A/N: Ok. I am really really really really sorry this is so late. I had like BIG Writer's Block and had no idea what to write. So, this chapter may seem a bit odd. Sorry!
O yeah, I'm also sorry if this chapter seems a bit weird – I've got a bet with Leah (friend) to not drink coffee for a week... As many of you probably know, Me deprived of coffee for a day can be disastrous....
Elvenstorm: Well, you've been nagging me to write the next chapter, so I hope this meets your standards lol. Hehe. You rock.
Allasea2: Aw that sucks – hope your allowed on by now. Sorry it's been such a long wait. bobette: Yup. Long story.... Let's just say we (friends and I) were all drinking coffee... and it all got a bit out of hand.... DUDE! Thankies!
Kumarasgal23: Nope. Completely wiped out of the system. So I restarted writing it. Although I do think the original was better.
Crecy: Thanks!
DragonZero: Thanks!!
Anon: Are you Jane?
Thank you to all my lovely reviewers – sweets/candy/whatever-you-want-to- call-them to you all... except Crecy, who gets popcorn... On top of all I've said so far, I'd like to say that I may not respond to all my reviewers because I'm getting a lot of them now.
P.S I do intend to continue ALL of my stories, unless I say otherwise.
P.P.S Because of recent changes in ff.net, thoughts are now in :: blahdeblahdeblah ::
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Chapter 19 - Encounter with an Elf
They ran. Every one. Shows they're definitely more cowardly than they're made out to be. Then, I think I would run if 200 or however many soldiers on horseback there are were following me. We chased the remaining Uruk-Hai towards a forest that looked very much like Fangorn, though I knew it had DEFINITELY not been there the previous night. Éomer rode in front of his men.
Éomer: Stay out of the forest! Keep away from the trees!
The moment the last orc disappeared into forest, the trees started to move and shake and the Orcs could be heard screaming for their lives. Not a single one escaped his fate. If it hadn't been for the previous events and the fact that this was real, I would have laughed. We made our way back up to the castle to many relieved faces. Women and children welcomed the men as they returned. Éowyn ran up to Aragorn and embraced him, crying. I edged away, hoping to find Laila, and found her I did. Though, not where I expected her to be. On the lap of a certain someone doing... I won't say what. I moved silently on, and soon encountered Legolas and Gimli, who was currently sitting on a dead orc smoking his pipe. Legolas looked at his bow, for what reason I have no idea, but hey.
Legolas: Final count.... 42.
Gimli: amused Forty-two? Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on 43.
At that, Legolas shot the orc Gimli was sitting on. He then stood as he had before, looking preeeeety pleased with himself.
Legolas: Forty-three.
Gimli: He was already dead.
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!
Gimli moved his axe, causing the dead Uruk-hai body to move as well.
Gimli: Ah. Keikæ.
Keikæ: Ah. Gimli.
Legolas: So how many did you get?
Keikæ: 45.
This was, of course, a lie, but I didn't want to find out what they would say if I revealed the real figure of 53.
Keikæ: Excluding the suicide bomber. pause By the way, I did see a couple crawling around back there, but couldn't be bothered to kill them.
I pointed to where I had just come from... yes I know I'm cruel. Yes, I know I can be a complete bitch, but hey. They were probably finished by now. And both elf and dwarf were off quicker than you can say 'Lembas'. Anyway, just in case, I slipped away quietly. I wandered around, hoping not to bump into Laila. Hoping. But then, sod's law always works for me, so of course, I ran into her. And ran away from her. And instead, crashed into Ilréthiel. That's a bad thing. Laila was obviously livid, though elf-boy didn't seem to have worked it out.
Ilréthiel: Wo, Keikæ, what's the rush?
Keikæ: Er... person downstairs message up gotago soz, see ya.
::1st prize excuse, Keeks.::
Ilréthiel: Rubbish.
Keikæ: You are the only elf I know that would come up with such an answer.
Ilréthiel: Really?
I noticed Laila had disappeared. Thank God. Or the Valar. Or whoever happened to be in charge around here. I had only really been time wasting. One man came pushing through the crowd, knocking me on the shoulder and continuing on his way. I flinched as he hit me.
Ilréthiel: Keeks?
I quickly hid whatever expression had been on my face and stood up strait.
Keikæ: I'm fine.
Ilréthiel: Obviously not, c'mon.
He led me through the crowd and up some steps. He seemed to have picked up 'twenny first centry lingo' quite quickly. We went through a door... another door... another door... another door... steps... another door... I eventually lost count, but I felt really confused and disorientated. Still, we eventually got to... er... the place we were going to....
