Author's Note: God, it's been a ridiculously long time since I last updated this thing, hasn't it? Sorry, I'll try more often, but I just got lazy. Oh, and FYI, I'm going to be out of town from June 9th to June 27th, so don't expect any updates between those dates. This chapter is a bit more vulgar than the others, so turn the other way, kiddies!

Death Boo: Yeah, I probably would do a spoof on AU/Highschool fics, but I'm focusing more on Mary Sues right now than bad story lines. (But maybe I'll start a bad storyline spoof when I run out of ideas for this.) And I've heard that Ayame doesn't appear in the manga from one of my manga obsessed friends, but maybe she just hasn't gotten to that volume?

CometsChaos: Glad you like it.

RedHop: I would, but I don't remember what it was called. I think I blocked the worst of it from my memory. That's how horrible it was.

Cloud-Bahamut: I decided to use your Kouga/Marisu idea 'cause it was the first I got. ; What do you think of Dominatrix!Marisu?

Just Me17: Well, duh. Why else would he save her? –shakes head-

EEevee: Hey, if all else fails, you can just drop the main character in the bottomless plot hole.

Ravenclaw Falcon: Despite what you're asking, I don't think that I should be the one shoving a burning dagger down my throat. And, it's good to know that I've got some hate reviews. It means I've hit a nerve. Ta, love.

Corisu Li: No way was I going to let this fic die. I've gotten too many reviews for that. And I love making fun of bad characters too. Is that a crime?

Sarah, Simply: I think the problem is they don't realize how horrible they sound.

Fallingkag: Glad I gave your stomach muscles exercize.

Oh, and I think that in an upcoming chapter, I'll add some really bad Japanese and bad grammar and spelling, but does anyone have any ideas for a "plot" or who Marisu should torment next? And what do you think of my little character interactions at the end of the chapters?

-----

One day, Kouga was walking around. It really doesn't matter where he was walking, but, just for the sake of moving the story along, let's pretend that he was walking in a forest. Now, back to the plot-less story.

As our wonderful wolf youkai was walking, he suddenly realized that there was a strange scent in the air. There was another youkai in his lands and it wasn't one of his men! By now, the readers have decided that this forest is in his lands even though his lands are various mountains and there aren't any forests around.

Because Kouga's nose is a super, dooper wolf nose, he was able to instantly discover that the youkai was a female, fairly young, and incredibly pretty. How he was able to realize that she was pretty from her smell is irrelevant although it does leave the reader thinking. But, he also realized that the youkai was incredibly powerful and therefor posed a threat to him and his wolves.

And so he was off, running at top speed towards the smell of the strange, beautiful, female youkai. Of course, as he got closer and closer, he also began to smell water. The readers collectively gasp as they wonder what is going to happen next.

Kouga skidded to a halt as he came across the most beautiful wolf demon he had ever seen in his life. Her long, black hair tumbled down to the small of her back and was tucked behind her gorgeously pointed ears and her skin was perfectly tan. She was bathing in the springs that suddenly appeared on his territory and, as soon as she sensed him behind her, she looked over her shoulder, piercing him with her exotic, red eyes.

Instantly, Kouga knew that he had stepped where he shouldn't have stepped. Somehow, the female managed to dress herself in all of .25 seconds and leap at him, ready to scratch his eyes out.

"Heeennntttaaaaiiiiiii!!!!!111!!!" she shrieked, clawing at him with her perfect claws. Even though Kouga had the shards of the Sacred Jewel jammed in his legs, he couldn't dodge her swipes or just run away with his tail between his legs.

"No! Wait! I wasn't trying to watch you! Forgive me!" he sputtered, trying to protect his face with his arms. Finally, for a reason that was not inclosed, the woman stopped attacking him and stood a few feet away in a dominatirixy/tough/I'm-a-big-threat-to-you sort of way. It was then that Kouga realized that she was wearing the strangest of clothes. Rather than furs or a kimono or armor or something that a Japanese person would wear, she was wearing a leather skirt and corset with random chains and armor plates that obviously were only for appearance. (A/N: Think Xena: Warrior Princess.)

"Who are you?" the stunned wolf prince asked as he tried to absorb all her beauty, even though that was completely impossible.

"Marisu Tougherthanyouandyourmama," the wolf replied in a nonchalant, dangerous, sinister, mysterious, seductive, entrancing tone.

Suddenly, Ayame appeared because the author didn't know what else to do and she ran to Kouga's side, completely ignoring Marisu. "Kouga! You promised to marry me! Why won't you uphold your vow?"

The redhead said dozens of other things around those lines that told the readers that she was a pathetic, whining brat that should be tranquilized. By the time she was interrupted, her character was so destroyed - even though the author didn't know what she was like to begin with and had only heard about her - that they really couldn't care less about what happened to her.

"Listen, bitch. Get away from the wolf or I'll fucking tear your stupid pigtails out, understand?" Marisu said threateningly although she had no reason to care what Ayame was doing. But that's beside the point. She was tough and had to tell the whole world.

"Kouga, she's being mean to me! Make her stop, Kouga!" the girl whined, squeeled, snorted and wheezed.

Marisu, on the other hand, was much less than impressed. "I'm not going to fucking tell you more than one fucking time, whore. I beat Sesshoumaru in a duel with one hand tied behind my back, I saved seventeen and a half villages from Naraku and I killed all of the Ancient-Demons-That-Nobody-Has-Heard-About when nearly dead from their toxic poisons. Don't think that I won't beat you too."

Ayame blinked, tilting her head at the formidable opponent and then asked curiously, "What happened to the other half?"

Having absolutely no reply, Marisu simply killed Ayame by using several attacks that were described in fragmented sentences.

"Now, do you have any questions or do you just want to kiss the ground I stand on and grovel at my feet?" she asked menacingly.

"I'll kiss the ground you stand on and grovel at your feet," Kouga replied, not wanting to become lunchmeat.

Let's just skip forward in time, shall we? Partly because the author will sooner or later run out of ideas or draw the story out into an epic of 47.65 chapters, each worse than the last, it is inevitable that Kouga and Marisu will realize that they love each other. And, of course, Kouga has forgotten that he claimed that he loved Kagome. Ho hum. That wolf can't remember anything, can he?

"Hey, Kouga," Marisu said one day while leaning seductively, sexily, mysteriously, erotically and devilishly on a rock. "I can see the jewel shards so let's go in your cave and have some kinky, badly written, S & M type sex."

"Hot damn."

And so the two slunk off towards Kouga's cave where they proceeded to do just that. Of course, that is where the problem came in. Because of Kouga's dominant instincts and Marisu's aggressive, dominatrixy personality, both were tops. Damn, what now?

----

Kouga: Ayame… I'm scared. Hold me!

Ayame: -pats Kouga's head- Shh… It's ok. –a few moments later- So, by the way, when are you going to marry me?

Kouga: -gets distracted by a passing butterfly and doesn't answer-