The Darkness Inside
I never wanted to be like this. I never asked to have the parents I ended up with. I never asked to be beaten when I didn't comply with my father's wishes, or when the reports Crabbe and Goyle sent to my father weren't good enough. I feel like a prisoner. I suppose I am really, with those thugs following me everywhere and watching my every move. They aren't as stupid as they act.
I've often wondered if this life is worth living. Death and suicide are subjects which have occupied my thoughts ever since I was a small child and my father started abusing me. Somehow I think Harry Potter is the only person who would understand me at all. I've heard about how is Aunt and Uncle treat him...and I've seen the bruises. No-one ever sees mine - father is very careful about where they are located.
I don't have any real friends here either. Crabbe and Goyle are the only ones who spend time with me, besides that Pansy who keeps trying to get me to ask her out. Personally, I would prefer someone with half a brain. Like Ginny Weasley. Not that she'd ever go out with me, I've been so awful. Better to be alone until I leave home than suffer more beatings.
Not that death would be so bad. Is it better not to exist than to live like this? Some days I just want it all to end. Most days in fact. How hard would it be to still my breath and end it all. Slip into unconsciousness and never wake up? Mix a drought to stop my heart from beating...The library has the recipes. I know; I looked as soon as I had permission to enter the Restricted Section. Could buy the ingredients in Hogsmeade...So easy...
Draco closed the notebook and turned over to stare at a poem he had stuck to the wall, hidden by the curtains of his four-poster.
Solitude
left in silence
alone
the darkness inside
is always hidden
by me
disguise the pain
with cruelty
why?
loneliness is the life
I have been chosen to live.
He flipped onto his back and glared at the canopy of the bed. Why him? Life should have so much to offer. Sighing glumly, he climbed from his bed and gathered up his books for class.
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