AN: It's company policy here at Candyland, Inc. not to disappoint the readers when they make suggestions and/or requests. But imagine my absolute shock when I open my email box and find a suggestion from DemonDancing, who is one of the authors on this site whose work I absolutely idolize. This, on top of wonderful reviews…wow! *sweatdrops* I really hope I don't sound totally freakish or anything. It was just really cool for me!

Anyway, muchas, muchas gracias to DemonDancing for this wonderful suggestion (considering I really wasn't sure what I was gonna put in this chapter). I hope everyone enjoys it. Actually, I hope I do her idea justice ^^ This is an interlude, so it doesn't necessarily follow the exact timeline. Matter of fact, as it says in here, this is set right after the battle with Nappa and Vegeta. I don't own DBZ, and theoretically, I don't own this idea either. Oh well, can't have everything.

Interlude: The Voice of DOOM

Insert some kind of witty quote here. I'm too lazy to find one.

Yemma was sitting at his desk. Yup, he's sitting there. Just sitting there, tapping his pencil against the pages of his book, resulting in an incredibly annoying sound that echoed off the walls of the relatively empty office of the Otherworld Check-In Station. The noise alone was just about enough to drive…a person…crazy…like that one ogre who was in the corner, curled up into a little ball, rocking himself back and forth while sucking his thumb and humming "Rock-a-bye Baby" to himself.

To be perfectly blunt, the great king of the Afterlife was bored. Not just bored. We're talking bored here. Bored to the point that flicking a lint ball back and forth could be considered the absolute ultimate in entertainment (AN: A thousand couch potato points to anyone who knows where I saw the 'flicking the lint ball' idea).

He sat back in his oversized chair and stared at the ceiling. No, that was boring too. Today really sucked. There hadn't even been that many deaths that day, and the few that had come through had been pretty boring—you know, died in their sleep, terminal illness, choking on a big mouthful because they hadn't listened to their mothers, etc. Nothing really exciting. No murders, no hit-and-runs, no falling off buildings or bridges or into the Grand Canyon or anything that could make for an interesting story.

Truthfully, there hadn't been any majorly interesting 'this is how I died' stories for several days now. Several days ago, those two Saiyans had landed on Earth, and managed to blow up a few major cities before being defeated by Son Goku. Ah, yes, Yemma often found himself reminiscing about times like that, when there had actually been something for him to do.

Such was the state that King Kai found the great King Yemma in.

"Yemma?" the kai wheezed.

To his surprise, Yemma jumped about twenty feet in the air—and then landed leaning a little too far back, so his chair flipped and upended itself, resulting in a crash that made people on Earth look around in confusion at the noise. Those in the office cringed and covered their ears.

The mighty red giant sat up and shook his head rapidly in an effort to make the little birdies stop fluttering around him, singing. His head hurt, and they were twittering away at an awfully high pitch. But once the birds finally decided to fly away, he seemed to realize where he was, and he jumped to his feet in a vain, belated attempt to look nonchalant. He failed miserably, but no one really wanted to say anything, lest the enormous ogre be angered even further.

After a minute, though, Yemma had returned his chair to its normal, upright position, and reseated himself in said chair. He took another long moment to randomly straighten things on his desk in yet another vain attempt to save some shred of his dignity. Finally, he returned his attention to the little blue catfish-man, who had waited patiently for his audience.

"What can I do for you?" Yemma boomed.

"I have to ask you a question," King Kai said in a nasal twang; he sounded like he had several dozen walnuts stuffed in his cheeks.

"Sure," Yemma sighed, more than slightly disappointed. He had really been hoping that it would be something major, like a war between the kais or something. Then he could at least have something to watch on his enormous screen TV. You know, the one in his office that was roughly the side of Rhode Island? It had great reception!

"Oh, let's say I wanted to get back at someone," the short blue kai snorted. "Let's hypothetically say that this someone ate me out of house and home, half destroyed my planet, and smashed my beautiful car into little tiny pieces, and I wanted to get back at this person."

"Yes?" Yemma already knew exactly who was being spoken of, but opted to listen to the end rather than interject that he could guess who it was without too much difficulty.

"Would I get in any trouble?"

The red giant tapped at his chin thoughtfully for a moment, then bestowed a measuring gaze on the fat little kai. "What kind of payback are we talking about? You're not going to kill anyone or anything, are you? That would definitely be out."

A semi-malicious grin crossed King Kai's face. "Here's what I was thinking."

Ten minutes later, the catfish man skipped happily out of King Yemma's office, calling thank you's back over his shoulder as he headed towards Snake Way and the journey back to his home (which was barely in one piece anymore). He seemed to be in an extremely good mood.

Back inside the Check-In Station, seated at the oversized desk, King Yemma was staring straight ahead. Gone was the boredom; it had been replaced by overwhelming shock at just how evil those kais could be when they really had it in for someone.

"Kami speed, Goku," the ogre shook his head, not envying his Saiyan friend. "You're going to need all the prayers you can get if King Kai actually pulls this off."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The little blue catfish man god-type being scampered into his small house, cackling maniacally. Granted, his house wasn't really worth much anymore. Having a Saiyan running around on the planet trying to smack that stupid cricket with a hammer just was simply NOT conducive to maintaining a decent resale value. Currently, King Kai's modest home was only being held together by a few prayers, a little faith, and a whole lot of duct tape (the handyman's secret weapon). His treasured car, however, had not been quite so fortunate. Tomorrow, the crews were coming to carry it off to the Heavenly Scrap Heap.

