AN: Yay! Back! Sorry this took so long. Whew…I had to rearrange few things in my outline. Not fun, believe you me. And to top it all off, I had a grand total of three tests today: one AP English, and two CLEP tests. Brain…short…circuiting… But wow! Over two hundred reviews!!!!! I love you guys!!!! It's weird, 'cause I'm not primarily a humor writer ^^
But anyway, I have to once again offer up my sincere thanks to Angel Wings, who is essentially writing this story ^^ Sometimes I wonder why I don't just let you guys take over…but she gave me an awesome idea that I combined with one of my own thoughts to make the chapter you're about to read. Enjoy! I don't own DBZ, and I don't own any malls or anything.
Chapter Thirteen—Shopping with Mom
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
-"Forgive, O Lord," by Robert Frost
As the sun rose, its light penetrated the open window and fell across the face of a small child asleep on a bed. The covers were tossed about haphazardly, as though the child had spent a night of very restless slumber.
Beneath the weight of the sunlight, the small face contorted; the eyes squeezed even more tightly shut, and finally, the kid just gave up…and rolled over, so the sun was on his back instead of his face.
Mr. Sun was not very happy about that. He wanted that kid up! So, he moved subtly, allowing his bright rays of light to reflect off a mirror, sending a beam of sunlight to hit the kid right in the face. After a few minutes, the chibi just gave up and allowed himself to be awakened. Satisfied, Mr. Sun resumed his normal movement across the azure sky.
Gohan finally jumped out of bed. Yawning and stretching, he pulled on his standard blue-purple gi and bright red wristbands.
Since he'd been changed back to a kid, that outfit was really all he had to wear. His mother had made a few comments to the effect that she wanted him to wear something other than his "Kami awful training clothes." Fortunately, he'd been able to con Piccolo into zapping him up a fresh outfit whenever he asked. He'd just stuck with the gi because it was comfortable. Truth be told, he was kind of waiting for his mother to do something about it.
Humming cheerfully under his breath, Gohan skipped down the hallway to the kitchen. The smell of breakfast—perfectly grilled pancakes and hot, sizzling bacon—assailed his senses. His inner Saiyan was doing little victory jigs within him at the promise of food.
But as soon as he set foot in the kitchen, his good mood dropped righ tinto his shoes. For starters, his brother was rubbing his head as though it ached. His mother had her prized Frying Pan of Doom and Terror lofted high in one hand, preparing for yet another strike if the need should arise. Her face was drawn back into a tight frown.
"Son Goten," she said in a warning tone of voice, "if I've told you once, I've told you a million times—wait for your brother to get here before you start eating!"
"But I'm hungry!" Goten whined in protest; then his eyes lighted on the chibi in the doorway. "And Gohan is here! Can I eat now?"
ChiChi whirled around; the frying pan disappeared from her hand, having been magically returned to her astral pocket where it could enjoy the company of the rest of her arsenal of machine guns, grenades, bazookas, throwing knives, and spatulas.
Gohan unconsciously let out a sigh of relief at the removal of the Frying Pan of Death. Out of sight, out of mind, right? "Morning, mom."
"Good morning, sweetie…" her voice trailed off as her frown returned. Her eyes followed Gohan like a hawk as he took his seat at the table. "Gohan, why are you wearing that outift again?"
He swallowed hard and looked down at his lap, where he was twiddling his thumbs. "Uh…well…ya see, Mom…"
"Brother's in trouble, brother's in trouble," Goten was singsonging softly across the table.
ChiChi tapped her foot impatiently, and her eyes narrowed. "Well? I'm waiting!"
"I…I actually don't have anything else. I just got Piccolo to zap me up a new one every day," Gohan sighed, bracing himself for what he was sure was coming—namely, a frying pan making hard contact with his skull.
The jarring impact didn't come. Instead, ChiChi sternly said, "Were ever going to tell me about this, young man?"
"Uh…eventualy?" he said hopefully.
After a moment, she sighed. "Well, we'll just have to do something about it. We're going shopping today, as soon as you're done with breakfast."
Gohan stifled a groan. Shopping with his mother—probably the single most dangerous sport known to males on the planet Earth. The chibi remembered the times when as a child (the first time around) when he and his father had been taken on shopping trips with his mother, and the inevitable suffering that had come about as a result of those trips. Like the time those androids had shown up and blown the mall up right under them (AN: The Android 13 movie). Gohan shuddered. Oh, this wasn't looking good.
"Do I have to go too?" Goten asked between shoveling in bites of pancakes and bacon.
