It took a little while for me to get ready to leave the train that day, especially since we had to do everything in our power to find an apartment for the three of us. I mean, it didn't help that there was hardly anyone to take us in for the time being... this was going to bite us in the bums, I just know it.

Still, Sakura and Ilya-nee were up to something this time. I just know it. What was it, though? I didn't know what they were planning behind my back.

Either way, I had to be careful with how the working of our schedule would go, so to speak. Where were we going to stay for the time being? I hope it's somewhere nice and safe.

With the advice that Tohsaka gave us, I walked over to find the Hyoudou residence. I didn't know the local streets of Kuoh Town, not really, so that might be a point for asking for directions. What was I supposed to do now?

Still, I didn't want to be away from finding the place where the three of us would stay.

"Hey there, newcomer," a teen around my age said, raising a hand to get my attention. Wait, this guy looked like Matsuda! What's going on around here? "Where are you going?"

I focused my attention on the teen in question. It was an issue that I needed to deal with, as in how to avoid being lumped in with the Perverted Duo/Trio of Kuoh Academy, especially since my ability to help people out would really be hampered by the reputation I'd get. However, he didn't have any sign of being the same guy that I would need to deal with in that regard, not yet.

"I'm looking for the Hyoudou residence," I told him at last. "Where can I find it?"

Matsuda, if it was the same guy, gave me a scrutinizing gaze with his eyes closed. "You're looking for the Hyoudou family?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm trying to find out what I should do with some things, especially considering the fact they're associated with the sort of thing my old man was associated with before his passing."

The other teen nodded in return. "Well, so long as the reason for meeting with Mister and Missus Hyoudou is related to your family association, I don't see a problem with that." He held out his hand. "The name's Matsuda. Matsuda Haruki. What's your name?"

I blinked. This was not how I thought this would go. What was I supposed to do? Shake hands with one of Issei's canon buddies who ultimately backstabs him because of Issei's popularity with the ladies?

Then again, I don't think that would even happen in this context. Why am I so certain? I believe that, with Issei not in the picture, the Perverted Duo (I think?) would be less of a threat. Maybe I'm being too optimistic about this.

Reaching out with my hand, I grabbed Matsuda's hand and shook it. "Shounin Shirou, my good man. Please, call me Shirou. If you need any help with anything mechanical, I'm your man, and I even do it for free."

Matsuda blinked before he guffawed. "That's an impressive claim, man! Are you a secret mechanical genius, or something?"

I shrugged. "I wouldn't say that, Matsuda-san," I said. "What I mean is, the main thing I'm able to do with the mechanical engineering that I partake in is fixing things that need to stay in the house. Things like old TVs are not a problem for me to fix, provided you still keep them in the house."

Matsuda stared at me for a bit. "Y'know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a knack for magically fixing things that we normal people don't maintain properly."

I chuckled nervously. "Well, you never know, Matsuda-san. I mean, I have the reputation of being a janitor-type back at my old school, before someone destroyed most of the structural stuff about the buildings."

Matsuda looked around for a bit before he asked, "Are you from Fuyuki City?"

I nodded. "Yep. I was going to be a student in Homurahara for all the year, but this terrorist destroyed most of the infrastructure of the schools, and nobody knows why."

Meanwhile, a certain King of Heroes sneezed, spraying his host with expensive wine.

"Shit, man..." Matsuda croaked out. "Sorry to hear that."

"Ah, don't worry about it," I said. "I mean, it's not like I have anything else I can do about this. I needed a chance to get out of Fuyuki, anyway."

Matsuda nodded. "Makes sense... oh, yeah, you want to visit the Hyoudou family, right?"

I nodded. "If it wouldn't be an issue, yes, that's correct."

Matsuda turned around. "Follow me, then. I was on my way over there when I saw you head into the neighborhood."

I blinked. Well... looks like I'm about to get a tour of the neighborhood while on my way to the Hyoudou residence. This ought to be interesting.

I was wrong. That wasn't a tour of the neighborhood, not in the traditional sense. What exactly did Matsuda's parents do when raising their son?!

