A/N: I can assure you that "Have I Told you Lately That I Love You" was at
one point sung by Van Morrison, although as one reviewer pointed out, Rod
Stewart, whose name he/she spelled incorrectly, also sang the song. And I'm
sorry this chapter is so short.I've been neglecting lately and I thought it
was better to post what I had than to wait for inspiration. Thanks for
understanding!
Chapter 31
"Settle down," Professor Snape said, coming into the classroom. "Today we're going to be making the convocos potion. The directions are on the board, I expect a seven hundred and fifty word essay on my desk next class on the most crucial use of this potion in addition to your normal write-up. Get to work!"
Hermione sighed and started to flip through her notes. Strange as though it seemed, she found she already had the notes for the convocos potion. She turned to Draco and asked to see his notes. He showed her that he had already discovered his own set of notes.
"He seems to be in a foul mood, should we say something?" She asked. Draco shrugged.
"I don't particularly want to sit in this classroom today. It's worth a shot," he said. They made their way to the front of the room and approached the dais. Professor Snape sighed.
"I was expecting this. Yes, Dumbledore informed all of us of your special circumstances. Very well then, go work on your project. But I expect perfect essays from both of you," he warned. They nodded and left the room quickly.
"I can't believe he let us out," Hermione was shocked. Draco shrugged.
"He's always been partial to me," he admitted. Hermione raised her eyebrows.
"That's true, but I never would have expected you to admit to that," she said. Draco sighed.
"Hermione, I'm sure I'm a lot of things you wouldn't expect," he said. "After all you've been," he added, surprising her again.
"Have I really?" she asked. He nodded. They passed by an open window and the day was bright and sunny. "Oh, let's check out the books we need and go work outside. What a beautiful day!" Hermione said. Draco nodded in agreement and they quickly picked out a large stack of books each.
They headed out to the lake, where the warm sun was shining off the top of the water. For a few minutes they sat reading through the books and taking notes, but the longer they sat, the lazier they got.
"I'm getting sleepy," Hermione said as she sat up to stretch. Draco nodded in agreement and put his head in her lap. She giggled and stroked his hair softly.
"Hermione, have you ever given any thought to why someone would put a memory curse on us?" he asked. "Or who they were?" he added as an afterthought. She stared out across the lake.
"Only all the time," she replied softly. "It's all I can think about anymore. My lessons seem so trivial compared to this. There are untold amounts of time that I can't account for. Who knows what we could have done?"
"The possibilities are astounding," Draco agreed. "But I think what I really want to know is what happened between you and I," he said tentatively.
"What makes you think something happened?" Hermione asked. Draco tried not to laugh at her.
"Well, these rings are engagement rings, Hermione, we wouldn't have just been engaged for the heck of it," he said, unable to disguise the laughter in his tone. Hermione sighed.
"Alright, I see your point," she conceded. "So we're engaged - or were engaged."
"We're engaged," he repeated. Hermione's eyes grew wide as a thought crossed her mind.
"We're not married are we?" she asked, horrified. Draco couldn't help but laugh out loud at her question.
"Obviously not, the marriage was never consummated," he chuckled, sitting up, "And I can assure you that if we were married, it would have been."
"Oh," was all Hermione could think of to say. Her cheeks flushed light pink as she wondered how Draco had lost his virginity. Could she ask him to tell her about it or would that be too weird? She decided to go for it. "Draco, will you tell me something?"
"Probably," he replied. "Depends on what you want to know," he said honestly.
"I was just wondering and it's kind of personal so you don't have to answer, but I was wondering how you lost your virginity," she said the last part softly. Draco sighed.
"It's not exactly the most exciting story I could tell you," he began. "But if you have to know, then I guess I can tell you. It was one summer when my family went on vacation with Pansy's. We'd been dating since the Yule ball, and it was summer and I was bored, and one night our parents went out and left us alone, and that was what happened. It wasn't spectacular, neither one of us was really sure of ourselves, and it was over right away. But somehow I was hooked," he said, a telltale grin spreading across his face. Hermione thought about this for a moment.
"Why do you think it was like that?" she asked. Draco shrugged.
