Keitaro's Other Side
A Love Hina/ Ranma ½ Fanfic
Pietaro Urashima
"I see stupid disclaimers!"
Pietaro here, once again, to confuse you with the melding of two equally large character rosters. I hope that any of you can follow this. I can't half of the time.
Chapter 3: In Transit
Since Keitaro Urashima was 5 years old, he lived his life trying to get into Tokyo U. Quite recently, he did so, and in doing, fulfilled his promise to a girl he loved when he was 5. Recent developments aside, he was a happy person. His life hadn't fully panned out yet, but for the first time, things were really looking up.
Since Ranma Saotome was 5 years old, he (unknowingly) and Genma Saotome (insert appropriate adverb here) made deals and promises that would set his life up for the chaos he would have to endure up to the present. He conquered the idiocy surrounding him with relative ease, and was getting along quite okay for someone in his position.
Neither of these boys becoming men were ready for the events that transpired in the last two chapters. Hence Ranma's worry and preventative action which is about to transpire.
"So you don't believe me then?" Ranma said, in a slightly sarcastic tone.
Since the Hinata Crew had settled in, everyone had found something to do. Motoko was discussing the principles of advanced ki techniques with Nodoka, who was in turn, imparting the knowledge of using the sheath as a complement to and as another sword. Motoko was considering a sash for this. Sarah and Su were busy refitting the van with large mecha parts and the like. Seta was busy filling out yet another insurance report. He had to report one once in a while. Shinobu was following Kasumi around, helping her with the chores as well as observing her techniques. Her eyes shone with admiration at someone whom embodied all that was sacred to her outside of Keitaro Urashima. Mutsumi was bumbling about as usual. Akane, Ranma, Keitaro and Naru were seated inside discussing what Ranma had brought up.
"You haven't lived with what I live with. It can't be worse." Keitaro said assuredly.
"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Naru had a familiar glow in her eye.
"Oh... no..." Keitaro was introduced to the other side of the room, by way of air. (Good form.) Akane thought.
"Oh really!" Ranma scoffed at the now upended person at the other side of the room. "Hmm. Let's see. It has been about a day since someone started bothering me. So that would make the next attack..."
"AIREN!!!"
"Now." In a few seconds, after Keitaro had righted himself, he saw a rather curvy, scantily clad, and apparently Chinese, girl fix herself on top of Ranma, much in the manner that Su would do so, except even more so. He tasted some blood and quickly noticed that he had developed a nosebleed, yet again.
"A-and who might this be?" Naru and Akane eyed Keitaro for a mere moment.
"This is Shampoo, a Chinese Amazon."
"VILE SAOTOME!!!" Another teen had run in, this time in a chinese robe and glasses that shouldn't under all reason have been able to fit on someone's head.
"And that would be Mousse, another... Chinese Amazon." Ranma had set to the task of trying to push Shampoo off of him.
"He's unusually calm today," Akane noted.
"Who are you? Another trying to steal my Shampoo?"
"Shampoo is not Mousse's Shampoo. Is Ranma's Shampoo."
"Die Saotome!"
Ranma was still attempting to break free of the Amazon Glomp. "Help. Somebody. Please. GEDOFFAME!!!"
Keitaro proceeded to attempt to pry Shampoo off while Ranma pushed her off. "How dare you lay hands on Shampoo! Die!- er... what's your name?"
"Keitaro Urashima. Nice to meet you."
"Ah, thank you. Nice to meet you as well. Die Urashima!" Mousse charged at Keitaro with apparently a Lance, a Spear, a Poleaxe, Halberd, and other assorted polearms extending from his sleeve.
Keitaro screamed on general principles, and Mousse chased him into the koi pond.
When they had come out of the koi pond, Cologne had finally arrived, grumbling about pedestrian traffic. "Alas, yet another victim of the Nannichuan."
(Duck?)
"Quack, QUACK!!!"