I mean, the fact was, Matsuda kept on talking about which household had little kids that looked even remotely interesting to him... ugh. I should have known better than to let the Perverted Baldy give me a tour. This bites.

"And here we are," Matsuda said at long last, bringing me out of my thoughts. "One trip to the Hyoudou household done."

I blinked as I turned to my left. Yep, this was the place. "Thank you, Matsuda-san," I said. "I hope that you and your pals don't get yourselves in trouble, especially with the authorities."

Now that I realized it, I did not know whether Matsuda or Motohama were even pals in this universe... ugh. What was I supposed to do?

Matsuda had a strange thought in his head, so it seemed, because the next thing he said was plain old weird. "Hey, don't worry about it, man. After all, our antics will not stay with us as a stigma that needs to be killed along with us, because we plan to find proper girlfriends and live overseas after marriage."

I turned to face him again. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, right, it's like this," Matsuda said. "The three of us, Motohama Ryu, Hyoudou Issei and I, were known as the Perverted Trio at school before we got into Middle School. I don't know where Issei went, though, because he'd been such a great friend for Motohama and I all this time."

To use a computer analogy, the program containing my mind suddenly crashed and forced a reboot. Hyoudou Issei is a thing?! I thought it was Hyoudou Iruka?!

"Hey, Shirou-san, are you doing okay?" Matsuda waved his hand over my face, as I was frozen in place.

"Uh, maybe?" I asked, before I turned over to walk to the Hyoudou residence. "I'd better get inside for the time being. Please wait for me to be done with my business before coming in, okay?"

Matsuda blinked. "Uh, sure, I don't see a problem with that. Go ahead."

I nodded as I walked over to the front door of the Hyoudou residence. It wouldn't do for me to be seen with him in my company for what I had to do.

With a knock at the door, I waited at the doorstep, before I heard someone from the other side head to the door. "I'm on my way there! Hold your horses, will you?"

That... was odd, come to think of it. What gives with that?

Still, with less than half a minute since I got to the doorstep, the front door opened, revealing Hyoudou Miki in all her housewife glory. "Oh, my apologies. Only my husband knocks at the door these days."

That threw me for a loop. What was that all about?

"It's fine, ma'am," I said. "I take it he's not in right now?"

Hyoudou Miki shook her head. "I'm sorry, but he's at his job now. He should be back for lunch soon, though I wouldn't know what time that would be without looking at the clock."

As if the Heavens were laughing at her, a bus pulled up in front of the house and opened the door, revealing Hyoudou Goro as he walked out. He stepped up to the gate of the house before he seemed to do a double-take, from what I could see of his features. "Miki, who's this?"

Miki seemed to pause for a bit, though for all I know, she was shrugging. "Just someone who wishes to speak with you, dear."

That seemed to appease her husband. "Very well, then. That means I need to postpone lunch for the time being. I guess I'd better get my supplies out for when we get to this meeting that showed up."

"I can cook for you, if you want to have this with food," I said, raising my hand.

It seemed like that was a funny thing of me to say, as in funny strange, not laughing matter funny. "Thank you for the offer, but-" Hyoudou Miki said.

"I know how to cook very well, thanks to my old man not even knowing how to boil water when he was still alive," I said. "Please, trust me with this job, will you?"

This seemed to cause the two of them to look at each other oddly. "Okay, young man, that would be rather helpful," Hyoudou Goro said. "Please, follow my wife into the kitchen to get used to where things are."

"Okay," I said. "I'll be right there."

Fifteen minutes later, both Hyoudou Goro and Hyoudou Miki were drooling at the meal that I prepared for them both. I don't know what that was all about, but it seemed to be a rather interesting reaction to the sight and smell of it alone. Interesting... very interesting.

Since it seemed like I was intruding on their personal time together, I knew I had to tread carefully about how I spoke with them. What was I going to say?

Goro-san wiped the drool away from his face after a moment. "Okay, young man, I would like you to explain what you can about your situation here."

