A/N: yes, the second 2 last installment of this chapter! this is the climax, ppl!
------------Later That Night----------------
Zelda, dressed in a skin-tight golden dress, struck a match and lit a cigarette. She was standing in the dressing room of the Casino Roof, where ladies would go to fix their make-up, hair, or change outfits. But Zelda was there for the soul purpose of seeing a certain someone walk in.
After some time had passed, Zelda walked up to the worker in the room. "Din, are you sure that Mrs. Fowler, er, Peach Fowler hasn't come in here yet?"
"Oh, sure, Miss," Din answered (ironic that a goddess would be serving others, but plz don't comment on that).
"You do recognize her by sight, don't you?"
"Yes, Mrs. Haines," Din sighed, rolling her eyes. "She's famous for the size of her tips--not even a thin dime! But it's getting late ... maybe she's decided not to come."
"Oh yes, maybe," Zelda said. "Thank you." She walked back towards a large mirror, fiddling with her purse. If Peach didn't show up, Zelda didn't know when she'd have another chance...
"Zelda! What're you doing in here? You're missing the party!"
Zel turned towards the door and saw Saria, in a white evening gown, running to her. "Oh, hello dear," she said back. "I've just been--I've got a little bit of a headache, and so I came in here." She wiped her forehead with a handkerchief.
"But you won't get rid of it in this bad air!" Saria laughed.
"No, I guess I won't," Zelda said, putting her handkerchief away resignedly. She and Saria were about to leave the room, when the door opened from the other side.
"Ugh, Link's in such a mood," came Malon's voice.
"Ex-nay," sighed Peach, shutting the door behind them. Then she spotted her two "friends." "Hello, Zelda," she said, smiling falsely.
"Good evening," Zelda said back, grinning.
"Hello, Saria," Peach said.
"Hello," Saria said darkly, looking up at her and talking in a subdued tone.
Then Peach smiled (looking rather malevolent), and walked arm-in-arm with Malon towards a changing room. "Hope you have a good time, dearies!"
"Did I tell you Link's getting me pearls for my birthday?" Malon asked Peach loudly, turning her head to look at Zelda.
"Oh you have me to thank for that, dear," Peach said, just as loud. "I told him you'd love them."
Zelda, laughing inwardly, walked away from the door and towards a mirror. She smiled and took out some rouge.
"Come on, Zelda, let's go," Saria said quietly, taking hold of her friend's elbow.
"I have to fix my make-up," Zelda said with a hint of glee, tugging her arm out of Saria's grasp.
"But they're going to be back soon, and--"
"Leave me alone, Saria!!" Zelda snapped.
"Zelda!" Saria cried, deeply hurt.
Then Peach and Malon came striding back; the first in black satin and sashes, the second in a blindly glittering golden gown.
"Did I tell you I've been seeing Dr. Mario, Saria?" Zelda asked, a bit loudly. Peach instinctively cast her glare at the two of them. Zelda sniggered and continued, saying, "My dear, he keeps me for hours and never sends me a bill."
At this, Peach walked promptly into the wall as Malon exited through the door. Zelda caught sight of Peach's hateful glare as she walked out as well, slamming the door behind her.
"Why Zelda, you've never been to Dr. Mario in your life," Saria said, extremely confused by what was going on.
"Shhh," Zelda said, when she noticed the door opening again.
"You still here, Zelda?" Peach asked in a cracked voice, slowly entering the room. Zelda only grinned, prompting Peach to say, "I've got, uh, stocking trouble.""Oh," Zelda said. "What a bore." She swiftly smiled at her cousin, then headed for the door.
"How've you been feeling, Zelda?" Peach asked desperately.
"Fine, fine."
"I uh, heard you say you've been to the doctor," Peach said, making the point of the conversation quite clear.
"Ohhh," Zelda said smugly, turning towards Peach. "Jealous?"
Peach frowned. "Not of you, if that's what you mean--"
"Oh, Peach, it's all over town how you've been making a fool of yourself over Dr. Mario!" Zelda laughed. She went for the door again, only to have her exit blocked by Peach.
