AN: Another chapter! Yay! Just for the record, the prank chapters will be spread out. Remember, Gohan's got four months to play pranks on Vegeta, so we have plenty of time to squeeze all of them in. Kay? I don't own DBZ. Any questions? Didn't think so ^^
Chapter Twelve—Bookbag Blues
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
-"Forgive, O Lord," by Robert Frost
It had finally happened. After managing to put it off for so long, Gohan had finally been given an ultimatum by his mother. He had two options: go retrieve his school books and things from where he had so carelessly left them on Master Roshi's island…or die.
Not a difficult choice, really.
So here he was, en route to the Kame House, and enjoying every second of it.
Gohan was alone, and he had already decided that he had plenty of time, so did what any normal child in his position would do: he was goofing off. Dipping down into the ocean waters, then pulling back up to soar above the clouds before diving again; spinning little loop de loops n the air; chasing sea birds...in short, Gohan had given himself over to being a kid.
At least, he did when no one was around to see him. Otherwise, they would probably think he was crazy or something. Heaven forbid he act like a maniac or anything.
But all too soon, the gaudy pink house came into view, the word Kame blazoned across it in bold red letters. He heaved a heavy sigh at having to momentarily abandon his fun and act his age. Um...his mental age, anyway.
He landed in the sand and happily skipped across the beach, kicking sand up into the air in little clouds. Then, for no real reason, he started doing cartwheels and singing. Singing very loudly. At the top of his lungs, in fact.
The problem was that Gohan, like his father before him and like most of his friends, had no sense of pitch at all, and his current voice, that Kami awful childish soprano, was strongly reminiscient of nails screeching across a chalkboard. Amplified to full volume, it resulted in a racket that would have made Piccolo gladly rip his ears off.
"Hey!" Krillen called as he came running out of the house, hands clasped tightly over his ears. "What are you doing?!?
Gohan stopped, spun around, and put one hand behind his head in the classic gesture of embarassment embraced by all Son males. He waved sheepishly with his other hand. "Oh...h-hey, Krillen. Sorry 'bout that. What's up?"
Before Krillen could respond, Number Eighteen appeared in the doorway behind him, leading Marron by the hand. "Did you put that animal out of its misery?"
"Eighteen, it was just Gohan," Krillen replied.
The blonde woman didn't miss a beat; she didn't even blink. "So did you put it out of its misery?"
"Hey!" Gohan cried indignantly.
"Tempting, but no," Krillen said with a cheesy grin on his face. "By the way, Gohan, like the hair. It's a definite improvement."
"Goten cut it while I was asleep," the chibi supplied. "Mom wasn't too happy about that."
By now, Yamcha, Master Roshi, and the two shape shifting animals had also appeared, and everyone had converged on the front porch. Roshi leaved heavily on his staff and said, "So did you just stop by to say hello?"
"Actually, I'm looking for my school stuff. I think I left it here when I came by to tell you guys what had happened to me."
"Yeah, we found it. We thought that stuff was yours," Yamcha nodded. "You left it on the beach. We took it inside. Figured you'd be back for it soon enough, if your mother had anything to say about it."
"Mind if I hang out here for a while?" Gohan asked.
"No problem," Roshi replied. After all, it was technically his house!
Marron chose that moment to pull her hand free of her mother's and run down across the beach. She threw her arms around Gohan's neck and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.
While Krillen and Number Eighteen both lost their jaws, Gohan felt all the blood in his body rush to his face, turning it a very bright shade of red. He tried to pry her off as gently as he could, but she wouldn't let go! For a three year old human, she had one HFIL of a grip!
Surprise quickly turned to panic, and Gohan started making little whimpering noises in the back of his throat. Oh, this was not happening!
"He's my sweet baboo!" Marron proclaimed happily.