It was quite a small room, with a few windows looking out at various views of Rohan and Helm's deep. It was empty save for a small table and a bench. He led me over and I sat down. Before either of us could say a word, someone called his name, and he left quickly.
Oh, great. How did I end up here?
I felt tired and leaned against the wall. Before I could figure out the answer to this question I heard a soft knock at the door. It wasn't really my door, or room, so there was really no point in me answering.
You should still see who it s, Keeks.
I dragged myself off the bench and went to open the door. Haldir walked in. I was quite surprised at this – he was the last person on earth I would've expected to walk through that door. Still.
Keikæ: Erm... yeah?
I noticed he had a bandage on his upper arm, presumably where he had been stabbed.
Keikæ: Er... hi. Would you like to come in?
I closed the door behind me ad sat down.
Haldir: Keikæ, I'd like to thank you.
Keikæ: Thank me? What or?
Haldir: For saving my life on the deeping wall.
I wasn't quite sure what to make of this.
Haldir: For 'saving my ass' as you would put it.
Keikæ: Oh. I it me, or is it 'thank you for saving my life' week.
He sounded a little confused at this, so I carried on.
Keikæ: Just consider it a favour.
I flinched as pain shot through my shoulder.
Haldir: Keikæ?
Keikæ: It's nothing. Just nothing.
He gave me that look Ilréthiel had given me, showing clearly that he didn't believe me. His eyes travelled from my crushed hand to my bleeding shoulder. With out another word, he looked at my hand.
Haldir: Stay here. I'll be right back.
Yeah... Like there's anywhere to go.
I felt hot so I draped my well-used long leather jacket over one end of the bench, and took off my once-white polo neck. He was obviously true to his word. 2 minutes later he was back, apologising for being so 'long'. He had bought back some cloths and a jug of water. I could see what was coming and wasn't looking forward to it.
He looked at my hand first, realising it causing me more pain than my shoulder, surprisingly. I flinched as he touched it, but let hi go on. Some thing had to be done about it. Five minutes later I was wrapped in linen and no longer hurt.
Keikæ: Ta.
I made to leave, but was stopped, by the same elf asking if my shoulder was alright. I knew there was absolutely no point in lying, so I sat back down. I hissed in pain as he rested his hand against my shoulder. I was determined to keep silent – all this time I'd gained a reputation – but couldn't hold in a gasp as he cleaned it with a wet cloth. When he'd finished, he pulled back my hair to see properly. I quickly pulled it back down across my face, but not quick enough. Haldir grabbed my wrist.
Haldir: What's this?
Bloody Elvish eyesight!
Keikæ: Nothing. Oh, ok.
I realised he'd seen the scar on the back of my neck, and I resigned myself to telling him about how I'd set a car alight and gotten away with it. The only reason I remembered that particular crime was the scar left by a burn on the back of my neck.
Haldir: You've been through a lot Keikæ.
Keikæ: Please call me Keeks.
He nodded slightly.
Haldir: You want to talk about it?
Keikæ: Not really. Oh fine. It's just ... I don't know. Laila and Bex are so...so...
Haldir: Good?
I'd dropped the pirate act by now, what was the point? Laila and Bex weren't here to see me.
Keikæ: No. It seems they're completely oblivious to life. As if it's all a game. And it was. It was at one point. It was fun for a bunch of bored teenagers. Which we were at the time. But, it turned into more than that. It became routine... a job like. They don't stop to think: I don't think we should've done that. I mean, I too, used to do it for kicks, but everything, everything has turned to a game. A joke. That's all life is to them. One big game, where you can't go back, where you have to play.
But now, I'm always running, always hiding. Never able o stand and fight; always at war with someone else. I mean, don't get me wrong, but Laila and Bex. They're great, the best friends anyone could wish for. Never any arguments. Just perfect. But they don't get the seriousness of life. They catch you when you fall, but never seem to be there when you need them most. And... and I feel so alone, even when they are thee. And I can't do a thing about it. Nothing.
Haldir: You're not alone.
Keikæ: Eh?
Haldir: You're not alone.
Keikæ: But...
I was cut off by his lips on mine, just for a second.
Haldir: You're not alone, Keikæ.
Keikæ: Haldir, you've been great t me. But this can't happen.
He looked utterly confused.
Haldir: But why not.?