"I guess it was because I wasn't in love with Pansy. Not really. She and I were best friends. We really grew up together. Mr. Parkinson was like a father to me," Draco told Hermione. She nodded, her eyes focused on some distant point. Draco watched her as she thought about what he had said. "I told you it wasn't the most exciting story," he reminded her. She turned to look at him, her eyes bright and inquisitive.
"Have you ever been in love, Draco?" she asked. His face broke into a wide smile that answered the question for her right away.
"Yes, after all I asked you to marry me, didn't I?" he said smiling at her with an expression Hermione tried to convince herself she'd never seen before.
"That's not what I was talking about," she said quickly. He laughed
"How isn't it? You asked if I'd been in love, and I was definitely in love with you at one point, if not still, or we wouldn't be engaged," he said. Hermione couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Was he telling the truth? "I wouldn't ask someone to marry me unless I was in love, Hermione," he added as though he could read her thoughts. She took a deep breath.
"That wasn't what I expected I guess," she said. "Are we still engaged?" she asked after a bit. Draco thought for a bit.
"Do you want to be?" he asked. Hermione laughed.
"That wasn't what I asked!" she said. Draco shook his head.
"Hermione, you've got to work on this communication thing," he teased. She heaved a sigh.
"Are we engaged even though we don't remember why?" she tried to rephrase her question.
"I remember why," Draco said. "We were in love."
"Were." she repeated wistfully. Draco reached out and took one of her hands in his.
"Hermione, if I was in love with you once, I can see no reason why I won't be again. After all, what's not to love?" he asked. Hermione flushed a bright pink.
"I guess it would be weird to be engaged if we haven't been dating," she mused. Draco shrugged.
"It would be different," he admitted. "But different can be good."
"Yeah, but so many things are different right now," Hermione said, without really finishing her thought. Draco nodded. Hermione looked over the notes she had taken, then looked at her watch.
"We have an hour left," she remarked.
"Time flies doesn't it?" Draco teased. Hermione laughed, but in the pit of her stomach she wished their time wasn't almost over.
"I might stay out here for lunch," she decided, watching birds land on the lake.
"Sounds good to me," Draco agreed catching her off guard. "Why waste a lovely day inside some damp castle?" he asked. He lifted a book in to his lap and continued reading. Hermione followed his example.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asked her suddenly.
"Go ahead," she agreed.
"Did Madam Pomfrey ever figure out what was wrong with you?"
"Not exactly," Hermione began. "She said it was a virus of some sort. But do you want to know something weird? She kept giving me morning sickness medicine - and it was the only thing that worked."
"But, I thought," Draco thought the better of what he was about to say and shut his mouth, "Never mind."
"No, what?" Hermione asked, frustrated. It drove her nuts when people did things like that.
"Well, I just thought that you were still a virgin," he said, not really looking at her.
"I am," Hermione assured him, laughing. But Draco didn't laugh.
"Hermione, I know biology just as well as the next person. There is something going on here - something very serious," he said. "I just wish I could remember what it was."
* * *
"Have they been out there all class do you think?" Someone behind Pansy asked.
"They must have," another voice replied.
"It looks like he's gonna kiss her," a third voice spoke up. Pansy turned to look out the window they were crowded around. She could easily see Hermione sitting very close to Draco.
"Who's gonna kiss who?" Ron asked, coming up the stairs to stand with the girls. A bizarre expression crossed his face as he took in the sight.
"Gosh Ron, you're as bad as the girls," Seamus teased, patting his friend on the back. He followed Ron's horrified gaze across to the couple sitting in blissful obliviousness to the spectacle they were putting on. He let out a low whistle. "Looks like Mr. Malfoy has a new conquest," he commented. Ron slammed his fist into the wall, and all the girls turned to gape at him as he and Seamus headed to the Great Hall.
"I thought Hermione of all people would have enough sense to stay awake from that bastard," Ron mourned, rubbing his now bruising fist.
"Aww, Ronnie, what have you done?" Lavendar gushed, taking his hand into hers. Seamus raised his eyebrows and left the two standing in the hall.
"Speaking of senseless," he muttered to himself.
"She'll never last more than a night or two," someone said. "Draco's not interested in commitment - you saw how fast he dumped Breena once she stopped sleeping with him."
