Ichigo has read many English and American poets' works; that's one of the reasons his English is so good. He remembers the works, not in the way that he could recite each and every one – that would be impossible, as Cherī would say – but were they to be read to him, he would feel the familiarity that comes after you have done or seen something a few times and paid attention.
While Shakespeare will always be his favourite, there are others whose works have caught his eye. One such would be "An Almost Made Up Poem" by Charles Bukowski. He doesn't know what may have inspired the man to write it. Whenever he read it, it always tugged something in his chest. If he were more poetic, he would say it was his heart, making him imagine how he would feel if he were to meet a woman like that, to be in the same situation. He doesn't know if that would be romantic or depressing. Probably more depressing than romantic.
But no matter what emotions it brought out, there is a tiny part of Ichigo, nestled between the need to protect and the desire to just rest, that yearns for something like that to happen just so he could experience it.
School is the same yet different.
He has stopped paying attention to his old friends when they run out of the classroom to hunt hollows and instead focuses on the lessons. His teacher has noticed his change and appears to be relieved. Ichigo is touched that the woman still has the time to worry about him after all of the trouble he has caused her. He should get her something nice as an apology gift for her birthday the following week.
"What do I give my teacher as a birthday present?" Ichigo asks Cherī as they sort the laundry. He still hasn't returned to the Kurosaki household, always using excuses whenever the thought of returning appears. None of the Akao family have mentioned it, and why should they? As far as they see it, he is as much family to them as they are to each other and therefore has full right to reside in the house.
But that isn't true no matter how much he wants it to be.
"Dunno." Cherī folds what he is certain is his shirt – the one with the stylized cross that he wore on his coffee date with Taiga – and places it in her pile of clothes. He squints at her. "Perfume, maybe? Flowers? A book?"
"I want it to be something personal. It's also an apology gift."
The girl hmm's, handing him a pair of high-waisted woman's shorts that make his hips look very grabbable (Taiga can attest to that) and make his waist even smaller, especially when he tucks in his shirt. "Some kind of clothin'?"
He thinks for a moment. "Yeah, that could work."
They brainstorm possible gift ideas while passing clothes to each other that don't actually belong to the other.
At the end of the day, they agree to go window shopping after school and actual shopping during the weekend.
They happen upon Tatsuki and the other girls while they are out.
He can't remember if it was Cherī who grabbed his hand and pulled him away or if it was him who grabbed her and dragged her away before they were noticed.
It doesn't matter.
It does.
He returns to the Kurosaki house with a bag half-filled with clothes (and underwear) that do not belong to him and could not possibly fit him comfortably.
The moment he opens the door, yelling out an "I'm back,", he hears the crash of falling pans and the stomping of two pairs of feet. His sneakers are barely off when his sisters round the corner and stop, eyes wide and panting. Once his shoes are off and he has stepped into the hallway, Sōsuke safely cradled in his arm and luggage in his free hand, he greets, "Good evening."
Yuzu and Karin launch themselves at him, tightly wrapping their slim arms around his waist, faces pressed into his chest.
He can't help but smile, "Good to see you again." He lets go of the luggage, places the kitten on his shoulder, and pets the girls' heads.
"Where have you been, Ichi-nii?" Yuzu's sorrowful voice calls out, muffled against his shirt but still understandable.
His hands stop and he thinks. "Away," He tells them simply, remembering the summer trip and the warmth-filled home that is the Akao house. "I have been away."
"You didn't call." Karin accuses. "We asked around but nobody knew where you were. Did you get in trouble again?"
Ichigo laughs, "Nope, just away on a trip. I guess in all of the excitement, it slipped my mind to notify someone about my whereabouts." That's a lie. He simply ignored the thought until it went away.
Karin pulls away to look up at him, brows furrowed and a frown on her lips, but her eyes showed sadness and betrayal. "We slipped your mind?"
He opens his mouth to answer – to deny (to lie) – but Sōsuke decides that he has had enough of being ignored. The kitten tries to climb down, meowing loudly because of the endeavour. The bluenette's hands fly up to help him, gently detaching the claws from the cotton shirt.
"Did we ignore you, sweetheart?" Ichigo coos and the kitten meows. "I'm really sorry about that."
Yuzu squeals, frightening the tiny creature. "Who's this, Ichi-nii?" She comes closer and even Karin is temporarily distracted.
Smiling softly he answers. "This is Sōsuke. I got him when I was away."
Karin shoots him a look at the name choice, but he ignores it and instead hands the tiny feline to Yuzu.
"Careful, he's not good with strangers."
The girl nods, hands cupped and close to her chest. Sōsuke sniffs the surrounding skin and hisses, spitting. Ichigo quickly grabs him as he starts walking backwards, hairs standing on end and ears flat against his skull.
The teen coos, trying to calm the agitated creature. "It's okay, sweetheart. They're my sisters. They won't hurt you." Yet he continues to growl and spit (quite cutely) at the twins.
"I don't think he likes us, Ichi-nii." Karin states.
Ichigo smiles at her, "I'm sure he's just frightened. He'll warm up to you two before you know it."
Karin looks doubtful while Yuzu looks at the kitten with eyes filled with hope and affection. "Will he?"
He laughs, pulling the kitten closer. "Of course."
Sōsuke doesn't warm up to his sisters.
He continues to growl and hiss every time they are in his sight.
Yuzu is sad. Her hands littered with scratches and teeth marks from her attempts to touch him.
Karin is displeased, occasionally angry. She has taken to keeping their bedroom door closed shut after a particular afternoon when no one was home to stop the kitten from entering and scratching up her belongings and even soiling the bedsheets.
Ichigo is pleased for reasons he will not try to understand that Sōsuke hates his sisters.
He gets Ochi-sensei a light beige cashmere cardigan.
The woman is surprised, but happy.
"It's good to know that you're happy now." She tells him as she tries it on. It sits a little big on her but that's how it's supposed to be.
"Thank you," He says, slightly embarrassed. "I'm getting better. I'm sorry for all of the trouble I caused you."
She waves away his apology. "You're young. Kids are supposed to make mistakes and cause trouble. How else will you learn?" She looks over his shoulder at the door. "Your friend is waiting for you."
He looks back to see Cherī waiting for him to go home.
"Go on now. I still have work to do. Thank you for the lovely gift."
When Isshin first sees Ichigo, a look passes his eyes.
While it may have been gone too soon for the teen to correctly decipher it, he is unfortunately too familiar with all possible looks that Goat-face may throw at him.
This one is no different than the others: displeasure that he made his daughters worry.
Ichigo does what he always has done; he ignores it and goes on with his life, taking extra caution to not be in the same room alone with the man for the next few days.
It's funny how he may be (23) 17, but in such moments he feels like he is once again 10 and powerless.
10 and powerless but good with knives and bleach
"An' now ya pull." Haru shows, finishing off his tie. Ichigo copies him, letting the man examine his work. "Nice job. It took me at least a dozen tries when Ah first learned how ta' do it."
"I have a good teacher." The teen says. He grabs his messenger bag off the armchair and goes to put on his new Derby shoes.
"Smile, Ichi!" Cherī aims a camera at him and he does, feeling silly and like a kid on their first day at school. The pinkette examines the photos and nods her approval.
"Well, aren't you quite the handsome young man." Ichigo looks up to see Nagi coming down the stairs wearing her casual business suit. "You know you don't need to wear a suit unless you want to, right?"
"I just want to make a good first impression." He says self-consciously.
The woman smiles. "And a good impression you will make." She brushes aside some hairs and Ichigo wonders if he should have gone to a hairdresser the days before; it is starting to get a bit too long and his roots are beginning to show. At least Cherī redid his nails – shortening and painting them a light pink colour. "We're off."
The father-daughter duo yell their goodbyes as they exit.
"Ready for your first day at work?" Nagi asks as she starts the car.
"Yeah," His stomach is doing somersaults and he feels like he will vomit, "I'm ready."
He is introduced to Mado Kioko, Nagi's secretary and the woman whom he will be shadowing. Mado-san is polite and shows him around, explaining everything that is expected of him. She shows him how to file documents, take phone calls, who to talk to, and the future errands that he will run.
"If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me." She tells him as she leads him back to his desk – hers is right across from his.