ChiChi paused. Taking two children shopping out for clothes was enough to make even the toughest mother cringe. And then when one considered that the two children were the same age, and both half Saiyan…it was enough to make any mother break down and cry. The thought of leaving Goten at home seemed very appealing when viewed under that light. But then she blanched, remembering what her younger son was like. If she left him alone, there was no telling what kind of damage he might cause. In the first ten minutes alone, he would probably manage to devour every ounce of food in the house, set his bed on fire, kill their lawn and half their trees, and open up a doorway to a parallel dimension. Nope, that just wasn't a good idea at all.
"Yes, you do," she said finally.
Goten opened his mouth in preparation for protest, but ChiChi wisely set another plate full of food in front of the chibi. Goten did the only thing a son of Goku could do: he forgot about everything except the promise of edibles that had been laid before him.
Having handled her younger son with a mother's praticed ease, she returned her attention to the older. "Go change into something presentable."
"But…I don't have anything else," Gohan said, the famous 'Son look of confusion' painting itself quite nicely across his face. "Unless you want me to go find Piccolo."
"Borrow something from your brother," ChiChi replied withou missing a beat. "You two are about the same size. It'll be fine."
Gohan and Goten exchanged a look of mild disdain, but knew that any arguments would be futile. Still, the thought of sharing clothes somehow just seemed…wrong.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I can't believe I'm wearing my little brother's clothes," Gohan muttered from his perch on his brother's bed. "I just can't believe it."
Goten looked back over his shoulder. "What do you want, exactly?"
"Something comfortable that fits me," Gohan replied offhandedly.
Goten shrugged and resumed digging through his closet. After a minute, he withdrew and tossed something across the room towards his brother. "Here ya go. Catch!"
Unfortunately, Goten's aim was a little off, and the clothing he had thrown managed to land right on top of Gohan's head. The older brother yanked the clothing off of his head and looked at it. Green pants and a bright yellow shirt.
Gohan's nose wrinkled a little bit. "Uh…maybe you could just loan me a gi?"
Goten let out a dramatic sigh and muttered something about being too picky. Seconds later, something orange and blue went airborne and, as before, landed gracefully on Gohan's head.
"You're doing that on purpose!" Gohan accused loudly from beneath a long sleeved blue shirt.
Goten giggled. "Maybe, maybe—ACK!" He was cut off as he was unceremoniously hit in the face by a flying pillow. When he got back up, he glared across the room at his brother, who was holding another pillow, poised, primed, and ready to strike; there was a demonic glint in Gohan's eye that Goten had come to admire over the past few weeks. Gohan had gone from being a sweet, retractable, obedient teenager to a crafty, pranking demon of a chibi, and Goten had suddenly found himself with a new respect for his brother. According to nearly everyone, Gohan definitely hadn't been like this the first time around!
Smirking, Goten picked up the pillow that had hit him and raised it. "Okay, brother. If that's how you want to play—" He stopped in midsentence as another down filled missile was launched at his head.
Thus, the Great Saturday Morning Pillow Brawl began.
Unfortuantely, the Great Saturday Morning Pillow Brawl was cut rather short. It ended when ChiChi appeared in the room and *ahem* forcibly seperated them. When she exited the room, each of her children was sporting a shiny new lump on his head.
Quickly, Gohan pulled on the gi his little brother had lent him. It was orange and blue, exactly like the one their father had always favored. It was actually a pretty close fit.
The two chibis then engaged in a race down to the kitchen where they hoped to gain the approval of the family matriarch. They managed to raise quite a racket on the way there, and their race ended when one of them tripped over the other and they both ended up somersaulting over each other through the door and landing flat on the floor.
At the clatter that announced their arrival, ChiChi turned a measuring eye on the two boys who were picking themselves up off of the tiled kitchen floor. Once on their feet, they stood side by side, fidgeting nervously beneath her gaze.
Her eyes widened a tiny bit, almost imperceptibly. Her two sons, both exactly the same age and size, wearing exactly the same outfit, peering up at her through two identical pairs of nervous, night colored eyes…well, there were a few words to describe that particular sight.
Unsettling. Unnerving. Disturbing. Frightening.
But with the ease of a mother who has seen just about everything, she regained herself and merely nodded. "Good. Much better. Let's go."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Goten sat on the uncomfortably hard chair and looked around. Seeing nothing much of interest to study, he squirmed in acute discomfort and finally tugged on his mother's sleeve, asking, "Mommy, how much longer do I hafta sit here?"
"When your brother's done," ChiChi replied.
With an aggravated sigh, the chibi folded his arms and pouted. Maybe when he'd wished that Gohan was a kid again, he should have wished that Gohan's wardrobe came back too. Then he wouldn't be stuck here in this mess.
