BOOTH
At a little after twelve-thirty, I stride through the doors of the lab, heading directly for Bones' office. Hannah and I are meeting for lunch in under a half hour, but I need to see Bones before that happens.
Last night, after we'd talked, I thought everything was fine between us. Then, when we'd made love, she'd brushed my hands away from her body several times. The last two times, I'd looked at her face, but there was nothing there to tell me if she was even aware she was doing so. In the end, the last time my hand had skimmed over her breast, she'd pressed me to my back, then, with my hands pinned to the bed with hers, rode me hard and hot until I couldn't fight it anymore, and emptied my body deep within hers.
After, as we lay facing each other, talking quietly in the dark room, I was sure I must have imagined something was off. It was blissfully normal, us talking and laughing. Then, when her foot found mine as we slept, the last of my worries slipped away.
Only to return this morning. Bones had been… distracted… all morning. Several times I'd had to repeat something I'd said or asked. She'd toyed with her oatmeal and fruit, but hadn't taken a bite, at least as far as I'd seen. She hadn't even given me that disapproving teacher look of hers when I'd asked her, again, if she was sure she wasn't sick.
As I near her office, I'm surprised to find her walking out with her bag slung over a shoulder.
"Booth! What are you doing here?" she asks, clearly surprised to see me. "You should be on the way to meet Hannah."
"I am. I just wanted to stop by and see you," I reply, reversing direction and falling into stride with her. She turns her head to look at me.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, no. Not at all. I was just thinking of you," I shove my hands in my pockets and shrug my shoulders, "And decided to stop by." My curiosity gets the better of me. "Going to lunch?"
"No. Just running an errand. I'll stop by the diner to pick up lunch, afterwards."
"So, I was thinking, how about we go out to dinner tonight?"
"Founding Fathers?" she questions. Opening the door to the lab, I hold it for her and we step into the parking lot. As one of the top dogs at the Jeffersonian, she gets front row, reserved parking.
"Actually, I had someplace else in mind." She slants her eyes towards me.
"Where is that?" I smile at her.
"I think I'll keep that to myself for now." The narrowing of those big, blue eyes says she's not happy with my answer.
"I don't care much for surprises," she reminds me. I laugh.
"Oh, I know." When we reach the car, I automatically open the door for her. "I'm just looking to create a little romance. You'll enjoy it. Trust me, Bones." I mean about more than dinner plans.
"I trust you." Her answer is quick and sure, making me wonder for the second time in as many days, if I was just imagining the energy between us was off.
"I'll pick you up. Does seven work for you?" Picking her up at work comes with the added bonus of driving in together in the morning.
"I can be ready then." I smile at her and take a couple steps back when she starts the car. I wave as I watch her drive away then walk towards my truck.
I dread the next part of my day…
With two ice cold bottles of Coke in hand, I approach the hotdog cart. I spot Hannah in an instant, even though her back is turned to me. I've felt the silk of her hair between my fingers. I've memorized every inch of her figure with both my lips and hands. I could find her in a roomful of another hundred blondes.
It's as though she's felt me watching. She turns around and her eyes rake over me from head-to-foot without apology. A brilliant smile lights her face when she stands in front of me.
"Seeley," she says my name as she wraps her arms around me and hugs me. Awkwardly, I return the hug until she steps back and looks me over again. "Well, you're none the worse for wear, soldier."
"Thanks," I reply automatically. I can't bring myself to compliment her in return. Instead, I indicate the hotdog cart with a tilt of my head. "Why don't we grab our food and find somewhere a little more private to talk."
"These hotdogs are one of the things I'll miss the most about D.C.," she shares as we walk.
"You stayed in D.C.?" I ask, as curious about this as Bones.
"Well, as much as I stay anywhere," she answers with a smile. "In the past four months I've been to Libya, covering the civil war protests; Bahrain, following up on the raid in Manam; Mazar-i-sharif after the United Nations compound was attacked; and, to the Charsadda District in Pakistan after the bombing. But, yeah, I'm still assigned to the press corps in D.C., at least for now." She turns her attention to the cart vendor. "Two hot dogs, fully loaded and don't skimp. Seeley, what do you want?" Funny how I'd forgotten Hannah could eat me under the table. It's a wonder how she stays so slim since she doesn't believe in exercise… well, outside of bed.