"Thank you, Mado-san."
"Any time, Aizen-san."
Inoue, as always, looks sad whenever she looks at him. Ishida looks pissy, as always. And Chad looks disappointed.
Ah, he thinks as he eats with Cherī, their eyes on him, they must have heard about my "disappearance".
And they had. He is proven correct when Ishida decides to man up and start berating him during break. The Quincy throws the pinkette a scornful look before focusing on the bluenette, mouth already moving.
Ichigo admits that it's a good strategy to do it now when he is still in school. The last few times whenever the other teen had tried to talk to him, Cherī would always whisk him away, no matter where they were. He has to give the guy props, too bad Ichigo doesn't plan on listening to any lecture the other may give.
So after two minutes of the teen talking, during which Ichigo and Cherī are looking at a magazine, the bluenette off-handedly says, "God, you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid."
It takes a moment for his mind to register his own words and for his eyes to widen. He looks at Cherī first. She is surprised, eyes wide and lips twitching as though unsure whether to smile or not. He then looks at the Quincy who is frozen, staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed. The rest of their classmates in similar positions.
Cherī, having managed to inhale enough air, starts laughing. Her laugh is loud and echoes around the silent room. Just as she is calming down, she looks up to see Ishida, and starts laughing anew until only air escapes her lips. Rinse and repeat for the next three minutes. Her face is so red that Ichigo worries she will either faint from lack of air or throw up. She has moved to leaning heavily on him, hands grasping his uniform, forehead resting on the junction between his neck and shoulder.
You would think that by her reaction that someone had just told her the best joke in the world, and maybe he had, but he isn't sure which part of what was said is the joke.
Thankfully, the bell rings and Ochi-sensei enters, forcing most students to return to their desks and prepare for the lesson. Only Cherī remains seated in the bluenette's lap, eyes covered by his hand to stop her from looking at the class president, giggles escaping her lips.
Ochi-sensei zeros in on the girl. "Are you alright, Akao-kun?"
The pinkette nods shakily, face still red, flush covering her neck and collarbones. She tries to speak but the sound comes out wrong – high and broken. She swallows and tries again. "Ah'm fine, sensei. Just breathless." She cracks a smile and cackles, then coughs violently.
Ochi-sensei looks doubtful. "Kurosaki-kun, it's best if you take your friend to the nurse."
He nods, still reeling from what he had said. Cherī giggles. She stumbles, movement like that of a drunk.
As they exit, his eyes find their way to Ishida. The other is looking ahead, but there's no mistaking the red ears.
In the middle of October, a month after starting the job, a manuscript catches his eye.
It sits innocently on Amano-san's desk, in the rejected box, pages bulging with the list that lists the reasons why it has been rejected by the editor. That isn't what catches his eye.
It's the title.
God tumbles down
By Fujiwara Hina
"That looks interesting." He tells the editor.
Amano-san, a middle-aged woman with light brown hair done in a sloppy bun after what must have been a tiring morning, looks up at him and then at the rejected manuscript. "It is. But the plot is way too heavy and dark. I barely finished it."
"May I?"
"Suit yourself." She hands it to him. "Just make sure to write that you have it."
"Will do." He continues on, stopping by his desk to safely deposit it and then at the whiteboard with all of the current manuscripts to write his name.
"Oh? Something caught your eye, Aizen-kun?" a male voice calls.
Ichigo looks to the side to see Hamasaki-san holding two coffee cups, no doubt continuing with his way too subtle way of courting Kita-san.
That, or he's trying to pull a Pavlov.
Either way is possible.
"The title looks interesting." He shrugs.
The older brunette nears to read the title, eyebrows raised. "Huh, quite the heavy material."
"You know about it?"
"Yup. It went through Ai-chan and Koko-chan and they both said that it's too depressing to publish."
"Huh." He looks back at the board.
"But who knows, maybe you're the one that will like it enough for it to be released."
The story starts off slow, then picks up the pace.
It's great and tragic and dark, filled with carefully researched facts and details that breathe life into the characters.
It makes him feel uncomfortable at the similarities between him and the main character.
He stops reading it, lying to himself that it's a short break.
Karin is mad.
He knows why.
She's been giving him the cold shoulder since he came back from the beach with a tan, a cat, and memories of what could possibly be his first love. She's mad because he didn't call them.
It doesn't matter (it does). If she's going to be mad because he didn't call her, then he will also be mad because she didn't call him.
(It's unfair towards his sister.)
At the start of November, Cherī asks him a question that he feels will dictate what his future will be.
She asks, "Would ya like ta' spend winter vacay wit' ma' family?"
It catches him off guard and he automatically says yes, then no, then says I need to think for a bit, but the answer in his head is yes.
Cherī, like the amazing friend that she is, says, "Take all da time ya need."
He should just agree and get it over with, but something – maybe guilt, maybe something else – keeps him from doing so.
Yuzu is sad.
Ichigo pretends not to notice.
She looks at him with those kicked puppy eyes that he always gives into.
He looks away.
If they were so worried, then why didn't they call him?
(He's unfair towards her.)
It's soup season. Chicken soup, specifically.
"Chicken soup is great fer any weather an' mood." Cherī tells him as they are shopping. "It's easy ta' make an' tasty! It always makes me sleepy afta two bowls."
The girl is comparing two packets of chicken breast – with only a slight difference in weight – while he is wondering if he should buy ribs or pork.
"You really like soup, don't you?" He picks the pork. Goat-face should never be allowed to eat with his hands.
"Only chicken. Pa taught me how ta' make it."
He hums. "Karin hates soup."
"She does?"
"Yeah. It's my fault, really. Back when I was learning to cook, she and Yuzu would be my testers. For some reason, making any kind of soup or liquid meal took longer for me to learn, so now she hates soup."
Cherī shoots him a look. "Even miso?"
He nods solemnly. "Even miso."
"How'dja fuck up dat?!"
He laughs. "I don't know. I just did!"
"Yer never cooking in ma' house." She grumbles, placing the chicken in the basket.
"That was before. I can cook now." They turn to the sweets aisle.
"Don't believe it till Ah see it."
Sōsuke, like any cat, likes to explore.
He walks up the stairs, crawls under furniture, climbs up the beds, cries for help when his claws get stuck on the duvet, somehow climbs up the bookcases and fridge, cries again for help getting down, gets locked in the clinic and makes Ichigo worried when he can't find him, and tries to open closed doors by clawing at them.
Ichigo finds it adorable and calls him an explorer.
The rest of the Kurosaki family calls him a menace and other such words (Yuzu actually calls him a rude boy).
"He's just like Aizen." Isshin growls, rubbing his fingers after the kitten had bitten him again.
The bluenette ignores him, petting the sweet little angel that is in his lap.
Goat-face has been like that since Ichigo returned.
He's not like that because he was worried about Ichigo, but because Ichigo made his daughters worry.
The bluenette pays him no mind.
Why should he care what he thinks?
"Am I a good brother?"
Haru looks up from his book. "What brought dis on?"
The teen shrugs, remaining at his place in the doorway. Haru puts away the book and takes off his reading glasses, gesturing for him to sit down.
He does and waits for the elder to start.
"What makes ya think dat?" then paraphrases, "What made ya think yer a bad brother?"
"I never contacted them when I was away."
"Ya needed a break. Dat was da whole point of da trip, wasn't it?"
"But still..."
"Did they contact ya?"
"No..."
"If not contactin' makes one a bad siblin', den yer sisters are also guilty."
He sighs, shaking his head. "No, that's not true. They're great."
"But dey didn't contact ya either. Did dey search fer ya?"
He frowns. "I don't know."
"Did dey tell da police?"
"No." He was certain.
"Tell me," Haru leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and chin on intertwined fingers. "What did dey do den?"
Ichigo thinks. He thinks for a while. Yet nothing comes to mind.
And that.
That hurts.
His face must have shown what the answer was because Haru leans back. "Exactly. Yer not a bad brother, Ichigo. But yer family's lack of action ain't good. What if something had actually happened to ya? Den what?"
The teen feels hot and cold. He stands up and walks (runs) away.
How utterly human of him to run away from the truth.
He returns home Kurosaki residence home.
