Hullo, everybodys! :D Okay, quick note, because a lot of you were wondering this:
"Suuleth" means simply "wind" or "of the wind", depending on where you get your elvish. ;) You all ready get the impression that Edren simply counts Thranduil as an adoptive father, but it's more an idea than any pure fact. As to WHY he calls Thranduil "the wind" of all things, well that was hinted at on the piece of paper Legolas found, but it'll be explained later. Just so you know, though it's not a HUGE plot-point, it's just an added detail.
Anywho, onto the responses! :D
AM: LOL! Sorry if I'm confusing you. ;) I doubt anyone could be as confused as Legolas by now. :P
Deana: YUP, almost reviewer 1 again. ;) LOL! Thanks for reading!
Vicki Turner: Yeah, poor everybody. "sigh" BUT! It is awfully fun, hm? :P
Clear-as-Crystal: LOL! OH I'm so glad you feel that way. "blush" Yes, I like to add dimension to Legolas' character when I can. The fact is, I like to see him as more than an elf prince too. I'm glad it worked. THANKS SO MUCH for reviewing, Crystal! :D
Sielge: LOL! Patience, he's coming, I PROMISE! ;)
Maranwe: No, I think "wow" works great for me! ;) LOL! Thanks, Maranwe, for helping me with my grammar and spelling. It's rough for me sometimes, but it really DOES help loads to know what I need to work on. :D THANKS!
Stridergal: Did you just say "oh lordy"? LOL! That's what Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn are always saying! (I love Tom and Huck ;) HAHA! Yes, Mt. Dew cures everything that Strawberry Twizzlers don't. ;) LOL! Believe me, I wrote most of this fic drinking Mt. Dew and eating Twizzlers! :P
Cassia: LOL! Yeeeah, Legolas wasn't exactly thinking, but don't worry, Aragorn IS in part, under the influence of Bengwiil. "sniffle" I do so HATE putting them at odds with each other, but well- "sigh" anyways. ;) YES, poor poor Edren. But yet again- not EVERYTHING is what it sounded like, on Legolas' part- so, don't hate him yet. :P As though I could ever GET Cassia to hate Legolas. ;) LOL!! Thanks again for reviewing, oh busy Torcheress! :D I can't wait for C-8 chapter 3 tomorrow! "nod nod" ;) until then, mellon nin!
Leralonde: yeah, poor poor Edren. But as I mentioned to Cassia, don't worry about Leoglas' temper yet- not everything is as it sounded. :) Thanks for posting!!
LegolasLover: "wide-eyed look" golly, your mind HAS been busy! LOL! Okay, I won't answer ALL your questions, like you didn't know THAT all ready ;), but I will clear a few things up for ya, since you've bothered to write such an INCREDIBLY long review! ;) For one, no Edren is not Legolas' brother. It's AMAZING how well it sounds like it would work to MAKE Edren Legolas' brother, "applauds loudly" but he's not. Just his friend. (two of your questions were answered at the beginning of this post, by the by). And as to the smelling Bengwiil thing, we know from glimpses into the past, that when Bengwiil was first discovered, people treated it sort of like a drug. "Just smell it and your fears are gone!" kind of thing. It's basically what happened when Aragorn FIRST took Bengwiil in Erfier, and was overly happy and all that. And for Legolas' mother, we don't find out why she left in this fic. The whole deal with her is hidden from the books, and so many people have their own theories about it, I didn't want to make that the focus of this story, so I kept it vague. But your theories were AWESOME, LL, thanks for posting them!! "blush"
Helluin: WOW, thanks, Helluin! :D HAHA, it's funny you bring up the whole "first story" thing, cause NO I didn't plan that. When I wrote Iston, I was only PLANNING on Iston. I didn't intend to make it a series. So the whole thing with the Thranduil-dream came up MUCH later in the planning. (Nefredal, I think) I'm glad you asked, really, cause I've been dying to tell someone that. :P Thanks again, mellon nin!
Firn: LOL! Umn…"looks suspiciously at Elfie" right, okay, just don't touch the- "hears a dish break" oh. Never mind. :P LOL! Gee, Hannon le, Firn, I don't know how to thank you! (Grimi grumbles something along the lines of: I don't know WHY to thank you…) LOL! 'nough muppets for me. ;) Thanks for stopping by, girl! :D
Beregond: Hola! LOL! Yeah, my Elvish is- full of holes obviously. Unfortunately, as far as I can figure it, there are bout twelve different opinions of right and wrong Elvish floating around, and I've had about seven of them try to give me advice. "weary sigh" ;) I do try to take a look at the Movie's Elvish, like you pointed out, but some things I catch, and some I forget about. So, I'm glad that it didn't distract too much from the story, because at this rate, I'll probably NEVER find a common-ground with Elvish-experts. ;) YES! I've been there, it's SO GREAT, cause you can get ANY of the Elvish off the movie soundtrack or movies there as well. I read a few Sindarin essays, but like I said, at times they just clash with the other advice I've been given, or with what the movie went about doing. I end up a bit confused. ;) LOL! Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you liked it!