"He dumped her because she was moving," Pansy spoke up. "Not because she wouldn't sleep with him. He told me she wasn't even that good at it."
"Are you serious?" the others chorused. Pansy nodded knowingly.
"Even so, Hermione's not at all his type. Just because she's smart.I hear she has the personality of a fish."
"That's not true either," Pansy disagreed. "Hermione's a great person."
"But she's not his type at all," someone pointed out.
"I hope you're all discussing blood types, and that's why we're all clogging up the halls instead of eating lunch when we should be," Professor Snape intoned, coming up the stairs. The girls broke into a fit of giggles. Snape glanced out the window to see what was causing all the fuss. "Well, it looks like some students are more interested in love potions than extra credit," he remarked, brushing past the girls to head for lunch. The girls all exchanged glances again. Had Snape just made a joke? They burst into another fit of giggles and followed the professor across the school.
* * *
"Albus, I think they have a right to know a portion of the story," Minerva McGonagall pleaded. Headmaster Dumbledore shook his head.
"The instructions are clear, Minerva. They must come to conclusions on their own, completely unaided and unprompted," he read from the thick book that sat on his desk.
"Begging again, are we?" Severus asked, coming into the room. McGonagall shot him a glare.
"I think it's detrimental to their mental and emotional well-being," she continued. Snape chuckled.
"They'll come around," he said confidently.
"But Severus, they've written identical essays for the past week now," she reminded him.
"They're not aware of that," he informed her. "I think its fine the way it is. It will make them stronger."
"Miss Granger has been ill, Severus," she said through clenched teeth. "She's having pseudo-pregnancy symptoms as a result of the suppressed memory. It cannot manifest mentally, so it has decided to manifest physically. Suppose the symptoms not only persist, but increase? There will be no way to explain to the other students - they have no recollections whatsoever. But you are aware that Draco and Hermione received the greatest shocks from this charm as their memories required the strongest suppression."
"A sure sign of strong mental prowess. Their mental health will be just fine," Snape countered. "This should be significant proof that they are perfect candidates for Head Boy and Girl."
"That goes without saying, Severus," McGonagall stated. "I have a firm belief that these children deserve complete honesty. There are certain facts that I believe they ought to know. And I believe at the very least, Hermione ought to know that the memory charm is a result of a dying wish. When Harry Potter died, she whispered a wish to him - that she could go back to school without any recollection of those events. And that's what happened. What she didn't know was that there are no memory charms strong enough to suppress those kinds of memories in a mind as strong as hers or Draco's. Shouldn't they know that?"
"Minerva, I cannot allow you to tell them any of that. And we are not here to discuss that. We are here to discuss their future as Head Boy and Girl, and what our expectations are for them as such," Dumbledore reminded her. She nodded and sat down next to Snape.
* * *
Hermione looked at her watch. It was late - the library would be closing soon. She made a quick list of books to consult before saying good night to Draco. He offered to walk her to the tower, but she declined.
There was so much on her mind. Draco had said he had been in love with her. Did that mean that a part of him somewhere still was? She must have been in love with him too, or she never would have accepted. So somewhere inside was a part of her that still loved him too. The idea alone gave her butterflies. She tried to picture Draco in love. Had he treated her like he had treated Breena? Kissing in the halls and holding onto each other incessantly?
A light, rosy flush graced Hermione's cheeks as she thought back to the day she had unwittingly walked into Draco's bath. Had they done more of that than she remembered? She tried to remember, willing herself to recall just one memory.
"Are you aware that you are the center of gossip right now?" A sharp voice rang out. Hermione looked up to find herself right outside Gryffindor Tower. She turned to see her accuser, and found Seamus behind her, examining her from head to toe. "Well, you look like you're walking alright, and it's still early. Did Malfoy decide not to screw you senseless?" he asked her accusingly.
"We're doing a potions project," she said.
"No one believes that's all you're doing," he informed her. Hermione sighed.
"What have we done to give them that impression?" she asked. Seamus raised his eyebrows and looked her over. Her uniform was wrinkled; her cheeks were pink as though from physical activity, the knee socks that covered her long, slender legs were slouching. Hermione looked down at her clothing and did her best to rectify the situation. "Better?" she asked.