To his empty home. (He wants to laugh at the sentence.)
His throat feels tight and his body is like lead. His footfalls are loud in the silent house. The door to his room creaks open.
At least Sōsuke has found a sunny spot on his bed.
Carefully so as to not wake the kitten, he lays down; his torso is immediately warmed up by the sunlight, though his feet remain cold.
He lays like that for a moment longer, before he reaches for his bag between the bed and desk, hidden by the blanket. From there he pulls out the manuscript.
He stares at the title and then opens it.
Chapter 5: False promise
The necklace was not ugly, nor chunky, but neither was it beautiful or elegant. It was a simple silver chain with a simple thin oval locket that no one has yet been able to open. It was such a simple item that one wouldn't even pay it any mind – maybe occasionally even forgetting to put it on.
And yet.
Its recent history has raised quite a few eyebrows even from the most sceptic of men...
Ichigo finishes Chapter 6: Arrows just as the last of the daylight dies. He places a scrap of paper for a bookmark between the pages, closes the manuscript, and thinks.
When Karin checks on him, he feigns sleep, mind still preoccupied with the author's words.
Like a fool, the man thought they would remain lifelong friends, for what more does one need to bring people together than battle?
Truly, he shouldn't have been so trusting – at least then he would have protected his heart from breaking.
He skips school and burrows in Cherī's bed under the covers, a flashlight in one hand and the story in the other.
Nagi closes the blinds and pulls the curtains, leaving on the nightstand a mug of hot milk with honey.
"Would you like some music?" She asks as she helps him organise the blankets correctly.
"What kind?" He asks back, turning on the flashlight.
"One that sets the mood." She nods towards the pages. She gives him a walkman and a cassette with instrumental music that is a mix of melancholy and sorrow.
He turns the page.
Chapter 9: Winter
The other man had a distinctly cold personality. He held himself the way a lord would – regal and with displeasure when dealing with someone of lower status.
Kou tries to find anything of their friend in the man, but the only thing he could say is that they have the same eyes.
He is at the end of Chapter 14: Rockrose when Cherī returns – or more precisely, enters the room. She doesn't turn on the light, tripping on a slipper as she makes her way carefully to the bed. Fresh air fills the space under the blanket when she lifts it.
Ichigo doesn't look up, too engrossed in the story and blinking away tears, breath coming out of his mouth instead of his stuffy nose.
The girl lays her head on his shoulder, covering her bent legs and upper torso with the blanket, leaving a hole for breathing.
Defeat tastes like iron and ash on his tongue.
Kou wonders why Fuyuhiro did not kill him. Why leave him alive when he knew that he would do everything in his power to save Fuyume? Was he so sure of his skill and abilities that killing the man was unnecessary? Or was it arrogance brought from years of not having his decisions challenged?
Or did the man not even register him as a threat? Did he see him only as a pesky fly buzzing around a plate of food? Did he think that some slashes and spilt blood were enough to discourage him from following the path he had chosen?
Eye stinging from blood, Kou swore that he would drag Fuyuhiro off his high horse and force him to acknowledge him as an opponent.
On the first of December, when Isshin and Karin are out, Yuzu asks him to bring down the Christmas tree from the attic.
Ichigo thinks it's still early but does not argue, not when things are still a bit tense between them. So, dressed in some old clothes and a mask covering his mouth, the teen ventures into the dusty attic, a growing kitten hot on his heels, hungry for new lands to explore.
The tree is visible – covered in a plastic protective bag, right next to the boxes filled with decorations. He'll take both and save himself a future trip.
Sōsuke remains there, already lost in the old furniture and boxes, no doubt in need of a bath afterwards, as the bluenette (he should seriously dye his hair, his roots are already 6 centimetres long; maybe get a haircut as well) moves the items. After disposing of them in the living room, assembling the base of the tree and spreading its 'branches', he returns.
"Sōsuke," He calls, carefully sidestepping some broken ceramic. Had the kitten pushed it off somewhere while he was gone? "Sōsuke?"
A meow from a deeper, darker corner rang.
Ichigo has to move some items to reach the spot – heavy boxes filled with old clothes and toys, a baby carriage, two extra chairs, and what he assumes is a covered painting judging by the shape and weight. "There you are, come on." He can barely see the feline in the darkness. With no windows and the bulb long burnt out, they have to keep the hatchet open to let in some of the light from the hallway or use a flashlight if the desired item is somewhere deeper.
The meow this time is longer. It was one he associates with Sōsuke wanting more treats.
"You'll get treats after your bath. Come here, I can barely see you in the dark." He feels fur brush his outstretched hand before it is gone again. He can hear him rubbing himself against something covered with plastic. "Did you find a new treasure?"
A meow.
Sighing, Ichigo rises. "Alright, let me get my phone."
The 'treasure' is revealed to be a coffer of dark wood with complex carvings on its sides. Running his fingers over the edge, the teen wonders why it was hidden away.
"This must be your best treasure yet, sweetie." He tries opening it but finds it stuck, or locked. He checks the sides, looking for a keyhole, but finds nothing. "Guess it's stuck."
Another meow, and a leap. Sōsuke stands on top of the box, sniffing the surface.
"We can examine it later, right now we both need a bath."
When he doesn't follow, Ichigo carries him away, wondering how special the coffer was for Sōsuke to not leave it.
"A locked box?" Cherī questions, sitting in his lap and drinking strawberry milk.
"Yeah. It's really beautiful. I don't get why it isn't placed in one of the bedrooms or something."
"Ya sure der ain't a keyhole? Maybe it's one of dose dat have it hidden?"
He hugs her closer, enjoying the warmth. The weather was growing colder with each passing day and he couldn't wait to be let out on holiday.
"Maybe. I didn't get to look at it properly."
She hums her agreement. They're silent for a few minutes, enjoying the company.
"We should really dye yer hair."
"I know. What colour?"
"Ah should be askin' ya dat."
"Dunno. What colour will you do yours?"
"Thinkin' of either red or green, fer Christmas, ya know?"
He presses his face into her neck. "Can I be green and you red?"
She leans against him. "Sure."
Chapter 17: Flower
Kou dislikes the man.
Shino with his righteous eyes and broad shoulders, with his mouth set in a stubborn scowl as he talks about Fuyume, telling him about their secret friendship from an early age, about their promises and pacts, about their meetings hidden in abandoned hallways and dark forests.
About his trust and care for her.
Kou wants to grab and shake him, wants to scream in his face for what reason does he stand here telling him their story instead of helping her escape. Wants to punch him for he was the one that brought her back to a home she did not want. What meaning is there if it does nothing to help her?
One may call Kou a simpleton, a fool, a child, for his way of thinking; for thinking that emotions are enough reason for one to throw away their job, position, life without any consequence. He saw the world through the eyes of a child, thinking that every wrong is punished and every right is rewarded. That people could easily leave if they didn't like something.
And wasn't that pitiful?
"Ichi-nii."
Ichigo looks up, blinking away the tears as he meets Yuzu's eyes. "Yes? What is it?"
She stares at him in worry. "Are you alright?"
"Fine," He wipes his eyes and gestures to the book, "Just a sad part."
She nods. "Dinner is ready. You didn't answer when I called. We've all sat down."
"Right, thanks. I'll be down in a moment."
"Don't take too long or dad will eat everything."
He waves her off and returns to the page. Just one more sentence.
It was. For he truly desired everyone to have a good life.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Ichigo asks, watching curiously how Sōsuke hisses and spits at open air.
"Ichigo, control your cat!" Isshin yells, not daring to come near the feline.
"Shut up, he's just agitated." He cautiously lifts the kitten. At 5 months old, he was certainly growing big and full of energy, constantly playing tricks on the rest of the household. He would attempt to trip Yuzu, startles Karin by jumping out of nowhere, and tries to claw off Isshin's toes. Yet, Ichigo could not understand what had gotten the playful boy so mad.
"Maybe he's annoyed by the sight of dad." Karin suggests from the safety of the kitchen.
The man wails at the 'betrayal' and that seems to agitate the cat more. With a furious yowl, he launches himself out of his owner's hands, leaving bleeding scratches behind, and lands on the coffee table in front of Isshin. He spits in anger, hairs standing up and claws unshed. He yells and grows, prepared to battle with the intention of killing.
