The group was just getting ready to leave to try and find the two missing persons when Aragorn and molly came stumbling out of the brush.

"Did you know that even in Middle Earth there is poison ivy?" Molly announced, holding her thigh.

Everybody snickered at this and just continued on walking to nowhere in particular. But it was weird, every few steps there seemed to be a rustle in the dark woods beside them. Just then a twig cracked and a very high pitched voice whispered, "Sssshitssss."

Molly and Casey both reached for the closest weapons, Molly, Aragorn's... sword and Casey, a large stick.

Legolas cracked up laughing. "Look! Their weapons are almost bigger than they are!"

And yes, it was true. But Casey and Molly were occupied, they were staring at a foot that was sticking out of the bush. "Uh, guys... someone's here! There is a foot sticking out of that bush!" Molly very frightily spoke. At that everyone turned around to see. It was true, there was a very small grey foot sticking out of the bush. Elladan got a huge amount of courage and pulled the foot, and out came Gollum.

"Eww!! That's so gross! Get it away! That's so evil, look at it!! I'm gonna get nightmares now!" Casey screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Oh for God's sakes, Casey. It's just Gollum. Look at that faaaceee. He's so cute."

"Ohh Dearsesss..." Gollum timidly spoke as Molly walked toward him and picked him up like a little child.

"Oh can we take him with us? I promise he won't get freaky. I'll get him some pills for that... oh please!?!?" Molly insisted.

A look of sheer disgust crossed Aragorn's face. "OK, no! I can't even believe you're touching that... that... thing!! You might get rabies or something." At that Molly turned on her heel to face Aragorn and lunged at him pretending to bite him.

"OK, could we just ditch the ugly thing and stop all this nonsense? Or is that just freaking impossible?" Legolas roared over the crowd.

"Fine, fine, fine." Molly pouted and put Gollum down. He took a quick glance at Casey as she swung her foot towards him. She got him right in the butt and he went flying through the woods. "Casey!! I SO can't believe you just did that! I am going to make Gimli kiss you or something for that," Molly exclaimed, looking royally p.o.ed.

"There it is again," Gimli yelled. "You're using me as punishment!"

"Guys... can we stop and camp here tonight?" Legolas asked, and dropping a sleeping Meighan on the ground awaking her.

"Wha? Where am I?" the weary Meighan said.

"Just go back to sleep Niko" Casey told her.

"Fine! We camp here for the night," Aragorn said in his most 'manly' voice.

Everyone had the worse sleep that night due to the fact that Gimli was making weird noises in his sleep.

"Could someone just... you know, kill him?" Elladan asked hopefully.

"You know, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea," Molly added wearily.

PPPTFFT

A loud high pitched noise echoed through the woods.

"Oh god! He just passed gas!!!" Casey screamed, disgusted. The only person that didn't mind Gimli was Aragorn, who was fast asleep.

"How can he do that?" Legolas asked in awe.

"Do what?" they all replied.

"Sleep! How can Aragorn sleep through this! I am almost 3000 years old, and I have never suffered so much in my entire life," Legolas complained.

"Where did he come from anyway?" Meighan asked. "What happened to that dwarf girl... thing?"

"Maybe she died," Legolas suggested hopefully.

"Great. But in the mean time we're stuck with Gimli again."

"Oh yeah..."

The troop trudged on to no where.

"Ever wonder that you have no meaning in life?" Molly sadly asked.

"What?" Aragorn inquired.

"Well, we have been just walking around for a long, long time. And we never get anywhere."

Laina and Molly suddenly looked at each other. "Slinky!" they both yelled.

"What?" Elrohir asked.

"We have to go to Gondor!" Molly announced.

"Yay!" Aragorn cheered. Everyone glared at him.

"What made you decide this now?" Elladan demanded. "We've been traveling in the opposite direction for the past five days."

"It's alright!" Aragorn insisted. "Really. It's no big deal."

"I don't want to go to Gondor!" Meghan argued. "Why can't we go somewhere nice, with elves? I don't want to go back the other way."

"Nor do I," Gimli agreed. Meghan backed away from him. "I say we keep going no, perhaps come out near the mines. Who else is with us?"