"One, with everything," I order. "For now?" I refuse to allow her to pay. Lunch is the least that I owe her.
"Uh, yeah," she looks back over her shoulder at me. She passes me my hotdog and gathers up hers. We walk towards a free bench next to the reflection pond. "I've been offered a choice of assignments. I can remain here with the press corps and continue covering stories overseas on occasion, as I've been doing, or I can accept the assignment to the Middle East desk. I've just got to let them know." We take a seat on opposite sides of the bench and turn slightly so we're facing each other.
"I'd think the decision would be easy. You were always saying how much you hate the D.C. press corps."
"I still do, but there are other things to consider." Smiling, she holds her hotdog up. "Like these hotdogs. I don't think there's a better hotdog anywhere in the world." I smile in return, relaxing a little. Small talk. I'm good with small talk while we eat.
"You've never had a hotdog from a street vendor in Philly."
"Has Angela had the baby yet?" I shake my head.
"Nope. She tells Bones every day 'Today's the day,' but that hasn't panned out yet. She might start horseback riding and jumping on trampolines to unwedge the kid if it doesn't come soon." Hannah laughs around a bite of hotdog.
"I can actually see her doing that! How's Hodgins holding up?"
"I'm surprised he's not snapping rubber bands against his wrists, again."
"How about one of those Cokes, soldier?" she requests. "Snapping rubber bands?" I pick up the bottles from where I'd sat them on the ground near my feet. Opening both, I hand her one.
"Yeah. When Bones and me first started working together Hodgins was in some kind of anger management program. Any time he got angry, he'd snap the band. He was pretty much snapping that band all day."
"Hodgins?" She says his name in disbelief. "Wow. I guess those rubber bands really worked. I've never seen him angry."
"So, where are you heading tonight?"
"Syria. There are rumblings the civil protests are going to evolve into an armed rebellion."
"So, you've got to throw yourself into the thick of things." She laughs.
"You know me: Anything to get the story." She finishes the last bite of her second hot dog and washes it down with her Coke.
"You miss the adrenalin rush, huh?" Her eyes lock with mine.
"I miss you, Seeley." My bottle of Coke stills as it nears my lips and I slowly lower it. The time for truth and penance is here. "I was hoping enough time had passed for you to be open to the idea of giving us another chance."
"Getting back together is not why I agreed to lunch," I begin. "Hannah, I'm here because I owe you the truth and an apology… more than one."
"Alright," she says the word slowly, as her eyes search my face for a clue. "I'm curious. What truth and apologies?"
"You, me, Bones, the proposal… all of it." I take a drink of my Coke, then after setting the bottle down near my feet, I plunge in. "When we met in Afghanistan, you never asked me why I was there. I think you just assumed it was because of the military."
"Well, your uniform, your gear and your weaponry all leant to that assumption," she replies, lightly. I flash a quick smile then forge ahead.
"Yeah, it did. What I meant, though, is you never asked why I returned to the Army after so long."
"Alright, I'll bite: Why did you return to the Army, soldier?"
"Because of Bones." Her smile is replaced by surprise.
"Okay. I admit I didn't see that one coming. Had Temperance done something?" I nod slowly.
"Yeah. She'd turned me down."
"I'm guessing for more than just a date or a roll in the hay. I mean, rejoining the military and going straight to a hot zone… it had to be something pretty big." I nod my head slowly.
"Yeah. It was. She turned my world upside down. When I got to Afghanistan, I was angry… just really, really angry. Then I met you. You helped me get through a very hard time in my life." She smiles.
"Glad to be of service, soldier," she teases. My smile comes easily, then fades as I continue.
"I loved you, Hannah, I really did. You—"
"Uh-oh, past tense… That can't be good." I know she's trying to keep the mood light. It's what she does. But sometimes it makes serious discussions difficult, like now.
"After you came to D.C. you asked me, a couple of times, if my feelings for Bones went beyond being partners. I should have been honest with you, but things between Bones and me were… complicated. For a while, I convinced myself that what I felt for Bones didn't matter. I was with you and we were doing good. Really good. Then, the night she told me she'd made a mistake, she turned my world upside down, all over again."
"The bar fight?" she asks, intuitive as always. I nod again.
