Author's Note: Here's what I've decided. You can tell how flat or developed a Mary-Sue author is by the size of her character's breasts. The larger her character's breasts are, the flatter she is in real life. (So, if I were to write a Mary-Sue, she'd be like a DDDD or so.) Has anyone else noticed that?

Velchan: -bows several times- Hey, what else can I do but make fun of 'em? I mean, I can't go torching the stories, so I might as well flame/make fun of them in my own way, right?

EEevee: Good thing you didn't ask or Dominatrix!Marisu would've killed ya. Poor Ayame.

Disclaimer: It's about time I did one of these isn't it? I don't own InuYasha and co. because if I did, I wouldn't make fun of them. And I really don't know what Ayame's like nor do I have any grudges against her. Sesshoumaru isn't my sex slave, I just have him locked in my closet and chained under my bed on occasion. Marisu, however, is mine, but she is inspired by the wonderful –coughyeahrightcough- Mary-Sue authors out there who need to get a serious grip on reality.

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Marisu was a beautiful girl. When she was born, the Fluffy Rabbit Fairy of Complete and Nauseating Goodness kissed her. Flowers sprouted everywhere she stepped and all hearts melted as she walked by. All in all, she was a perfect angel, descended on earth to rid the world of all evil.

By the age of twelve, she was known throughout Japan for being a healer. She fixed the broken legs of the poor, cuddly forest animals and fed the homeless and even comforted the abused and neglected. There was just no end to her bubbly goodness. Warriors put down their weapons to ask for her hand in marriage, but she always declined. She just couldn't leave the side of her lovely... uh... service receivers.

But things were about to turn horribly horrible for the poor Marisu. The readers all roll their eyes because they're over come with sorrow and apprehension. (A/N: Yeah right. Oh, sorry for the interruption.)

Naraku sat evily in his evil lair of evilness. Just by sitting there, he looked so evil that a mouse walked by and died of fright and several bugs fried as if being engulfed by a street light and Sesshoumaru began whimpering.

Wait, Fluffy-sama, what the hell are you doing here? You already were tortured!

".... I really don't know."

You're ruining my story! GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem, so, where was I? Oh, that's right; Naraku was sitting around evilly and acting all evil. But was he bored. Trying to kill InuYasha and Kagome or destroying Onigumo's heart so he'd stop lusting after Kikyou were such monotonous things. He needed something new to do.

"I am so evil. There is no one who can stand up to me. Bwuahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!2357345!!!!One!!"

"Am I interrupting something?" asked the powerful, evil, satanic, twisted, corrupted, 3v!l Kagura who was casually standing in the doorway and watching Naraku as he began laughing oh-so evily.

"-hahaha Hack! Wheeze! Choke!"

Kagura raised an eyebrow and made a confused expression as Naraku continued writhing on the ground until finally he hacked up a hairball.

"See, I warned you about wearing that monkey suit. People really don't have respect for someone who dresses and acts like they've devolved."

"Shut up Kagura!" he ordered, squeezing her heart that had conveniently appeared in his hand.

The wind sorceress began spazing and clutching her chest in pain. The young woman who was at her side in chains and ropes and muzzled more than Juuromaru (Or was it Kageromaru? And are those names even spelled right? Ah, who cares. Maybe I should add a random "-tsu" at the end of them to make them seem even more Japanesey.) looked on in fear. Oh yes, she was scared, but she forced herself to look brave and strong and like nothing could phase her.

"Kagura, who's that?" Naraku drawled, lazily said, casually asked, boredly inquired.... you get the picture.

"She -scream of pain- is the girl that AAHHH!!!! you asked me to capture. IT BURNNNSSS!!!! AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!"

With no further reason to be in the story, Kagura keeled over dead. Hm, maybe Naraku should've stopped squeezing her heart. But he couldn't help it. The girl she had brought him was just captivatingly, stunningly, inhumanly beautiful. Now, Kagura probably would've looked pretty, or at least delicate, lying there on the ground with her soulless eyes closed and her body spread out like a fragile porcelain doll, but who cares about her?

"W-who are you?" the insanely evil demon asked, staring with his mouth down to the ground and drool trailing out of it.