Although Aragorn was probably the only one really keen on heading for Gondor, nobody wanted to share an opinion with Gimli. They all looked at their feet or the sky, humming absently.

"Oh, well, I guess it's settled then," Elrohir said quickly. "Bye Gimli. See you Meghan!" He grabbed Alaina and raced off, everyone else following right behind.

"Hurry!" Pippin gasped. "Before they decide to follow."

They ran and ran and ran until Alaina nearly fell over. Then Elrohir picked her up and they kept running. Aragorn picked up Molly, but that was mostly just so he could hold her.

They ran for a very long time, stopping only at night when they could safely hide.

"You know what?" Legolas asked as they prepared to leave on morning. "We could really use some horses."

The clearing they were in filled with smoke.

"What did you do?" Molly screamed at the little she could see of Legolas through the smoke.

When it cleared, Alaina and Elrohir were snogging.

"Oh, um, there's no more smoke," Elrohir commented as they broke apart guiltily, avoiding Elladan's dirty glare.

"Oh, look. There's horses!" Alaina yelled.

"Nice try, Alaina," Molly said.

"No, really, there's horses." They looked where she was pointing and sure enough there were six horses.

"But there's eight of us," Merry pointed out.

"We could double up," Aragorn offered.

Molly glared at him. "I'm not going all the way to Gondor stuck behind you with you hitting on me the whole time.

"I swear, I won't hit you with the whip," Aragorn promised.

"Who said anything about whips?" Molly demanded, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Ooooh, kinky," Alaina said.

"We have whips?" Elladan muttered to Elrohir.

"Don't get any idea," Elrohir retorted.

"Alright," Aragorn said. "So Molly and I w ill share-"

"Nuh-uh-uh-uh-uh," Molly interrupted. "I don't think so smookums. I want my own horse. The black one with the white tail-"

"But-"Aragorn started.

"Nope. You can share with Merry."

"What about me?" Pippin asked.

"You can share with Legolas," Alaina offered generously. He glared at her, but she was already getting Elladan to help her onto her horse. Molly had climbed on hers and Elrohir was holding one for himself and one for his brother. Suddenly Legolas grabbed Pippin and pulled him forward.

"Okay, come on, let's go."

As he moved forward, Aragorn discovered why. The last remaining horse was, in fact, a donkey. "I hate you," he announced to no one in particular.

Abruptly Molly stopped. "Hang on, you guys. I have to fix my hair."

"Okay," Alaina agreed. "I have to, uh... disappear into the woods for a few moments. Elladan and Elrohir wannacomewithme?"

However Molly finished with her hair at that moment, piling it on top of her head in a Pebbles Flintstone style. Alaina and the twins looked immensely disappointed. Alaina gloomily got on her horse so the troop could move on. The trip started.

The group galloped into an open meadow. Molly was way out of the crowd, riding along the edge of a dark wood. Elladan came slightly behind Alaina's horse and smacked her in the back, knocking her off her horse. "Elladan you idiot!!" Elrohir screamed and jumped off his horse to help Alaina up. "You shall ride on me, wait... on my horse!! HORSE! Ahem," Elrohir spluttered. Everyone let out a small giggle, everyone except Molly, who had somehow disappeared. Without Aragorn.

All of the sudden, two extremely loud screeches filled the air. The sky grew dark and a black shadow came streaking out of the woods, being trailed by another shadow on a horse. As the figures came closer, the group could see who they were. Molly was inn a long black cloak, and she was being chased by a mounted Ringwraith. "HELP!" she screamed in panic.

"I'll save you! And give you my blood, if you need it," Alaina yelled, and turned her horse around to face the two. When the Ringwraith saw the people, it turned tail and galloped out of sight.

The group looked at Molly as she panted for breath. "Don't... seduce... Ringwraiths!" she panted. "That jerk stole my horse! But did give me that nice cloak."

"Riiiggghhhttt," Merry said, rolling his eyes.

"OK, not that THAT is over, can we continue to Gondor? Please?" Legolas pleaded. And with that he rode his horse off into the distance and slipped off the side. "Nobody say anything."