Elvin girl: LOL! Awww, I know, I hate having the mellons at odds too. "sniffle" it'll get better, I promise. ;) Thanks yet again for reading, Elvin!!
Well everyone, 11 down, 3 to go. ;) On with the drama! :P
Chapter 12
"The Facts"
Where has my heart gone?
I'm trapped in the eyes of a stranger!
Oh, I
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
And knowing nothing at all
"Field of Innocence" , Evanescence
Legolas ran as fast as his feet could carry him. Where would Aragorn go to 'clear his head'? Perhaps…back to his room? No, doubtful. How about…Legolas' room. The library? Maybe, maybe not, maybe…
Legolas had to finally come to grips with the truth. He was thinking as fast as he could and running even faster for one purpose only. He was trying to drown out his own thoughts. His memories which only now were returning.
Each step he ran, another miniscule memory that had been buried underneath the cobwebs of fantasy, surfaced, causing further pain. No matter what, it hurt. If he tried to forget, it hurt, because he was so tired of forgetting. If he remembered, it hurt, because whether it was a painful memory that was better buried, or a happy memory he regretted losing, it hurt.
His mind flitted back to Edren, and his heart ached horribly. He simply couldn't see how Edren could lie to him like that! Very nearly risk their friendship? He hated himself for making Edren do all of it. And now, Edren asked his forgiveness. After all Legolas' weakness, after making Edren go against his conscious to heal Legolas' scars, now, on top of it, Edren asked for forgiveness?
It broke the prince's heart to think of it.
"I'll ask your forgiveness, Legolas…but I shall not give it to myself."
The words made him feel sick. All these years, he'd never known just how selfless Edren had been. Through this whole battle, Edren's one thought had always been anything for Legolas. He'd traded his own innocence and comfort for Legolas' life. But what had the prince given back?
A thousand childhood, and even several recent memories surfaced in Legolas' head, and it made his stomach churn.
Memories from youth…
"Let me come with you, please, Legolas?"
"Edren, it's a chance for my father and I to do something, all right?"
"But- if I could just go for the morning, then I-"
"Edren, come on, he is my father, not your father."
Memories from his mid-ages…
"But why, Legolas? You were out in the woods in a tree at sundown, even though your father told you-"
"He said that I could not go out so late, due to the overflow of orcs by the south river, I know, Edren."
"So what were you doing?"
"I needed fresh air."
"Legolas, you know what could happen if you got hurt?"
"Would you stop nosing into my life, Edren?! Yes, okay, I know there is danger in Mirkwood at night, but sometimes I'm passed caring, all right?"
"I know-"
"You don't know, but maybe if you had to be the king's son for a day or two you'd actually care how I feel!"
Memories that felt like just yesterday…
"Well- at the least, you should leave this room."
"Hm…I shall not leave Aragorn. I promised I would not."
"Legolas. Aragorn…he is-"
"Dead. You think I do not know this?"
Every time he'd shunned Edren's kindness or needs in some way shone painfully clear in his whirling mind. All those years, and he'd never even known he owed Edren more than his love…he had owed him his life.
And Edren asked for forgiveness? Forgiveness!
He ran. Fast. Aragorn, where was Aragorn? Surely if he could only find Aragorn it would be all right! "Aragorn?" he cried, his feet beating against the stone hall floor. "Aragorn?!"
His breath panted in his ears, and as though he'd stepped into the past, the breath became smaller- not shorter, but younger. It panted quickly and falteringly in his ears. He was crying. His heart wrenched painfully in his chest as he tried to breathe.
His feet pounded against the stone steps as he called again, his shouts cracking with sobs in his keen ears. "EDREN!"
"Us nin er!" Legolas screamed, forcing the memory away, and running twice as fast. "ARAGORN!"
'leave me alone!'
- - - - -
And would my care increase
If I truly believed
That a life could be saved?
It's like me
To never see
When it came
And when it went
Now it's gone away…
"It's Like Me" , Kutless
- - - - -
Finally, he pulled to a blinding halt at a door. Where was he? He blinked. His father's door. Why? Then he remembered. This is where the twins were last he checked. Perhaps Aragorn was here! He pushed the door open.