The fitting room door opened, and a mountain of clothing appeared, supported by two short legs. Gohan's face was entirely obscured by the enormous stack of garments he was carrying. "Uh, Mom? Is all this really necessary for just a couple months?"
"Yes," she said shortly. "We'll just give them to Goten when we wish you back to your normal age." Goten rolled his eyes at this, but she proved quite adept at ignoring him. "So all of these work?"
"Yup," Gohan answered, though his voice was very muffled because of the clothing he was holding. The most surprising thing about this day so far was that his mother hadn't made very many protests about him looking almost exclusively at gis. Not that he'd have much occasion to wear much of anything else, really. But as per his mother's wishes, he was also investing in a couple of nice outfits too.
While his mother was busily getting things rung up at the cash register, Gohan found himself floating in the same boat as his brother: extreme and utter boredom. And ChiChi didn't seem to be paying much attention to them…
As though they were reading each other's minds, both chibis grinned.
But Gohan briefly resisted. What was happening to him? He'd never been one to misbehave! Never! And yet here he was, a month into his imprisonment in his childhood body, and he'd done nothing but get in trouble. It was as if the state of his body was actually leaking into his head and poisoning his mind. And he'd already had several warnings from both his mother and Vegeta with regards to his sudden knack for pranking. If he did it again, he would die a horribly painful death at the hands of ki blasts and frying pans, and he would never be himself again.
Aw, what was life without a little risk?
No fun, that was what.
Carefully, silently, the two children tiptoed away from their mother in search of trouble and adventure. What adventure there was to be found at the West City shopping mall, they didn't exactly know. But hey, they were half Saiyan. If they couldn't find adventure, they would just have to make some. And they knew for sure that such a place as a mall packed with people on a Saturday afternoon provided plenty of opportunities to cause and encourage mischief and mayhem.
The two sneaky chibis snuck out of the store into the wide, high ceilinged corrider from which the dozens and dozens of stores sprouted. There were literally hundreds of people milling around, mostly adults and teenagers. Gohan saw a few people he recognized from his school—girls, mostly.
Please don't let them notice me…please don't let them notice me… he prayed silently, hoping that Dende would decide to pay attention for once. He remembered how the female members of his class had reacted to the sudden appearance of a chibi in their midst, and it was not an experience he cared to repeat. In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that only his quick departure had saved him from a swarm of huggers, kissers, and cheek pinchers.
Surprisingly, although a few of them shot him glances that quite clearly read 'awww, how cute,' none of them approached him and his brother as they walked around the mall in search of trouble.
Just when Gohan thought that it was safe, he heard…her.
"Ohmigosh!" a familiar voice said in a high pitched squeal. Before he knew what was happening, two arms had thrown themselves around his neck and squeezed. After a quick second, he realized exactly who it was.
Erasa.
Uh oh… he thought, pulling a little bit against the girl's grip.
"Oh brother," Sharpner said from behind her. Damn. They were both here.
"Aren't you just the cutest thing I've ever seen?!? Yes you are!" Erasa all but shrieked, making Gohan's Saiyan bred ears start ringing like telephones. She proceeded to nearly strangle him while speaking in absurd baby talk, while Goten was rolling around on the ground nearby, laughing his head off at the misfortunes of his brother.
Someone kill me…please… Gohan thought offhandedly. At the same time, though, he was trying to figure out a way he could kill his brother, and make it look enough like an accident to let him get away with it. Jail time was not on his agenda.
*Is that an invitation?* a mental reply came, much to his surprise.
He blinked in surprise. *Videl?*
*The one and only,* she chuckled in his mind. *Long time, no see. Erasa and Sharpner dragged me shopping for pr—for some stuff.* Even now, she was still upset. *So…did you want some help, or would you rather I just let Erasa go on?*
*HELP!* Gohan yelped as the bubbly blonde tightened her grip on him.
*Okay, okay, you big baby,* she heaved an exaggerated mental sigh. *And I mean big baby in the most literal sense, of course—*
*Just get her off me!*
"Oh, hi, Goten!" Videl said, stepping out from behind Sharpner and knelt down to the level of the hysterical chibi. "Is this your cousin?" Goten blinked at her in confusion. "You know, your cousin. The one Gohan said was coming to visit." She subtly moved her head in Gohan's direction and winked.
Goten suddenly caught on. "Oh yeah! This is my cousin!"
"Aww! You're Gohan's cousin!" Erasa twittered.
"Uh, yeah," Gohan improvised. "Could you let me breathe please?"
To his surprise, she actually let him go.