"Yeah. The bar fight." I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. "The truth is, I've known since the day Bones and me met that she was the one I was meant to spend my life with. I'm not saying it's been easy," I laugh lightly at how true that statement is, "There's nothing easy about Bones, but that doesn't change the facts. She's my partner, my best friend and I can't even imagine my life without her in it. She… She's a… a… piece of me."
"I knew you and Temperance were close but I had no idea… I mean, I had my suspicions that there might have been a drunken, sex-filled night in the past… So what was the deal with the proposal if you felt this way?"
"Cowardice. I knew you'd never say yes, you'd told me often enough you never wanted to marry or be tied down. I'd convinced myself that if you said no, then you'd be the one ending things between us." I look at her with a pained look on my face. "I didn't count on how being rejected would make me feel or, even more so, how guilty I'd feel for doing that to you."
"Imagine how you'd have felt if I said yes," she jokes.
"Hannah, I'm sorry. You deserved more."
"You're right, I did." She leans closer and takes my hand. "Seeley, you and I agreed from the very start we just wanted to have a good time and that one or both of us could walk away without penalty whenever we wished." I flop back against the bench.
"I know, I know. Everything just got so… complicated. We fell in love. You moved to D.C. We were living together. Then there was Bones…"
"So, you and Temperance?" she wonders. Just thinking of Bones make me smile.
"If you're asking if we're a couple, yeah, we are. It's only been a few weeks, but it's been going good. Really good. We're happy. It's taken a long time for us get here."
"Well, it looks like I'll be taking that Middle East assignment." She grins at me. "God, I hate the D.C. press pool." I laugh.
"You can't be bored when dodging bullets."
"Right?" She laughs as she stands. "I'm almost afraid to ask what that says about me." I get to my feet as well, picking up our bottles to throw them away on the way back to my truck. "Where are you parked?" she asks as we step on the sidewalk. I drop the bottles in the bin and indicate with a thumb back over my shoulder.
"That way. You?" She laughs, turning slightly and pointing in the opposite direction.
"That way." We fall silent for a couple of seconds. She's the first to speak. "Well, I guess this is goodbye. A hug for old time's sake?"
"Yeah. Sure. Of course." She slips into my embrace as naturally as she once did. "I like this ending much more than the last," she tells me as she leaves the embrace and steps back to look at me. "Tell Temperance I say 'hi,' and that the next time I'm in D.C. she and I will have to have a ladies night out."
"I will. Don't stir up too much trouble," I advise, knowing she'll do exactly that.
"Me?!" she pretends innocence. "Never! Maybe we'll run into each other some time in the future." She smiles then takes a few steps backwards in the direction she'd pointed to. "Bye, soldier." She gives me a small wave.
"Bye, Hannah."
I watch her walk away, then head for my truck.
I'd had to coax Bones out of her office, despite our agreement she'd be ready to leave at seven. By the time we arrive at Wong Fu's, it's closer to nine than eight. I pretend not to notice Bones eyeing me as we step into the dining room.
"You said Sid sold Wong Fu's and it was being turned into a laundromat," she says, not-so-under-her-breath. I don't know why I bothered hoping she'd leave it alone… she never does. Time to pay the ferryman.
"Yeah, well-"
"Because I told Booth if any more of his little friends—"
"Squints," I automatically correct.
"…said so much as a single word about decomposition, bugs, vermin, or regurgitation, or brought pictures of dead people in here again, I would ban him for life." Sid looks me in the eyes. "Will that be a problem tonight, Booth?"
"Not a dead body to be seen or talked about," I assure.
"In that case, have a seat wherever you'd like. I'll get your food." With a hand on the small of Bones' back, I guide her to a quiet booth at the back of the restaurant.
"You lied to me. No, us," she accuses, as she slides across the seat.
"A white lie." She gives me her disapproving teacher look as I follow. "Look, Bones, a guy has to have a place where he can have a good meal and do some thinking… alone. I don't go into your bones room and try to play hockey, do I?" She purses her lips, not agreeing, but moves on.
"Angela said she's going to make Hodgins have lots of intercourse tonight so she goes into labor." Seeing Sid approaching our table, I drop my head back and while looking at the ceiling to ask the saints for help. I look at her again and lean towards her.
