Thin Line
By sweet like chocolate
Disclaimer: Only own them in my dreams
Summary: See first chapter
A/N I was amazed by the feedback I got! Ten reviews for just the first chapter. It's the most I've ever got for one chapter (I think), and I am so grateful! It really pushes me to write, and I just wrote this chapter instead of revising for my physics exam! This chapter is mainly just a introduction to the characters, seeing what really goes on it their heads, and provides some necessary background information. The action will start next chapter. Italics is Max's journal and bold Italics is Liz's
Anyway I hope you like, please tell me what you think!
This chapter is dedicated to my reviewers: gigi, Alyanah, jazzypunker, Alicia, purpleant, The wander, anonymous, LizEvans, MaxsAntarPrincessLiz and Gifted Empress.
Thank you.
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Chapter 1- Journal Entries2000- 10 years later
September 23rd. Journal entry 1.
I'm Liz Parker, and I have to say this is a pretty cool assignment Mr. Owen. My grandma is always telling me how important it is to record your life, you never know who'd find it interesting. Every time I started a diary though, I just couldn't keep it going. I just always gave up. I think this will help though, you know, actually having to carry on to get the grade.
I like what you've called it too, a journal. That makes me feel like a scientist recording my thoughts on an experiment. And that's what life is right? One long experiment.
As cool as this assignment is Mr. Owen, I feel obligated to point out that if you are reading this right now, you are breaking the most sacred of pacts. I hope if you are reading this you are ashamed of yourself, because these thoughts are private, meant only for me. You promised you wouldn't read them and I hope you don't.
I don't actually get why you set us this assignment. Surely you know all the jocks like Tommy and Pauly are just gonna write some garbage. I know you think writing journals is a 'good way to identify the people we once were, and the people we are becoming', but loads of people aren't going to take it seriously.
So, in accordance with the last bit, you suggested we start the journal with a list of things that will never change, whoever we become, and why that is. This actually caused me a lot of thought, but here's what I came up with.
My best friends will always be Maria Deluca and Alex Whitman- I've known Maria since, well, always. I know everybody thinks we are as different as can be, but I don't know how I would survive without her. Alex, he's just, y'no, Alex. He balances us out, and all together we make up the three musketeers (my dad's nickname for us)! Alex lives next door to Maria; that's how we became friends. Sometimes I feel a little jealous, that they do loads of things without me, but I couldn't imagine my life without either of them. They are really lucky to have each other as neighbours though. Isabel Evans lives next door to me. She's ok, but she moves in different circles to me. We used to be really close when we were younger, but now we're just not.
2) I'll always be a scientist- Have you ever walked in somewhere, and known instantly that was where you were meant to be? I have. The first time I went into one of the school labs, I smelt this smell, and I knew- I was home.
3) I'll always need control- Before you get started, I am not a control freak, I just need order. It makes me feel safe, to have everything how I like it.
That's it really. Oh, except one more thing.
4) I'll always hate Max Evans
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September 23rd. Journal entry 1.
I'm Max Evans, and this isn't as bad as I thought. At the beginning it seemed like a really stupid idea, to write down our thoughts and feelings, but I'm warming to the idea. It's actually kind of cool, to write down what I'm thinking without having to censor it for other people's benefit. It's surprising how often that happens. That you can't say what you really want to because it might hurt someone, or make someone mad, or simply reveal something you're not sure you want revealed.
Question Mr Owen: Why did you call this a journal? I'm sure Liz Parker would say it's something to do with life being an experiment and we're the scientists recording it, but really, why? I know you won't answer these questions because you will never read this, but I'm still curious. Maybe I'll ask you tomorrow in class. That's another of those not saying what you think things though, because, if I asked you a question like that, everybody would know I'd actually tried on this assignment, and I'm not ready to be laughed at yet.
It's weird how being clever is considered sad, and being stupid cool. Surely it should be the other way round. I mean, it's the clever people that go far. The stupid people end up working in the cheese factory. Yet, throughout high school, those who look like they are going to go far, they're ridiculed. I think you have to find the right balance. You have to work just hard enough to get the grades you need, but not show people that you do. That's my goal anyway. There are of course people at both ends of the spectrum, for example Liz Parker will be able to be what ever she wants when high school ends, but she's not exactly the coolest of the cool. She's not a geek though. Tommy on the other hand, he'll be stuck at the cheese factory for the rest of his life, but he rules the high school.