They rode for several days before finally reaching Gondor. They entered Minas Tirith and went straight to the Citadel. Sitting down by the pool, Molly and Alaina began emptying their pockets of countless... slinkies?

"It's the Fellowship of the Slinkies," Molly explained.

"And then some," Alaina added.

"See, this black one's you darling, and the green is Legolas."

"Frodo is blue and the white one is Gandalf."

They went on pulling out variously coloured slinkies and naming them. "And of course we can't forget Merry and Pippin," Molly said, pulling out two brightly coloured bouncy balls. Said hobbits looked proud.

"What about us?" Elrohir asked.

"You're right here," Alaina answered, pulling out a purple slinky. "Sorry, you have to share; we ran out of extra colours. But you're used to sharing things."

"It's okie!" they said in unison.

"So what is the point?" Legolas inquired.

"Point? Does there HAVE to be a point? Like, no," Alaina retorted.

"You know what?" Laina asked suddenly. "I hate choir." She giggled. "May there be a de-ad per-son back of ev'ry cloud you see."

They stared at her.

"Oh, never mind. Come on Molly! It's time for the slinky races!"

"Yay!" They ran over to an enclosed corner of the citadel and started pushing on random stones. "Oh, bullshit," Molly muttered. "I know it's one of these..." All of a sudden a piece of the wall swung back, revealing a staircase. "Told 'ya so."

Everyone ran over, looking down. "Wow. That's a long staircase," Legolas commented.

"It goes all the way down to the first floor... level," Alaina announced proudly.

Aragorn looked sad and confused. "How did you know that was there? I didn't know, and I live here."

Alaina stared at him. "Because we're in charge of everything. Duh."

"That is an absolutely terrifying thought."

Alaina and Molly glared at Elladan.

"Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait-wait-wait."

Everyone looked up as Faramir came running outside.

"You can't do that!!" he announced. "Hi Lord Aragorn. The King isn't here and..." he paused. "Oh. Lord Aragorn. You're back."

"Faramir, what are you doing here?" Aragorn asked. "You're not the Steward anymore, remember? I have you your own place to live."

"I know. But I got bored. Leggy boy left and I had no one else to make fun of. Éowyn hits me if I make fun of her."

"Oh well, you're pretty. You can hang around with us," Molly decided. Legolas looked less than thrilled. "Okay, ready? One, two, three, GO!"

Molly and Alaina dropped the slinkies down the stairs. "This could take awhile," Alaina said. "There are a lot of levels. Let's go do something."

THREE HOURS LATER

"Come on... yay! I win!" Faramir jumped in circles as his slinky reached the bottom.

"Kay, I'm bored. Let's go," Aragorn decided.

"Man, you're never around," Faramir said. "No wonder your wife's sleeping with half the Guard."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Oooohkay. Let's go."

Following Elladan's suggestion, they started to leave.

"Oh, wait!" Can we bring Faramir?" Faramir asked. Everyone stared at him. "Oops, I mean Éomer. He's my best friend."

Legolas rolled his eyes, but Alaina said, "Sure! He's yummy... looking."

"Hey Éomer!" Faramir called. The door opened, revealing loud music and laughing. Éomer stumbled out, a girl hanging off his arm. He caught sight of Aragorn and shoved her back inside, slamming the door.

"Hi Mr. Aragorn lord king man dude."

"What's going on?" Aragorn asked suspiciously.

"We're going, that's what," said Faramir. 'And Éomer's coming too. Let's go Éomer."

8

"At least now we have horses," Legolas said, being abnormally optimistic.

"Remind me again who's brilliant idea it was to leave before we even got to sleep in a bed," Elladan growled.

"Hey, he's your foster brother in law, not mine," Elrohir answered.

Elladan looked at him. "Don't make me kiss you." He blinked. "Kick you."

"Ah!" Faramir screamed and nearly fell off his horse trying to duck. "The pink flying elephants are after me!"

"Do they have acid in Middle Earth?" Alaina asked Molly, glancing warily at Éomer who was singing drunkenly.

"Uh Alaina?"

"Yeah?"

"Turn around."

Alaina did. "Oh. Look at that. A pink flying elephant." The elephant buzzed away.