"Bones you can't be talking about sex in here," I whisper. "Sid is Catholic, like me, and—" Sid sets a plate in front of me.
"And for you, Dr. Brennan," he announced, sitting her bowl down. "Trust me. It will do wonders for what ails you." My eyes snap to Bones' face. She makes it a point to ignore me and look at Sid.
"Is discussing sex on your list of inappropriate topics that could get Booth banned?"
"Bones," I hiss.
"I believe open discourse on the subject is healthy, as long as we keep in mind the age of the audience around us and use discretion when it comes to the more intimate details."
"Sid doesn't mind. Not everyone is as skittish discussing sex as you are, Booth."
"Bones…" I groan.
"I'll get your drinks." I would feel a lot less uncomfortable if Sid wasn't laughing to himself when he walked away.
"Do you think we could keep discussions about sex to when we're alone?" I suggest.
"Technically we are alone," she doesn't hesitate to point out. "There's no one seated near us. See?" She sweeps her arm in front of her, nearly clonking me in the nose in the process. I choose to ignore the comment. I have something else on my mind.
"Do you still not feel good?"
"I'm fine," she insists. The look she gives me as she lifts a spoonful of soup to her mouth is a warning not to press my luck.
"What is that?" It looks like lettuce, seeds and mushroom floating around in broth, not at all appetizing, in my book.
"Ginger noodle soup with bok choy." It sounds even worse than it looks. I look up when Sid appears at our table again.
"Ice cold," he informs me, setting a bottle of beer in front of me. "And for you," he turns his attention to Bones, "Lemon tea."
"You don't want a beer, Bones?"
"Aren't you the one who said…"
"Sid knows what people want better than they do."
"Are you questioning me, Booth?" Sid challenges, I suspect more to have fun with me than anything else. Still, I'm not going to risk being banned.
"No. Of course not."
"It's just what I wanted," she tells Sid. My eyes narrow. Bones can be quite the smart ass when she wants and I'm pretty sure that's what's going on here, but not enough to risk calling her on it. "Thank you." Sid lays a dark scowl on me.
"Booth…" He let's the single word hang in the air, turning around and walking away, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Yeah. Somehow I've become the ball of yarn for the cat… two cats… to bat around.
"So, does lemon tea help what ails you, too?" I ask, just to be peevish. If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man.
"How is Hannah?" The subject that had been so stressful last night, makes me relax.
"Good, really good. She's leaving for Syria tonight," I share, taking a bite of my food.
"I imagine as a foreign correspondent it would be quite the coup to be there when the unrest moves from protests to armed rebellion." She never ceases to amaze me.
"You know about that?" She shrugs a shoulder.
"Of course. I keep abreast of all current events. Has Hannah been here in D.C. since…" She crinkles her nose, unwilling to bring up bad memories and concentrates on her soup.
"We broke up," I finish "She said she has, even though she's spent a lot of time overseas on assignments."
"Was it difficult, seeing her again?" I consider the question as I take another bite of my meal.
"No, it wasn't. It was like having lunch with an old friend. Even when I was admitting what I'd done, she did what Hannah always does: Kept it light and easy. I'm not sure what that says about the relationship we had, that we could be so relaxed with each other and not get caught up in the bad stuff. I mean I didn't even feel a pang of regret when she asked if we—" I swallow the rest of the sentence and grab my beer, stalling long enough to find my way around what I'd begun to say.
"Asked if you could see each other again," Bones supplies, as though announcing it's warm and breezy outside. "She told me she would." I slowly lower my beer, while I stare at her.
"You talked to Hannah?" Her head snaps up at me, surprised by the question.
"What? No!" she retorts. "I meant, last winter when you told Hannah how I felt about you she told me she would have done the same."
"I told her no." She shrugs a shoulder.
"I know. Did you make your amends?" I shift my eyes from side-to-side, her reaction not what I expected. Then, again, it should have been exactly what I expected: As far as Bones is concerned, any issues were addressed last night and there's no need to drag something settled into the present.
"Yeah, I did." And I feel better than I have about myself in a long time, I realize. "I told Hannah about us." I've surprised her again.
"What did you tell her?" I lean in until our noses nearly touch, while holding her eyes with mine.