I shrugged as I walked with the dishes for the Hyoudou couple to the table. "Not much to say. My parents died in the Fire of Fuyuki, then my old man adopted me into his family, and I've been training as a Magus under him since right after he and I retrieved his daughter from her mother's family."

This caused both Hyoudou adults to straighten in their seats. "You were in Fuyuki?!"

I nodded. "Yes, and I was stuck with the eventuality that someone would try to drag me away from there... away from the family I gained."

This seemed to endear me to the couple as much as a Magus could be liked with such a backstory. "Well, how old are you supposed to be? I mean, it's not like you are an adult stuck in a body that's far too young for him, are you?" Hyoudou Miki asked.

If only you knew... if only you knew. "To be honest, I'm about to turn 16 this October. Since the Fuyuki schools are down for maintenance against the better judgement of the city, I've been stuck with the odd reality that I need to go to school away from Fuyuki. That's why I had gotten an acceptance letter from Kuoh Academy. Well, apart from the fact I scored well on the entrance exams they gave me for this situation."

Hyoudou Goro sighed. "Well, thank goodness that our daughter doesn't have to deal with this level of stupidity whenever she goes to school these days."

"Your daughter?"

"Ah, right, you're new to town. Don't let Iruka's reputation as Issei dissuade you from being her friend, will you, young man?"

That confirms it. Issei and Iruka were the same person. Why was I even doubting that to begin with?

"Don't worry, I won't let that happen to her, Hyoudou-sama." I gave him a bow to show that I was being serious. "I promise I will be a good friend for her."

Hyoudou Miki asked, "Are you here to explain your situation to the Second Owner of Kuoh Town?"

I nodded. "You can probably imagine that I'd rather not have certain circumstances happen regarding onee-chan and my student in cooking being targeted because I forgot to include them in the circumstances."

"Who would your student in cooking be?" Miki-san asked.

"She was born a Tohsaka, but got sent to live with the Matou family by her father, before regaining the right to be Tohsaka Sakura by her only remaining family member in that family, her older sister Rin," I said.

"Now that I think about it," Goro-san said, "what's the name of the man who adopted you? I would like to thank him for sending you here to meet with us."

My face had to have been marred by the grief I still felt. "Unfortunately, my old man, Emiya Kiritsugu, perished almost four years ago, literally five years after he rescued me from the Fire of Fuyuki. If he were still alive, he'd be practically crippled from whatever happened to him."

This pain that I felt had to have been noticed by the Hyoudou couple, because Hyoudou Miki got up and walked over to me, giving me a hug that only a mother could give. "There, there. Nobody will judge you for being out of sorts because of the death of a parent. I won't, and neither will my husband."

Even Hyoudou Goro gave me a compassionate look. "She's right, Emiya-kun. Don't worry, nothing will happen to you while you still are a wonderful son."

"Th-thanks," I said. "That means a lot to me."

After a few moments, Miki-san let go of me. "Now, I'm sure you have a lot of stuff to do, but why don't you stay for lunch today? It's not like Iruka will show up for anything, given her current living arrangements."

"Thank you for the offer, but I need to make sure that onee-chan and Sakura get alerted to what I learned from you about living here in town temporarily," I said. It took a few moments before the rest of what she said caught up with me. "Wait, what do you mean by that? Your daughter doesn't live with you?"

"Nominally, she does," Goro-san said. "However, she's been staying over on the island of Wadatsumi for the summer break, and hasn't returned yet."

"This is definitely not something we advertise to just anyone, mind you," Miki-san said. "She's been invested in training for a water sport called Jet Battle ever since she was old enough to ride a bike. We've been trying to get her to practice her Magecraft, but it's been no good, even though we've opened her Magic Circuits as a child."

Jet Battle... Jet Battle... where have I heard of that term before? I seriously wonder where that came from. Still, maybe I should divert the topic back to what we were talking about earlier? "I see... still, I wouldn't want to impose, anyway. If need be-"

Goro-san waved his hand. "It's fine, Emiya-kun. You're not imposing on us at all. Besides which, you cooked for us. The least we could do is let you eat it with us."

