A/N: I have a few hours on my hands, so I figured I had better update this fic. This is the next to last chapter, as I have major writer's block.

Chapter 7: Ring Toss

Elladan and Elrohir simply walked into Shelob's Lair. Shelob came and hissed at them. They did the only think they could think of. They laughed.

Shelob stopped hissing and stared at them, confused. Never in her very long life had anyone laughed when she hissed at them. Now they were rolling on the ground. Shelob got mad and crawled over to them, towering above them. Finally they stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry, but why are standing there glaring at us with those lovely eyes?" Elladan decided to sweet talk the spider. Shelob looked confused again. No one had ever said how lovely her eyes were. They made disgusting comments about them, but never called them lovely. She tilted her head to one side.

"We're really sorry that we intruded, Miss Shelob," Elrohir caught on and continued. "We just need to destroy the One Ring so Sauron will not rule the world. It would be a shame if he forgot about your pretty face and decided to kill you."

Shelob thought about that. The elf had called her Miss, and thought she had a pretty face, and the other one liked her eyes. She made a decision.

Elrohir and Elladan looked up in surprise as Shelob spun web around their lower halves. She picked them up and walked through her lair to the other side, where she set them down and left. She soon came back with bags of web. Then she left again, sealing her lair against other intruders.

"What do you think that was about?" Elladan asked as he peeled the web off of him.

"I think she was wishing us good luck. And helping us," Elrohir replied, as he found the bags contained fresh water and dead bats, obviously to eat.

The twins continued on to Mt. Doom. They ran out of water soon, and after they ran out of food, forced themselves to eat the bats. Elrohir strongly suspected that there was orc meat in there, too, but he didn't mention his suspicions. Finally, after many near misses with orcs, they came upon the mountain.

Elladan was carrying the ring that day, or night, no one could tell. They traded when they felt tired. Elladan held it up to throw it in, and paused. He could rule the world. He could be greater than Sauron.

The poor thing would have taken over the world then and there, if not for his twin. Elrohir thought he saw micate. And being the big rock collecter he was, he reached down to get it. He overbalanced, and instead of grabbing his brother for support, he grabbed the ring.

When the ring left the elder twin's hand, his near-sanity returned. He saw his brother falling and caught him. Elrohir let go of the ring so that he could use both hands to get up.

"Damn. I wanted to do a ring toss," Elrohir said when he got up. When the volcano began to erupt, they ran for their lives. They banged on Shelob's door, declaring how beautiful she was and could they please come in.

The twins were never heard from again after they entered there, though everyone was relieved they never showed up again. They could only imagine what HORRIBLE things Shelob did to them.

"Well, they were always trying to get some. I wonder if they liked it when they finally did," Legolas often joked.

And Arda was at peace for the rest of eternity.

THE END.

A/N: I know, I know, not the ending you expected, and a little sick. Let's just say I have a twisted mind. Of course, no one knows what Shelob did to them, so I'm just going to say she had an obsession with door ornaments. Especially talking ones.

Replies:

Dalamar- Maybe you had better.

Ysuran- Probably not. But you never know.

Hyperactive Forever- Good for you!

Aki- Thanks.

LadyFeanorGreenleaf- Thanks.