So, a list of things that will never change whoever I become. It actually took me ages to come up with even one thing. It's odd that. I don't have any burning ambitions, or any friends that I'll stay close to forever. I mean I'm pretty popular, as far as things go. I'm invited to all the parties, hit on by all the girls, but in some ways I don't know anyone outside my family who knows the real me, not just the image I put out. And as far as girls go, there is only one who I'm interested in, and luckily for me, she thinks I'm the scum of the earth. God, my life just sounds great doesn't it, no real friends and the only girl I like hates me. Awesome.
Anyway, a list of things:
1) My family will always be important to me- So many people at school bitch about their parents and siblings endlessly, but that is one area where I definitely don't fit in. I owe my parents everything. They adopted me and Is when we were six. They accepted us even though we had 'emotional difficulties' and without the support they've shown me over the years, I don't know where I'd be. So yeah, family will always be one of my top priorities.
2) I have trust issues. It's one of the more charming things my real parents left me with after abandoning us on a road at the age of three. No matter how hard I try, I can't believe that people aren't going to just abandon me. There are only three people I know who I really trust, my mum, my dad and Is. I just can't trust anyone else. It's not in my nature.
Thinking about it, that might be the reason I don't have any real friends. Huh. Never thought of that before.
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I don't know why I hate him so much. To start with it was because he and his family moved into Maria's house. I'll admit that was a stupid reason, but he is just the most annoying person.
He is popular, but I don't hold that against him. I mean, there are other people who are popular who I really like. Kyle for instance. Max though, he seems to make it his personal mission to annoy me in every way possible. He makes obnoxious comments when he knows I'm in hearing and he's always known just what to say that will make me mad.
He is a total player as well. Every week it's another girl. Sometimes I wonder whether he does it just to annoy me. Perhaps it's his trust issues though. Maybe as soon as he comes close to really feeling anything for a girl he dumps her. I've never seen him hang out with a girl other than his sister.
I just don't get why these girls go out with him. I'll admit, he's handsome in this boyish way, with those dark bangs that fall just in front of his eyes. I know that if you look carefully at those amber eyes you'll see enough vulnerability to want to wrap him up and look after him, but honestly, don't they see him go through these girls and actually think 'hmm, that could happen to me'. I guess that's where one of his date properties come from. You see, all the girls he dates must have light hair and a very low IQ.
My polar opposites in fact.
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I might be exaggerating just a little when I say I don't have any real friends. I consider Michael a real friend. He's different from all my other friends in the fact he's not very popular. I mean, he's popular because he hangs out with me and Isabel, but left by himself he wouldn't be very popular. He's also very different from me. When I take ages deliberating everything, Michael tends to jump in without thinking. Where I do try at school (despite what a certain next-door genius might think), Michael couldn't care less. Yet still I identify with him more than anyone outside my family. I think it's because we come from such similar situations. He's adopted too see. Except he didn't get so lucky. His foster-dad was a complete jerk and he even knocked him around. Luckily my dad helped him get emancipated last year.
So yeah, Michael does know the real me. He even knows (unfortunately) about my slight crush on my next-door neighbour. Who, as aforementioned, hates my guts. She's always hated me. Before she even knew me.
I didn't always like her. Well, I always liked her, I just didn't always fancy her. When we moved in and she told me she hated me, I smiled. I liked her spunk and I knew there and then, that I'd do everything possible to annoy her in every small way. We didn't really hate each other then. Oh, I know we used to pretend we did, but it was just a strange form of friendship. I'd annoy her, she'd annoy me, and we'd sit in our tree house and trade insults for hours.
Then we grew up.
She went to spend the summer with her aunt in Florida, and when she came back she'd changed. She had a tan, and she was taller, and she had certain assets that weren't there before. There was this sense of awkwardness between us and though we still traded insults they were sort of stilted, as if we didn't know quite what to do with ourselves.
That was when my crush started.