That made me feel a little better inside. "Okay, if you insist," I said. "Sure, I'll join you for lunch."

It took a while, but we finished eating lunch with all that it entailed. It sure took me back to when my parents were alive, that's for sure. Now, though, I had to get back to where I left Ilya-onee-chan and Sakura. This was going to be a problem...

Suddenly, just as I was about to walk out the door of the Hyoudou residence, I felt my phone buzz in my coat pocket. I pulled it out before checking the number. It looked to be Sakura was calling me. Uh-oh...

"Is someone calling you?" Miki-san asked me.

"Yeah, my student in the culinary arts," I said. "I need to take this call. Do you mind?"

She shook her head. "Please inform her of the situation when you see her in person, though. I don't trust the phone companies to keep the truth obscured regarding the secrecy of magecraft."

That made sense. I guess that there could be phone tappers involved in several cases, and that would be a bad thing for the secrecy of magecraft. That made me want to be safe with how this phone call went. "Thank you for the reminder."

Miki-san nodded. "No problem. You better take the call."

I pressed the button on my smartphone to say that I would take the call before putting the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Emiya, do you know where Sakura is?"

Er... this was rather awkward. Why was Shinji on the line with me instead of Sakura? Still, I had to play along for now, until I was absolutely certain that this was a rather harmless situation at hand. "Actually, that depends. Which phone are you using to call me with?"

"The landline, Emiya. I can't believe this... what makes you think we have anything other than the landline?"

That calmed my nerves down. "That makes sense. I got Sakura a cell phone a couple weeks before her 14th birthday, which I never told you about because of your patriarch hating modern technology."

"You got her one?! I think I get the reason she said nothing, either. Thank you for explaining that. Anyway, where is she? Grandfather has a school uniform for her to attend school in Sapporo, Hokkaido, and he's trying to figure out the legalese about why she's somehow stuck in two different schools outside of Fuyuki."

Urk! This is bad… how do I explain what I know about this without it going to Makiri Zolgen? Stupid Russian Magus… "Shinji, I will only say this to you once, okay? Please be sure to memorize it. Sakura is going to Kuoh Academy's Middle School Branch for the time being, since she applied for that one in particular."

"She's going to... oh, I see what you mean. Thanks for explaining it. I will make sure that grandfather is kept informed of the fact that the legalese needs to be handled by someone else."

"No problem. Thanks for that, Shinji. Now, I'd better get off the phone and tell Sakura what happened here. Please be good to your family, at the very least."

"Sure, will do. Later."

After that exchange, the two of us hung up our respective phones. I turned to face Miki-san. "Sorry about that... it turns out that Sakura's step-brother called me. I'll call her and let her know what's going on here."

Miki placed her face in one of her palms. "I see. Thank you for explaining that to me."

"Ah, before you go, I need to give you my phone number," Goro said, writing a phone number on a slip of paper. After he finished writing it down, he walked over to me and handed the information over. "Here it is."

"Thank you for this, Hyoudou-san," I said.

"You're welcome," Goro said. "Call me about anything that might come up in town, will you?"

I nodded before heading out the door. It wouldn't do to be late returning to Sakura while on my trip here.

Now, why did I feel I was forgetting something important?

"Ah, Shinji. Do you know where Sakura went off to? I was hoping to inform her of the trip to Sapporo myself."

"Sorry, Grandfather, I do not know where she went. Emiya didn't know, from what I could gather about our conversation."

"Is there a reason you're hiding something from me about your phone call with your friend?"

"!"

"Be honest, Shinji, or else you'll be sent to the worm pit."

"Okay, fine! Emiya actually said that the legalese about Sakura's schooling needed to be handled by someone else. Does that meet your criteria of honesty, grandfather?"

"I suppose it does. Did he say who was going to handle it?"

"No, not at all."

"Very well... no worm pit for you, Shinji. You dodged death by the skin of your teeth."

"Th-thank you, grandfather. But, wait, why would you want her to go to Sapporo?"

"To make sure she continued training under me while we're outside of the Fuyuki jurisdiction for school. You'll be attending school in Sapporo, too, young man."