"That we're together and very happy." I close in, planning on kissing her, stopping short of my goal when a palm flattened against my chest pushes me back.
"Booth! We promised the FBI no public displays of affection."
"While on the job or in the building," I correct, with a lift of my brows. Her eyes warm and this time we share a soft kiss. When we part, I note Sid watching us out of the corner of his eye as he dries a glass. I lean in and steal another quick kiss, then slide out of the booth.
"I'm going to grab another beer. Do you want another tea?"
"No, I'm fine."
I cross the restaurant to where Sid is working.
"Another beer, Booth?"
"Yeah. And…" I slip the plastic case holding a CD in it out of my pocket, then push it with a single finger across the bar towards Sid. He looks at it with curiosity. "…a little favor." He glances at it while reaching for the beer.
"So you and the bones lady… You a thing now?"
"Yeah, we are, but keep it under your hat." He nods at the case.
"So, what's this?" I glance at Bones.
"A do over."
"I don't know, Booth, my customers—"
"What customers?" I ask turning to look at the room. The three tables that had people at them when Bones and I got here are now empty. One, lone person sat at the end of the bar. "That guy?" Sid grins at me. Like I said, ball of yarn and cats.
"Just giving you a hard time." He picks up the case. "Give me a second." He disappears into the kitchen.
Grabbing my bottle of beer, I return to our table. I've barely set it down, when the first notes come through the loudspeaker. I hold out a hand to Bones.
"Shall we?" Bones looks from my hand to my face.
"What's going on?"
"I promised you a date, remember?" Slowly, she takes my hand and slips from the booth. "Dinner, a little dancing, afterwards, a walk by the reflection pond…" I lead her to the center of the room.
"It's Seal," she states the obvious as A Kiss From a Rose filters into the room.
"It's the dance we should have had the night of your reunion," I clarify.
Much like that night, she tears up, then wraps her arms around me and presses close, resting her head on my shoulder. But unlike that night, I don't push her away to arm's length and make 'room for the Holy Spirit.' This time I keep her near… very near, resting my cheek on the top of her head and closing my eyes. I'd meant this dance to be a makeup for her, but now that we're here, I realize it's for me, too, as I put another bad memory to rest.
"They were idiots, all of them," I say softly. She lifts her head to look at me.
"Who?"
"The boys at your school who didn't try to lure you under the bleachers to make out, who didn't ask you to prom…" I lift my brows at her a pair of times and smile "…who didn't try to get you into the backseat of their car."
"If they had, who knows where I might be now? I might never have worked at the Jeffersonian or found Russ and my Dad…" She tilts her head and smiles up at me, "…or I might never have met you. If the cost of the life I have now was the loneliness and isolation of my teen years, I'd do it all over again. I love my life. I love you." I tug her back into an embrace as our bodies sway and feet move to the music. I can't tell you what her words have done to me, but my heart aches in a very, very good way.
"I love you, Bones," I vow, with my cheek resting against her head.
And God knows I do.
Twenty-Four Hours Later…
Last night had been perfect from beginning-to-end: Dinner, our dance and the stroll around the reflection pool followed by slow, lingering love-making that had left us as sated as we were exhausted. Like the night before last, Bones had brushed away my hands more than once, but it had helped a great deal that when I looked into her passion-glazed eyes, I found no sign she was aware she was doing it. It was as I watched her drift to sleep that the reason had come to me and I'd felt a little foolish that I hadn't realized it before. We've been together for nearly a month and, if memory serves, Tessa had often been a little more tired and moody than normal and her breasts a little more sensitive right before her, um, you know, uh, period.
Which also explained how annoyed Bones had been by me constantly asking if she was sick. She probably thought I was a numskull, not to have figured it out on my own.
This morning I was awake before the alarm rang, Bones still sleeping away. I'd made my decision, then-and-there, after a quick shower I would whip us up a batch of blueberry pancakes, a couple of bowls of fresh fruit, a little orange juice and some hot coffee. A breakfast worthy of my mood.
I hadn't even minded when Bones had picked at her food and turned down my coffee in favor of tea.