"I'd care for you to explain that little remark, Zelda Haines!" Peach shouted.
"You pay him a hundred dollars an hour just to hold your hand," Zelda said, smiling superiorly.
Peach shoved Zelda into the center of the room. "Zelda Haines, I haven't seen you for TWO YEARS!! Where do you get your information?!"
"Where do you suppose?" Zelda asked.
"Well where? Where?!" Peach asked, as Zelda giggled.
"From Malon!"
"FROM MALON?!" Peach cried incredulously. Zelda laughed again. "Well wha--wh--why--whe--
"Girls, girls, Phyllis Povah!" Saria whispered. The two women looked towards the door, and indeed saw the gossip columnist walking in.
"Hello, girls," she said lightly. "My, don't you look lovely! Got any dirt for the column?"
"Not a thing sweet, not a thing," Peach answered quickly, wanting to get rid of the journalist as quickly as possible.
Phyllis sighed with disappointment. "I might as well shove off. I've never seen such a clean joint! I just need to get my wrap..."
"Why would Malon be spreading ... lies about me?!" Peach asked Zelda as soon as Phyllis walked away.
"I'm going to get Nancy!!" Saria cried, fleeing from the room. "....uh, I mean I'm going to get Marin!"
"Dear, you're her only friend, who else has she got to gossip about?" Zelda said, answering Peach's question with another question.
Peach put her hands on her hips and frowned. "She's got Roy Winston. Why can't she talk about him?"
"Roy Winston?!" Zelda cried. She gasped, and put a hand to her mouth.
Peach's eyes widened. "Zelda Haines, you tricked that out of me! You fiendish cat, I'll get you!"
Zelda ran towards Phyllis as she began to leave. "Phyll, stick around! I've got something for you!"
"Good 'n dirty?" Phyllis asked with excitement.
"Good and dirty!" Zelda assured her. "Go out there and dig up Roy Winston! Ask him which famous society matron he's been seeing, and make sure to get all the details!"
"Oh boy!" Phyllis shouted, clapping her hands on Zelda's shoulders. "DIRT!" She ran from the room, glowing with anticipation.
"You're not going to get away with this one, Zelda!" Peach vowed, running for the door. "I'll shut Roy Winston's drunken trap if it's the last thing I do!!"
"Oh no you won't!" Zelda said. The door suddenly opened, and Marin and Saria entered. "Stop her, girls!"
"Where are you going, my pretty lady?" Marin snickered, taking a hold of Peach's arm while Saria grabbed the other.
"Din, d'you have a place where we can lock her up?" Zelda asked.
"Sure," Din answered, leading them towards a closet.
"Now dear, that won't be necessary!" Peach yelled desperately, as she was flung into the closet.
"Yeah, it will," Din giggled, locking the door. "This is for the tips you never gave me!!"
"Zelda, this isn't like you!" Saria laughed.
"But whatever it is, I'm for it!" Marin added.
A few moments later, Samus came racing into the room. She grabbed Zelda's hand and squeezed it. "Darling, you won't believe it! All heck's broken loose!"
"Of course it has!" Zelda laughed.
"Roy Winston just spilled the most terrific load of dirt!" Samus informed her. "He came right out and said he's been seeing Malon for months! And the joint's full of newspaper cameras!--don't worry, I got all the names and the places down on Marth's shirt." She laughed hysterically. "Link Haines had to knock 'im cold to shut his trap!"
"Oh, I knew darling could do it!" Zelda declared happily, smiling so much it hurt her cheeks.
The next moment, Daisy and Impa came into the room, the first one with her comforting arm around the sobbing later.
"Oh dear," Zelda giggled.
"Oh, the publicity!" Impa sobbed, throwing herself onto a couch. "Of all my husbands, Roy is the first to humiliate me in public!!"
"Poor Impa," Zelda said with a suppressed chuckle. "What'd he do?"
"DO?" Daisy repeated. "He declared an undying love for little Malon!"
"Oh the publicity," Impa sobbed. "La pu-blee-ci-tay!! THE INGRATE!"