"I think that choice might have been taken away from you, grandfather..."

"Do you want to be sent to the worm pit?"

"No, not at all!"

"Then be prepared for when the schooling opportunity in Hokkaido opens up for the both of you."

I hope I was just being paranoid about the matter. Still, better safe than sorry, as they say. I called Sakura on her smartphone as I walked out of the Hyoudou residence and property.

"Hello, senpai. What's the matter?"

"We might have a situation. Did your sister give you her phone number?"

"What do you mean? Is it wrong for onee-chan to do that?"

"No, because she needs to be aware of the truth of what's going on, too. Do you think she has a cell phone of her own?"

"Actually, no, she told me when I gave her my phone number that she only had a landline that she was going to use at her new place in Suwahara. Is there a problem?"

"Yes, there's a problem. Shinji called me from the Matou landline, asking me if I knew where you were. I hope he didn't share the truth with the patriarch of the Matou family, since he will say that the legalese of your schooling was going to be handled by someone else."

"Where did the patriarch want me to go to school, exactly, senpai?"

"Somewhere in Sapporo. Please don't listen to that directive, okay?"

"I don't plan to... hold on, a call on the other end just came through. Let me check who it is, senpai."

I waited a few moments before she returned to the call we were on.

"Okay, senpai, you're in luck. Rin-onee-chan is on the line now."

That was a surprise. Where was she calling from?

"Emiya-kun, where are you right now?"

"I'm headed back to Sakura and Ilya-onee-chan, Tohsaka. I didn't know which hotel they were staying at, so I was going to ask Sakura where they picked for the time being."

"Senpai's right, onee-chan. Anyway, we're currently staying at the Wakayama Inn, with a reservation for three people in the suite. We told the receptionist that you'd be coming into the inn soon enough. We even told her you'd have our photos on hand to prove who you say you are."

"Ah, okay, Sakura. I'm glad you got that reservation for the three of you. Still, how did you get the lines connected like that?"

"It's a common technology found in modern cell phones, Tohsaka. Are you calling from a payphone or something?"

"I am, Emiya-kun... it's not like I would impose on the Priest who lives at the Trifa Parish for this phone call. Still, what did you need me for?"

"Could you call whoever's taking care of your guardianship and inform them you're bringing your sister back to the family while making sure that she goes to school in Kuoh Town?"

"Er... where did the Matou want her to go to school?"

"Somewhere in Sapporo, Tohsaka. I don't know the details, either."

"Okay, I'll get Kirei to make the arrangements for us, then. Just be sure to wait a few hours before he makes the Matou wish they were in Hell soon enough."

"Thank you, onee-chan. I'm sure everyone in the world appreciates it."

"I hope that, for your sister's sake, that wasn't sarcasm, Sakura."

"Er, Emiya-kun, are you blind to sarcasm, by any chance?"

"He is, onee-chan. He needs to ask that every time someone talks, and primarily when it sounds remotely sarcastic to a regular person."

"I'm still on the line, you two."

"We know, senpai. It's better that you're aware of your shortcomings that way."

"Oh, my. I never would have expected this from Emiya-kun, him being blind to sarcasm in such a way that he has to ask all the time."

I hate my life.

Eventually, I made my way to the Wakayama Inn, which was a small family-run hotel that had a lot of accommodations to help with the traditional slice of life. The inn was full of traditional sleeping arrangements, and it was, rather fortunately, not a Love Hotel. The main reason I said that had to do with the fact that Sakura was rather... well, calmed down from the antics of the Crest Worms in her body. There was hardly a way for us to remove them all, but we dulled the senses of them somehow, given that they could not report to Makiri Zolgen the truth of Sakura's situation.

Still, when I got into the inn, I realized I needed to provide the money for Sakura, Ilya-onee-chan, and myself to stay there. I had to do what I could to prove that I was who I said I was, too. What else was there to this?

So, without further ado, I walked up to the receptionist of the inn. Might as well get this over with.

As the receptionist noticed I was walking to her, she perked up and spoke to me. "Welcome, sir. How can we help you here at the Wakayama Inn?"