The twins were sitting quietly about the king, who lay still in his bed, his eyes half open, and unfocussed. Elladan was applying a warm cloth to Thranduil's forehead- which was wet with something sweet-smelling -while Elrohir whispered softly in Elvish. Both twins looked up quickly when Legolas came in.
"Legolas," Elrorhir said quickly, though keeping his voice soft, so as not to awake the sleeping king. "Thank goodness, is he all right?"
Legolas stood stunned as the Elrohir came over expectantly. "He…is who all right?" he asked stupidly.
"Estel. When he left- Legolas?"
The prince's eyes went wide. "What's wrong with Estel?"
"He…he left."
Elladan stepped past his brother, his eyes deeply concerned. "Legolas. You did not go with him?"
"Go where?!" Legolas demanded.
"He said 'we are leaving, don't get father, he knows. I'll be back.' We tried to ask him where he was going, but he just said, 'tell Thranduil too, he'll want to know- he'll have to tell someone else.' and then he left! We figured you'd gone with him, he did say 'we' after all."
Legolas stood for a moment, and then, whirled around, and ran once more, the twin's calls following him. His feet nearly slipped on the first set of stairs, and then when he reached the next one, the one leading to the Great Hall, he leapt over the banister rather than taking the steps, and hit the ground running.
He reached the stables at last, his eyes darting around until they found what he was looking for. Sure enough, Horthor was gone. He kept going, outside the stable doors, towards the protective gate surrounding the Halls of Thranduil. Estel. He was almost to them- about to go through them.
"Aragorn, please! Wait!" Horthor was faster than Legolas' feet. Aragorn's selfless will strong than the prince's stamina.
Defeated Legolas stretched out his hand, and standing to a sudden halt, shouted: "Enthi telu im!" in a commanding voice. The gates shut with a loud clang.
Aragorn stopped just short of the iron gates, and turned his horse around, backtracking slowly until he was just a few yards away from where Legolas was catching his breath. "I couldn't tell you I was going," he said quietly. "I told my brothers to tell the king when he awoke, and thought…that maybe he could tell you instead." He shook his head apologetically.
"Aragorn- where were you going?"
"Legolas, leave me alone-"
"Even if you won't let me go with you, tell me that I might find you again." Legolas shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand, mellon nin, what is it? Where are you going so quickly? There is no one in Rivendell for you-"
Aragorn rode up to face the elf, and then held out his hand as though it were a weapon. "I don't want to- hurt you, Legolas."
"You won't…hurt me, Aragorn, what do you mean?"
"I mean…I-" Aragorn's fingers flew to his belt, and he jerked a hunting knife from it. With a sudden slash which made Legolas' hand go for one of his elven knives in blind defense, Aragorn ran the knife across his palm.
Legolas' arm came back down slowly from its defensive pose, and he sheathed his knife the next moment, eyes never leaving Aragorn's slit hand. It was bleeding. But like in the clearing with Elrond- it wasn't crimson blood. It was tinged green.
"I don't want to hurt you, Legolas Greenleaf," Aragorn whispered. "If I stay, I know what will happen."
Legolas shook his head. "What, Aragorn. What do you think will happen?"
Aragorn's voice was strangely vacant as he spoke. "What happened last time."
Memories echoed around Legolas' head at the words and the meaningful look in his mortal friend's eyes…
"You are my friend."
"You hate me."
"You are my friend!"
"Leave me!"
"Aragorn listen to me!"
"No! No, leave me in peace! I can't stand it, leave me! Do not touch me, Legolas, I can't stand it!"
"Aragorn…"
"I'll never forget your fear. Fear I have caused you. I don't want to attack you with words I do not mean, and I don't want to die before you again. Bengwiil robs me of all my control, Legolas. I can't- I will not do that to you." Aragorn's eye contact broke away from Legolas' with painful abruptness, and he turned Horthor around in a half circle. "Come look for my body in the woods someday, if you must, but please…open the gates."
He was doing it again, wasn't he? Legolas was being too weak for his friend, making him do something he feared and hated. Are you going to let Aragorn do what Edren has?
"No." Legolas sprinted to Horthor's side, gripping the horse's main, and caused Aragorn to look at him again. "You can't go without me. You. Can't. I won't let you."
"And what will you do, Legolas? Give me some more Bengwiil? I don't think I can take that…I'm all ready feeling waves of unrealism. The whole world tips around me, mellon nin, even your own features swirl now and then…it's all bound to happen eventually with Bengwiil. It's all bound to fail." And it was very quietly indeed that Aragorn said next, with a tone that related gentle truth, "You can't save me."
