Don't own them!
Happy reading everyone!
AN: British / North American Dictionary (Or any other language)
If you haven't heard of this particular nursery rhyme – you were a neglected child.
Unforgettable, In Every Way
Part XVIII – In Which Lily Opens her Mouth and Inserts Her Foot"Peeves," Hermione spat, crossing her arms without shifting her grasp on her newly-acquired book, "Does the Bloody-Baron know that you're here?" Peeves visibly paled, going ever whiter than usual, but then he grinned cheekily, letting out a cackle.
How did she know the names of the Hogwarts ghosts? I thought to myself.
Peeves then looked straight into my eyes, "Surprisingly good for a student that has only a few years at Hogwarts, compared to a poltergeist as my self with 592 years of experience."
I was completely stunned, Peeves complementing me without throwing water filled balloons at me or some food at my face? Unheard of.
"Um thanks. . . I think." I stared at Peeves as if he had grown another head. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Hermione doing the same thing, with her mouth slightly open.
"Great to meet you, must get your autograph," He grabbed my hand and pumped it up and down enough times for me to think that my arm had turned to jelly as I was trying to extricate my hand from his (how did a ghost – or poltergeist – hold a person's hand, wouldn't it just go through theirs?) I was met with a face full of jelly.
"PEEVES!" I screeched, pulling my hand out of his and scraping the blackcurrant jelly off my face.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! He, he, he, he, he, he. . . he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he!"
From what I could see, Peeves was roaring in mid-air, holding his stomach and doing back flips, tears of mirth rolling down his face. He looked down at me again and his features turned into a smirk. I really wanted to do something to wipe that expression off his face.
Wipe?
"Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
I could feel a smirk blossoming on my face and Hermione moved off to a safe difference looking slightly worried, hugging her book against her chest.
Just as Peeves opened his eyes to look at his handy-work again and dissolve into laughter again, I smeared the thick dark-purple spread across his face.
"Ha, ha, ha – ah! What?! You, you. . . I'll get you Evans! Just you wait!" He started drifting towards the ceiling as he ranted, glaring down at me. Suddenly, his face turned thoughtful, "Actually, I think that I might just tell Fudge exactly who knocked his books off the shelf in his precious library!"
"You do that Peeves, and the Marauders won't help you with your pranks!" A voice sounding exactly like James' called from behind me.
"Like I need your help – armatures!" Peeves almost disappeared through the stone roof, but stopped short at what James next said.
"Well, what if we told Fudge that it was you who knocked all the books off?"
"You really think that he would believe the Marauders?" Peeves mocked from his height.
"Ah," Remus joined in, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, "But Fudge graduated from Hogwarts at least ten years ago, he wouldn't have heard of us Marauders."
"As much as it pains us that he hasn't been informed of our exploits. . ." Peter joined in, somehow acquiring a chocolate éclair and munching on it as he was speaking.
"Do you really think that he would trust us 'upstanding' students compared to the poltergeist that he knew was a pain from when he was at Hogwarts himself?" Sirius finished for Peter mocking right back, the same facial expression as on Peeves' own face.
Glowering, Peeves relented, "You're off the hook this time Evans, but I'm sure that I can dig up something to get you in trouble." With that, he zoomed through the wall, dropping a dung-bomb as he left.
In horror, the six of us stood frozen, watching the dung-bomb fall in slow motion towards us until…
"Ah!"
"Dung-bomb!"
"Everyone drop!"
We threw ourselves behind chairs and below the long wooden tables, not wanting the brown package to drop on us and cover us with dung smell for the rest of the day. Somehow, James and I ended up crouched below the same end of the table, squashed together:
"You're strangling me!"
"That's my robe that you're sitting on!"
"Well your hand's caught in my hair and is pulling it out of my scalp!"
"No! Don't put your hand there – ouch!"
"Sorry!"
"Hey – get off me!"
"I can't! My hair's stuck to your top button!"
"Well what am I supposed to do about that?"
"Get it unstuck!"
