Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Sleepy Hollow, any of the FF characters I used, and, I should have said this in the first chapter, but I don't own ZTX, because she owns herself. If I missed any other characters I don't own, well, I don't own them.
Author's Note: Well, here it is, the very last and final chapter of Sleepy Hollow Bastion. I hope you enjoy it, it's longer and my sister said she liked it better than the other chapters.
Chapter Ten:
"Ouch." Riku held the part of his leg that Sora had kicked. "I've gotta get some new friends."
"That hurt, Riku." Sora sniffed and acted all hurt.
Riku glared at Sora, then smacked the back of his head (Sora's, not his own). "And you think this doesn't?!"
"Come on, Riku! Kick him!!" the dirt encouraged him, "You know you want to!"
Sora laughed, "He won't kick me."
Riku kicked him. The dirt cheered.
"Hey!" Sora yelled, then remembered something the dirt had said from a previous chapter, but wouldn't tell anybody what it was. "Neyh, I'm not tellin'!!"
Kairi, jumping on his back like a monkey, asked as she tightened her grip on his neck, "You'll tell me what it is, won't you Sora?"
It was more of a demand than a request.
Sora nodded quickly, then whispered it in the ear she pulled away from her head so it would be easier to whisper into. Once he finished telling her, she let go of her ear, causing it to snap back against her head like elastic.
"Ooh, creepy." Riku shuttered, "Almost as creepy as my tongue."
He pointed to his tongue so everybody would know it was his.
"This is my tongue..." Riku said, then sat down in one of the holes he dug, "I wanna go home."
The dirt yelled, "NOOOOOO!!!! We must have our revenge on Sora!!!!"
"Then have your stupid revenge on Sora!! I wanna go home!!!!" Riku cried like a baby.
"You have problems, my friend." said some strange pirate, as he put his arm around Riku's shoulders.
Everybody looked at the pirate, but then Riku stole his gun and shot him in the foot, so they rushed the pirate to the hospital, where he hit on a nurse. The nurse then stomped on the foot Riku shot, making the grown pirate cry.
"Who's the baby now, huh!!!" Riku shouted at the pirate.
Sora leaned over, "He only said you had problems, the author said you cried like a baby."
"Umm...okay..." Riku said, then pushed Sora toward the now angry pirate, "He said it!! Not me!!"
Sora looked a little worried as the pirate tried to stab him with something pointy.
"Go pirate with the pointy object!!" the dirt cheered. Sora started to run away then.
"Wait a second," Sora stopped, pulled Kairi off his back, set her down on a log, then continued running away. As he ran he screamed like a little girl, "Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!"
"Dude, that's not screaming, that's the crazy laugh." said a person I don't want to name.
Sora stopped running, and rubbed his chin off in an attempt to look thoughtful, but ended up just looking plain disturbing, "Oh, yeah."
He continued running.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!" he screamed and ran.
"There you go!" said the same person I still don't want to name. "That's harsh."
The person sniffed the air, then passed out because the air they sniffed was toxic.
"Wouldn't that kill me, not just make me pass out?" the person asked from the place they were lying, unconscious, on the ground.
"You aren't dead, are you?" Cloud asked, finally making his first appearance of many in this last chapter.
Thinking, the unconscious person shook their unconscious head.
"I can change that." Cloud then stole the person's heart.
"Oh, that reminds me," Leon said, walking up to Cloud. "I'm supposed to make you stop doing that."
With that said, he took Cloud's Heartstealer away from him. Cloud tried to take it back, but Leon kept teasing him by playing keep away with it.
"Give it baaaaack!!!!" Cloud whined. Pouting, he sat down on the ground and crossed his legs and arms, "I'm gonna tell!!!"
Leon stopped dead in his tracks, "No, please don't tell!!! I'll give it back!!! Here!!"
He tossed the Heartstealer back to Cloud, who then hugged it, careful not to poke himself. Not that it would do anything, he is already heartless. Makes you wonder how he's still alive, doesn't it?
"Tattletale." Leon muttered under his breath as he, too, sat down on the ground and pouted.
"Man, you guys are the babies!!!" Sora yelled, still being chased by the pirate. Suddenly, the dirt made a wall in front of him that he didn't see. Luckily, since it was made of dirt, he ran right through it.
"Drat!!! Foiled again! Will our revenge go unrevenged forever?!" the dirt sighed, blowing dust into Sora's eyes, making him cry.
"Wahhhhhhhh!!!!" Sora cried, trying to get the dust out of his eyes.