Legolas stood silent, his fingers feeling about Horthor's mane absently. "Forgive me, Estel. I have wasted the time I bought you with Bengwiil- wasted it on Edren and I. On memories that now- that now I don't want. But I want to change that now, Aragorn, I want to help you all I can. And yes, give you Bengwiil yet again, if that is what it takes!"
Legolas stepped away from the horse a pace, his eyes suddenly more saddened then determined. "But I will do nothing against your will. Not this time. I won't let you take Bengwiil again so that I may preserve your life…I can't go against you anymore, Aragorn. Not now I know that- that I am really no good on my own. I can't do this alone, and I won't ask you to do what you would not. It's your choice…I won't stop you if you want to ride away…but I- I'll miss you a great deal."
Legolas tried valiantly to arrange his face so it conveyed indifference. So it made it look as though both choices were equal, and it was only a matter of choosing one or the other. But in his heart he was begging…Stay with me. Give me another chance. Don't go yet…And because of these thoughts, he could not help adding, "A very great deal, Estel. My friend."
And then there was silence."I'll stay." The words took them both by surprise, and Legolas so stunned at first, his expression seemed to put across 'whatever for?' more than anything else. Aragorn surveyed the expression, and raised an eyebrow. "Would you rather me go, Legolas?"
"No!" Legolas stepped forward, and smiled hesitantly. "But is that your choice?"
"What else would it be?"
"I can tell when you're simply reading my mind, Estel."
"I was not reading your mind," Aragorn said incredulously, and then he made an amused sort of breath. "It takes a wise man to read one's thoughts. Any fool can read one's face."
Legolas couldn't help laughing quietly. So much for indifference. "I'll try as hard as I can this time, Aragorn, you have my word on it."
"I know I do. Just tell me how to help…it is not only my own life on the line for this cure we must find."
- - - - - - - - - -
"Father," Legolas' voice was almost deafening in the complete silence of the king's room. Elladan halted suddenly, and Elrohir started when Legolas, accompanied by the Healer Tirniel, entered the room and spoke so immediately.
Thranduil's eyes were open, and his back braced against the headboard of his bed. He looked somewhat anxious as Legolas entered the room, yet he seemed to be keen to hear whatever it was his son was here to say.
"I have come to speak urgently with you. Long have we been tarrying about the truth, and so I state fact alone. Estel is weakening; truth is all time has left us."
Thranduil nodded, bidding his son to continue, his eyes still fixed uncertainly on the prince's face.
"The facts stand thus: There are eight elves of your realm, dead."
Thranduil flinched noticeably, and his face became pale. The twins were both watching the prince's face fixedly now, their expressions identically grave. Legolas did not pause.
"Five elves are missing; one of them, Rhinthûr, was reported dead, and now, it appears has completely vanished without a trace."
"Reported dead?" Thranduil repeated numbly. At this, Tirniel stepped up beside Legolas, and bowed slightly.
"Majesty, I can testify to that. He, like the rest of the hunters that were sent out to fetch Bengwiil at your bidding, has died from an overdose of that same plant. But now, it seems…he is gone." Tirniel's voice was somewhat strange as he said these words. Almost as though he felt bested, or defeated. Unwilling to announce something as odd as a dead elf's disappearance.
"Do you suspect someone of stealing the body?" Thranduil asked sternly, sitting up straighter in his bed.
Tirniel hesitated, looking down a the floor with pained concentration. He was mulling something over…and hard, as it appeared. "I will not lie to my king," he said slowly, not meeting Thranduil's gaze, and feel Legolas' burn into the back of his head. "…I do suspect such a crime. But by whom and for what purpose, I am not at liberty to disclose. Even to my king!" He added quickly as Thranduil's mouth opened to speak. "I'm sorry, Majesty. All I can tell you is Rhinthûr's body…is in good hands."
The looks on Elladan and Elrohir's faces mirrored what Legolas had felt when Tirniel had said that to him as well. But pushing the peculiarity aside, Legolas pressed on with his facts.
"You may call me calloused, Father, but I have compiled a list of the dead and the missing for you." Legolas withdrew a piece of parchment from his belt, looking a little guilty at first. "'Tis a shame to put down the dead's name in black and white, as though it were just another group of letters among many. And even more shameful it is to put that name in a list with six other such names…"
Sighing, he handed the list over to Elrohir, who gave the paper to Thranduil. The king's eyes danced wearily over the list, and the crease on his forehead deepened as he read.