"I can't, you're lying on top of me and my hands are pinned underneath!"
"Well, whose fault is that? Hum?"
"Yours!"
"It is not!"
"Yes it is! I was under here first!"
I suddenly realised what we were arguing about and dissolved into laughter. It seemed to be contagious, because soon James was joining in as well. His chest, with my head stuck to with hair caught on a button, started to jump up and down with laughter. The sound echoed in his lungs, which I unfortunately had my ear pressed to.
"Ow! You're yanking my hair!"
"S- sorry!" I could tell that James was trying to contain his mirth, but it still hurt my scalp.
"My hair's probably even more stuck than it was before!" I protested, slowly turning my head to glare at him. "Oh!" I hadn't quite realised how close we were to each other.
"Em, hi." James didn't quite know what to say.
"Hi yourself," I smiled back at him, suddenly very shy.
Somehow, I don't know quite how it happened… I. . . we. . . almost kissed. Would I have actually kissed him? What would have happened if I had? Would he have kissed me back? I'm not quite sure because at that moment:
"Angie, sir and miss, says that it is safe to come out now! Angie got rid of nasty thing Master Peeves left. Nasty thing!" a small, shrill voice interrupted us, "Oh! So sorry, sir and miss for interrupting! Angie so sorry!"
"Sir and ma'am? Oy, James! What are you doing under that table?" Sirius teased, the sound of his footsteps quickly coming closer. Startled, I abruptly pulled up and away from James.
"Ow!" My hair stretched and snapped away from James' top button, still leaving some trailing strands connected. Trying to not be caught in this. . . embarrassing position, I tried to get up quickly so that I could crawl out from under the table.
"Lily, watch your –"
"Ow!" My head slammed into the thick wooden table, causing me to become disorientated for a second.
"Head." James finished weekly. He then cleared a space for us to crawl out, shoving benches and chairs away. I crawled out with one hand, the other holding my bruised head.
"Ooooo! Now we know what you were doing under there!" Sirius grinned, his hands on his hips in the middle of the hall, Peter and Remus crawling out from behind chairs and under tables behind him.
"James and Li-ily under a table," Peter started chanting.
"K I S S I N G!" Remus continued, a grin threatening to split his face.
"First comes loooove," Sirius smirked. I could feel my face heating up, the redness crawling up my neck. A quick glance at James showed that he was having the same problem.
"Second comes marriage," Peter added.
"Third comes a baby in a baby carriage!" Sirius finished, accompanied by another. . . girls voice.
"H- Hermione!" I spluttered, shocked. "You. . . you traitor!" I whirled and pointed an accusing finger at her, a small grin on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. She reminded me of Professor Dumbledore when he knew something that you didn't. "I- I happen to have a- a boyfriend!"
She looked shocked, "What? You and James aren't – oh. Kerr Greenwood." She looked entirely unenthusiastic. Not that I could blame her, since that was exactly what I was thinking about him myself.
That simple name put a stopper on our conversation.
"Angie have food that sirs wanted," a small voice peeped up, at once drawing all our attention.
"Food!" Peter exclaimed with such emotion that I couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks Angie."
"Angie bring food for miss'?" Her wide blue eyes questioned Hermione and me.
"No thanks Angie, it's only. . ." I check my watch. "It's only ten minutes until tea!"
"Ya, and. . ." Remus prompted me, daintily shoving a whole chocolate éclair into his mouth in one go.
"We're growing boys!" James exclaimed as he grabbed his share of éclair, cream dripping out, but he caught it in the other hand. "We need our food!"
Peter grunted his agreement.
With a sigh and an exasperated, "Boys!" I turned and was shocked. Again. I seem to be making a habit of being shocked.
"Are you sure that you wouldn't like to be free, with wages? Holidays?" Hermione was questioning Angie, who was fearfully backing up, her eyes wide. "Clothes?" At that word, Angie let out a piercing scream and disappeared into the kitchen.
"Hermione," I accused, wondering what she could have possibly done to warrant that response, "What did you do to Angie? You scared her!"
