To Aya: Actually, Kyou is one of my favorite characters. But he's still fun to pick on.

Chapter Sixteen: Duo's hunt for cheese

Well… very few had the appetite to eat after watching Akito get crapped on. So some wrinkly old ladies shooed everyone into rooms for bed. Duo got shoved into a room with Bob, who seemed pretty ordinary despite his curse.

"So… your name's Bob, right?" Duo asked, always being the first to strike up a conversation because he's a sad case that doesn't like silence.

"Bob…" Bob replied while staring at a paper wall as if it was the most interesting thing next to Saturday Night Live.

"Bob what?" Duo persisted.

"BOB!" Bob bellowed.

"Erm… okay." Duo scratched his head. "Are you still in school?"

"Bob…"

"Okay BOB! I understand! Can you say any other frickin' words besides BOB?!" Duo hollered. "You remind me of those lame pokemon that only say their name! Is that what you are BOB?!"

"Bob!" Bob squeaked and tried to run out of the room but ran into the door.

"Oi?" Duo prodded Bob with a stick but he didn't move. "Um… yeah… I think I'll leave the room for a while!" Duo jumped over Bob, opened the door, and ran down the hallway.

The Sohma mansion was really big so Duo being the dumb little rat he is, got lost in the maze of hallways and doors. Why did they have to share rooms anyway if the house was so big? But anyway, he smelled food cooking somewhere in the Sohma maze and suddenly wanted to eat some cheese because he's the dumb little rat. He followed the scent to a dead end. Well it wasn't exactly a dead end otherwise the smell wouldn't have led him there. There were three doors. But which one would Duo pick?! This decision was too hard for Duo's little brain to handle so he screamed and then picked a door. Duo opened the first door and saw Akito standing with his back to Duo.

"Stupid family! How dare I humiliate myself like that!" Akito's voice changed. "We'll get them, won't we precious? We'll kill them all!" Akito turned around, stroking a teddy bear that he was talking to and froze when he saw Duo standing there. "How long have you been there?!"

"Um…" Duo was stunned by the teddy bear in Akito's hands.

"Forget I asked!" Akito snapped. "I command you to forget everything you just saw!" Akito pointed to Duo, angrily.

"Gladly." Duo slammed the door and opened the next one.

"Duo-kun!" Relena squealed gleefully and started prancing over to Duo.

"Ack! How can you remember my name when you can't remember your own?!" Duo slammed the door again and opened the next one hoping that it was where the cheese was.

Heero Yuy looked up at Duo, his 9mm in one hand and some cheese in the other.

"MEEP!" Duo squeaked, paralyzed with fear.

"Hn?" Heero saw Duo glancing from the cheese to the 9mm in his other hand and guessed what had brought Duo here. "Cheese?"

"Y-yes…" Duo's voice was about an octave higher because… well? Wouldn't you be scared of Heero with his 9mm?

"Here." Heero tossed Duo the cheese.

Duo caught it happily, almost forgetting Heero was holding a gun, and his eyes got all starry. "Domo arigato gozaimasu!" Duo ran out of the room cheerfully and decided he would find a nice little secret place to eat his cheese so no one would take it from him.

Somebody turned the corner and ran into Duo, making him drop his cheese, and then stepped on it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY CHEESE!!!" Duo cried.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!! GOMEN NASAI!!! I'M SO SORRY THAT I RAN INTO YOU AND MADE YOU DROP YOUR PRECIOUS CHEESE! I SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO LIVE!!! I'M SO SORRY! I APOLOGIZE TO THE WORLD FOR MY EVER BEING BORN!!!" Gee, I wonder who that was?

Duo was still crying because of his cheese but recognized the person he had run into. "Hey… your Ritsu aren't you?"

"GOMEN NASAI!!! I'M SO SORRY THAT I AM SO WORTHLESS THAT YOU KNOW MY NAME-!"

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" Duo pondered.

"FORGIVE ME!!! I SHOULD BE STRUCK DOWN FOR EVER COMING INTO THIS WORLD AND BEING SUCH A PROBLEM!!!"

Duo was starting to get a migraine from the endless yelling and screaming coming from Ritsu. But who should come to the rescue? Shigure! Now he can do his special poke in the ribs to make Ritsu shut up!

"Looks like Rii has gone into another fit of apologies." Shigure sighed and poked Ritsu under the ribs with his fan. Ritsu collapsed onto the floor quietly and Shigure continued on his way to Akito's room. Why was he going there? Who knows, but we can only imagine…

Duo walked back down the hallway in search of some more cheese. There was a door ajar ahead of Duo and inside was a table with one piece of cheese on it. Yuki came walking down the hallway from the other end. Both rats looked at each other and looked back at the cheese. Two stupid rats think alike after all. Duo ran to the cheese and so did Yuki at the exact same moment. Duo grabbed one side and Yuki grabbed the other, both yanking on it.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Kyou asked while entering the kitchen to get some milk to drink.

"Shut up you, baka neko." Yuki muttered while still glaring at Duo.

"None of your business, Kyou!" Duo hissed, not taking his eyes off Yuki.

"Damn it! Learn some manners! I'll take you both down!" Kyou yelled.

Duo pulled out a bag of green, ground up plants while still pulling on his end of the cheese. "Take that! It's cat nip so just leave us alone!"

"All right! Cat nip!" Kyou sniffed the bag. "HEY! This is WEED!"

"I've been looking for that… but it's close enough to cat nip!" Duo stated while still distracted by Yuki.

"Whatcha doin'?" Momiji hopped into the room. Seeing Yuki and Duo fighting over the cheese, Momiji smiled a big smile. "We're playing tug-o-war? Yay!" Momiji grabbed a part of the cheese and Yuki and Duo were so surprised they both released the cheese and Momiji ran away with his prize.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY CHEESE!!!!" Yuki and Duo both exclaimed.

Hatori entered the kitchen with a not-so-amused look on his face. "All of you should be in bed."

"But I was hungry!" Duo complained after his stomach gave a low growl.

"That's what the banquet was for." Said Hatori.

Duo sighed. Tired, hungry, and cheeseless, Duo went back to his room. Bob was still lying on the floor and Duo poked him with a stick again. Bob twitched slightly. Duo shrugged and went to bed, unaware of the eyes staring at him through the darkness…

TO BE CONTINUED

For those of you wondering, Bob wasn't supposed to be like this at first he was supposed to be cooler with a cool name. But I think it's fun to torture him this way. I had fun making this stupid chapter because it's much weirder than my ones before it I think!