Keikæ: Firstly, you are an elf. Secondly-
I heard footsteps climbing the stairs, and pulled away as Ilréthiel opened the door, apologising.
Keikæ: Godammit! Can't a girl ever have some piracy – I mean privacy.
The elf opened his mouth to say something, then noticed Haldir.
Ilréthiel: Ummm, sorry, was I interrupting something?
Keikæ: Yes. No. Well, kind of.
Ilréthiel: Do you want me to go?
I was quite happy with someone else there and didn't want the conversation to continue, so replied it was fine. I'd have to thank Ilréthiel later – he had just gotten me out of a tight spot.
The ride to Isengaurd wasn't exactly a long. Compared. And extremely uneventful. Again, compared to the other journeys I'd made galloping around the Middle Earth countryside. So. With few conversations and very little to do, by the time we got to Isenguard, Laila and I were bored as anything. It seemed our small crew of Helm's Deep survivors were too. The Rohan refugees had returned to Edoras – I knew it wouldn't be the last time we saw them. It was quite a relief when we finally sighed – and heard - two small figures sitting on a broken wall.
Pippin: I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon after a hard day's work.
Merry: Only, you've never done a hard day's work.
Both of them laughed. They sounded completely pissed. Both were smoking.
Merry: Welcome, my Lords, to Isenguard!
I turned to Haldir.
Keikæ: Is it me, or am I suddenly a lord?
He smiled. Not much had been said between us since Helm's Deep.
Gimli: You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you, feasting and... smoking!
Keikæ: What's wrong with feasting and smoking?
Pippin: Exactly my point. We are sitting on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good.
Gimli: Salted pork?
Gandalf shook his head in disgust.
Gandalf: Hobbits.
Merry: We're under orders, from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isenguard.
I noticed a jacket. A certain tan fake-leather jacket. There was only one person in Middle Earth who owned something like that. Laila seemed to be reading my mind.
Keikæ & Laila: Bex!!
She appeared behind the wall, jumped over, standing in a small clearing.
We both dismounted faster than you would've thought possible, jumping on top of her.
Bex: Woah! WOAH!! Cool it, dudes.
Laila: Yuh, whatever – we're cool. Right now, I haven't seen you for like AGES....
Conversation continued, though I felt sort of, out of place. As if something had changed between us as friends. I think it was more me than them. Still, we sat down and the two little trouble makers decided to join us.
Pippin: Rebecca told us about the many illegal things you've done, hasn't she Merry?
::Aw... Rebecca... How cute. Looks like they've finally found out her real name.::
Merry acted as if he were my schoolteacher or something.
Merry: Yes. We're very disappointed in you, Keikæ Sparrow.
I took on the role of Jack and played along.
Keikæ: Captain, Captain Keikæ Sparrow!
At this point I dropped the Jack Sparrow accent.
Keikæ: And anyway, it wasn't just me!
They, except L:aila, who seemed deep in thought.
Bex: Hello Laila? Earth-
Keikæ: Middle.
Bex: Middle Earth to Laila? Are you awake, or have you learnt to sleep Elvish style?
Keikæ: Ah. No. I think she's very much awake.
Merry: Shall we find out? Laila suddenly moved when she heard this, scrambling up the nearest tree to avoid being tickled.
Pippin: That's unfair! I can't reach the bottom branch!
Laila stuck her tongue out.
Keikæ: I think that's the point.
Merry: I can. See, I told you I was the tall one.
Laila: I didn't know hobbits could be tall!
We debated on this matter for quite a while, ignoring Gandalf and the rest of the world. After a while, Laila became fed up of being up a tree. We later found that as good as she was climbing up, she simply can't climb down.
Laila: It must be genetic. There fore it is not my fault.
Bex: Who's going to get her? All eyes turned to me.
Keikæ: What are you looking at me for... get Ilréthiel to do it!
Bex had obviously had a talk with the hobbits beforehand, because as I called him over, they instantly jumped on him, keeping him pinned to the ground. Bex: Go fetch, Keeks!! I sighed, muttering "Whatever..." And launched my self up the tree. First branch was easy. On the second I ended up half running up the tree before I could grab it. Why did she have to climb to the top? I hauled myself up and continued climbing. I wasn't really that far off the ground, although I did get a great view over the broken wall at Isenguard. It took three jumping attempts to reach the last (well it would be the last for me) branch where I could get to Laila. She had stuck herself to the tree trunk, refusing to move. It was a well-known fact in our household that she absolutely HATED heights. I was beginning to wonder how she got up here in the first place.