At that moment, Angie appeared again with a basket of food in her hand and an army of House-elves splayed at her back. "Here is food for miss'!" She forced me to take the basket and they physically shoved us out the door. I whirled and there was the portrait of a bowl of fruit, the pear slowly morphing from a door handle into a pear again.
"Obviously we're not wanted." I murmured, the rounded on Hermione, "What did you say to Angie, Hermione?!"
"It's not fair that House-elves are treated like slaves!" She defended as we walked to the Great Hall for tea. She then seemed to abruptly switch subjects, for which I was grateful. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. "Would you like to join SPEW?"
Lost me again. "Ok, what is SPEW?"
"Well!" Hermione started, with great enthusiasm, "SPEW, is the short name for Society for the Protection of –"
"Lily!" Karen jogged up to join Hermione and me, frantically waiving, "Lily!" She slammed into me, hugging me in a death-grip and grinning.
"Need. . . to. . . breathe!" I gasped out, catching a glimpse of Hermione's amused face over Karen's shoulder.
"Really?" Karen asked, pretending to be shocked, "I thought that you didn't have to breathe, which is how you possess the amazing ability to talk non-stop until Carley and I fall asleep."
"Hey!" I mock punched her, "You never fell asleep listening to me! If anything, I fell asleep when you talk about the Mr-high-and-mighty Greg Towns and his new fiancé Selina Rocher."
"Greg and Selina are engaged?" Karen squealed, clapping her hands, "When did you hear about this? When are they getting married? Where are they tying the knot? What is she going to wear? Oooo! I can't wait for the pictures!" She spun me around, for some reason. "If Greg Towns looks mouth-watering in normal clothes, Lily, just imagine what he'll look like in a tux!" She was fairly skipping as we continued our way to the Great Hall.
"You can tell that she likes him." I murmured with a grin to Hermione, who looked like she was feeling left out.
"Who's Greg Towns?" She whispered back.
"Oh! I forgot that you wouldn't know who he was in your. . . well, you know," I paused, wondering what to say so that she wouldn't get bored if I went through the whole of his life. "Greg Towns is a Wizard Pop Star, like the Beatles in the Muggle world I guess. Selina Rocher has been his on-off girlfriend for over a year now – as soon as their split breaks the headlines, they're back together. And Karen had this crazed obsession with him. I honestly think that if she weren't restricted to Hogwarts grounds and the occasional Hogsmead's trip, she would be stalking him at this very minute."
"Right. I think that I understand. . .Is he the one that won the award for the nicest smile?" She questioned.
"I don't know, you tell me." I smirked at her, " After all, you are from the –"
"Just an innocent question, Lily," Karen interrupted, looking between narrowed eyes at Hermione, "Who is she?"
"She?" I repeated, confused for a second. "Oh! You mean Hermione! Hermione, this is one of my best friends, Karen. Karen, this is Hermione. Hermione's a. . . um. . . Well, Hermione, why don't you tell Karen why you came so late in this semester. . ." I prompted, because I have no idea what you used as a cover story, and anything that I could thin up on the spot wouldn't be even the remotest bit plausible. I thought to myself.
"Well, it's only been two months into the school year, Lily." Hermione protested nervously. I could feel my easy smile beginning to get forced.
"Cover story, cover story. . ." I muttered to her out of the side of my mouth, noticing that we had stopped walking.
"Oh! I'm. . . ah. . . an exchange student from Durmstrang! Yes, I am – and. . . erm. . . Lily and I are pen palls and when the headmasters offered for me to go on an exchange to Hogwarts, I jumped at the chance! Isn't that right Lily?" The question came out a bit forced, as if Hermione was trying to get the attention off her and decided to foster it off on to me. Thanks Hermione.
"Lily? You have a pen pall?" Karen asked, gleam in her eyes. Why did I suddenly feel nervous?
"Oh, you mean that I never mentioned Hermione to you?" I giggled a little, but it was too high pitched. Wincing, I continued, "It must have completely slipped my mind!" I grabbed both their arms and started to drag them towards the Great Hall.