Shampoo was shocked at the sudden sex change of the new arrival, only a little though, she did live near Jusenkyo growing up, as did all Chinese Amazon. Little shocked as she was, it was enough for her to release her glomp somewhat, which allowed Ranma to finally succeed in pushing her off, straight into the koi pond.
(Cat?)
"Miya..."
"Ranma, are all your friends like this"
"Theyr'e not my friends, and no not all of them. So far, it's me, dad, R...(Damn, close one there.), Shampoo, Mousse, and a guy called Pantyhose Taro who I hope you never have to meet... But all of them are weird, the Kuno's, Gosunkugi... please don't make me continue.
"99.99% of the populace has a dan ranking in some kind of martial art, or is the practitioner of some obscure martial art that shouldn't even be possible, but is highly effective."
"So, you mean, I lived in a dorm where everyone could kick my ass, now I'm in a city where everyone can kick my ass? I feel right at home."
"Quack."
"Maybe not right at home, but I feel better."
Cologne hated waiting. She had patience aplenty, but she could be as mature as a 5 year old, some of the time. She smacked Keitaro in the back of the head with her cane and promptly squatted on top of it again {the cane}. "Urashima, was it? Given your... new situation, I should join you. As the matriarch of the Chinese Amazon, I have a duty to help you with your curse."
"You didn't offer me any help when you found out about me." A disgruntled Ranma mumbled.
"I heard that." SMACK. "Let's go inside."
"Hmm..." Keitaro had just finished sharing with Cologne exactly who he was and where he came from. Or rather, Keitaro had just finished listening to a plethora of good and bad details about him and his life from his tenants. "So your'e capable of taking punishment well hmm?"
Keitaro opened his mouth to answer, but Su had thought of a more efficient way of proving this fact, being a genius and all. She pulled out a giant lazer labeled 'Re-atomizer' and fired it at Keitaro. Cologne's first response was (Hidden Weapons Technique?). Keitaro shone for a moment, and then disappeared. A few moments later, he reappeared, apparently having been taken completely apart and put back together in mere seconds. "That hurts more than it seems."
"Well, that was... strange... and yet unfounded- GAAK!" Su shot Ranma for the hell of it, and Cologne barely dodged out of the line of fire. Upon re-atomization, Ranma promptly vomited, and passed out. "Hmm... so Ranma couldn't withstand the effects of that device, and yet Keitaro seems relatively unharmed."
"I hit them 'cuz they're probably the only two humans alive that can survive re-atomization."
"Oh. PUT IT AWAY NOW!!!" Cologne showed genuine panic, obviously believing what Su had said. "Ahem... Now, Ranma, you had said before that he needs training in the martial arts?"
Recovering, he sat down, clearing his throat. "Yeah. He shouldn't leave Nerima like that, so staying here, he's likely to be attacked more than once."
"Yes, that seems to be the case. I suppose we could send him to my friend in the Amazon Village, she shouldn't mind him too much."
"Thank you very much." With that Keitaro stood up, and walked over to the door and opened it. Or that's what he expected to happen. Keitaro tried to open the door, but Kasumi had opened the door, walking outside with Shinobu, and Keitaro ended up with his hand on her breast. Kasumi only said "Oh my..." and both Naru and Akane attempted to punch/mallet Keitaro into LEO. From opposite sides. Which ended up with Keitaro lying on the floor, having suffered two times the destructive force of a 'Pervert's Bane'.
"Then again... he might not fare so well in the Amazon Village. I don't think it would be best for him to do as we had planned."
Ranma stood up. "It's getting late anyhow. We would offer you a room, but I don't think that we have enough space for all of you."
"I seem to remember having some tents..." were the words that led to the Tendo, Saotome, and Hinata tenants sleeping in the courtyard, in tents of course.
"Sshhh... Soun, can you make anymore noise?"
"I'm (sob) sorry, but it's just so sad what we're going to make the (sob) boy go through, Genma." Soun Tendo could cry over a good night's sleep, so it's no surprise at his reaction during this dark night.
The two shadowed men crept towards Keitaro, Naru, Ranma and Akane's tent. There was much bonding and laughter in that tent over past antics. "Are they asleep?"
