Disclaimer: Me No Ownies Harry Potties
The Pyre of Herpo
Draco was dancing happily in the hallways, singing the "The hiiiillllss are alliiiive with the sound of fuuuuuuuuckingggg" And a Harry and Hermione were taking a walk down the corridors.
"'Mione, I have a problem..."
Hermione genuinely looked cncerned and asked, "What? Did your pubes get caught in your zipper, again?"
Harry grimaced as he remembered an awful moment and said, "No, no...it's about Ginny."
"Ginny? You never even talk to her!"
"Yeah...well...lets just say she took initiative..."
"Say what? Oh, your reading that vocabulary calender I gave you! Good for you!"
"I have, actually. Well, yesterday at the party, she sort of went hornified on me."
"Horni-what?"
"Her kitty was tickled to raid the fridge."
"Que?"
"SHE WANTED TO FUCK MY BRAINS OUT!!!"
Draco stopped singing, Nearly Headless Nick dropped his head, and Ron was laughing, "Who?"
In that single brief moment in time, Harry was paralyzed.
"C'mon. Who has the hots for your knickers?", asked Ron again.
"Er...er...er...Hermione?"
Ron just said, "Duh! Of course, I should've kno...wait a tick, she was right in front of you when you yelled that out loud."
Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and ran off down a hallway.
"Shite! Now what?"
Draco ran up to Ron wearing his boxers on his head and said, "You know, Ron, I think we ashould get better acquainted now that I'm in Gryffind-"
Ron turned scarlet and yelled, "WHAT?!"
"Thas' right mate, since I'm der only slytherini in the vicinity...I'ze biz in gryffinderz now."
Ron fainted as Draco started dog humping his leg.
---------------------In Potions---------------------
"The proper concotion of the Wiggenweld Potion is a subtle yet sort process. Where wiggentree bark and flobberworm muccus is simmered in a steaming cauldron until it turns green..."
Hermione and Harry just walked in, but Snape hadn't noticed yet...right?
"Good, he's still teaching.", said Harry in a whisper as they slowly walked to the nearest empty table.
Snape never moved his eyesight from the green potion as he said, "Mr. Potter, please demonstrate the proper creation of a wiggenweld potion."
Harry looked like a deer in the headlights as he said, "Er?"
"I presume you and Ms. Granger had a nice time...NOW GET UP HERE!"
Harry slowly edged to the front of the class and Samus mouthed the words, "Your screwed"
Snape wrapped his black robes around himself as he watched Harry reach for essence of horklump mushroom.
Snape smiled.
Harry then diverted his reach to get wiggentree bark.
Snape scowled.
Harry's mnd sped out of control to think of a way to get himself out of this predicame.
"The bloody school is on fire!!!", yelled Ron through the doorway.
All the children ran out of the room and Snape grabbed Harry's shoulder, "This is NOT over."
Harry was released from Snape's hold and ran away.
-------------------------Outside----------------------------
"What in the world happened?", asked McGonagall as she looked at the charred remains of a statue.
"Well, ma'am, we were just passing by and the whole thing exploded with flame!"
Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere, literally, he stepped out of a black room with the sign 'NOWHERE' on top of it, and said, "I believe this is the statue of Herpo the Foul?"
"I don't know...", said McGonagall, but read the bronze title on the base of the statue:
HERPO THE FOUL The creator of the basilisk
"I see, raise the security on the statue of Carlotta Pinkstone.", said Dumbledore.
"What?"
"I have an assumption. Now, go!"
Ron dragged Harry and Hermione over to the now put-out statue and said, "Oh, sod! Its down! I was going to throw crookshanks in there!"
"I don't have a cat anymore, Ron! Remember? It was hit by the giant squi...WWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!! Crooky Shanks is dead!!! WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I'msuddenlyfilledwitholdmemoriesofmeandcrookshanks!!!!"
------------------Flashback-------------------
(It's a Wonderful World plays in the background and the picture's all filtered white)
Crookshanks and I used to ride the swings, we bought a motorcycle and a side car later on for me, I would pet her pussy...hair, and she'd pet my pussy...er...and we'd apparate to Paris for espressos, when I got hammered and gave a wabble job to a hobo she'd be the designated flyer...and vice versa, and all kinds of other crazy stuff.
--------------------Present Time------------------
"(Sniff), well, ashes to ashes and dust to dust...so, what now?", said Hermione.
"We have that new professor next, Tagamo Sakitume?", said Ron as he peered at his schedule.
"I heard he's from the sea turtle clan on the nearby island.", said Hermione.
"I heard he's a sea turtle.", said Harry.
"I can pee without holding my dick.", said Ron, casually picking the dirt out of his fingernails.
Silence.
"Anyways, lets get to the next class.", said Hermione.
Nobody seemed to notice that there was a small sea turtle on the head of the charred statue of Herpo the Foul.
A/N: Review...of course. And I might do a side story when this one's finished of either a documentary of Wizard Government or HNL, with guest hosts and stuff. Or I could just retire and continue writing my book, either way, say it in a review. I love reviews, SO much...oh, and I might make a horror story with Draco seeing things and eventually going nuts...REVIEW! I don't even have another chapter written yet so give me some incentive!