"It's likely that the damage is done," he said pursing his lips together. "Just be aware, Hermione: Everyone is watching to see what you will do next."
Chapter 31
"Settle down," Professor Snape said, coming into the classroom. "Today we're going to be making the convocos potion. The directions are on the board, I expect a seven hundred and fifty word essay on my desk next class on the most crucial use of this potion in addition to your normal write-up. Get to work!"
Hermione sighed and started to flip through her notes. Strange as though it seemed, she found she already had the notes for the convocos potion. She turned to Draco and asked to see his notes. He showed her that he had already discovered his own set of notes.
"He seems to be in a foul mood, should we say something?" She asked. Draco shrugged.
"I don't particularly want to sit in this classroom today. It's worth a shot," he said. They made their way to the front of the room and approached the dais. Professor Snape sighed.
"I was expecting this. Yes, Dumbledore informed all of us of your special circumstances. Very well then, go work on your project. But I expect perfect essays from both of you," he warned. They nodded and left the room quickly.
"I can't believe he let us out," Hermione was shocked. Draco shrugged.
"He's always been partial to me," he admitted. Hermione raised her eyebrows.
"That's true, but I never would have expected you to admit to that," she said. Draco sighed.
"Hermione, I'm sure I'm a lot of things you wouldn't expect," he said. "After all you've been," he added, surprising her again.
"Have I really?" she asked. He nodded. They passed by an open window and the day was bright and sunny. "Oh, let's check out the books we need and go work outside. What a beautiful day!" Hermione said. Draco nodded in agreement and they quickly picked out a large stack of books each.
They headed out to the lake, where the warm sun was shining off the top of the water. For a few minutes they sat reading through the books and taking notes, but the longer they sat, the lazier they got.
"I'm getting sleepy," Hermione said as she sat up to stretch. Draco nodded in agreement and put his head in her lap. She giggled and stroked his hair softly.
"Hermione, have you ever given any thought to why someone would put a memory curse on us?" he asked. "Or who they were?" he added as an afterthought. She stared out across the lake.
"Only all the time," she replied softly. "It's all I can think about anymore. My lessons seem so trivial compared to this. There are untold amounts of time that I can't account for. Who knows what we could have done?"
"The possibilities are astounding," Draco agreed. "But I think what I really want to know is what happened between you and I," he said tentatively.
"What makes you think something happened?" Hermione asked. Draco tried not to laugh at her.
"Well, these rings are engagement rings, Hermione, we wouldn't have just been engaged for the heck of it," he said, unable to disguise the laughter in his tone. Hermione sighed.
"Alright, I see your point," she conceded. "So we're engaged - or were engaged."
"We're engaged," he repeated. Hermione's eyes grew wide as a thought crossed her mind.
"We're not married are we?" she asked, horrified. Draco couldn't help but laugh out loud at her question.
"Obviously not, the marriage was never consummated," he chuckled, sitting up, "And I can assure you that if we were married, it would have been."
"Oh," was all Hermione could think of to say. Her cheeks flushed light pink as she wondered how Draco had lost his virginity. Could she ask him to tell her about it or would that be too weird? She decided to go for it. "Draco, will you tell me something?"
"Probably," he replied. "Depends on what you want to know," he said honestly.
"I was just wondering and it's kind of personal so you don't have to answer, but I was wondering how you lost your virginity," she said the last part softly. Draco sighed.
"It's not exactly the most exciting story I could tell you," he began. "But if you have to know, then I guess I can tell you. It was one summer when my family went on vacation with Pansy's. We'd been dating since the Yule ball, and it was summer and I was bored, and one night our parents went out and left us alone, and that was what happened. It wasn't spectacular, neither one of us was really sure of ourselves, and it was over right away. But somehow I was hooked," he said, a telltale grin spreading across his face. Hermione thought about this for a moment.
"Why do you think it was like that?" she asked. Draco shrugged.
"I guess it was because I wasn't in love with Pansy. Not really. She and I were best friends. We really grew up together. Mr. Parkinson was like a father to me," Draco told Hermione. She nodded, her eyes focused on some distant point. Draco watched her as she thought about what he had said. "I told you it wasn't the most exciting story," he reminded her. She turned to look at him, her eyes bright and inquisitive.