"Y-yes."
"Then let's get to work." The men stealthily entered the tent, picked up one male inside the tent, and loaded him on a truck a good distance away from the Dojo. They drove through the night, and upon reaching... somewhere, they dumped the young man, and hurried back to Nerima.
Keitaro woke with a start and immediately looked around. All he could see was lush jungle in every direction. Except for one, and in that direction, he saw a hut, and what looked like a village. Getting up, he started towards the village, hoping to find some help, if not at least some cool artifacts of some sort. If only he knew exactly where he was going. If he had gone in the opposite direction, he would have run into Jusenkyo.
Genma and Soun were backing into a corner, bowing and looking for an opportunity to escape and flee for their lives. They were being stared down by an angry mob of females. Well, Naru, Akane, Kanako and Nodoka don't really constitute the numbers of a mob, but they can do more than recreate the effect of one. Nodoka had taken on a crazy, angry vibe that normally wasn't expected of her. "It's TOO early for your ANTICS, HUSBAND. I SUGGEST that you explain NOW what you have done with Urashima-san." Her hand remained grasping her omnipresent kitana.
Naru was staring with tears slowly trickling down her face, while Akane and Kanako were staring with rage. Not that Naru didn't have enough rage to go around, but she was showing her worry more. There was no way that Soun could withstand the cause for tears, and Kasumi had to prop him up so that he wouldn't drown in his tears. Genma, however, was still glancing left and right, knowing that at any moment, his opportunity would manifest itself. And it did, the moment that the ladies' attention slightly drifted to Soun as he nearly drowned. He leapt and began to run away, and stopped shortly after he saw he had to or run himself through with Motoko's sword. Su was readying the charge for the Re-atomizer, Kanako gathered her battle chi, Akane grasped a mallet (in malletspace, of course) and Nodoka her kitana.
"Okay, okay! I giwe up! I surrender!"
"And you will tell us what we want to know?"
"Yes, Yes of course."
"Okay, so what have you done with Urashima-san?"
"W-w-we took him to... to the Amazon Jungle! (sob sob more sobbing)"
"Dammit Soun! (Have you forgotten already the delaying tactics we developed over the years?)"
Ranma had a determined look in his eyes. "We can't leave him there, stranded and alone. We have to go get him. If you would like to HGGRK!?" Ranma had directed the last towards the Hinatasou tenants, but stopped at seeing the same look in all of the girls' eyes, one of immense worry.
They looked at each other. They looked at Ranma. They looked at Nodoka, who stared at the girls for a moment, and nodded in understanding, and Akane did the same. They glared at the other two men, who were still quivering in fear. Then they explained their worst fears to Ranma, who seemed to have not taken them seriously when they took it as their task to describe Keitaro. His eyes then widened, but the other women didn't look surprised. (Women, even when they're not talking, they're talking. Damned Eyespeak.)
Su then unveiled what she had been working on during all the chaos.
Keitaro stepped into the village. He couldn't read chinese, and so didn't understand any of the signs or markings. He also didn't see anyone around. So when nobody responded to his calls for help, he took it to himself to look around. He then found a hot spring. Since no one was present at the moment, he decided to take a bath.
Sniff. Sniff. "I smell a man."
"... We all do. This is the male's hunting trail that we are crossing."
"I know, you can't miss the bright pink trail markers (Blind Fools...). No, it's coming from the village. I think it's the bad kind of man."
"You must be joking. No one is stupid enough anymore to go to our village."
"Hmmm... I guess you're right. But I still want to go back. I've been meaning to try out that new hot spring we put in."
-End Chapter 3-
I apologize to anyone who waited so long for this chapter, if any of you are left. I honestly couldn't make it work until now, since now I have more of an understanding of Ranma 1/2. Yes, I was stupid and started a crossover without knowing enough about both series. Well, I have some kind of an idea for the next Chapter, but that might take long too. That and my attempt at a more serious fic. Please look for me on Fiction Press if you're interested. Thank you for reading my fic, please R&R, and stick around, kay?