Author's Note: This chapter probably is a little more controversial than the others seeing as it's about Marisu convincing Jakotsu that he's straight. Just for the record, I want everyone to know that I am not homophobic and that I do not hold anything against homosexuals. My stories poke fun at everyone (well, Mary-Sues at least). Phew, now that that's over with, I can get onto the review responses.

Corisu Li: I loved writing the Sango/Miroku bit. ; They're my second favourite pairing, after all. (Kagura/Sesshoumaru being the first.)

Quiet Escapist: I'm thinking of having another chapter with Garisu. Maybe when he runs into the –ahem- more feminine men in the series. But he will make another appearance, have no fear.

Bittersweet-memory: There is no way that I would give up on this story. It's an excellent way for me to rant and make fun of Mary-Sues without having various authors yell at me for "flaming" them. And I find it ironic that you mentioned Jakotsu, Bankotsu and Hiten because they're the characters that I wanted to talk about next.

EEevee: You want to use my character black hole? You can borrow it. I'll even give you a borrow one, get one free coupon. I mean, there are so many of them that it'll be impossible for me to run out. There are lots of plot holes too, come to think of it. But that really isn't the point is it? ; Heh heh heh… Glad to see that you didn't fall off the plane of fanfiction-ness.

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Jakotsu was gay. He was not at all interested in having an intimate relationship with members of the opposite sex. He was homosexual, non-straight and about a dozen other words (each less appropriate than the last).

Oh, puh-leeze. He was just yet to meet the true love of his life that would make him realize that he had just been trying to find himself and that the self he had been trying to find was very much straight.

In other words, he needed to meet her.

But before the joyous union could begin, Jakotsu had to be doing something of interest. Because Jakotsu had to be the "stereotypical homosexual" so that the readers would be constantly reminded that he was convinced that he was gay, he is randomly sitting in a field, weaving flowers in his hair and color coordinating his make-up and clothes.

The more intelligent readers begin to think that Jakotsu is acting more like a preppy nine year old than a grown up man, but they have no time at all to worry about that because the situation was just about to worsen... improve... change for an unknown result.

He began humming to himself a pretty little song and then, before he knew it, he got up and began dancing around, spinning happily, twirling merrily, getting dizzy joyfully.

That was when he heard the laughter.

It was clear, melodious, charming, sincere, happy, girly, chiming laughter that reminded him of the light wind blowing through a field of daffodils that had small bells tied to their leaves.

He stopped abruptly, looking around with surprise, confusion, miffedness and light shock. He was a fighter! A deadly member of the Shichinintai! How could someone have snuck up on him without him noticing?

So he continued looking around, intent on discovering who was watching him.

"Helloo?? Where are you? I know you're there," he said in a singy sing-song voice, looking behind trees, underneath rocks and behind flower petals.

The laughter sounded again and he turned around quickly, abruptly, startledly and very much un-like how a fighter would act. Rather than prepare to fight, he stood there, head tilted to the side and a clump of flowers in one of his hands.

In all honesty, out of everyone else, he was acting the most like someone would act when meeting a Mary-Sue: Completely shocked.

The girl before him was stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, hot, cute, sexy, magnificently carved from alabaster by a romantic god that wanted to create something that would make any man feel weak in the knees.

"Looking for something?" she asked, acting like a certain member of the Inu-gumi as the fangirls call it that always seemed to state the obvious.

He stood, dumbfounded, trying to take in all of her beauty without having his head explode. "Uh..."

But one look into those watery, shimmering, innocent, curious, enchanting, becoming, come-hither, forget-me-not, why-are-there-so-many-hyphen blue eyes and he forgot what he wanted to say. She laughed at his confusion, shaking her head in mirth so that her long dark, light, medium, shining, silky, satiny, smooth, un-coarse, not-oily, Panteen pro-V hair so that the sun sparkled off the brilliant brown, mahogany, amber, oak, redwood, coffee, toffee, chocolate brown hair.

"You're kinda cute," she said, twirling a lock of her hair around a finger - her finger, not Jakotsu's... that would have been really, really awkward - and smiling. All she needed was to have some bubble gum and blow a big bubble and she'd be acting just like a ditzy girl from the modern times.

Jakotsu blushed, cheeks going as red as a tomato or a fire or a red flower or blood or a blush or ... a red thing.

"Oh.. Uh... Thank you," he stuttered, not quite sure what to say. Of course, he could have said "GO TO HELL!!!!!" and ran away, but it wouldn't have made any difference. Marisu had already all but taken out the spray-can and sprayed "Marisu's man!!" all over him, so she would end up with him wether he resisted her or not.