::You threatened her, remember?::
I prized her hands off the wood, so she latched onto my arm instead. If I wobbled, she'd fall and we'd both go down. I'd gotten her away from the trunk, though she refused to move at all.
Keikæ: Ok. Laila, if you don't let go of my arm, we can't climb down. If we can't climb down, we're not going anywhere and will die up here. Well, I guess you'll get a good view. But still, look down and you'll see Elf-boy being beaten up by two hobbits. Only you can save him. So. Either You stay up here and you both die, or you come down and live happily ever after. What say ye? She squeaked and stayed exactly where she was. I'll take that as a no.
Eventually, Bex ended up asking for help from Treebeard. He came striding over and I threatened to tickle Laila if she didn't move. It worked. Well, almost. She moved, but in the wrong direction. Back to square one. I ended up poking her, and she jumped, neatly landing on the ent. I was beginning to feel sorry for him. I clambered down and was met by Bex jumping on top of me.
Keikæ: OW!! What was that for?!
Bex: I haven't said hello yet.
Keikæ: O god.
Bex: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keikæ: Hello Bex. How are you?
Random conversation followed, finally interrupted by a squeak. I looked down and pulled Merry and Pippin to their feet. A very muddy Ilréthiel jumped to his feet.
Bex: No harm done, then? He smiled. After the tree incident, we prepared to leave, despite we weren't goign for a few hours. Laila and I first decided to see how Saruman was doing. We rode over to the bottom of the tower on horses, shouting up at him.
Keikæ: Hey! How ya doin' Saruman?
Laila: Wow. You must get a great view up there.
Keikæ: Yeah, what's it like? Sorry, I didn't hear that.
Laila: Sorry, what was that? O you'd like a guided tour of Isenguard? We can arrange that. Please, no eating no drinking and no flash photography... Have a nice ride!
Keikæ: To the left, you have East Isenguard, flooded of course.
Laila: To the right, you have West Isenguard... Flooded, of course.
Keikæ: In front of you, you have north Isenguard, no longer flooded and under construction due to a recent collapse.
Laila: And behind you, you have the rest of Isenguard, otherwise known as your back yard.
::That was... different.::
Keikæ: Have a nice day! We rode off, leaving an angry though slightly confused Ex-white wizard behind us. We – literally – ran into Gandalf on the way back. Well, Gandalf, Theoden, Merry, Pippin, Bex, Elf-boy and many other people besides. I had somehow managed to knock Bex and Pippin off their horses.
Keikæ: WOAH!! Um... sorry... you ok? Pippin?
I caught sight of an orange glow in the water. Pippin seemed to have seen it too.
::The palantír.::
He waded through the water and picked it up, eyeing it curiously.
Aragorn: Pippin!
Treebeard: Bless my bark!
Gandalf: Peregrin Took! I'll take that, my lad. Quickly now.
Pippin handed the palantír to Gandalf, who quickly wrapped it in his robe. He rode away without another word. Most of the others left, excluding Bex and Pippin (Who were still in the water), Elf-boy #1 and Elf-boy #2 (#2 is Haldir), Laila, Merry and Myself. Pippin made a really stupid comment and we all laughed. Merry and Pippin tried to attack Ilréthiel, to be held back by Laila, and Haldir seemed to be in his own world. Weird that. I leaned over to help Pippin, Bex and Merry (who had jumped down to join them) up, to be pulled down and pinned down. Underwater. I surfaced 5 minutes later, rolling over Merry. We trudged back to dry land, sodden wet. I could hear my trainers squelching. The next time I looked up, the hobbits, Bex and Ilréthiel had gone off to God-knows-where, and I was left with Haldir and Laila.
Laila: Well, that was different. Keikæ: You could say that. I hope Saruman enjoyed his guided tour of Isenguard.
Haldir: Why would Saruman need a guided tour of Isenguard?
Laila: Erm...
Keikæ: He doesn't. But he got it whether he liked it or not.
I could see 'Riiiiiiiiiiiight' written all over their faces. Don't blame them, really. I was happy when everyone (Everyone being Laila, Haldir and Bex) stopped staring at me to have a look at yet another fight match between Elf-Boy and the hobbits.
Keikæ: O Jesus. Laila: Who's going to sort them out? Let's vote on it. All those for Keikæ...
2 hands raised. Laila and Bex, of course. Haldir probably had no idea what we were on about.
Keikæ: Fine.