The Pyre of Herpo
Draco was dancing happily in the hallways, singing the "The hiiiillllss are alliiiive with the sound of fuuuuuuuuckingggg" And a Harry and Hermione were taking a walk down the corridors.
"'Mione, I have a problem..."
Hermione genuinely looked cncerned and asked, "What? Did your pubes get caught in your zipper, again?"
Harry grimaced as he remembered an awful moment and said, "No, no...it's about Ginny."
"Ginny? You never even talk to her!"
"Yeah...well...lets just say she took initiative..."
"Say what? Oh, your reading that vocabulary calender I gave you! Good for you!"
"I have, actually. Well, yesterday at the party, she sort of went hornified on me."
"Horni-what?"
"Her kitty was tickled to raid the fridge."
"Que?"
"SHE WANTED TO FUCK MY BRAINS OUT!!!"
Draco stopped singing, Nearly Headless Nick dropped his head, and Ron was laughing, "Who?"
In that single brief moment in time, Harry was paralyzed.
"C'mon. Who has the hots for your knickers?", asked Ron again.
"Er...er...er...Hermione?"
Ron just said, "Duh! Of course, I should've kno...wait a tick, she was right in front of you when you yelled that out loud."
Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and ran off down a hallway.
"Shite! Now what?"
Draco ran up to Ron wearing his boxers on his head and said, "You know, Ron, I think we ashould get better acquainted now that I'm in Gryffind-"
Ron turned scarlet and yelled, "WHAT?!"
"Thas' right mate, since I'm der only slytherini in the vicinity...I'ze biz in gryffinderz now."
Ron fainted as Draco started dog humping his leg.
---------------------In Potions---------------------
"The proper concotion of the Wiggenweld Potion is a subtle yet sort process. Where wiggentree bark and flobberworm muccus is simmered in a steaming cauldron until it turns green..."
Hermione and Harry just walked in, but Snape hadn't noticed yet...right?
"Good, he's still teaching.", said Harry in a whisper as they slowly walked to the nearest empty table.
Snape never moved his eyesight from the green potion as he said, "Mr. Potter, please demonstrate the proper creation of a wiggenweld potion."
Harry looked like a deer in the headlights as he said, "Er?"
"I presume you and Ms. Granger had a nice time...NOW GET UP HERE!"
Harry slowly edged to the front of the class and Samus mouthed the words, "Your screwed"
Snape wrapped his black robes around himself as he watched Harry reach for essence of horklump mushroom.
Snape smiled.
Harry then diverted his reach to get wiggentree bark.
Snape scowled.
Harry's mnd sped out of control to think of a way to get himself out of this predicame.
"The bloody school is on fire!!!", yelled Ron through the doorway.
All the children ran out of the room and Snape grabbed Harry's shoulder, "This is NOT over."
Harry was released from Snape's hold and ran away.
-------------------------Outside----------------------------
"What in the world happened?", asked McGonagall as she looked at the charred remains of a statue.
"Well, ma'am, we were just passing by and the whole thing exploded with flame!"
Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere, literally, he stepped out of a black room with the sign 'NOWHERE' on top of it, and said, "I believe this is the statue of Herpo the Foul?"
"I don't know...", said McGonagall, but read the bronze title on the base of the statue:
HERPO THE FOUL The creator of the basilisk
"I see, raise the security on the statue of Carlotta Pinkstone.", said Dumbledore.
"What?"
"I have an assumption. Now, go!"
Ron dragged Harry and Hermione over to the now put-out statue and said, "Oh, sod! Its down! I was going to throw crookshanks in there!"
"I don't have a cat anymore, Ron! Remember? It was hit by the giant squi...WWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!! Crooky Shanks is dead!!! WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I'msuddenlyfilledwitholdmemoriesofmeandcrookshanks!!!!"
------------------Flashback-------------------
(It's a Wonderful World plays in the background and the picture's all filtered white)
Crookshanks and I used to ride the swings, we bought a motorcycle and a side car later on for me, I would pet her pussy...hair, and she'd pet my pussy...er...and we'd apparate to Paris for espressos, when I got hammered and gave a wabble job to a hobo she'd be the designated flyer...and vice versa, and all kinds of other crazy stuff.
--------------------Present Time------------------
"(Sniff), well, ashes to ashes and dust to dust...so, what now?", said Hermione.
"We have that new professor next, Tagamo Sakitume?", said Ron as he peered at his schedule.
"I heard he's from the sea turtle clan on the nearby island.", said Hermione.
"I heard he's a sea turtle.", said Harry.
"I can pee without holding my dick.", said Ron, casually picking the dirt out of his fingernails.
Silence.
"Anyways, lets get to the next class.", said Hermione.
Nobody seemed to notice that there was a small sea turtle on the head of the charred statue of Herpo the Foul.
A/N: Review...of course. And I might do a side story when this one's finished of either a documentary of Wizard Government or HNL, with guest hosts and stuff. Or I could just retire and continue writing my book, either way, say it in a review. I love reviews, SO much...oh, and I might make a horror story with Draco seeing things and eventually going nuts...REVIEW! I don't even have another chapter written yet so give me some incentive!