But he didn't want to. He couldn't explain it, but just one look into those beautiful, deep, mysterious, penetrating, sincere, innocent, child-like, super model eyes of hers did more for him than staring at pictures of topless InuYasha, Kouga, Sesshoumaru (with his left arm healed because it was a bit awkward looking at a guy with half an arm. It just made you think, "Hey, where the hell is his other arm? What happens if he has to tie a knot in something? Does he use his teeth?" and not "Holy shit, that guy's hot. Wow. Drool. Drool. Drool."), Bankotsu, Miroku and Inu no Taisho used to. And that was, obviously, saying quite a lot.

Marisu giggled, tossing her hair over her shoulders and fiddling with the hem of the billowing sleeve of her kimono that was the deep blue of the ocean in the middle of the night of the new moon.

"Who are you?" she asked, a cute blush staining her cheeks a light crimson, pink, cherry, floral color.

"Jakotsu," he replied, almost forgetting his own name and then not being able to speak because, all of a sudden, he found himself strangely tongue-tied.

Her breath hitched and her eyes instantly misted over, as if she had just found herself in the presence of someone worth worshiping. "You mean, you're part of the Shichinintai??"

Jaktosu should have realized in that precise moment that her strange, morbid, twisted, inexplicable, surreal, strange, odd, weird fascination with the Shichinintai was not normal. But he couldn't help but suddenly find himself infatuated with her and, with his infatuation, he had lost all common sense and was acting as innocent as a newborn bunny rabbit. Not the Playboy Bunny because that thing could never be innocent, but a cute, cuddly, Disney style bunny.

"Yeah," he responded brightly, thinking that it would be a great way to show off to her. Suddenly feeling self-conscious about the flowers and color coordinating thing he had been doing although he'd probably never felt self-conscious at all before and he definitely had never thought about reconsidering the question of his sexuality.

Marisu did strange things to him.

And that was not meant to be taken in a strange way, you perverted readers.

... Honestly, all you do is say something and everyone just has to twist it and there you go! It's like pornography for the mind.

Freaks.

Tch.

Oh, right, the story. Marisu's eyes shimmered in delight and she leapt forward, taking Jakotsu's hand in her own and squeezing it tightly. "Oh! That's so incredible! I've never met a youkai warrior before!"

He chuckled uneasily, prying his hand away from her vice-like grip and clearing his throat. "There's nothing that special about me..."

"Oh, but there is! You are a fighter, a strong person who enforces his beliefs in violent ways and has no remorse for slaying all those in his paths! I'm sure that you're also misunderstood, lonely, neglected, were abused in your past..." Marisu trailed off, turning away as a lonely tear snaked its way down her cheek. She couldn't bare to let the man before her see her cry. She just couldn't. He was too happy to see her in her moment of sadness, depression and despair.

"Marisu?" he asked in concern, eyes brimming over with worry. Now, how he knew her name is a mystery because she never introduced herself to him, but it is pretty easy for the readers to brush this off as well as the fact that he suddenly decided that he was straight despite having known that he wasn't for a countless length of time.

"It's nothing," she said hastily, wiping the stray tear away.

"Please, tell me," he said sincerely, turning her so that she faced him. He put a hand under her chin, forcing her head up so that he stared deep into those entrancing eyes of hers.

She suddenly burst into tears, sobs shaking her svelte, but incredibly fit and curvy, body. "It's just my past! It's been following me since I was a child, threatening to engulf me in memories of pain, suffering, sorrow, sadness and horror!!"

"... Jakotsu?" came a voice from behind the youkai. Jakotsu turned to see Bankotsu standing behind him, an eyebrow raised.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere! What are you doing in a field of flowers? Who's the wench?"

Marisu pulled her head up from Jakotsu shoulder and her jaw positively dropped when she caught sight of Bankotsu. The sun reflected off his armor and tanned skin, making him look completely irresistible and breath-taking.

"My, my, my, aren't you the stud," she purred, pushing Jakotsu away from her and latching her arms around Bankotsu's neck.

"Bankotsu... How could you?" Jakotsu asked, tears filling his eyes as he watched the love of his life smile in the arms of another man.

"Jakotsu, I'm sorry, but... I'm hotter than you," he replied with a shrug, tilting his head down to begin making out with Marisu.

A sudden black hole appeared behind Jakotsu and he realized his fate even before he was sucked in. He closed his eyes, willing to accept his fate.

Dammit, shoulda just stayed homo.

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Jakotsu: ... -bottom lip begins to tremble-

Bankotsu: Yeah... Marisu does that to everyone. -twitch-

Jakotsu... TT

Bankotsu: You ok? I didn't think that this chapter would -

Jakotsu: BUT I'M GAY, DAMMIT!!!