King Kai mourned the loss of his house, his car, and most of all, his food. There wasn't a crumb left in his house. Goku had offered his concerns that the food in the refrigerator might be spoiling, or that the foodstuffs occupying the cupboard might be poisoned or something, and had bravely volunteered to protect his sensei from the harmful effects of such dangerous eatables.

And now, King Kai was angry.

And when King Kai got angry, he got revenge.

And when he got revenge, people got hurt. Not necessarily physically, though.

For a little blue catfish man, he was quite good at devising the most unimaginable tortures for those he felt deserving of his wrath. And this was by definition a special case.

Cackling, he extended his telepathy towards a specific person on Earth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Son ChiChi growled angrily and dropped the remnants of yet another broken plate into the garbage can, which was already overflowing with jagged pieces of broken ceramic from her earlier attempts at drying the dishes.

She was just too angry. Goku had managed to get himself killed a year before, and only a few days prior, he had nearly succeeded in getting himself killed yet again. Luckily, he had managed to escape with slightly less drastic injuries—after all, being hospitalized in a full body cast for an undisclosed length of time had to be much better than being dead, right?

The matriarch of the Son family plopped down into her chair at the kitchen table and sighed unhappily. Not only was her husband hopeless, but her son was showing of signs of turning out just like his father. Going off to some strange planet called Namek to gather the Dragonballs and wish back those weirdos that Goku called his friends! Yessirree, Gohan was exactly like his father. It was a true tragedy.  The only difference was that Gohan's IQ at age five was about three or four times that of his adult father's. But hey, you won some, you lost some.

Such was the state she was in—pouting in her kitchen—when the voice came into her mind.

*Greetings, my dear lady,* the nasal twange said in her mind.

ChiChi jumped about three feet in the air, landing neatly on her feet with the treasured Frying Pan of Doom and Terror already poised and ready to strike whoever or whatever dared invade the sanctity of her thoughts with such an irritating voice. "Who is it? Who are you?"

*My name is King Kai,* came the snort of a reply, *and I have a proposition for you.*

"I don't go for that kind of thing, buddy," ChiChi said angrily. "I'm married!"

If the voice in her head had possessed a physical form, it would have sweatdropped. *That's not exactly what I meant. May I explain?*

"Please do."

*I have a slight grudge against your husband,* the voice who had introduced itself as King Kai wheezed. *To make a long story short, he trashed my planet, nearly toppled my house, crushed my car, and ate all my food, and I'm pissed off about it.*

"So where do I come into this?" ChiChi asked, feeling a sudden pang of sympathy for this unknown deity. After all, she knew exactly what he was talking about.

*I want payback. If I'm not mistaken, you have a few things you want to settle with that husband of yours as well,* the voice cackled. *Perhaps we can help each other out?*

"What do I do?" ChiChi demanded, though a little less forcefully. This was starting to sound more and more appealing with each word.

*I will give you the power to strike fear into the hearts of men, including Son Goku,* King Kai snorted. *In return, you will use this power to make sure that Goku suffers, suffers like no inconsiderate man has ever suffered before him. Do we have a deal?*

ChiChi pondered this for about half a nanosecond. "Deal. Just tell me what to do."

The voice snickered maniacally. *Here's what you do.*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Goku slipped out of his hospital room into the darkened hallway. After peering around for a moment to make sure that there were no doctors or nurses on the prowl. Once he was certain that it was safe, he headed for the door at the end of the hall, a door that led to a flight of stairs…and escape.

His hand was on the door handle, and he was just about to head down those stairs when he heard the most frightening, the most horrifying, the most terrifying sound his ears had ever beheld.

His wife's voice, screaming at him.

"Son Goku, you get back in that hospital bed right this instant or else!"

Goku froze for a moment, then raced back to his hospital room as fast as the bandages would let him, and jumped back into the bed, pulling the thin blanket up over his head to protect himself from the horror that had just befallen him.

"Now listen up, Goku!" ChiChi's voice shrieked. "Don't you dare try running away from that hospital again, or else!"

He shivered in terror beneath the blanket at this horror that had befallen him. What had happened to his wife that she would suddenly have this awesome power? Actually, there was a more pressing question in his mind at that moment. "How does she do that?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

About a hundred miles away, a very satisfied wife smirked. "I think this arrangement will work out very, very nicely. Now let's see what I can do about Gohan…"

And in the Otherworld, at the end of Snake Way, a very satisfied kai snorted. "Revenge is mine. Now Goku will pay for eating all my food and destroying my car!!!" He burst into peals of evil, maniacal laughter. Unfortunately, the vibrations from said laughter shook the walls; even duct tape couldn't save the building against this, and King Kai's house fell down on top of him.

AN: I hope this measured up to everyone's expectations, and I hope I did DemonDancing's idea justice ^^ Or maybe I just worry too much. I dunno. As always, if you want to be on the mailing list to be alerted to updates, let me know!

Also, I want to make an announcement at this time. My cousin got married today, and exactly two weeks from today, I move into my dorm room at college. Then I get to start the fun task of settling in at college. Translation: I don't think I'm going to be writing a whole lot for a while. I've got a lot on my plate, so chances are that updates are going to be fewer and farther between for an undisclosed length of time. *bowing up and down frantically* Gomen.