"I am NOT your sweet baboo!" Gohan protested, struggling against the little girl's grasp. (AN: My tribute to one of the great geniuses of our time, Charles Schulz. Snoopy is my hero ^^)
On the porch, most of the adults were laughing their heads off. Yamcha had tears coming out of his eyes. Even Krillen and Eighteen, who had both recovered their lower jaws, were cracking smiles, though they did their very best to appear far less than amused.
Gohan looked at his friends desperately. "Please...help me...get her off...please..."
Of all the people on that island who could have taken pity on Gohan, Eighteen was the one who walked forward and pried her daughter off of Gohan; she scooped up the giggling blonde girl and waited for Gohan's torture to begin.
It did; Krillen walked down onto the beach and stopped right in front of Gohan, arms folded, expression stern. "Gohan, I don't believe it. Are you seducing my daughter, young man?"
Gohan visibly panicked. "No...no way!"
"Oh, so she's not good enough for you, is that it?" Krillen growled, taking a threatening step forward and cracking his knuckles ominously.
"No...I mean, yes...I mean....oh, man..." Gohan stuttered. He knew that there were very few things on Earth that rivaled a father's protectiveness of his daughter, and the chibi felt about ready to either run for his life or burst into tears on the spot.
Suddenly, a huge grin broke on Krillen's face, and he laughed. "You should have seen the look on your face, kid! Man, that was priceless! You thought I was serious!"
Gohan was flooded by undescribable relief. "Whew...I'm gonna get you for that."
"Yeah, right," Yamcha gasped, clutching at his stomach. "Oh man, it hurts!"
"Shut up," Gohan frowned sourly.
"Ah, don't be sore. Come on in," Krillen walked back towards the house, still laughing.
Gohan followed; about two steps away from the porch steps, he turned and looked at Eighteen, who was still standing in the sand, smirking, and Marron, who was still in her mother's arms.
The little blonde girl blew him a kiss.
Gohan swallowed hard and dove into the house.
Marron giggled and leaned her head against her mother's shoulder. "Isn't he the cutest thing?" the little girl said dreamily.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gohan tried to listen to something Master Roshi was saying, but he didn't really hear it. Not that it mattered. Chances were that whatever was being said wasn't appropriate for his ears anyway.
Instead, his thoughts were wondering, and he had very little control over them. The topic his thoughts chose to dwell on? Videl and the prom situation, of course. No matter how he looked at it, there just wasn't any easy, logical solution to that problem. At least, no answer that would let him go to the dance. He'd already pretty much resigned himself to just not going.
"Hey, bro," Krillen said, snapping his fingers in front of Gohan's blank eyes. "You in there?"
"Huh?" Gohan shook himself from his reverie and blinked at the former monk. "Sorry, I wasn't really listening. Did you say something?"
"Just wanted to know where you were, that's all," Krillen said. "What are you thinking about?"
Gohan sighed. "Prom."
The grin disappeared from Krillen's face. "What about it?"
"It's in less than a month," the chibi said, suddenly hopeful that maybe one of them would have an idea. "I was gonna go with Videl, but...well, I don't think that's gonna happen anymore."
Yamcha let out a low whistle.
"It's okay," Gohan shrugged. "No problem. I'm not much of a dance person anyway."
That was baloney, and they knew it. He wanted to go, but he couldn't, and he was just playing it down so nobody would feel sorry for him. Too late on that count. They already felt bad for him.
Realizing that they were still sending him sympathetic looks, he forced a grin onto his face. "Hey, you have to hear about the prank Goten and Trunks and I pulled yesterday. On Vegeta!"
By the time he finished describing how Vegeta had run around the yard, failing in an attempt to claw his eyes out, the entire room was in stitches.
A short time later, Gohan left, bookbag slung over his shoulder. He paused in the air and waved one more time before taking off.
As the residents of the Kame House turned to leave, the Voice of Doom came from the sky. "There had better not be anything in that bag that's not supposed to be there!" ChiChi's voice warned.
Yamcha swallowed hard. "Oh, man...how does she do that?"
