my name and I will only be referred to as Dr. Floncouta! I arrived this very morning on the train." Dr. Floncouta stood up and shook Patrick's hand who winced at the strong, cold and greasy grip the new guy had. "A very pleasure to meet you sir!"

"And meet Dr. Gerbawlsky!" Floncouta held out his hand to shake Matt's too, he eyed the dirt under Olaf's fingernails with fear but shook it anyways, their hands making odd squelching noises. "We're gonna give you the grand tour!"

"It is a pleasure, Doctor, to meet you!" Matt forced out a smile though his quenched up face from the smell. Did Olaf keep cabbage in his shirt or something?

Patrick wiped his hands off on his pants after which he regretted immediately. It left a dark stain that took him the next eight weeks to wash out. "Let's get started then, with my place: The SD Department!"

And with that Patrick lead Count Olaf—Dr. Floncouta to the Secret Developments Department, leaving Matt there to think, which he did.

I need some broomstick-time, he thought, and he walked outside.

...

"And here is the particle-accelerator, where we speed up atomic-sized bits of stuff and crash them into each other! The next room is where Matt Gerbawlsky works. They test out and build new ideas, like the brand new Mechanical Silly--Putty we call it. Supposed to be good for using in building architecture..." Patrick's mind raced as he led this imposter around the most secret and important makings of LIZARD-Ware. Where should I put him? Why does he want to be here? How can I get evidence that this is him? When will he hatch whatever evil plan that he always has up his sleeve? Or is he seriously turning over a new leaf?

Pat looked back at the strolling figure who, with his arms behind his back, was taking in every detail with a grim/murderous fascination. This was not good. Maybe he can operate an ordinary computer console? Sorting data perhaps? NO WAY! He could wreak havoc through the network doing that.

A couple of scientists walked by from the computer-parts manufacturing section. Pat looked inside the door; boxes and boxes piled high from the ground, boxes rolling on conveyor belts, boxes being stamped by people in blue coats, lots of boxes. But not a good place to put a dangerous villain. He only needed to stall Dr. Floncouta for a couple days, not give him large blunt objects to smash into things.

Patrick laughed at that thought.

What was he thinking? This was the perfect place to put him for a while. How much damage could one do with cardboard? There wasn't even anything in the boxes!

"Uuuuh, Count—I mean Dr Floncouta," Patrick turned from the doorway. "May I see your resume? You don't have any preferences as to where you work? Do you?"

"No I do not, but I would rather not do anything that involves cutting wood, climbing mountains, wild animals, leeches, ships, reptiles, or surgery." Floncouta handed him the yellow piece of paper. "Ordinary labor would be nice" he added with a devilish grin showing his crooked yellow teeth, something brown was stuck between two of his front incisors.

"Ah—ha." Patrick averted his gaze to the paper, it wasn't even filled out. "Ok you're hired!" he handed Floncouta the paper back. "You're gonna be moving boxes! You can start tomorrow!" pat gestured into the room, and Olaf peeked in, his face sneering.

"O...........k."

"Here's your schedule, an anti-rad smock...thing, and goggles." Patrick piled the stuff onto the tall thin man. "See you tomorrow!"

And with that Patrick bounced away, leaving Dr. Floncouta standing there like a confused Popsicle. He watched #1 Rawten go for a dangerous moment, then he angrily stuffed everything into a white spray-painted doctor medical bag he had with him.

He thus followed Patrick down the hall.

...

"Professor Potter? May I interrupt?"

Harry turned from the chalkboard covered in pictures and diagrams of dangerous snakes to the door where Severus Snape was. Half of the class turned in their seats to see who it was. They were all second years.

"Yes?"

"Um, could you see me in the hall for a moment?"

The young Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher put down his chalk and traveled around to the other side of the room. "This will only take one minute class, NO funny stuff! I'll be back to explain the Basilisk in a moment" and he left.

Out in the hall Snape quickly told Harry about the news.

"Olaf is back!" he whispered, "he escaped last night and has turned up in area 51, right on top of the two M.D.M.A's, the Most Dangerous Muggles Alive!"

"Shhhhhhhhhh! I know what it means! I was at the meeting! But we better keep quiet or the students..."

"I know, but this is a situation that needs your expertise! Immediately! If he's not stopped, then this will be the third time that he's ever tried to release our world to the general public!" he paused to let that sink in. "Potter, he's going to find the lab, and once he does he'll have all the evidence he needs to reveal all."

"Can it wait until after class?"

"No, you need to leave now! Headmaster gave me, by his own personal suggestion, permission to finish the rest of your classes today.

"Fine! Whose house is it? Gerbawlsky's or Rawten's?"

"Rawten's, but one more thing, don't let the M.D.M.A.'s see you, because then the Ministry will butt in and clean their brains of everything, and you know that."

"Sure, sure, sure Professor Snape, just let me grab my broomstick and ill be gone."

Professor Potter ran halfway down the nearest stairs before calling back.

"The day's schedule is in the top right-hand drawer, Snape! Good luck!"

"Good luck Potter. Once again the world is in your hands; don't drop it—this time."

...

"What the heck is he doing?! MATT! NOT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!!"

Matt looked down from where he was floating. There, was the distant super-structure of LIZARD-Ware, all large and rectangular with the occasional spherical blob here and there, large pipes and moving machines pumped out steam in large clusters in the middle. And way down near the overfull parking-lot stood the tiny hopping body of Patrick. Even at this distance away you could see how much his clothes clashed.

"GET DOWN!! GET DOOOOWWWWWWWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled, but Matt stayed where he was, about three hundred meters above him. A breeze played across his face comfortingly.

"Awwwwwwwwwww! Now this is perfect!" he flipped over ignoring the shouts below.

"YOU'RE GONNA BE SEEN!!!!!!! ARE YOU MAD MATT!?!?!?!?!"

"Yes." He swayed the broomstick playfully.

"GET DOWN!!....FROM THERE!!!! Aw crap! Matt's gonna ruin everything!" he shook his head. "FINE, he's asking for it."

Patrick reached into his back pocket and pulled out a slingshot.

"OK, OK! I WAS ONLY JOKING AROUND!!" Matt floated down seeing the projectile weapon. "Jeeze! I was only getting some relaxation time!"

"Yeah, well you could soon have been attacked by a helicopter or something, or even worse you could have been seen!"

But he had been seen. Count Olaf's shiny eyes reflected them walking away through the glass doors twice. His face split into a mad-smile like a dull knife cutting burnt meat. "Oh you've been seen, my friend, you've been seen... and you'll be seeing more of me too I'm sorry to say..." He muttered to himself and then slinked away to the cafeterium for some roast beef.