"I'm here to stay with the Emiya party," I said, pulling out my wallet. "Here, I have proof that I'm the male of the party."

As I opened my wallet to find the pictures of Ilya-onee-chan and Sakura, the receptionist asked me, "Do you want one of us to find the others of the Emiya party? That might be more helpful to you than pulling out your wallet to find pictures of who you mean."

I blinked. That might be helpful, come to think of it. "Sure, why not? Let me find the right photo first, to pinpoint what the others look like."

At that point, a matron-like woman walked out of the hallway leading into the rest of the inn. "Kikyo-chan, what's the matter?"

The receptionist, apparently Wakayama Kikyo, turned to face the matron and gasped. "Grandmother! When did you get back?"

The grandmother gave her a look that implied her granddaughter was stupid for asking that. "I haven't left yet. Who told you I left for my trip earlier?"

"It was Sayuri, grandmother," Kikyo said, lowering her head. "She said you'd left five weeks ago."

Ouch... this was looking to be more awkward than normal. "Should I come back when you finish this discussion?"

The grandmother turned her head to face me. "Oh, I'm sorry that you felt compelled to leave the Inn without reserving a room. Please, stay in the reception hall." She then turned to face her granddaughter. "We'll be discussing what happened after this gentleman has reserved his room."

"Grandmother, he says he's staying with the Emiya party."

The grandmother turned her attention to me again. "Which party would that be, young man?"

I sighed. "The party includes Emiya Ilya and Tohsaka Sakura, who registered in the inn earlier, and myself. I was taking care of a meeting outside the inn that required Ilya-onee-chan and Sakura to be taking care of the reservations."

The grandmother nodded. "Where do you have a picture of the two of them?"

I opened the picture flap of my wallet before pulling out the correct photo and showing the matron. "Here, a photo of the three of us since a month ago."

The matron nodded before she walked over to the desk and pulled out the reservations book. "Let's see... Emiya... Emiya... I don't see that name on this list of reservations."

I facepalmed. "I'm pretty sure they used the Emiya name for the reservation."

"Oh, I believe you about the fact they reserved rooms here, young man. However, unless they're using Roman characters that I'm unable to read, I can't be of much help to find them like this."

"Grandmother, may I check that quick?"

The grandmother looked at her granddaughter briefly. "Sure, go ahead."

As the granddaughter looked at the reservations book, she scanned it briefly on each page before she found the names she was looking for. "Here we go. It was written in English."

"That makes sense, yeah," I said. "Ilya-onee-chan is half-German, so she needed to know how to write in English for trade purposes."

That appeased the Wakayama family members. "Okay, there's a blank spot for you, Emiya-sama. Here you go."

I nodded, before taking a pen and the reservations book and checked in. Fortunately, to keep with expectations, I wrote my name as Emiya Shirou. "There you go."

"Thank you, young man. Now, it says that you're staying in the Inn for a week at most, until you find a permanent place to stay. Is that true?"

I looked at the grandmother. "Yes, ma'am, it is. We are new to Kuoh Town, and the schools in the place where we called home are under surprise renovation, because of some form of terrorist attack."

"You're from Fuyuki, young man?"

I nodded. "I would like to stay out of your hair as much as possible, though it will take a while to find a place for the three of us."

"What of your parents?" Kikyo asked.

I felt my face fall at the question. "Unfortunately, all three of us lost our parents at a young age. Sakura lost her parents to a murderer, I lost my birth family to the Fire of Fuyuki, and Ilya-onee-chan and I both lost the last family we ever had to a mysterious illness. Ilya-onee-chan lost her mother around the time of the Fire of Fuyuki as well."

The grandmother looked at me with what had to be a great deal of sympathy. "My condolences, young man. I hope your guardian approves of you three in the same area unsupervised if they're not here with you."

I nodded, my spirits slightly lifting. "Yes, she approves of the situation. Thing is, she's actually my homeroom teacher when I was learning in Fuyuki, before the schools shut down for renovation like that."