Ichigo stands in shock, hands stinging. His eyes land on Isshin and he yells, "What did you do?!"
"Nothing!" He appears shocked as well.
"You must have done something!" He prepares to argue when he sees how Sōsuke changes direction, the abuse now directed towards the kitchen. "What?"
Isshin jumps on top of the armchair the moment Sōsuke launches himself and runs towards the girls. They scream, jumping on the table and chairs to protect themselves from the furious animal.
"Sōsuke?" The teen follows, concerned more about the cat than anyone else. He finds him growling against the wall between the counter and the cupboards. A dead end. "Sōsuke," He calls out, slowly stepping forward. He did not want to be attacked by the mad feline. "Sweetheart, there's nothing there." The kitten draws out a meow in answer. "I'm going to lift you now, okay?" He moves his hands slowly so as to not startle him. Once he has a sure grasp on him, the teen lifts him, holding him away from his body.
The others watch him warily as he walks out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Only once they are in his room with the door firmly shut does the teen release him. Here, in the safety of his bedroom, Sōsuke calms down somewhat. He is still on guard but does not emit any threatening sounds.
Ichigo heaves a sigh. What on earth had gotten into his sweet angel? Looking at his sticky with blood hands, he grimaces. It is a good thing he keeps a first aid in his room.
A glance at the kitten reveals that he has positioned himself at the door, tail thrashing in anger.
Seriously, what has gotten on your nerves? Ichigo wonders as he cleans his wounds.
"How's the book?" Ai-san asks when they cross paths.
"It's good. I don't see why you don't like it." He says, washing his mug in the break room.
"You don't?" She looks genuinely surprised. "Don't you find it heavy? Depressing? Uncomfortable?"
"Well, I guess." He places it on the drying rack, facing the woman. "The beginning made me a bit uncomfortable with how close it hit home. And I suppose the author insulting Kou for his way of thinking and optimism could be seen as too pessimistic and cynical, but I find it a nice contrast to the main character's emotions and thoughts. Gives the reader a realist's opinion on the matters."
"Huh." She utters, cupping her chin in thought. "That is a rather compelling argument. I never saw it that way. I suppose I have been reading stories with the expectation that they will be an escape from reality, and when that does not happen, I give them a bad rating." Her lips twitch. "Maybe we should start giving you the stories we reject. You could be their hope for being published."
His cheeks colour. "I doubt I'm that great. I simply see both sides – Kou's optimism and hopes, and the author's realistic commentary," He pauses for a second, "that could be seen as a future self looking back on the actions of the past and no longer seeing things through rose-tinted glasses."
Ai-san stares at him, brows furrowed, and Ichigo regrets speaking so much.
"You're right." She says at last. "When you experience something unpleasant, you start calling your past self a fool for missing the signs. You start being more guarded, expecting something similar to happen in the future, insulting others when they act the same way you did, falling for the same trick." She gives him a whisper of a smile. "It's pretty awful, isn't it?"
He swallows, a lump in his throat. "Yeah, the worst."
"The best advice I can give to someone in that situation is to cut away any relation to it and try to live in the present."
He stares out the window, at the dark clouds. "What if you live with that reminder? Then what?"
"Then you bear it until you have enough funds to leave it. Then possibly go no communication – it will be hard, I won't lie, but you and your health, mental, physical or emotional, should always come first. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"Woof, what's with this depressing atmosphere?" Miura-san complains when he enters, making his way to the coffee machine.
Ai-san rolls her eyes, mock annoyance clear on her face. "I'm having a talk with Aizen-kun. Go away." She makes a shooing motion.
"Boo, no. This is the communal break room so I can stay here as much as I want."
"It's fine, Ai-san. Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it." Ichigo turns to leave, but stops when the woman calls.
"Jiro, why did you and Junko divorce?"
Ichigo looks at her shocked. He may occasionally ignore social cues, but he knew to never ask about divorce.
"Simple, she emotionally and mentally abused me." He says it so flippantly that it catches the teen flat-footed.
"What."
"It's true." He says earnestly, eyes wide. "During our two decades of marriage, whenever she had the chance, Junko would belittle, mock, and insult me. She would tell me about how nothing I did was good enough, how my literature degree was a waste of money, and how I should be thankful that she even bothered dating and marrying me. It was pretty shitty. Thank the heavens we separated." He grimaces. "Ugh, just thinking about her makes this coffee taste bad."
"But, how can you speak so easily about that?"
Miura-san exchanges a look with Ai-san. "It wasn't easy at the start. It wasn't easy admitting that something was wrong with the way she treated me. That partners were supposed to respect one another. It took reuniting with a friend for me to say that I needed help." He looks at his mug, eyelids lowered. "But even that took time. I still had to return to that house. I have a son, you know. He was nearly legal, but 'nearly' isn't completely, so I waited until Kairi turned 18 to take action, then I wouldn't have to worry about custody. The battle was long, nearly a year long, but it ended and I'm free." He smiles, a dimple on his cheek.
Ichigo steps forward. "So everything got better?"
"No." He says once again too earnestly. "My parents were, and still are, disappointed at me for divorcing. Dad said that I should have acted as a man, and put my foot down. My mom was more worried about what people were going to say. I didn't get any support from them."
"They tried persuading him into calling off the divorce." Ai-san adds, venom dripping from her words. Miura-san looks at her in exasperation.
"That they did try, but Saori attacked them verbally. During that time, he was my only friend and I am very grateful for him." He chuckles. "But I also felt bad for relying so much on him. Junko's words doing their work." He waves his hand to the side of his head.
"So what happened afterwards?" Ichigo just wants to hear the happy ending, he doesn't want any of the sad parts.
"To cut a long story short, I moved in with Saori during the battle. Junko wanted to take everything, and I had no problem with that, but Saori wanted me to fight for the things that were mine. When it finally ended, it felt strange. I felt strange. Hollow is the word I would use. After living so long with an abusive partner, you sometimes forget that not everyone is like that. It took time, and therapy, but I started getting better. I still live with Saori, tho. We've just moved into a bigger apartment. I also don't speak to my parents anymore."
Ichigo falls silent. The story has a happy ending in a way, but he isn't sure.
"It's okay." Ai-san says, placing her hand on his shoulder. "You heard Jiro. It takes time to get better, and you need support, but things get better with time."
"I get that…"
She hums, "Careful with the ending of the book. You may be able to handle the previous chapters, but I don't think you will manage then."
Chapter 19: Beautiful night
The night sky was truly beautiful, the stars twinkling and the new moon illuminating the ground.
A beautiful sky for a beautiful man .
Kou stood over Fuyuhiro, eyes tracking the man's moving chest, hair spread around his head like a dark halo.
"You've grown stronger." He says, breath laboured. It seems that the man's upbringing wouldn't allow for him do to such undignified things like gasp.
"No," Kou says lowly, truthfully. "You simply underestimated me."
The man narrows his eyes, then closes them, long lashes over pale cheeks. How could a man be so beautiful?
"You are correct." He concedes, lifting his lids to reveal grey eyes. "But now you will not be able to take Fuyume with you." His voice has grown soft, energy and blood leaving him.
"Why?" Kou tries to soften his voice, but it still comes out too loud in the silence. He lowers himself to hear better the clear voice of his enemy.
Fuyuhiro smiles and Kou feels the breath leave his lungs. The smile was not one he had ever seen before. It was soft and his eyes were laughing at him.
"Because, with me gone, she will need to take the title and responsibilities. She will not be able to escape."
Kou is silent, the only sound is the dying man's breath. Finally,
"That may be true." He reaches out and brushes away stray hairs from Fuyuhiro's face, thumb caressing the cold cheek. "But that doesn't mean I won't still try."
The man watches him, feeling the leather of the glove on his face. Half of Kou's face is shadowed, a fresh wound running over his nose and above his eye, barely missing and blinding it. It still bleeds, dripping red onto the snow-covered ground.
"You are a fool." He whispers.
His enemy surprises him.
He smiles fondly.
As though they were not opponents a handful of minutes ago. As though he had not left him for dead days ago with wounds that have surely not healed yet. As though he did not stand between him and Fuyume.