"Finally!!!!" the dirt cried, happily, "We told you, Sora, we would make you cry before the end of this story and we have! We will now lift the curse we placed upon you."
The dirt then formed a weird fairy-godmother like wand and tapped Sora on the head with it. Of course, that meant that Sora was then covered with dirt and was afraid to move because he thought it would curse him again.
Kairi, thinking that Sora was being stupid, got out a vacuum cleaner and sucked up all the dirt that was on him. She also sucked up the dirt under him and around him, so he ended up falling through the hole she made in the world.
"Oooh!!! Can I have that?" Riku threw away his shovels, then took the vacuum from Kairi, laughing maniacally.
Suddenly, Sora was back. He was standing next to a fence, staring into what looked like a graveyard. Everybody decided to join him because they wanted to.
There was a girl in the graveyard, going from one headstone to the next, "Killed them, yep. Killed them, too. Hmm."
She scratched her head, then looked up at everybody at the fence, causing them to back away slowly. She squinted at them, but then turned her attention back to the tombstones.
Everybody was about to let out one big huge sigh of relief, but then the girl was suddenly at the fence, staring at them. She really creeped them out.
"Hi, I'm ZTX." she stated. "Has anyone seen Yuffie?"
They all shook their heads, staying as still as possible. I guess they thought that if they didn't move, she wouldn't see them.
"If you do, let me know. Okay?" she said, then went back to what she had been doing.
Again, everybody was about to let out that sigh of relief from before, but this time Yuffie ran up to the fence where ZTX had just been. Keeping close to the ground, she crawled behind one of the bigger headstones and put her finger to her lips.
"Please don't tell her I'm here." Yuffie whispered, terror in her eyes.
Everybody nodded, but they also had evil looks on their faces that made her even more nervous.
"Thanks." she said, a little freaked out at how they were now staring at her. Suddenly, she heard a noise behind her.
"There you are, Yuffie. I was looking for you!" ZTX stated, leaning over the top of the tombstone, "We need to, um...talk."
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!" Yuffie ran away.
"You can run, but you can't hide!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" And she took off after Yuffie.
"Hee, hee, Yuffie's gonna die." said a little tumbleweed as it tumbled by. "Leon, I must ask you a question to move the story along."
Leon looked at it, "Yes?"
"Why are you here?"
"Well, it all started when..." Leon started his story as the flashback music nearly blasted everybody's eardrums out. He told how he had done something and as punishment, he was sent to stop Cloud from stealing hearts.
When the flashback music stopped, and everybody's ears stopped ringing, they all had the same question.
"What'd you do?"
Leon looked uncomfortable, but answered the question anyway, "I painted the roses red."
Everybody gasped in horror.
"You're a monster!!!" a little gingerbread man yelled, then realized he was in the wrong story.
"I know! It was a horrible thing to do, but I couldn't help it!!" Leon cried, "I've been paying for it ever since. Following Cloud around everywhere he goes is not my idea of a good time!"
Everybody was still in shock, but they could sympathize.
"Hey!!" Cloud yelled. "I'm not that bad!"
Leon spoke again, "Anyway, now that I have finally caught up with you, Cloud, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to stop you."
"You and what army?" Cloud asked, with a laugh, but his laugh was cut short when he saw them.
"I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, Cloud, but I see there is no other way. Okay, guys, go bite his ankles." Leon ordered. Suddenly, the ground was moving toward Cloud as a whole lot of ants took the shape of one really big ant.
"Noooooo!! Anything but ants!!!" Cloud yelled as he ran away. "I'm allergic to ants!! I'll swell up like a wet diaper!!!"
"Eeew."
"Okay, fine," Leon said, "Go home, guys."
The ants immediately went back to their really big ant hill, leaving Cloud standing on an elevated rock like a girl standing on a chair because she saw a rat. Note, I did not say mouse.
"Whatever." Leon didn't care.
"That wasn't very nice, Leon." Aerith told him.
Seeing Aerith, Leon squinted to make sure it was really her. I'm not sure why.
"That's right! You're supposed to be my love interest in this story."
"Yeah, about that," Aerith started, walking over to Cloud, "It's not gonna happen."
"Why not?" Leon asked, a little confused.
"Well, let me see, you sicked a giant ant on Cloud!"
"I called it off." Leon kicked a pebble that ultimately hit Sora, then Kairi and Riku, who were all sitting along the side of the scene, eating popcorn like they were watching a movie.
"Please, don't let us stop you. Go on." they said.
"This is gonna get good." Riku leaned over to whisper to the others, who nodded in agreement.