"That's interesting. Now, here you are." The grandmother held out a room key. "Please head to the room assigned to this key."

"Thank you."

Well... that was a gut punch. How was I supposed to know this place was literally a love hotel mixed with a regular inn? Then again, this was Devil territory, and the territory owned by the Hyoudou family, so it stood to reason that porn logic would work here. Still, what was I supposed to do?

"Senpai, are you feeling okay?"

Sakura seemed to know something was wrong about this, but what did she know was wrong? I'd have to ask her.

"Sakura, did you know that this was a mix of a love hotel and a regular old-fashioned inn?"

To her credit, she blinked rapidly, before she facepalmed. "I can't believe I didn't notice that!"

Ilya-onee-chan walked over to the kitchen of the suite. "Notice what?"

"That this is a fusion of an old-fashioned inn and a love hotel, onee-chan," I said.

Ilya-onee-chan tripped over her feet as she heard that. "Ow..."

"Do you need a hand?" I asked, walking over to her and offering my hand.

Ilya looked at me momentarily before she took hold of my hand. "Thank you, Shirou."

I pulled her up to her feet. "You're welcome, onee-chan."

"Still, senpai, what are we supposed to do? We're not supposed to sleep together at this rate, are we?"

Ilya-onee-chan and I looked at Sakura when she said that. "Er..." I let out.

"I'll prepare the condoms."

Both Sakura and I spun to face Ilya-onee-chan. "What are you saying?!" Sakura squeaked.

I felt the heat of what was going on hit my face. What in the ever-loving HELL was Ilya-onee-chan doing?!

"Oh, relax, both of you. I know you have a thing for him that's more than a student and her teacher. Fact is, I'm pretty sure that Shirou masturbated to us both at some point."

I gave a forceful sigh. "Onee-chan, no, that's not true. I have not masturbated to either of you, mainly because I'm not about to break any laws while in the area."

"Eh?" Ilya-onee-chan looked at me, her face showing that she was confused. "What about those photos I saw in your room of us in only our negligee?"

"What are you talking about? I don't have photos like that... do I?"

"Senpai, I don't remember seeing those photos there, either."

Ilya blinked as she turned to face Sakura. "But... in that case, where did they come from?"

I gently placed my face in my palms. "Just... if you want us to take each other's virginities, even if it's technically impossible for one of us, we should do this the right way. What's your refractory period like, onee-chan?"

I didn't want to make her pregnant, especially since I'm positively sure we're too young to be parents so soon. Fact is, I didn't want to make Sakura pregnant this early, either, since her sister was likely to get mad at me for making her pregnant.

"Huh? Well... I'm pretty sure I'm in the safe zone for not being pregnant soon enough… for now."

I turned to face Sakura and quirked an eyebrow. "What about you?"

"Well... if I remember right, my pregnancy cycle is shot. My ability to judge when a good time to be pregnant is does not work."

I groaned. "So, do we go with a condom for our time together?"

"Oh, no, Senpai. I want to carry your child, though it will take a bit to make sure we can get married at all."

"There you have it, Shirou," Ilya-onee-chan said. "We're ready to put this room to good use, so long as we stay here in this hotel for the proper use of it."

I perked up. "Okay, then... but I don't want to force you two to carry my kids, at least not yet. Fact is, Sakura's older sister would be mad at me if I did it without permission."

That got Sakura to pale as much as possible. "Oh, yes, good point. Sorry about that..."

I nodded. "It's alright, Sakura. Now, though, what are we going to do about the fact we're lodging in a love hotel?"

Sakura put a hand to her chin. "I wonder if we can convince onee-chan to come by here?"

My eyes bugged out. What was Sakura talking about now?

"Hmm? You mean you don't want to have a foursome at some point?"

"Actually, yes, I would like a foursome, as well as a bigger session of sex at some point," I said before my mind could catch up with my mouth. When it did, however, I realized what it was I had said and promptly hid my face in my hands. "Why did I say all that out loud?"

"You might be under the effects of a compulsion spell, Shirou."