As though they were friends.
The thumb sweeps over his cheek again.
Fuyuhiro's eyes widen when Kou leans over him, faces centimetres apart, to whisper. "I know."
The leather feels warm against the chilled pale cheek.
"Want me to show you the coffer after this?" Ichigo asks, head tipped back as Cherī bleaches his hair.
"Hell yeah."
It's still where he left it, against the wall and covered in a too-large tarp. Cherī shines a flashlight against it.
"Let's move it."
They slowly and meticulously examine it for any holes or switches. After the first two rounds, Cherī pushes more pressure in her fingers to see if anything would give away.
"Ah found sumthin." She keeps her finger on a fleur-de-lis, wiggling it.
"Try turning it?" Ichigo suggests when it could not be pushed or moved sideways. "Or maybe it's removable?"
Using her nails as well, Cherī turned the carved figure. It moved, exiting the box with each turn. It was a good 8 centimetres long. The teen tries opening the lid, but it wouldn't budge.
"Maybe we need ta do da same wit' da others?"
They proceeded to do just that. After each piece and attempt was made. Only after all five were extracted did it open.
"Woah." Cherī breathed.
Ichigo feels his stomach drop.
"So cool." She extends her hand to touch one of the bracelets, but is stopped by the bluenette's harsh grip. "Ichi?"
He shakes his head, unconsciously squeezing her wrist. He stares and feels his world darken, his heart palpitating and a chill seeping into his body, as though he took a dive in the river in the middle of winter.
It couldn't be.
No. No. No. No no nonononononon–
It had to be a joke.
A cruel cruel joke made by someone.
It couldn't be true.
It couldn't.
This couldn't be the truth!
There are bodies
But these are not mine
"Ichigo!" Cherī's blue eyes fill his vision. "What is it?! Tell me!"
"Cher–" He breaks off.
"Ah'm 'ere. 's okay. Don't worry."
"Cher– the box–
"Yes? What 'bout it?"
"Close it." He hisses. He covers her hand with his and presses his face against the palm. "Close and lock it. I don't want to see those God-forsaken things." He squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to open them until she did.
Wild Green was bright. Now people could joke about him being a strawberry.
Cherry's Bloody Maryturns heads and she cackles in Ishida's face.
The dyes live up to their names.
Sōsuke starts blowing up more often. Sometimes it's during the day when the others are around, sometimes it's during the night in his bedroom.
Ichigo is getting an inkling of an idea. One that he does not like at all.
One that he despises.
The past is trying to return
But he does not want it
Chapter 23: Negotiation
Kou tries to follow Shino's orders. Stay back. Stay still. Don't talk at all. Just listen.
But with every word that leaves the old man's mouth, his patience runs thin.
"We simply cannot waste our soldiers for a rescue party when they are already protecting the border! Not when a far more fruitful alternative is possible. The Noguchi want Yukimura Fuyume's hand and I say we give it to them. That way we will be able to unite our territory with their fraction." Lord Watabe says, unconcerned about the woman's feelings on the matter.
He snaps, "You can't just decide that without asking her!"
The elder scoffs, "Watch your tongue, boy! This has nothing to do with you."
"It has to do with my friend so it's my business as well!" He ignores Shino's jab. Didn't that bastard see what was happening before their eyes? These men were trying to leave Fuyume at the hands of the people who slaughtered their way into the palace and kidnapped her. Did he not see a problem with this predicament?
Once again Kou wonders if Shino even cares for Fuyume.
Ichigo closes the manuscript, too angry to read further.
Sōsuke shares his anger, but his is directed towards something else.
"Can't you calm him down?" Karin asks, annoyance clear in her tone.
The greenette watches, gripping the manuscript, "No."
"Maybe we should put him outside. It's probably time for him to become a man." Goat-face grouses.
A retort was on the tip of his tongue when he hears it.
A pained cry.
A cry that came from Sōsuke.
He turns so quickly that pain blossoms in his neck. Sōsuke is slightly away from where he was previously, meowing.
"Ichi-nii–"
Ichigo stands, ignoring Karin who is distressed, grabs the kitten, and makes his way to the front door.
"Ichi-nii, please," Karin and Yuzu follow, "It was an accident!"
"Yuzu, Karin," The two stop. "I'm going away for a bit."
Tears are gathering in Yuzu's eyes. "Ichi-nii."
"I'm telling you this time, aren't I?" He walks out, ignoring his sisters' cries, focused entirely on Sōsuke.
Ichigo wants to believe he is not followed on his way to the Akao home, so he does. He ignores his anxieties and tries to fool himself into thinking that whichever bastard hurt Sōsuke remains in Isshin's house.
"Ichigo!" Chirps happily Haru when he opens the door, but then he takes notice of his mood, "What is it?"
"Can I stay here? Please?" He begs. The only thing he bothered bringing was Sōsuke, the manuscript, his phone, and the clothes on his back. Hell, he didn't even grab a jacket when he stormed off.
"Of course! Come in, come in! Yer lips are blue!" The man curses, ushering the teen inside the warm home. "Have ya eaten? Of course ya haven't. Cherī! Heat up some of yer soup!"
"What's happening?" Nagi appears in the hall. "Ichigo! What happened? Where's your coat!?"
"Kurosaki house." He presses close to her and she instinctively wraps her arms around him. "Can I please stay here?" He begs, pressing his face against her warm neck.
"Of course." She pulls him towards the living room to sit on the couch. Haru reappears with a blanket and makes a burrito out of the teen.
"Tell us what happened." She orders, sitting next to him, Haru mirroring her.
"Can we wait for Cherī?" He pulls his hands and the precious cargo out of the blanket.
Nagi's eyes soften. "Of course."
Sōsuke leaves the teen's embrace to walk around the blanket, no visible injury. He was probably startled that someone had been rough with him, but that doesn't calm Ichigo's mind; not when he hadn't seen what had happened.
"Careful, it's warm." Cherī carefully walks, using oven mittens to carry the bowl. She deposits it on the coffee table and runs back to bring a spoon.
Nagi waits for him to have a few spoonfuls before repeating her question.
"I don't know really." He chooses his words purposefully, trying not to stray too far from the truth but still changing the characters' roles and actions. "I was reading the manuscript when Sōsuke started hissing again – he's been doing it a lot lately. Karin complained, suggesting that we let him outside. I turned to answer when he cried out in pain. I turned back and saw Goat-face – Isshin – near him. I didn't know how to react other than grab Sōsuke and come here."
The lie feels like ash on his tongue, but he does not choke.
The family shares his displeasure, the unflattering image of Isshin in their minds helping.
"You're staying here." Announces Nagi, pink lips twisted in a scowl. "You have clothes here, right? If you need us to get something for you from that house, just tell us and we will."
Love blossoms in his chest and he agrees.
He spends the last school days before break in the Akao household. The morning after that night, Yuzu had called him, pleading that he returned home.
"Yuzu," He had said softly, mindful of Cherī using his shoulder as a pillow. "I don't know if you saw what happened last night, but I'm not returning until I know such a thing will not happen again. Sōsuke had been blowing a lot the days leading up to last night. I will know if there is even a chance of a repeat."
I know about the spiritual visitor and I don't what them there anymore, is what he meant.
She had been silent, then promised to talk to Isshin and Karin about it.
Ichigo knew she would rip up the town if it meant he would return to the Kurosaki residence, but he selfishly hoped it would take a bit of time.
Three days before Christmas, Nagi's sister and niece arrive.
Stepping through the door and seeing Noriko made Ichigo feel like a kid again.
"There's my little heart." She purrs, a smirk on her red lips.
"Noriko?" Is all he says before launching himself at her, wrapping her in his arms and pressing his face into her shoulder, eyes tearing up.
She laughs, "You still cry so easily," but still wraps her arms around him. "Look at you, you're taller than me."
"What?" He pulls back, disbelief written on his face when he sees she is speaking the truth – the top of her head reached his mouth. That makes fresh tears come.
"Hey, hey," She hushes him, wiping away the ones that fell. "What's all this crying for? I thought you wanted to grow tall. You would always have a tantrum whenever Ryoko used her height against you."
That is true, but it only makes him cry harder. His height is another way of telling that time has passed.