And who should enter the room next but the star of our show, Malon. "Hey, you!" she snapped at Din. "Is Mrs. Fowler in here?!"
Din bowed in mockery, and led Malon to a closet.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE!! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE EVERYBODY IN THIS PLACE, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO!!" Peach screamed from inside the closet. Then Din unlocked the door, and Peach fell with a shout to the floor. "It's kidnapping, that's what it is! It's kidnapping!" Then she slowly rose to be eye-to-eye with Malon.
"You've been shooting off your mouth, you rat!" Malon accused.
"I didn't do a thing, not a thing, Zelda Haines got it out of me!" Peach whimpered, pointing lamely at Zelda.
"It wasn't hard to do," Zelda snickered.
Malon glared at Peach. "Why you rotten little...!" She stalked towards the group of women clustered about Impa. "You cats are trying to break up my marriage!"
"Link's sick of you, Malon, in your heart you know it!" Zelda laughed, jabbing Malon's heart with her index finger.
"You can't get me on the drunken ravings of Roy Winston," Malon said back smugly. "You need evidence!"
"You don't need that kind of evidence outside New York," Samus told her.
"Yes, Malon, take my advice," Daisy said. "Put your mind on your alimony."
"Alimony?!" Peach screeched. "With what Link can get on you, he won't have to give you a dime!" Well, she certainly changed sides quickly.
"Is that so?" Malon asked, smirking. She looked around at them all. "Well what if I don't need alimony, how about THAT?"
"You don't need alimony?" Daisy reiterated in astonishment.
"What're you going to use instead of it, sugar?" Samus asked with a wicked grin.
"Roy Winston!" Malon spat.
"OHH!" Impa cried, pulling herself up. "The ingrate!! THE INGRATE!!"
"Your cowboy and I get along great, Countess, just great!" Malon sneered. "And that dough he makes on the radio ain't bad either! He makes a lot more than Link Haines'll ever dig up!" Malon rose her voice slightly as Impa continued to sob loudly. "Roy and I'll be tickled to death to be rid of the lot of ya!" She made her way towards the door, basking in her glory.
"Don't let her get to you, Impa," Zelda soothed, being a complete hypocrite.
"Yes, and make sure your next husband doesn't become financially independant," Peach said.
"But...Roy isn't independent!" Impa managed to choke out. None of them noticed Malon come to a halt at the doorway...
"But--hasn't he a contract with Dandy Gelateen?" Samus asked in confusion.
"Well, no!" Impa bawled. At this, Malon twisted around the spot, her mouth open. Impa inhaled deeply. "I am Dandy Gelateen! No one would put Roy on the radio, the meanies! I had to buy OUT Dandy Gelateen!"
Samus snapped her fingers, and she and Peach glided towards Malon. "Comma tai yai yippie, comma tai yai yay, Malon!" the fomer mocked in a sing-song voice.
"You can buy it now, dear!" Peach snorted. "And give Roy away with every package."
Malon sighed deeply. She looked down, the removed her hand from where it had been resting on the doorframe. "Well, girls, I guess it's back to the perfume counter for me." Before she walked out the door, she had to give one more final insult: "And by the way ... there's a name for you ladies. However, it isn't used in high society--outside of a kennel." Grinning, she let that sink in and shut the door behind her.
"Why, that stinking wolf in sheep's clothing!" Peach gasped.
"That bombshell's got some nerve!" Samus said angrily. "Calling us that!"
Their thoughts were interrupted when Saria came running into the room, stopping when she reached Zelda. "Oh Zel--Link's outside, he wants to see you! You'll go, won't you, Zelda?"
"Of course I will!" the excited gal answered, running for the door.
"Zelda Haines, haven't you any pride?!" Peach asked her cousin, scandalized.
"None whatsoever, Peach!" Zelda laughed. "That's a luxury a woman in love can't afford!"
A/N: doo-doodle doo!!!!! the next chap is the last, so plz review OR ELSE! lol, jk. but plz review neway!!!!!!