"So, Hermione. . ." Karen started. Oh, this is great! Karen doesn't suspect a thing! I thought with satisfaction. "Well, what year are you in?"
"Oh, in the same year as you." Hermione smiled brightly, trying to be friendly.
"And how long have you and Lily been communicating with each other?" Karen prompted.
"One year!" I intercepted.
"Two years!" Hermione exclaimed at the same time.
There was a pause, and then:
"Two years." I corrected myself with a laugh.
"One year!" Hermione tried to do the same.
"We mean two years, but it only seems like one." I forced a laugh out, "What, Karen, is this how you get new people to like you? Cross-examine them?"
Karen ignored me and I could feel the smile slipping off my face. Hermione must have caught my expression because she started to look slightly worried.
"At Durmstrang you must have had those heavy robes." Hermione nodded hesitantly, "Tell me. . . are they as comfortable as these robes?"
"Oh, not nearly!" Hermione said with a laugh. I could only hope that she was right. "They're fine for the temperature, but anything else. . ." She trailed off, I think hoping that Karen's own knowledge filling in where she had left off. Karen nodded, as if conforming something. I dared not breathe a sigh of relief just yet.
"So, while you were at Durmstrang, you must have met the Krum brothers?"
"Of course she has!" I tried to help out. Not fair to leave Hermione alone to defend herself against Karen. "They're famous at Quittich, aren't they?" That I could remember, but what information slipped my mind was whether they were actually at Durmstrang, Beauxbaton, or had already graduated.
"Oh, of course!" Hermione took her prompting from me, "We regularly see them playing Quittich."
Karen mulishly stopped walking and I had to sing around in the corridor to face her. The expression on her face was open hostility.
"Uh-oh." I muttered weakly.
~*~*~*~
Response to Reviews:
Special thanks to: Jessie xxx, oAngel85o, fishnetfairy, ACrazyTeenager2005, ping*pong5, Swishy Willow Wand, Padfoot Hoshi, a, LisBleu, MilesFromNormal, missprongs, Girl number 1, legolaslover, Talamh and Hannah.
Thank you sooooooooo much – it's fairly likely that I wouldn't have gotten up off my arse and posted the last chapter if not for the guilty feeling that I would have had if I had let you down…
Chapter 17 Response:
Padfoot Hoshi: Thanks for the sig – it's great!
Julia Aleigha Emrys: Oh no. . . please tell me that I haven't got one of those people that are fanatics about grammar. . . groan – grammar's going to be my downfall one of these days. But it's be great for you to edit – my life's savior!
Lil Bazza: Err. . . Hermione was supposed to stay in character. . . but she seems to have taken on a life of her own. Glad that you like her!
Musicizdbest: Of course this fic is crazy – it's my specialty!
Rowan the Green Eyed Cat: Did I really call bangs fringes?! Argh! Noooo! I've started to be assimilated but the British – noooo! Thanks though for the heads up though – can you tell me which chapter it was in?
fishnetfairy: Oy, you. Don't you DARE take my Fudge thing – or I will honestly make your school life a living hell!
missprongs: Ya, Peeves is a handy thing isn't he. . .
LisBleu: I honestly think that I've got blisters on my fingers from writing so fast – please be patient?
Jessie xxx: Thanks for the review!
Twilight66: Well, as you can tell from this chapter – James' bright and perky today! And not just because of some red-haired girl we all know and love!
Mars : It's not just me that downloads fics and reads them while traveling and when we don't have internet connection! Phew! I though that I was the only sane one around here! Glad to know that I'm not the only one!
khel-shaye: Updating – updating! BTW: Have I seen you before? Could have been mentioned in some response thing. . . hummmm.
Swishy Willow Wand: Ahhh – a faithful reviewer! A cookie for you!
~*~*~*~
Well, I can honestly say that I think that I've failed my English Standard Grade exams!
The oddest thing is that I couldn't really care less. . .
R & R please!