"What do you mean?" Puar asked suspiciously. "What did you put in there?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The sun was setting by the time Gohan landed in his front yard. He had enjoyed his flight back, even if he hadn't been able to dive in the ocean again. His books had already gotten soaked once, and he was pretty sure his mother would attempt to skin him alive for that crime.
He walked inside, and passed the kitchen on his way to his room. "Hey, Mom, I'm back."
"Hi, sweetie. Go study," she said automatically.
With a sigh, Gohan went to obey.
In the safety of his bedroom, he tossed the bookbag on the desk and pulled up his chair. Might as well get something done. Then maybe his mother would let him go outside for a while and play with Goten.
He opened the flap of his bag and reached in. But when he pulled out his Advanced Calculus book (which was in fairly decent condition, considering that during one of his earlier flights to Master Roshi's island it had enjoyed a nice bath in fresh sea water), something else came out with it. Something that didn't belong to Gohan.
Something with some very...um, interesting pictures on the front.
Gohan's eyes grew very wide, and his curiousity grew as well. Unable to help himself, he swallowed hard and started flipping pages. With each new page, his eyes grew wider and wider until he had no face anymore–just two wide, round eyes, goggling at the pictures on the page of this magazine that had appeared in his bookbag.
"Gohan?" ChiChi said from the hallway. "What are you working on?"
With a blink, his eyes returned to their normal size. Thinking fast, he flipped the covers of the magazine together and shoved it into his bag before flinging open the Calculus book and looking at it, as if he'd been studying it the whole time.
His mother opened the door and came in. "Everything all right?"
"Yes, Mom," he said like the good little boy he was pretending to be.
"Let me look at your books," she said. "I want to make sure they're all right, since you so carelessly let them get wet." He tried to protest, but she gave him the evil eye, and he immediately shrank into himself, waiting for the axe to fall.
It fell, but not on him.
"WHAT THE–" ChiChi started to shriek, but she stopped herself. With a deep breath, she managed to calm herself down enough to ask, "What...is...this?" She held up the magazine that Gohan had found so *ahem* fascinating.
"Uh...I have no idea," Gohan improvised. "Never saw that thing before."
ChiChi made a few unintelligable noises under her breath, then said in a voice that was too calm, "Gohan, keep studying, sweetie. I have to run out for a few minutes."
With that, she swept out of the room before Gohan could protest. Seconds later, the front door slammed shut, and the chibi winced. He spun around and looked out the window. Sure enough, she had her prized possession with her, clenched tightly in her hand. The Almighty Frying Pan of Doom and Terror.
Kami speed, guys, Gohan thought towards his friends on the island.
As far as Gohan knew, they were doomed. All of them. All of his friends on that island were in terribly grave danger, as they would only discover when it was too late.
ChiChi returned a long while later, long after dark. She looked much happier, and her frying pan had several new dents in it. "There. Taken care of."
AN: Heeheehee...couldn't resist. Next chapter up soon! And hey, thanks to everyone who's sending me all these wonderful ideas for things to put in this story! Trust me, this fic has already gained about eleven chapters, just from suggestions people have given me. Awesome, I love ya all!!!
Next time, on "Once Upon a Chibi," ChiChi forces Gohan and Goten to participate in the most dangerous activity known to males on the planet Earth. You'll see…
Candyland's Fic Pick:
Title: The Underwear Affair
Author: Absolut Angel
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor/Romance
ID No: 1313804
Summary: Gohan and Videl's romance…with a twist. Trust me, if you aren't rolling around on the floor with laughter by the end of this one-shot, then there's something wrong with you. Starts right after the Buu saga, when Majin Buu moves in with Hercule, and goes downhill from there. Includes romance, humor, and, of course, chaos. Put it this way: Goten + Trunks + capsulized car + swimming pool…need I say more? Didn't think so. By my powers as the Supreme Overlord of the Word Processer, read this fic!