He spun around and refrained from coughing and gagging. At last, he could breathe air that wasn't laden with overpriced perfume! Hemanaged to keep some semblance of self control, and turned to his brother…er, cousin, and said, "Hey, Goten, we'd better go find Mom."
Goten nodded. "Yeah, probably. Gotta go!"
"I think I'll take you two back," Videl said with a raised eyebrow. Then she turned to Sharpner and Erasa. "I'll catch up with you two after I get these two returned to their parental escorts. We don't want two little kids wandering the mall alone, do we?"
Erasa started gushing again, and Sharpner rolled his eyes.
"Bye!" Goten waved cheerfully as the two blondes disappeared into the crowd. Then he looked up at his 'big sister' in confusion. "Why did you say my brother was my cousin?"
"Because somehow, I didn't think Gohan wanted the whole school to know that he's seven again," Videl said matter of factly. "Thought that might cause a few problems."
"Oh. You're so smart!" Goten said happily.
She laughed. "Don't you forget it!"
"Come on, we'd better go find Mom before she decides to blow a gasket…or her stack…or the whole mall…" Gohan's voice drooped as he envisioned his enraged mother detonating the West City mall in search of her two missing sons. Maybe sneaking off hadn't been a good idea after all.
"Don't worry about it," Videl said calmly. "Let's go."
With the boys' ki sensing abilities, it didn't take them long to find ChiChi. She was standing in the middle of the mall, looking around frantically. When her eyes fell on the children being led by Videl, rage and relief began warring for control of her face. Relief won out at first, and she dove to the ground and threw her arms around the kids. "Oh, I was so worried!"
Then rage took over, and she growled, "If you ever do that again…what were you thinking?!?"
"Oh, they were looking for me," Videl said. When ChiChi looked up, the teenager continued. "Gohan said they sensed me, and they came to see where I was. That was all."
Gohan felt his jaw threatening to drop off of his face. Videl was actually covering for him?!?
"Is this true?" she asked Goten.
"Yes, Mommy," Goten said, turning on the puppy dog eyes and letting his chin quiver ever so slightly. "You were busy…and we didn't think we'd be gone very long…"
Not even ChiChi could resist that, and she sighed. "All right, you're forgiven. Just don't do it again, all right?"
The two brothers nodded fervently, exchanging a victorious look when their mother wasn't looking. Had they lucked out or what?
As they waved goodbye to Videl and went off to shop some more (for their mother this time, of course), a voice popped into Gohan's mind.
*You owe me, Son Gohan. You owe me big.*
He groaned. *I don't even want to know what you're thinking.*
A charming mental eye roll.
In spite of himself, Gohan smiled slightly. That psychiatrist had been totally wrong. That voice in his head was real, gosh darn it!
With that happy thought chasing its tail in his head, he allowed himself to be dragged off towards his inevitable doom—shopping with his mother.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm so tired…" Goten whined. He was sprawled out haphazardly across the floor in his brother's room. The floor was the only option, since Gohan had already occupied his bed.
"You're the youngest Super Saiyan in the history of the race, you can face the toughest training sessions imaginable, take ki blasts thrown by someone like Vegeta or Piccolo, and handle being thwapped by Mom's frying pan, but you can't handle shopping?" Gohan asked incredulously.
"You don't have any room to talk," Goten protested. "You're dead too!"
"Guilty," Gohan sighed. "So…I think tomorrow we're gonna go over to Capsule Corp, okay?"
Goten lifted his head. "Why?"
Though Goten couldn't see it, a devious little smirk crossed Gohan's face. "I think we've left Vegeta alone for too long. Time to disturb the peace."
AN: See? A nice long chappie to make up for the wait. This is the longest chapter I've posted in this story thus far. I feel bad when I don't update regularly, 'cause it's my pet peeve when people don't update for months. I don't like waiting to find out what happens!!
Also, guess what, everybody? I got a job. Translation: less writing time. My updates might become a little less frequent, but please bear with me, kay? Love y'all!
Next chapter: Gohan, Goten, and Trunks go head to head against our favorite Saiyan Prince as the pranking resumes! Heeheehee…I enjoy being evil. And fear not, dear friends. The prom is coming up in a few chapters. Just a couple things that have to be done first. Bear with me, we're getting there!
Candyland Fic Pick:
Title: Fragile Tough Girl
Author: gerry's giant green grassmonkey
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Drama
ID No: 1101656
Summary: Hercule's found the girl of his dreams, and Videl is NOT happy about. In the meantime, she's got to deal with people at school—especially a certain *ahem* someone, who is ever an enigma. Gohan's acting really weird in this story, but the author swears that there's a reason behind it, so I'm being patient. I just wish she would UPDATE!!!