He does not like it.
Ryoko is as tall as Nagi. Her hair is cut into a long bob and dyed brown. Her face is still somewhat the same – oval but without the baby fat, her nose is long and a bit wide, her lips are stained red (it looks like she has picked up her mother's fondness for red lipstick), and eyes a very dark brown. Although hidden by her clothes, Ichigo could feel the muscles when they hugged. No doubt she could easily carry him.
"Geez, first orange and now green? Do you hate black that much?" She teases, indicating his hair.
He laughs, "You're one to talk. I know for a fact your hair's naturally black."
Her laugh is still the same – as though someone was choking.
"You have always had a fondness for cats." Noriko says when she catches sight of Sōsuke.
"Really?" His head is in her lap, practically purring as she pets his hair.
"Definitely. Remember Mr Tophat?" The name brings back memories of a white skeletal cat that did not have fur.
"I didn't imagine him? He is – was real?" He sits up.
"He still is. Follows us around whenever we take care of the meat. And outside of that." She winks. "Ryoko swears she can occasionally see him – a blurry silhouette, she says, but still there."
That punches the breath out of him. Mr Tophat was real and still around. Not a figment of his imagination that Noriko and Ryoko had humoured, but real and alive.
"How is he? Is he eating well? No one is bothering him, right?" He thinks for a moment, then asks somewhat hushed, afraid of who may hear, "Has he evolved?"
She quirks a brow at the last question. "I assume he is doing well, can't tell if he is being bothered. He's started helping us, actually. It was a bit awkward at the start talking to thin air but we got used to it. I don't know about evolution, though. What's that supposed to mean?"
His throat closes, memories of Hueco Mundo rushing back. He squeezes his eyes shut to chase them away. "Not today. Please."
Noriko, used to his states from long ago, drops the matter.
Chapter 27: Blue
Blue.
The man's eyes were blue.
Blue like the sky on a cloudless day in summer.
Blue like the sea illuminated by the sun.
Blue like the sapphires on Fuyume's bracelet that she keeps locked away in her treasure chest.
Kou, like a weak man, cannot look away from him.
"Keep staring like that and you'll lose your head." The man jeers.
"I wouldn't mind if it's you who cuts it off." He thinks.
The evening before Christmas, and the arrival of Haru's parents and nephew from the States, Ichigo finds himself on the veranda, sleep a distant idea. It's quiet, the street lightened by the decorations the neighbours have put up, and snow was falling.
Bundled up in a borrowed coat, the teen stands, not waiting for anything in particular. That is until he feels his pants move, as though something is winding itself around his legs.
Sōsuke? He thinks, looking down.
There is nothing. Nothing other than cat prints in the snow, and more appearing.
"Ah," He says intelligently. Hope swells in his chest.
Follows us around whenever we take care of the meat. And outside of that.
His lips quiver as he whispers, "Mr Tophat?"
The cat – because what else could it be? – presses its paws against Ichigo's knee. He may not feel it, but the material of his pants moves.
Tears well up.
(A small boy talking to a white cat that only he could see. A cat that would lift itself on its hind legs, front ones pressing against the boy's body to demand things – more food, pets, cuddles, to be carried around. A cat that would follow him everywhere – from school to work to home, where it would stand outside or on his window, to watch over him.)
"Hello. Good evening." He chokes out. He can't hear him, but he can imagine him saying a greeting back in that low voice of his.
The teen crouches, eyes closed, and tries to gather any possible spiritual energy he may have left to just feel him.
Chapter 32: Shield and chain
"Go." The man orders, muscles straining against the attack.
"No." Kou refuses, sword swiftly cutting down his enemies.
"Don't waste time on me, boy." Natsu says, overpowering his opponent enough to push them back and kill them with his spear. "You said it yourself, time is of the essence. You need to save your friend."
"What about you? I can't leave you here!"
Natsu laughs low and deep. "Look at me, Kou. I am a member of the Noguchi. No matter where I go, I will be killed."
"Come back with us! We'll protect you!"
The man looked at him pitifully. "It doesn't work like that. Even if you try your best to excuse my name, I will still be assassinated."
"But you can't stay here!" They had to hurry, more were coming.
"I know. I'm committing treason by helping you. Which is why I will die fighting while you save the girl."
"No," He says, a touch away from begging, "I can't let you."
The older man smiles sadly. "You don't have a choice."
Before he can react, Kou is grabbed and thrown through the entrance, the heavy door pulled shut and locked. He pounds, screaming, demanding, begging the man to unlock it.
"Go!" He hears him yell. "While you still have time! I'll hold them off."
It's nearly dinner time when Haru returns from the airport bringing his side of the family.
Akao Saki is petite, old age making her shorted than Nagi. Grey hair pulled back in a bun, narrow brown eyes behind black cat eye glasses, face sharp, her thin lips stretched into a wide smile as she is greeted.
Michael is taller than his wife, but still shorter than Ichigo. His hair is already white and thinning. His eyes (though more watery), face, nose and lips are like his son's.
Jason, the grandson, is shy. He is two years younger than Cherī and has wild brown hair, chartreuse eyes, and a round face with a wide nose. His clothes are dark and baggy, a complete contrast to his grandparents' bright and fitted ones.
"Ya've grown taller, Cherī." Saki says, hugging her granddaughter. "An' ya've dyed yer hair again."
It seems the dialect is hereditary.
"Ah'm surprised yer's ain't!" She says back.
"Leave ma' hair alone!"
They laugh, exchanging greetings and hugs.
Ichigo stays back, hidden behind the kitchen wall.
"Now, where's this Ichigo we've been hearing so much about?" Michael looks around them, surprising the teen. "We've got a present for him!"
"Ichi, stop hidin' in da kitchen an' come meet da rest of da family!" Cherī calls out and he listens.
The moment he is in their sights, Jason screams bloody murder.
"What's wrong with you?!" He shrieks in English.
"Da hell, Jason?!" Yells back Cherī.
Two sets of thumps come from the stairs. "What happened? Who's screaming?" Asks Noriko.
The family clamours, repeating the same question over and over until Jason's voice rings the loudest.
"What is wrong with your soul?!"
All eyes turn to Ichigo.
Silence prevails.
"Ichi?" Asks Cherī.
"What happened?" Noriko demands.
The spotlight is on him now.
He looks at them, throat closing. "I messed up."
The family migrates to the living room, sitting on any possible surface with Ichigo as the centre on the couch, Cherī on his right, and Noriko, who pushed away her sister, on his left.
"What happened? What did you do?" Noriko's voice is stern, as stern as it was eight years ago. Cherī shoots her a look at the tone but does not say anything.
"I messed up," He swallows, "Big time."
"We already got that." Ryoko says from the floor. "What we want to know is how."
When it looked like he would not speak Noriko squeezes his hand. "We can't help you without you telling us what has happened, little heart, so you best start blabbering.
"Noriko." Hisses Nagi, pinching her.
"Does it have to do with your soul?" inquires Jason. His eyes flicker to the side to Sōsuke. "And with the weird cat that is sleeping with the regular one?"
Ichigo is surprised that he speaks properly. It must have skipped a generation.
"Ichigo." Warns Noriko when it looked like he was getting distracted again.
He looks at her, eyes wide, then at Cherī, Jason, and finally Sōsuke and Mr Tophat. He takes a deep breath and exhales, "Okay," He squeezes the hands holding his and starts talking.
The family listened, occasionally asking for clarification on something or terms, Ryoko and Noriko demanding that he tells the whole truth whenever he tries to omit something (they can still read him so well), but mostly stayed silent as he confessed about what had happened that single year (the realisation of how long the period had been rattled him).
It was past midnight when he finishes his tale, throat sore and face sticky.
The family remained silent, digesting the information.
The first to speak is Cherī.
"Ichi, the chest..." She does not continue, but he could guess.
He nods, "Yeah," He croaks, "Those were Quincy crosses."
"Why?"
He laughs, "I don't know. Isshin is a Shinigami, they couldn't be his unless they were some sort of trophies, but even then–"
"What about your mother?" Michael asks, brows lowered. "What is – was she?"
"Human." He does not hesitate. "She was human."
