BOOTH

Gordon-Gordon had been right, of course, even if I'd refused to acknowledge it at the time. When Caroline had called me home, it wasn't only my son who prevented me from staying in Afghanistan: It was Bones. A part of me was still angry with her, but a much larger part of myself missed our partnership, missed our friendship.

Missed her. I mean really, really missed her.

We'd had a case a couple years back, the skeleton of a murder victim used as a backdrop for a grunge band. Gordon-Gordon had joined us on the case, his last official stint as a psychologist. Somehow, as often seemed to be the case when Gordon-Gordon and Sweets got involved, it had become more about Bones and me – and psychology – than the murder itself.

"…he's a good lad, Sweets, but this book he's writing, he's using it as the vehicle to get what he actually want, which is… a family."

"So he imprinted on us? Like a baby duck?"

"…He wants what we all want. He wants to find his place in this world."

That's what Bones had done to me: She'd imprinted on me. Or I'd imprinted on her? Well, whichever it is, I might have been unwilling to risk my heart again where she was concerned, but I couldn't deny my place in this world was with Bones. As partners. As friends.

Or so I'd told myself at the time.

And Gordon-Gordon had been right about Hannah, too, I'd finally had to admit to myself. I hadn't asked her to come with me and there hadn't been any chance she could have gotten me to stay.

Yeah, sure, during the couple of times we'd talked on the phone after I'd left, we'd exchanged 'I miss you's'. I had missed her. She was a beautiful, amazing woman. I missed her smile and the sound of her laughter. I missed how she refused to let me take myself too seriously. I missed her tenacity and daring and how'd she flaunt the rules to get a story. I missed the ease of her company and the sex. I'd definitely missed the sex. Still, I'd never asked her to come, had never mentioned it at all.

Then, she'd simply… appeared. Never had a woman put being with me first, but Hannah had. I can't even tell you what that did to me, how good it made me feel.

Yet, I'd chosen to start our time in D.C. together with a lie, denying Bones and me had ever been anything more than partners and friends…

"You and Brennan… you two seem solid."

"Well… happens after, you know, working together for what? Five years?"

"You know, I'm a little jealous actually."

"What, you actually think that there's something going on between… me and Bones?"

"No, not that. Unless there's something I should know."

"No, of course not…"

Why?

Why the lie? Why hadn't I just told Hannah there was a time when I wanted to be with Bones but she'd shot me down cold? She wasn't exactly the jealous type and she'd have respected Bones' decision, not seen her as a threat.

Was it because Bones' rejection was still too raw? I'm sure that played a part in it. Had I admitted how I'd offered myself to her and had been turned away, inevitably questions would follow. Why had she done that? Did I even know why? Did I still want to be with her? Did I still have feelings for her? Questions I hadn't had any answers to yet or questions whose answers I wasn't able to face yes.

Then there was this:

"What goes on between us is ours."

What happened between Bones and me that night and every day since was ours. I knew for a fact she hadn't said anything to anyone. There were no looks from Angela, no betting pools by Hodgins, no finger crooked at me by Cam to follow her so we could talk and no shrinky talk from Sweets. Neither of us had breathed a word about what was the real reason for her going to the Makapeepoos and me to Afghanistan.

So to share what had happened with Hannah? It would have been a betrayal.

Then there was that final truth: I wasn't willing to risk losing Bones again. I'd lost too much time with her already. Had I told Hannah, there was a chance – a very small one, admittedly – that she'd want me to limit my time with Bones to strictly work hours. I couldn't have done it. In spite of my vows to minimize our time together out of work, Bones and me had fallen into old habits: Lunch every day at the diner, drinks after solving a case and runs in the park when Hannah was out of town.

I had begun to feel whole again, for the first time in a long, long time…