Shrugging, Leon went on, "Well, I guess I'll just have to go away now, all sad and everything."
Turning toward Sora, Kairi, and Riku, he went and sat down, "I'm having a bad day."
Patting him on the back, Kairi said, "Yeah, but you have really nice hair."
"Shhhh!!! It's about to get really good!!" Sora hushed them, causing them to look back at the scene.
"Cloud, get down from there and stop being such a girl!!" Aerith yelled at him.
"I am NOT being a girl!!!" Cloud cried as he tossed away the doll he had been clutching and got down from the rock. Pulling out his Heartstealer, "Now that Leon is off my back, I can get on with stealing hearts."
"I can't let you do that, Cloud." Aerith stated as the cheesy romance music started up.
"But Aerith, if I stop, I shall remain heartless forever!" Cloud cried as he and Aerith stood cheek to cheek, "I must find my heart before we can be together!!"
Pulling away slightly, Aerith gazed up at Cloud, who gazed back down at her.
"Is that all that this is about?" she asked. Cloud nodded, "I've had your heart this whole time!"
Aerith then pulled Cloud's heart out of the fanny pack she keeps hidden under her dress to make her look like she actually has a butt, and gave it to him.
Turning away from the gathering crowd, Cloud placed his heart back into his chest, kind of like how Leon did in chapter two.
Cloud was no longer heartless.
Pulling Aerith up onto his Chocobo, who had just appeared under him, Cloud was about to kiss her when Leon broke in and the cheesy romance music stopped.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!" Leon was a little upset, "Are you meaning to tell me that I don't stop Cloud, plus he gets the girl?!! HE'S THE BAD GUY!!!!!!"
"Yep." somebody answered
Shrugging, Leon nodded, "You win some, you lose some."
"You've never won."
Leon looked irritated as he searched the crowd for whoever had said that. Suddenly, he saw something move, so he started toward it. At that, it moved faster.
"Run, run, as fast as you can!! You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!!!" it yelled.
Leon recognized the voice and took off after him, "You wanna bet?!!!"
Everybody watched as Leon tackled the gingerbread man and ate him.
Leon brushed himself off as he walked back over, "What?"
They just shook their heads.
"Hey! Can you get back to Cloud so we can go home?" Kairi yelled. Very impatient, she is.
Anyway, now that Cloud had his heart back, he had no use for his Heartstealer, so he tossed it away. It was not to be out of use for long, however, for it had landed in the graveyard.
"Ooooh!! Just what I needed!" ZTX picked up the big sword, then, seeing Yuffie hiding behind another headstone, turned to everyone else and put a finger to her lips as she snuck up behind her.
A scream could be heard as everything went dark.
THE E---
"Whoa, hold on!" Riku yelled through the darkness, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
Fine, if you really think it's necessary...
Epilogue: What Happened After
Cloud and Aerith flew away together on his flying Chocobo, to be heard of some other time by someone else.
Riku, Sora, and Kairi went back to Destiny Islands. Riku made bigger and better holes with his new vacuum. Sora and Kairi never got any better at clogging, however, because, as it turned out, they were actually taking tap dance lessons.
And, as for Leon, he went back to painting the roses red.
Oh, and for those of you who didn't get it, Yuffie died and ZTX added one more casualty to her already long list, and, trust me, the list will grow.
And so, the moral of this story that has no mention of Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, Cid, the Moogles, Sephiroth, Ansem, or any of the heartless creatures and other various characters, is: Watch your back, you might have a fangirl stalking you.
THE EN---
"That isn't what I meant." Riku yelled again.
"Shut up, Riku, and stop being a baby!!" Sora yelled.
"I just want a flashlight!!" Riku cried. "It's really dark!!"
"You're afraid of the dark?!" Kairi yelled in his general direction.
"You would be, too, if you had been locked behind a door with a giant mouse!! It felt like I was in a refrigerator! You shut the door, the light goes out." Riku shuttered. "I felt like a leftover."
Kairi sighed, then tried to smack Riku, but hit Sora instead.
"Ow!!" Sora cried, "Kai-ri!!!"
"Sorry." Kairi apologized.
"Hmm, I guess the darkness isn't that bad after all." Riku smiled, and everybody stopped talking.
THE END
Final Author's Note: I would like to thank all of you who have actually read my bizarre story and reviewed it, and to those of you who haven't, please do! I really like reviews, they make me feel special in this cold, cruel world! I'm only an insane little drama queen, after all. Anyway, I really hope you liked my story, and thanks again for the reviews!