Disclaimer: What is God? How can we ask the great answ-what? This isn't the illuminati meeting? Oh, I don't own Harry Potter...just forget what I said.
Chapter 2 Serious Questions
Snape was thundering with rage, Dumbledore was bubbling with laughter, and Flitwick was trying to get a knife out of his ass...don't ask how it got there, I don't know.
"You are in direct disobedience of rule 2345675345 of paragraph B52 of the 1997 goblin riot convention hearing!", yelled Snape.
"What in the world are you talking about?", asked McGonagall, who was sitting in a royal blue chair in the corner.
"Nothing, I just wanted to sound professional..."
"Severus is right, Harry. I will have to dock your house by twenty-five points.", said Dumbledore.
Severus jumped in the air and crossed off another thing to do before he dies on his notepad:
Get laid by Lily Evans Get Dumbledore to subtract Gryffindor's house points Pet a dog Go back in time Eat tuna Kick a Potter straight in the arse
"Professor, but the train was out of control again! The conductor was in the bathroom with the lunch cart lad-", Ron was cut off when Filch said, "Oh, professor. An Alexander Phorpus is here to see you."
An asian man wearing money-green robes stepped into the office.
"Ah, Phorpus! Nice to hear from you at last!", said Dumbledore outstretching his hand.
Phorpus shook it and said, "I believe our agreement clearly stated that our property was not to be damaged."
"Oh, of course.", said Dumbledore, staring directly at Harry.
"Which means I will have to collect the fee...", and Phorpus outstretched a gloved hand.
Dumbledore said, "Benefactrius!", then a pile of galleons popped in mid-air and landed with a clatter on Dumbledore's desk.
"Hmmm, the price would be about a hundred galleons or so?", asked Dumbledore, sorting through all the gold and silver.
Phorpus's eyes lit with greed at the sight of the money, then he coughed and waved his wand to transport all of the loot-er-fee.
"Well, I'm off. And you'd better tell your more...callous students...", and Phorpus said this while looking straight at Ron, "To mind their own property." Then he walked off into the hallway.
Dumbledore waved Harry, Ron, and Hermione away. They were exiting Dumbledore's office (which was now guarded by a marble merman with emeralds emblazoning its fins...but the gargoyle was still there as a secretary) when Ron said, "Why DID we go in the roof?"
"D'know" said Harry, "Next time we're smoking Luna's grass, Ron."
Hermione nodded agreeingly, "This IS our seventh year after all, we don't want to get kicked out NOW."
Harry wrapped an arm around Hermione's waist and said, "So, when we celebrate the end of the year...how should we celebrate?"
Hermione licked her lips and held onto Harry's tie and said, "Maybe some ice cream and cherries...and a whip?"
Ron asked, "Wait, why do you eat ice cream with a whip?"
Harry and Hermione looked at him again with sturdy you're-a-real-nincompoop looks.
They walked off when Ron asked, "Really! I tried it! The leather taste overpowers the ice cream!"
A/N: Review, review, blah, blah, blah.
Chapter 2 Serious Questions
Snape was thundering with rage, Dumbledore was bubbling with laughter, and Flitwick was trying to get a knife out of his ass...don't ask how it got there, I don't know.
"You are in direct disobedience of rule 2345675345 of paragraph B52 of the 1997 goblin riot convention hearing!", yelled Snape.
"What in the world are you talking about?", asked McGonagall, who was sitting in a royal blue chair in the corner.
"Nothing, I just wanted to sound professional..."
"Severus is right, Harry. I will have to dock your house by twenty-five points.", said Dumbledore.
Severus jumped in the air and crossed off another thing to do before he dies on his notepad:
Get laid by Lily Evans Get Dumbledore to subtract Gryffindor's house points Pet a dog Go back in time Eat tuna Kick a Potter straight in the arse
"Professor, but the train was out of control again! The conductor was in the bathroom with the lunch cart lad-", Ron was cut off when Filch said, "Oh, professor. An Alexander Phorpus is here to see you."
An asian man wearing money-green robes stepped into the office.
"Ah, Phorpus! Nice to hear from you at last!", said Dumbledore outstretching his hand.
Phorpus shook it and said, "I believe our agreement clearly stated that our property was not to be damaged."
"Oh, of course.", said Dumbledore, staring directly at Harry.
"Which means I will have to collect the fee...", and Phorpus outstretched a gloved hand.
Dumbledore said, "Benefactrius!", then a pile of galleons popped in mid-air and landed with a clatter on Dumbledore's desk.
"Hmmm, the price would be about a hundred galleons or so?", asked Dumbledore, sorting through all the gold and silver.
Phorpus's eyes lit with greed at the sight of the money, then he coughed and waved his wand to transport all of the loot-er-fee.
"Well, I'm off. And you'd better tell your more...callous students...", and Phorpus said this while looking straight at Ron, "To mind their own property." Then he walked off into the hallway.
Dumbledore waved Harry, Ron, and Hermione away. They were exiting Dumbledore's office (which was now guarded by a marble merman with emeralds emblazoning its fins...but the gargoyle was still there as a secretary) when Ron said, "Why DID we go in the roof?"
"D'know" said Harry, "Next time we're smoking Luna's grass, Ron."
Hermione nodded agreeingly, "This IS our seventh year after all, we don't want to get kicked out NOW."
Harry wrapped an arm around Hermione's waist and said, "So, when we celebrate the end of the year...how should we celebrate?"
Hermione licked her lips and held onto Harry's tie and said, "Maybe some ice cream and cherries...and a whip?"
Ron asked, "Wait, why do you eat ice cream with a whip?"
Harry and Hermione looked at him again with sturdy you're-a-real-nincompoop looks.
They walked off when Ron asked, "Really! I tried it! The leather taste overpowers the ice cream!"
A/N: Review, review, blah, blah, blah.