"Have you ever been in love, Draco?" she asked. His face broke into a wide smile that answered the question for her right away.
"Yes, after all I asked you to marry me, didn't I?" he said smiling at her with an expression Hermione tried to convince herself she'd never seen before.
"That's not what I was talking about," she said quickly. He laughed
"How isn't it? You asked if I'd been in love, and I was definitely in love with you at one point, if not still, or we wouldn't be engaged," he said. Hermione couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Was he telling the truth? "I wouldn't ask someone to marry me unless I was in love, Hermione," he added as though he could read her thoughts. She took a deep breath.
"That wasn't what I expected I guess," she said. "Are we still engaged?" she asked after a bit. Draco thought for a bit.
"Do you want to be?" he asked. Hermione laughed.
"That wasn't what I asked!" she said. Draco shook his head.
"Hermione, you've got to work on this communication thing," he teased. She heaved a sigh.
"Are we engaged even though we don't remember why?" she tried to rephrase her question.
"I remember why," Draco said. "We were in love."
"Were." she repeated wistfully. Draco reached out and took one of her hands in his.
"Hermione, if I was in love with you once, I can see no reason why I won't be again. After all, what's not to love?" he asked. Hermione flushed a bright pink.
"I guess it would be weird to be engaged if we haven't been dating," she mused. Draco shrugged.
"It would be different," he admitted. "But different can be good."
"Yeah, but so many things are different right now," Hermione said, without really finishing her thought. Draco nodded. Hermione looked over the notes she had taken, then looked at her watch.
"We have an hour left," she remarked.
"Time flies doesn't it?" Draco teased. Hermione laughed, but in the pit of her stomach she wished their time wasn't almost over.
"I might stay out here for lunch," she decided, watching birds land on the lake.
"Sounds good to me," Draco agreed catching her off guard. "Why waste a lovely day inside some damp castle?" he asked. He lifted a book in to his lap and continued reading. Hermione followed his example.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asked her suddenly.
"Go ahead," she agreed.
"Did Madam Pomfrey ever figure out what was wrong with you?"
"Not exactly," Hermione began. "She said it was a virus of some sort. But do you want to know something weird? She kept giving me morning sickness medicine - and it was the only thing that worked."
"But, I thought," Draco thought the better of what he was about to say and shut his mouth, "Never mind."
"No, what?" Hermione asked, frustrated. It drove her nuts when people did things like that.
"Well, I just thought that you were still a virgin," he said, not really looking at her.
"I am," Hermione assured him, laughing. But Draco didn't laugh.
"Hermione, I know biology just as well as the next person. There is something going on here - something very serious," he said. "I just wish I could remember what it was."
* * *
"Have they been out there all class do you think?" Someone behind Pansy asked.
"They must have," another voice replied.
"It looks like he's gonna kiss her," a third voice spoke up. Pansy turned to look out the window they were crowded around. She could easily see Hermione sitting very close to Draco.
"Who's gonna kiss who?" Ron asked, coming up the stairs to stand with the girls. A bizarre expression crossed his face as he took in the sight.
"Gosh Ron, you're as bad as the girls," Seamus teased, patting his friend on the back. He followed Ron's horrified gaze across to the couple sitting in blissful obliviousness to the spectacle they were putting on. He let out a low whistle. "Looks like Mr. Malfoy has a new conquest," he commented. Ron slammed his fist into the wall, and all the girls turned to gape at him as he and Seamus headed to the Great Hall.
"I thought Hermione of all people would have enough sense to stay awake from that bastard," Ron mourned, rubbing his now bruising fist.
"Aww, Ronnie, what have you done?" Lavendar gushed, taking his hand into hers. Seamus raised his eyebrows and left the two standing in the hall.
"Speaking of senseless," he muttered to himself.
"She'll never last more than a night or two," someone said. "Draco's not interested in commitment - you saw how fast he dumped Breena once she stopped sleeping with him."
"He dumped her because she was moving," Pansy spoke up. "Not because she wouldn't sleep with him. He told me she wasn't even that good at it."