I turned to face Ilya, who had her eyes glow with the effects of Structural Analysis. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, this spell is permeating throughout the inn, which is compelling the renters to go at it in all manners of kinks. I don't think we should test the spell, at least not yet, but that's because we're magi who need the safety of the common folk in mind. What purpose does this spell even have?"

I shrugged. "How did you even notice it, though?"

Ilya-onee-chan turned to face the vents in the kitchen. "There's a bounded field in the air supply, though its main purpose is to strengthen certain contaminants that were introduced into the water. Why the water, I'm not sure, not really. Why would the water have the contaminants when the air supply is where the bounded field is?"

"How did you notice the bounded field?" I asked.

"I noticed it because of the way I can perceive mana. I don't know how come it's so easy for me to see mana, but there were trace amounts of spell work mana in the air, at least enough to contaminate someone to be drunk on sex."

Sakura gulped. "I think we need to report this to the Second Owner and his family."

"No kidding," I said, shivering at the thought of what was going on. "I just hope that we don't end up getting his ire by accident."

Soon enough, I got on the line with Goro-san, allowing me to explain the situation to him without mentioning magecraft in the general vicinity of anyone overhearing us. Thankfully, since he was a Magus, I could tell him the truth with the right code words.

"I see... this is rather concerning, Shirou-kun," he said. "Please keep me appraised."

"I plan to, sir," I said. "I just don't know who's responsible for this idea."

"I'll look into this situation for you, then. Until then, be sure to refrain from anything that would be served at the inn."

"Roger that. I just hope that it will be enough for us to be safe over here. Emiya Shirou here, over and out." With that, I hung up the phone.

"Well?" Ilya-onee-chan, why are you acting as if you're expecting a different outcome?

"It seems we need to be careful in this inn. That nobody is aware of this from a local standpoint is rather disconcerting." I shook my head. "Frankly, this is going to be a problem we cannot afford to have."

"Well, should we go out to eat, then?" Sakura asked.

I put my hand to my chin when I realized what it was she asked. With that, I nodded. "Might as well, yeah. Now, where do we go to eat for this meal?"

It took me a bit, but I decided on three options. There was McDonalds, Burger King, and Dairy Queen. Why those three? I couldn't tell you, sorry. I think I might have seen at least one of them in the nearby shopping arcade... but where?

"Senpai?"

I raised one finger in front of myself, as it was imperative that I keep this thought in place. "I'm thinking that we'll head to a fast-food joint for now, Sakura, Ilya-onee-chan. After that, we'll get over to shopping for food to make in this kitchenette that we have."

"Where do we go to eat, Shirou?"

I paused in mid-motion, since I was about to head over to the door that lead out. "Honestly, I think we'd be best suited for the nearest joint... which would it be?"

Then it hit me. There was a nearby fast-food joint that we could go to! It was one of the three options I had decided on earlier, and it was even better in terms of the reviews it got. If I remembered right, it was McDonalds. If only I could figure out where I would get the groceries from while in town... ugh.

"Senpai? Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes, Sakura, I'm sure. Now, let's take care of this, shall we? We still have dinner to eat, and we need to shop for more food later, if I'm not mistaken."

Ilya-onee-chan sighed. "Well, here's hoping there's no need to save people while throwing your life away, Shirou. That would be the worst possible idea you could have. Please don't do it, not to me, and not to Sakura."

A/N: Yeah, good luck with keeping that line of thought, Ilya. You're going to need it.

Anyway, sorry for the delay in writing this Author Note. I forgot to take care of it sooner... ugh. Why me, anyway?

Now, the next chapter will be up soon enough, even though I don't have a real clue when that will be. My best guess is that I'll be done with it in about a week, give or take. Then again, I don't know if that's the truth.

Okay, I'd better get myself ready to write the next chapter. Please, be patient with me.

Until We Meet Again... Farewell.
~Xamusel

PS: I recently started a Let's Play series for the newest Star Ocean game to come out. If you want to find it, go search for my YouTube handle, AKA XamuselUzumaki. Please replace the with the correct symbol.

I hope that helps you find it. Let me know how I did, okay?