We'd caught a case late in the morning: A child's birthday party at a bowling alley had ended with a dozen traumatized children after the pins that had dropped were more body parts than they were pins. It turned out that the victim, Jeff Fowler, was a member of Max's bowling team, The Thunderballs. This had given Bones and me a foot in the door, so we'd invited Max to a late lunch. That, of course, had put us in a predicament where our personal relationship was concerned: To tell or not to tell? Bones had quickly settled that question.
"When the time is right, our families will be the first to know, but now is not that time. We have a case to work."
With Max injured in a, uh, bedroom accident, The Thunderballs needed another player and I stepped right into that role, with me and Bones going in undercover as Buck and Wanda. Bones, of course, loves undercover, but she'd gotten anxious to wrap the case up as quickly as possible since Angela had – finally – gone into labor. With the murderer under arrest, we'd driven directly to the hospital still in our Buck and Wanda clothes, even though we'd tossed aside the wigs.
In the waiting room, she'd sat in the row of seats catty corner to where I was sitting. I'd found that a little odd, since the squints are used to Bones and me being pretty much attached at the hip, so sitting next to each other wouldn't have drawn attention. Was she afraid she'd slip if we were that close to each other, doing or saying something that might tip people off that we're a couple? I guess that's possible but, I won't lie, it was hard, sitting across the room getting more and more anxious the longer Angela's labor took.
After Michael Vincent Staccato Hodgins finally arrived in the world…
Get a load of that name!
…she'd barely taken ten seconds to see the little guy, before she'd disappeared through the doors to labor and delivery.
I had thought seeing Angela was okay would calm her nerves, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. When we'd left the hospital to start the trek back to the Tahoe where we'd parked blocks away, she'd moved from nervous to coming out of her skin.
For what must be the fiftieth time tonight, I glance at her, trying to figure out how I can help her and come up, again, empty handed.
"They looked so happy," Bones announces.
"Yeah, well, they had a baby," I return.
"Their whole lives have changed. You'd think they'd be a little more apprehensive."
"Well, you know, having a baby, that's a good thing."
"You… you really think that?" Of all the things I might have guessed that have her on edge, worrying that having a baby might not be a good thing? Well, that would have never come to mind. I mean, ever.
"Yeah, it's a great thing," I assure. I'd hoped to sooth her, instead, she looks at me with uncertainty… and… and… apprehension? Now, I'm as confused as she is. Stopping in my tracks, I turn to face her and she does the same. "Why? What?" I give calming her nerves another shot. "Oh, come on, Bones, look, the baby… the baby's fine. It's healthy. They had a healthy baby. All right? They love each other. This is the happiest day of their lives. Okay?" She seems relieved, and I begin to turn to start our walk again, but she remains frozen in place. I turn to face her again. The way she shifts on her feet, the way her eyes find mine and stay there tell me whatever has her upset is big… Big enough that she's afraid to tell me. And that makes me nervous – really nervous – and scared enough that my stomach instantly twists into knots. I suddenly like I feel I have too much this last year – that I'm about to lose what matters most to me. "What?" I force myself to ask, then wait for the death knell.
"I'm…" she laughs nervously "I'm pregnant."
I'm… I'm… dumbstruck. I mean I can't move as everything that's happened the last several days plays through my head. Her upset stomach. Her being more tired than normal. Her insisting she was perfectly healthy. Her hands brushing mine away from her breasts as we made love. When was the last time I saw her drink a cup of coffee? All the pieces fall into place.
And that knot turns into a boulder. If my life until now has taught me anything, it's that I'm not entitled to the kind of happiness that being with the woman you love and watching as your child grows within her brings. I've been down this road before: I'm pregnant, you don't have a voice, your involvement will be minimal at best… oh, and by the way, you and me are done, too. I don't have to dig deep into my memory to remember how I'd been left feeling completely gutted. I'm reminded every time my visits with Parker end and he returns to a home that's not mine. I'm reminded every time Rebecca tells me I have no rights, that she can rip my son away from me any time she wants. I'm reminded when-
"You're the father."
With those three words, she chases that mind-numbing, gut-wracking fear away. This is Bones, not Rebecca. Bones who feel the need to tell me I'm the father, as if it could be anyone else. Bones who shifted nervously from foot-to-foot before she told me and stares at me wide-eyed right now, waiting for my response. Bones, who knows how much being a father means to me but doesn't realize she's just given me what I crave most: The family, I know in my soul, we'll create.
And I smile…