The young woman tossed her head fiercely, even though she had just watched him accidentally kill someone and not care, and answered defiantly, "Marisu."

Naraku was conveniently drowning in his own pool of drool and was lost for words. Even though this woman was drop dead gorgeous with voluptuous breasts even by anime standards and silky hair that would make any Panteen Pro-V commercial proud and a curvy body that porn stars would fight over, he was not lusting after her in the least. Oh no, he had fallen, tumbled and dropped head over heels in love with her. Pay no attention to his pants.

As he began gurgling something, probably "HELP ME, I'M DROWNING IN DROOL!" but definitely not "OH MY KAMI! A MARY-SUE!! KILL ME NOW!", Marisu leapt forward, the chains, ropes and muzzle - speaking of muzzle, how did she answer his question? The intelligent readers begin pondering this - turned into beautiful, rare, exotic, errotic.... whoops, ignore that last word.... flowers that tumbled around her gorgeously and made her look like an Amazonian warrior without the warrior bit. So she looked like the Amazon. Oh yeah, that was a look all women wanted. Oh, straying from the topic again? Forgive me.

Right, so Marisu leapt forward and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to save the poor Naraku. (A/N: Ok, ew. He's drowning in his own spit and you're sucking the lips off him. That's disgusting. I think I'm scarred for life. I'll have to go shag Sesshoumaru or something to make myself feel better. Wait, did I type that?? Oo;;) Of course, she was pretty much thrusting him into her very well developed breasts and shoving her tongue down his throat, but it was CPR. She had just enhanced it. The readers now wonder exactly how Marisu was famous for "helping" all the people she "helped." And where in the hell she got plastic surgery in the middle of Feudal Japan.

Too logical? Don't worry; it'll tone down a bit.

"Hmlerhhhhgggnnnfffgghh!" Naraku said, chewing the lips of Marisu's face.

"Sorry, what was that?" she asked sweetly, pulling away from him and cradling his head in her arms.

"There's no reason for me to be evil! I love you! I'm yours! I'll be pure and innocent and pure and innocenter!" he vowed.

"No, I must make you pure."

A cricket chirped somewhere and Naraku raised an eyebrow. "WTF?"

Marisu began glowing beautifully and not a sort of "I have radiant Saint Ives improved skin" but an "I'm literally glowing like an iridescent lightbulb." Naraku gasped in awe and -cough- fell in love with her even more. Suddenly, she placed a hand over his heart and all the goodness went rushing out of him through... his belly button. Yes, just like that. WOOOOSSHHH!!! All the evil was gone in a black cloud of blackness. And it entered the nearest host it could find which was... uh... uh... hang on. -the audience holds their breath in suspense as the author plays a game of eenie-meenie-miney-moe between Sesshoumaru, Jaken, Kikyou and Kagome's grandfather (Hey, I needed another person, alright?)- The horrible evilness swiftly entered Sesshoumaru! No... wait... Jaken who was much too close to Sesshoumaru, but no, it was really Rin! Yes, Rin who was chasing Jaken who ran to Sesshoumaru to hide got the blast of the evil evilness!

Rin instantly sprouted horns, fangs and her irises turned red, her white part of the eye turned black and she asked Sesshoumaru for a pet demon of hell that would take over the world. Sesshoumaru got starry eyes and began crying because his little girl was growing up and was beginning to be evil just like him. Maybe she'd have thousands of rabid fangirls one day too! Uh.. Make that fanboys. Or maybe fangirls too. It's all good.

So Marisu and Purified!Naraku lived happily ever after. Of course, somehow Naraku was still a demon even though it doesn't really make any sense. But does any of this make any sense? Seriously, why someone would want to suck the lips off Naraku's face is beyond me and why someone would....

End Chapter

And why someone would.... -author is whacked over the head by Evil!Rin who drags her to her evil demon to be lunch-

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Normal!Rin: Uh… Khepri-san, why is a demon eating your leg?

Me: Don't ask. I've had one helluva day. –is half burned from miasma- Don't go anywhere near Naraku. He's really pissed off.

Naraku: I need to kill something! You! Author! You're on my list.

Me: Shit. –runs-