Those who have passed away are:
Maranos - attacked by orcs on the hunt for Bengwiil, commissioned by the king, and killed by Bengwiil twenty hours later
Raustal - also attacked by orcs while hunting for Bengwiil, died from Bengwiil and injuries
Rhinthûr - also attacked by orcs during hunt, died from injuries three hours after return
Meliim - also attacked by orcs on Bengwiil-hunt, also died of Bengwiil overdose
Haithin - rode to the gates, full of orc arrows, reason unknown
Prestomin - was found in Mirkwood, dead, attacked by orcs, reason unknown
Anwé - went into Mirkwood to avenge Nyarin, killed by orcs directly
Edärsta - followed Anwé, to avenge Meliim, killed by orcs while escaping
Those who have disappeared are:
Rhinthûr - dead body is missing from the Healers
Dyraed - followed Anwé into Mirkwood to avenge brother, Maranos, and is now gone
Gwèdelôs - Dyraed's brother, followed to avenge Maranos as well, is also gone
Talaèr - followed Anwé to avenge friend, Haithin, also gone
Aryto - assistant Healer, was close to death by Bengwiil, disappeared from Healer's
Thranduil's eyes danced up and down the piece of paper at a rapid rate. He couldn't seem to make the words make sense. So many names…so many deaths and disappearances. And almost every one due to Bengwiil.
Tiriniel seemed to not be able to keep his silence anymore. "Your Majesty, the deaths of Maranos and Meliim are the fault of mine. I tried to heal them with Bengwiil, without knowing they all ready had it in them."
"They did?" Thranduil questioned firmly.
"Yes, Majesty, there was poison in all of them all ready. I was so afraid of making a mistake, I made one. I gave them Bengwiil. I thought it would be an easy recovery after that, but…it killed them."
Thranduil shook his head, dismissing that for the moment. "What of Haithin? What of his death?"
"Of that I know not, Father," Legolas said. "He was among those that died of Bengwiil, we thought, on the hunting trip you sent them on. But then, just several days later, he rode to these Halls on his horse, full of orcs' arrows. Dead again. Nyarin tells me that he and Haithin had ridden out together to keep Anwé and his company from death. When I inquired as to Haithin not being dead of the Bengwiil, he simply said 'he wasn't dead' and that was all."
"Hm…" Thranduil murmured thoughtfully, and his eyes danced over the many names and what had caused each death and each disappearance.
The room was silent for a very long time. All of a sudden, there seemed nothing to say. When Legolas had spoken the words: The facts stands thus it was as though everything would become clear finally.
But it hadn't.
At last, Elladan cleared his throat, causing a few people to jump slightly, and voiced what was going through everyone's mind. "What do you propose we do now, Legolas?"
"A good question," Legolas said quietly, gripping the rungs on his father's bed tightly as he spoke. "We have no definite leads. Tiriniel has told us all he knows, as has Fenan. In fact, it was Fenan that gave us most of the information on that paper." Legolas nodded at the parchment in Thranduil's hand. "It was he that recounted the result of their venture into Mirkwood with Anwé…he was very upset to recount Anw's death…especially because Anwé went to avenge his brother, Nyarin, who had been attacked and wounded previously, as you recall."
Thranduil nodded somewhat absently, his eyes flittering over the paper in his hands still. "So…what do we do?"
"We take the only lead we have; Nyarin." Legolas shook his head for emphasis. "There is something buried deep here, Father, and I think Nyarain knows something about it too."
The king folded the piece of paper still in his hand, and tucked it away in his robes, nodding. "I would arise and join you, Legolas, but the sons of Elrond," he gave the twins a blatant glare, and was met with identical half-grins, "will not allow it."
"I understand, Father, and I agree." Legolas couldn't help matching Elladan and Elrohir's smirk, as he turned to the healer over his shoulder. "Tiriniel and I will go back to the-"
Legolas' bow was out and strung the moment the door slammed open. His grip on the weapon slackened, and the arrow suddenly pointed at the floor instead. "Aragorn," Legolas breathed, but his relief soon turned to worry at the look on his friend's face. "What-"
"I can't find him," Aragorn panted. He looked as though he'd been running a great deal. "Legolas, I can't find him anywhere."
"Sh, calm down," Legolas commanded. "Where did you look?"
"Everywhere!"
"Where did you start?"
"Daurrè, he went to talk to Daurrè, remember? But Daurrè says he hasn't seen him! No one has seen him, not even Nyarin, and I was sure he'd at least gone by the Healer's like he said he would."
"It's all right, Aragorn," Legolas assured, "just tell me where all you have looked, these halls are large."
"Who, Estel? Who is missing?" Aragorn's eyes left Legolas' face quickly to fix worriedly on his adoptive brother. "Adda, Elladan. I can't find Adda!"