I didn't know it was a crush to begin with. I thought it was sort of odd that I couldn't get her off my mind, and that I got a strange feeling in my stomach when she was around., but I just dismissed it. As it became more obvious though, I tried to do everything possible to get her off my mind. It was around the time people first started really dating, and I threw myself into different girls. I'd make sure they were nothing like Liz. They would all be blond for a start. I became the player of the 8th grade. It was then I made the mistake that cost us our tenuous friendship, and made our pretend hate real.
I dated Maria.
You have to understand that although I dated all these girls I still had a huge crush on Liz. As I began to date my way through the year, a odd look of contempt grew in her eyes when she looked at me. I hated that. We grew more and more distant and I wanted to do anything to bring back our sparring matches. So I did the closest thing I could to dating her. I dated her best friend.
Liz knew of course. She and Maria shared everything. She didn't seem to care and so Maria and I dated.
Maria was great. She really understood me. We went for an ice cream and we talked for hours about everything and nothing. It was the first time I'd really enjoyed dating a girl and after two weeks I invited her back for dinner. She agreed and she came back to my house. I forgot it used to be hers.
She grew very quiet as we entered the house and it was then I remembered. I apologised of course but she said it was fine. I took her up to my room and she sat on the bed and looked around. It seemed like she could see much more than me. She started to speak. I remember everything so well, it's as if it's stamped on my mind indelibly.
"This was my room. I'd sit in my bed and when they fought I'd hide under the covers so I couldn't see anything, and I'd put my hands over my ears, so all I could hear and see was darkness. When they finished, he would come and find me. He'd take the covers off and we'd lie next to each other and stare at the stars through the skylight. Every night he'd tell me to make a wish and every night I would make the same one."
"What did you wish for?"
"I wished...I wished they would look at each other and not see anyone else. I wished that there would be just one night when they didn't fight, but most of all I wished that I'd be able to lie there next to my dad and look at the stars forever."
Her voice got more and more choked as she carried on, and when she finally finished I knew she was close to tears. She turned to me and asked in the most broken voice, "Why did he leave? Why did he leave me?"
I had no idea what to say so I just put my arms round her and drew her close. I kissed her. A purely platonic kiss, to show support and love. I knew then my feelings toward Maria were not of boyfriend and girlfriend but merely those of understanding and friendship. Because I did understand her. We'd both been abandoned by people who should have loved us, and we'd both been scarred by it.
I knew she didn't want to stay so I led her to my front door. She said she wanted to be alone and I respected that so I let her walk home by herself. Unfortunately Liz saw her and saw her tears. She came up to us and hugged Maria. She looked at me harshly.
"What did you do?"
I saw Maria look at me from behind her back. She looked terrified, and I knew she didn't want Liz to know how upset she'd been. So I did the only acceptable thing in the situation. I lied.
"I just broke up with her. Sorry if your friend can't except that."
Liz looked at me with horror in her eyes and I saw something in them die. She turned to Maria and took her hand.
And from that day onwards, Liz Parker has hated me.
Max put down his pen and stared at the paper in a melancholy way. Why did she hate him so much? He sighed and looked out of the window, hoping perhaps he'd find the answer out there.
A soft smile lit his face as he saw the light in the tree house. Only two people could go in there apart from him and he knew for a fact that Isabel was in her room. Perhaps it was time for an annoy-Liz session. They always cheered him up. After all, it was technically his tree house.
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I might even have been able to get past his player stasis if not for the fact that he's so utterly heartless. Once he dumps a girl, he doesn't give a damn about their feelings. Sometimes I don't even think he knows how to love.
Who am I kidding? Does any teenage guy know how to love? It seems there is no such thing as romance anymore, except in movies. Everywhere I go I see a distinct lack of flowers and chocolates
I mean, now it's all about how far you've gone, and how far you're going to go. There are hardly any couples that even really know each other.
Liz jumped in shock and the pen fell from her hand, as a cough sounded from in front of her. Before she looked up a part of her was already resigned to the fact that there, standing at the entrance of what was technically his tree house, was the object of her ramblings. She didn't expect what came next though.
His amber eyes bored into hers as he spoke.
"You were talking out loud."
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Thanks for reading!
-Kat