I dragged Merry and Pippin away from their victim. I was really beginning to feel sorry for him. Next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground from having my feet pulled out from beneath me.
Keikæ: Ow! What the crap was that for?!!
Ilréthiel: Couldn't resist, mate.
Keikæ: You're really pickin' up on this pirate lark, ain't ye?
Ilréthiel didn't answer. Instead, he pinned me to the ground, was handed some rope by Merry or Pippin (I couldn't tell which – I was laying on my front with my face in the ground) and tied my hands behind my back. I didn't struggle at first, until I noticed what he was doing.
Keikæ: Oi! Laila! A little help here?
I could hear laughing. Obviously they had planned all this. What was going to happen next, I had no idea, but I was tied up, and so had to play along. Next, my feet were tied, so I couldn't move at all.
Keikæ: What the Hell is going on?!
I found out soon enough. By the time they were finished, my hands were released, but my feet were tied to a branch.
Keikæ: Great. So here I am suspended from a tree upside down. So. What do you want?
Bex: The satisfaction of finally seeing you tied upside down to a tree.
Laila: Aw, c'mon Keeks. You've gotta admit – you've been lucky so far. This is the first practical joke of the year!
Keikæ: Yeah – I'll drink to that.
Bex: Er... no. We intend to leave you up there for a bit.
Keikæ: WHAT?!
Laila: You heard us. Now, we have a little business to attend to. C'ya round.
Keikæ: Oi! Laila! Bex!
By business, she probably meant more practical jokes. I reached up to see if I could undo the ropes, but then noticed it was elvish rope. I tried anyway, and found that the only way I would be able to get myself down, was to cut it. Laila had the lighter and Bex had the fruit knife. I had nothing on me – just a fiver and a penknife.
::Deeeeeer... Penknife?::
God, I must be a malteaser. I slid my hand in my back pocket immediately. It slipped through my hands and fell to the ground. I swore loudly. I looked around to see if there was anyone that would help me, and saw a small figure approaching. Pippin. It had to be.
Keikæ: Oi! Pips!!
His head snapped round and he finally caught sight of me a few feet above him.
Keikæ: Did Bex tell you about chocolate?
Pippin nodded.
Keikæ: Well, look. If you help me out, I'll give you loads of it... Like, absolutely TONS, yeah?
ippin: Yes! What would you like me do?
Keikæ: Right, look down. Now you see that blue thing? No, no, that's a stick. The blue thing, the little blue thing. Yeah, that! Now pass it up to me.
He tried several times. The disadvantages of being small finally came into play. Then, I don't think anyone would be able to reach, excluding elves. He next tried throwing it up to me. Now, I'm a very good catcher. Like, really good – even when hanging upside down, which must mean that Pippin is a bad thrower - very bad, as the thing didn't come within a foot of me.
Keikæ: O jeez, this ain't working.
I saw – rather than heard – another figure approaching. A tall figure. Definitely an elf, though Ilréthiel had taken part in playing the trick on me, so it couldn't be him. Which left 1 person. ::Thank God. Or the Valar or whatever.::
He looked quite amused.
Keikæ: Not funny.
Haldir: I didn't say it was.
Keikæ: That's the impression I got.
Haldir: Well you were wrong.
Keikæ: Oh. Ok. Could you please help get me down, then? Pippin can't reach.
Haldir lifted Pippin, who passed me the penknife.
::Eureka.::
The stood back as I reached up and cut slowly through the rope. Pity really – it was quite nice rope. Only when the rope had been cut, I realised I would then all several feet to the ground. I landed heavily on my back and rolled over my shoulders to my knees.
Keikæ: Ow. Crap. Why do I never land on my feet?
Yet another amused look on Haldir's face.
Keikæ: Sorry – did you come here for a reason, or just to see me hanging upside down from a tree?
Haldir: Actually, I came looking for Pippin. But he's already gone off.
Keikæ: A little help wouldn't go amiss.
He took my hand and pulled me to my feet.
Keikæ: Thank you. For getting me out of that bloody tree aswel. First contact since Helm's Deep. Still trying to work out whether that's a good or bad thing. We walked back to camp, saying nothing, to prepare for the journey to Edoras.
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A/N: Ok. That was a really long chapter, so I hope you're happy with it. D'ye think I went a bit far? Anywho, I'm thinking of making chapters 1 & 2 into 1 chapter, cos other wise, chapter 1 has nothing to do with the rest of the story – What do you think? I've got to go. C'ya round
ASSBB!!
Kess ;P