"Was she?" Challenges Saki, lips twisted.
"Yes, I'm certain–"
"As certain as you were that your father is human?" Mocks Ryoko.
That shuts him up.
"We need to get that chest." Noriko decides. She stands up, examining the gathered. "Jason, how did you know about his soul? About Mr Tophat?"
The teen curls up, trying to make himself smaller. A nudge from his grandfather has him speaking. "I've been doubling in the occult for a while now – nearly three years. I've... I started seeing things two months ago – spirits, souls. Before I had to use a mirror to even have a chance of contacting something, but now..." He shrugs, looking as helpless as Ichigo feels.
"What does his soul look like? You reacted so violently before."
Jason chances a look in his direction and only now does the greenette notice that the other has been looking everywhere but in his direction. "It's broken. Like, like – a ball!"
"A ball." Ryoko deadpans.
He flushes, "A crystal ball. A crystal ball that has been dropped and shattered. Then someone else took away a large portion of the glass and left you to pick up the rest and try to fix it but with so many pieces missing, you can't so you leave it." He looks up at Ichigo and then away. "That's the best way I can describe it."
The greenette feels light, like he can just float away (Like Tensa Zangestu in his inner world, but wait that doesn't exist anymore, he killed him, didn't he?)
He feels his head being turned. Cherī is looking at him in worry and he wants to assure her that he's fine (he's not)but he can't get his lips to move. Instead, he watches as hers move without emitting a sound, then Haru appears and his lips are also soundless. The man then snaps his fingers and has the world been put on mute by chance? He can't hear a thing. Or did he become deaf? Maybe the consequences of dying that time are finally catching up. They certainly took their sweet time.
Oh, the world seems to be narrowing as well. Darkness is creeping at the edges of his vision. Maybe he'll be blind as well? But then how will he beat up those tugs that keep coming? Cherī is right, they really are idiots.
The last thing he sees before losing consciousness is the dark brown of Noriko's eyes and her pale face.
He has a splitting headache when he wakes up.
"Finally awake, Ah see." A voice says from his left. It hurts to move his head so he turns his whole body. Sitting on a chair next to the bed and embroidering by the light of a candle is Saki.
"That's bad for your eyes." He croaks out.
She smiles, putting down the aida cloth and reaching for a bottle of water by her feet. "Barely awake an' already scoldin'. Cherī wasn't exaggeratin' when she spoke of ya."
He gratefully accepts the bottle and downs half of it. "What time is it?"
"03:34, 27th December. Ya woke up in time fer ma' birthday. Ya wanted a piece of cake, didn'tja?" She teases.
"What." Eyes wide, he looks around for his phone.
Saki shushes him, "Settle down. Ya wouldn't want ta wake up Cherī, rite? Poor thing has been worried sick fer ya since ya fainted."
He looks at the other side of the bed – it was Cherī's room, he notes – to see the girl sleeping, hair hiding her face. A hand settles on top of his head.
"If ya behave ah'll tell ya what happened."
He nods and lays down again, body turned to her. Saki picks up her embroidery, "Ah'm not sure what happened, but ma' son says ya went inta shock – from da stress of recountin' da evens to us or Jason's explanation of what happened to yer soul, or maybe both – and lost consciousness. We put ya in Cherī's room – we're not real big on going ta' da hospital, ya know? Dat's why we sent Haru to study medicine. – an' had Haru check you. When he gave us his diagnosis, warning us dat it's only surface level since he doesn't have any equipment 'ere, we settled back in da livin' room ta' talk. Cherī wanted ta' stay 'ere, ta' keep watch, but Noriko said dat her kid would do it an' dat Cherī was needed fer sum questions."
She pauses, undoing a stitch before continuing, "We asked 'er 'bout what she knew, but she didn't have much ta' say – keepin' yer friends at an arm's length, ay?" He looks away in shame and guilt. Saki chuckles, "Don't be like dat. Yer Noriko's, 'course ya would be cautious. Anyway, we gathered an' Nori decided that we would steal yer mother's – what did ya call it again? Quickie? Quiche? – chest. Cherī was ta' be part of da team as she was da only one dat knew how big an' where it was. It was utter luck dat yer... family was leaving da house when she an' Ryoko made their way der. Dey called us ta' bring da car while dey entered – sorry 'bout borrowin' yer keys witout yer permission – and made deir way ta' da attic."
She wavers for a moment, as though deciding on whether to tell him something. "Dey also brought back sumthin' else. A little orb, like a candy."
His heartbeat quickened.
"Apparently, a stuffed lion toy saw dem an' started yellin'. Ryoko kicked it an' it spit it out."
"Where is he?" He asks.
"The candy? Well, dey left it on a plate, but it seems ta' have disappeared."
"Disappeared?" He parrots.
She nods, "Disappeared." She looks at him from the corner of her eye. "Although, Jason did mention seein' Mr Tophat near da plate at dat time."
Ichigo trembles. He feels awful that Kon could very well have been eaten.
"Dey went up ta' da attic, got da chest an' made deir way out. Da house doesn't have any security – not a good thing generally, ya never know if someone can't just pick da locks – an' other than da chest's weight, it was very simple fer dem."
He thinks for a while, "Where is it now?"
She points to the wall next to the door.
In the candle's flickering light the wood looked richer, the carvings losing some of themselves in the dancing shadows.
"'Rite where it should be."
His awakening is accepted with much fanfare. Cherī makes sure to wash his shirt with her tears as Haru and Nagi tag team and try to break his bones with a tight hug.
Noriko caresses his cheek, "My foolish little heart." while Ryoko holds him in a chokehold. She has always been a tsundere.
"Now that you're finally awake, we can give you your present." Michael says as Jason hides behind him.
"But I haven't gotten anything for you."
"Bah!" He bats his hand like his granddaughter, as though swiping at an annoying mosquito. "You're the kid, and we're the grandparents. It's our job to spoil you."
His cheeks flush and love blooms in his chest.
"Now close your eyes and hold out your hands."
He does that, allowing for them to be arranged appropriately. His eyes snap open when he feels a weight covered in fur placed. In his hands is a kitten. They have long hair and colouring similar to Sōsuke's.
"It's a Main Coon." Michael says.
"Hello." He greets and they stare back, blue eyes wide.
"The other one has already familiarised himself with them. And so has the ghost cat by Jason's words."
Ichigo stares, trying to think of a good name for the little one. They stare back, but then their attention is grabbed by something else. They lay down on his hands, stretch out their paw and try to catch something invisible. Given the impressions on the plush carpet, it's Mr Tophat.
He laughs, "Are you bullying Mr Tophat, sweetheart?
They don't answer, but they do rear back and start meowing a moment later, the steps rapidly moving away.
"Oh, darling. Did you get hit?" He feels mean for laughing, "Don't cry. It's all right now. I'm here."
Chapter 34: Bite and Slash is read on the couch by candlelight, long after everyone has retired after the celebration, with two cats sleeping on his chest and a third one possibly nearby.
Chapter 35:Melodies follows him to the kitchen for another cup of hot chocolate.
Chapter 36: A kiss makes him yearn and his grip tighten.
A kiss.
A farewell kiss.
Rin's lips are cold and chapped, tasting of blood and metal.
Kou pulls back to see once again that scarred face, choppy hair framing it and dark eyes staring at him, waiting for him to make his move.
He surges back.
The sun shines on him and Chapter 37: Eyes of the Victor
Kou stands before Fuyume, bloodied and hurt.
She stands before him, well and dressed in pristine silks and gold.
They stare at each other.
He smiles at her.
She does not.
Shino rushes past him and hugs Fuyume, pulling her close to his chest and soiling the clothes with blood.
"Ah," Kou thinks, "So now you appear, when the battle is done and the enemies slain."
The chest is unlocked, the figures set beside him.
Ichigo stares. He would have stared till the end of time if Sōsuke (curious, curious Sōsuke) did not demand that he opens it.
"Okay, okay," He says, trying to appease his insistent meowing. The new kitten, still nameless, meows along, already learning how to be naughty by his elder.
Inside...
Inside there is a small compartment – a corner used to make a box – filled with silver crosses. On one end of the box is a uniform like Ishida's, all pristine white with blue, and the rest of the space is taken up by books. Pulling out one, Ichigo sees that it's in German, and so are the rest when he checks them.
