Chapter 3: Troubled Memories part two

"Hey, Trinaty," Galahad interrupted, "what are you going to do after this whole affair with the Romans is over?"

"I dunno. I'll have to go and visit you all though, wont I? I'll have to make sure that Gawain here finds a wife."

"Are you offering?" Gawain asked eagerly.

Trinaty gave him a jab in the ribs, then continued, "That Bors has enough support to stay Governor. And I'll have to make sure Lancelot doesn't get in trouble with some Roman nobleman's daughter." Lancelot laughed at that.

"Are you going to get married? Have kids?" Arthur asked, smiling at her last words.

Trinaty's mood suddenly became moody. She starred silently into the struggling flames. She had had a child once, and the thought of it brought back horrible memories.

She had once lived in the very forest that they were now camped. Her mother had died giving berth to her and she had been raised by a woman named Calest, along with her son Gareth. Her father had been married to another woman when he fell in love with her mother. Trinaty had met her father a few times. He was the leader of another village, another tribe of Woads. He had been a Woad, but Trinaty's mother had been half Sarmatian, and had instructed that Trinaty learn the Sarmatian ways as well as the way of the Woad.

So Trinaty had grown up with her milk brother, learning how to fight with sword and knife and bow. She had lived happily there for thirteen years when the village was attacked by a small army of Saxons. They had slaughtered most of the villagers, but Trinaty and Gareth had been taken prisoner, along with several of the village's worriers. In the midst of the battle that had taken place Trinaty had found her milk mother as she lay dying. Celest's last words to Trinaty had been about her father and that she had a half sister that was younger than her in another village.

Trinaty had been tortured by the Saxon commander, Cyrise. He had toyed with her and abused her before he let his son, Cerdic, rape her. Then she had then been thrown in a dungeon with little light and less food, with the others from her village.

Then in a battle that drove the Saxons back from Briton, they managed to escape. But once they had gotten away from the prison Trinaty had become separated from the others. When the battle was over a man by the name of Uther Pendragon had found her. She had been week from the days spent in the dark cell and could barley move.

Feeling pity for her Uther had taken Trinaty to his wife Igraine. Igraine had nursed her back to health and invited Trinaty to stay with her and Uther. But Trinaty knew that if she stayed trouble would come looking for her and she didn't want the kind people that had cared for her suffer that trouble.

Soon after she left she discovered that she was with child. A Saxon child. Cerdic's Child. In Horror and rage she had killed the child, soon after it was born. But the thought of it still haunted her dreams.

"Trinaty are you all right." She felt a hand on her shoulder, and snapping out of her revere, she realized that it was Gawain's hand. She looked around and saw that all of the knights and Jols were starring at her with concern. Horton was snoring from under his blanket.

"I'm fine," she said. Then she realized that the knife she had been holding had slipped from her finger and sliced across the back of her left hand. She stood up and said again, "Really, I'm fine." Turning she walked over to where the knights had tied their horses to a tree.

Draco had joined them of his own accord and stood still with one leg cocked slightly forward as he dosed. Patting the horse lightly to let him know she was there, she started to rummage through her saddlebags. Her hand brushed against a small wooden flute and she pulled it out. The flute had been carved out of a dark wood and there were tiny dragons painted around the holes.

"Trinaty." The voice came from behind her. She turned around slowly and looked at the knight that had captured her heart and would hold it for as long as she lived. "Are you all right?"

"I already said I'm fine." She snapped. The she said quietly, "Just bad memories, come back to haunt me."

"We all have those."

Suddenly furry erupted in her. He didn't understand. No man could understand. And the fact that he thought he did made her furious.

Noticing this sudden mood change he said concernedly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Everything!" her voice broke and she could feel the tears coming. She turned away from him to hide her face.

He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "We all have nightmares about the past, the future, even the present." He whispered in her ear. She just shook her head, unable to speak through the hard lump in her throat. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight while she tried to compose her self.

After a while she finally said, "I am all right now." She pulled away from him and looked into hi eyes, to prove that she really was.

"All right" he muttered. Then he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Just then they heard shuffled footsteps, and turned to see Dagonet.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to interrupt I was just checking on Dagger." He gestured to his brown mare, which was looking at him with curious eyes. The dagger shaped stripe on he forehead was almost hidden by her sopping forelock.

Trinaty smiled and walked over to the big man. "It's all right Dag." She said and kissed his cheek. Then with out another word she walked back to the fire with the little flute still in her hand.

As Trinaty neared the fire she saw that Horton was still asleep and that one of his hands was protruding from under the blanket. Grinning as the malicious thought entered her head, she deliberately brought the heel of her boot down on his fingers. The rat awoke with a yelp and looked around for what had caused the stabbing pain in his fingers. When he spotted Trinaty he glared and muttered something that she didn't catch.

She smiled broadly down at the man that looked small and pathetic, cradling his hand. It always made her feel better to know that she had paid the Romans back for a bit of the pain they had caused her and her friends. And any ways she didn't like Horton.

Bors noticed the flute in Trinaty's hand and asked her to play a tune. And she did. The music seemed to wash away the shadow that had settled over her that day and when she finally did sleep it was not riddled with disturbing dreams. But was full of the horses that had once been knights and now ran free across endless green plains.