"Are you serious?" the others chorused. Pansy nodded knowingly.
"Even so, Hermione's not at all his type. Just because she's smart.I hear she has the personality of a fish."
"That's not true either," Pansy disagreed. "Hermione's a great person."
"But she's not his type at all," someone pointed out.
"I hope you're all discussing blood types, and that's why we're all clogging up the halls instead of eating lunch when we should be," Professor Snape intoned, coming up the stairs. The girls broke into a fit of giggles. Snape glanced out the window to see what was causing all the fuss. "Well, it looks like some students are more interested in love potions than extra credit," he remarked, brushing past the girls to head for lunch. The girls all exchanged glances again. Had Snape just made a joke? They burst into another fit of giggles and followed the professor across the school.
* * *
"Albus, I think they have a right to know a portion of the story," Minerva McGonagall pleaded. Headmaster Dumbledore shook his head.
"The instructions are clear, Minerva. They must come to conclusions on their own, completely unaided and unprompted," he read from the thick book that sat on his desk.
"Begging again, are we?" Severus asked, coming into the room. McGonagall shot him a glare.
"I think it's detrimental to their mental and emotional well-being," she continued. Snape chuckled.
"They'll come around," he said confidently.
"But Severus, they've written identical essays for the past week now," she reminded him.
"They're not aware of that," he informed her. "I think its fine the way it is. It will make them stronger."
"Miss Granger has been ill, Severus," she said through clenched teeth. "She's having pseudo-pregnancy symptoms as a result of the suppressed memory. It cannot manifest mentally, so it has decided to manifest physically. Suppose the symptoms not only persist, but increase? There will be no way to explain to the other students - they have no recollections whatsoever. But you are aware that Draco and Hermione received the greatest shocks from this charm as their memories required the strongest suppression."
"A sure sign of strong mental prowess. Their mental health will be just fine," Snape countered. "This should be significant proof that they are perfect candidates for Head Boy and Girl."
"That goes without saying, Severus," McGonagall stated. "I have a firm belief that these children deserve complete honesty. There are certain facts that I believe they ought to know. And I believe at the very least, Hermione ought to know that the memory charm is a result of a dying wish. When Harry Potter died, she whispered a wish to him - that she could go back to school without any recollection of those events. And that's what happened. What she didn't know was that there are no memory charms strong enough to suppress those kinds of memories in a mind as strong as hers or Draco's. Shouldn't they know that?"
"Minerva, I cannot allow you to tell them any of that. And we are not here to discuss that. We are here to discuss their future as Head Boy and Girl, and what our expectations are for them as such," Dumbledore reminded her. She nodded and sat down next to Snape.
* * *
Hermione looked at her watch. It was late - the library would be closing soon. She made a quick list of books to consult before saying good night to Draco. He offered to walk her to the tower, but she declined.
There was so much on her mind. Draco had said he had been in love with her. Did that mean that a part of him somewhere still was? She must have been in love with him too, or she never would have accepted. So somewhere inside was a part of her that still loved him too. The idea alone gave her butterflies. She tried to picture Draco in love. Had he treated her like he had treated Breena? Kissing in the halls and holding onto each other incessantly?
A light, rosy flush graced Hermione's cheeks as she thought back to the day she had unwittingly walked into Draco's bath. Had they done more of that than she remembered? She tried to remember, willing herself to recall just one memory.
"Are you aware that you are the center of gossip right now?" A sharp voice rang out. Hermione looked up to find herself right outside Gryffindor Tower. She turned to see her accuser, and found Seamus behind her, examining her from head to toe. "Well, you look like you're walking alright, and it's still early. Did Malfoy decide not to screw you senseless?" he asked her accusingly.
"We're doing a potions project," she said.
"No one believes that's all you're doing," he informed her. Hermione sighed.
"What have we done to give them that impression?" she asked. Seamus raised his eyebrows and looked her over. Her uniform was wrinkled; her cheeks were pink as though from physical activity, the knee socks that covered her long, slender legs were slouching. Hermione looked down at her clothing and did her best to rectify the situation. "Better?" she asked.
"It's likely that the damage is done," he said pursing his lips together. "Just be aware, Hermione: Everyone is watching to see what you will do next."