He thinks back, trying to dig up old memories of Masaki. Trying to see if she ever tried teaching him some. But oh, it was no use. He has been keeping those memories of her locked and hidden for so long that they are riddled with holes. Keeping them hidden so that he may remember yet forget the past; letting yet forbidding them from interfering with the present.
What an oxymoron.
The new arrival's meow draws his attention to see him pawing at one of the books.
The book opens, no doubt by the paw of Mr Tophat. He never had problems opening hardcovers, it was the turning of pages that gave him some.
Not wanting for the book to be damaged, Ichigo turns the pages, the little one posing as though to read. When they reached the end, he jumps onto another book and meows.
"Are you going to be a bookworm?" He idly asks, already turning the pages.
They go through every page of every book, neither understanding the language. It's Mr Tophat who stops him on a page that has the portrait of a man with long dark hair riding a horse.
"What an ugly moustache." He says and the cats meow in what he thinks is agreement. His eyes track the lines of the drawing, the hair that with clever use of shadows and white has separate strands, the long face, broad chin, straight nose, pronounced cheekbones, and surprisingly thin eyebrows.
He wasn't an ugly man. If anything, with that frown drawn on he resembles Zanget–
"...Ah." He utters, eyes closed and leaning back. It looks like you were also hiding a secret, Old Man.
He looks at the page, searching for the man's name.
Yhwach it reads underneath.
"Yhwach." Ichigo sounds out.
The kitten meows.
"Yhwach." He names him.
Chapter 39: Pendulum
And there he lay, the hero. The man who fought, bled, wounded and killed to save his friend. Who willingly entered a war for that same friend who then oh so easily forgot about him. Truly, what reason did she have to remember the man who saved her?
Kou closed his eyes, letting the waves of the sea lap up his body and blood. The sword, his sword, in his slacking grip.
He looked at the night sky. The moon reminded him of Fuyuhiro. The ocean reminded him of the blue-eyed man whose name he did not get to learn. And the black sky reminded him of Rin and the kiss they shared – the sweetest kiss he has ever received.
He was a hero, so he would die like one – wrapped in tragedy.
And here was the story of Kou: a man who left his old life for a friend, who fought and fought, who met new people, grew attached to them, then lost them in some way – in battle or abandoned by them. A man who was thrown away like a broken quill after he had fulfilled his duty, and was left alone.
He was optimistic in the beginning, thinking that soon his friends would visit him, would come and drink the way they had promised to do after the war, but days turned into weeks turned into months. After a year, he at last admitted that they would not come.
He felt resentment towards them, of course. He had sacrificed so much for them and they abandoned him like a dog. But, he thought, they are under no obligation to consider him a friend. He had been the one to join the war without second thoughts. That was on him.
Here he lay, on the sandy beach, bleeding from a self-inflicted wound using the sword given to him by Fuyume, the sky, moon and ocean the only witnesses.
Kou closed his eyes and never opened them again.
Ichigo places the manuscript in front of Nagi.
"Do you also reject it?" She asks, already expecting him to repeat what the others had already said.
"No." He taps on the title, "Print it."
"Excuse me?" She raises a brow.
"Print her. The story is good. The characters are memorable, their actions and emotions human. The fights may be exaggerated and unrealistic but I assume that the author does not have a background in fighting – martial or with weapons."
"And the ending? I got a lot of complaints about it being too dark."
He takes a deep breath and meets her eyes. "Yes, it's dark, but realistic. After going through all of that, it wouldn't be unimaginable for Kou to take his own life – he has left his old life, his friends have abandoned him, and he has outlived his purpose. As good as it would be for the ending to end on a happy note, I think this has a bigger impact."
Nagi stares at him, eyes wide. "Ichigo–"
He interrupts her, not wanting to hear what she has to say, "I have Cherī, and you and Haru, and Sōsuke and Yhwach, as well as Noriko and Ryoko in Tokyo. I have my happy ending. Kou does not. I want his story to be shared."
"...Very well."
In the middle of January, on a cold and windy day, Ichigo meets Fujiwara Hina.
It's by complete chance. He had been making his way to drop off a few documents to Hamasaki-san when out of the elevator walks Miura-san followed closely by a waif in a black coat that hung off her.
"Here he is!" Miura-san cheers, "Fujiwara-san, meet Aizen Ichigo, the man who demanded that your book be published. Aizen-kun, this is Fujiwara Hina, the author of God tumbles down."
The two share pleasantries. For a person who wrote a lengthy torture scene, Fujiwara was quite the shy woman.
They soon parted ways, Ichigo to deliver the papers, and Miura-san and Fujiwara-san to iron out the last details of the book's publishing.
It wasn't until he was leaving that he meets the woman again.
"G-good eve-ning." She stutters out.
"Hello again. Did you just finish the contract?" He asks politely. He had heard stories from Ai-san about authors who just wanted the impossible and it was either their way or the highway.
"No." She looks away, "I was actually hoping that I may treat you to coffee or a drink."
He blinks in surprise. "Me? Why?"
Her cheeks reddened, "Miura-san told me about how my book wasn't going to be published – it had gone through three editors, after all – until you picked it up last October and demanded for it to be published. I would like to thank you, Aizen-san."
"Miura-san is exaggerating." He waves his hand, as though to disperse the idea. "It's really no problem, Fujiwara-san. The story was good so I told Na– Akao-san that we had to publish it."
"If it was good, then why didn't the previous editors like it?"
He thought for a moment, before choosing to be somewhat truthful. "I liked it because I have lived through something similar to Kou, and if I hadn't been found by my new best friend, then there was a good chance I would have ended up the same."
The woman covers her mouth. Ichigo feels bad for dumping on her like that. He makes to apologise but she beats him to it.
"Me too." She says, eyes shining, "I have gone through something similar."
"But you survived." He tells her.
She shakes her head, pulling up the coat's sleeve to show a long vertical scar and numerous small ones. "Barely."
He eyes them, grasping the limb and running his fingers over the raised skin. "You still did." His eyes meet hers, "And that's what matters."
It is a bit late for coffee, so they get hot chocolate. They walk around the streets of Karakura, cheeks and noses red from the biting chill, hands warmed by the beverages. They walk by shops with sparkling Christmas decorations, the noisy streets slowly turning silent as time passes.
They talk. First about the book and her inspiration for it, then about things in general, and then about their personal lives. Ichigo bends the truth here and there and wonders if Hina is doing the same.
"I'll be moving to Sendai next month." She tells him and he nods.
They walk over the bridge, the water underneath shimmering from the moon's glow. When he looks at her in the moonlight, tired brown eyes looking up at him and smiling, he feels the same way he felt with Taiga.
Ichigo falls in love with her. He falls for the girl with small hands and a round face. He listens to her tell him her entire life and imagines a future where the two are laying in bed in each other's embrace, sharing kisses now and then. He imagines kissing her hands, paying attention to the small scars that she has on her left hand. One on the second knuckle on her pointer finger that she got while cutting meat, and one on her trapezium bone that she got while playing with her dog when she was younger.
He tries imagining other moments in their imaginary affair. He can only think of waking up to her writing amazing stories that make him believe that God is still alive. He thinks that the love they have for each other with not mix well – not enough and too much. They wouldn't have arguments but you could feel their relationship falling apart only weeks – possibly days – after it has begun.
They would fit like a puzzle, though not in the way one would expect. At first glance, they would fit, but on closer inspection, you would see that their images, colours and shadows, don't. Some bits stick out and the holes are not filled. The image they create may be beautiful but you can see that they don't match. The sky is two-coloured – a bright blue and a setting orange-red; there are green wildflowers mixed in with the grain crops; the house is a mix of weathered old wood and new stained wood and brick; there's a motorboat with no water around and part of a working horse.
It doesn't matter, the pieces will soon be taken apart and placed in their correct box. The only proof of their existence would be a photo taken of the beautiful image they had created, no matter how short-lived.
That's how he imagines what their relationship would be like.
When it's time for them to separate, he is nearly consumed by the desire – the need – to kiss her. He doesn't, of course. But he still regrets it as he watches her leave with the last train for home.