My Immortal
Notes and disclaimer.: I do now own Transformers or any of the characters thereof. Hasbro owns them. Nor do I own the song My Immortal, Evanscence owns that.
This fic is set just after episode 48 of Armada. It is from Alexis' point of view. Lyrics are in between these.
"You're all mine Unicron!" Those words had rung out into the night. .as I shook my head in disbelief. Optimus' face on the viewscreen, his optics kind. ...sympathetic. It made me want to scream, to tear my very heart out my chest with my own hands. His words echoed in my head. "Starscream is dead. He gave his life nobly in an attempt to save us all from Unicron."
I'm so tired of being here supressed by all my childish fears
Why that pendant had been so important to me I will never understand, it was only a piece of green Cybertronian stone, Yet I couldn't let him force me to leave without retrieving it.
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase.
My heart ached so badly. ..no one knew with the possible exception of Rad why I grieved as deeply and savagely as I did. I had loved him. ..loved Starscream so much, despite the fact that he was a Transformer, a Decepticon even, and I was a simple human school-girl. Age didn't change that, nor did cross-specieal barriers. Love knew no barriers, no boundaries.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.
He did indeed have "all of me." from the moment he'd looked at me with the shammy in his hands and that befuddled look on his face he had.
you used to captivate me with your resonating life.
He was so bright, so beautiful. That smile. .. .it captivated me in a way I never thought possible, When he smiled at me I felt like anything was possible, like I could soar through the clouds as he did. He lived live with a joy few ever did, despite what he'd been through.
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
I am now so hemmed in. .. grounded. ..my wings clipped at the same time as his were freed. .I wished he had taken me with him.
Your face it haunts my most pleasent dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.
The nightmares I have had since have all been him. .. his voice speaking his last words. ..his face with that expression of agony etched on it. ..IT haunted me.
These wounds won't seem to heal. this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase.
My heart will never fully heal, no matter how much time passes, I will never love again as deeply as I did him.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.
I had wanted him only to be happy. It was all I had ever wanted. .. As I curl up around myself now I wondered why I had failed so miserably. I whisper. "I couldn't even save you from yourself."
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me, I've been alone, all alone.
And it hit me then. I had always been alone. . even when I'd sat on your shoulder, that laughter in my ears I had still always been alone. There were lines you simply would not cross.
I whisper that final chorus, trying to let out the last of the pain. ...
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.
I turn over now. ..my eyes closing as I slip into sleep, clutching that silly green stone that now had a huge crack in it in my fingers.
"You're all mine Unicron!" Those words had rung out into the night. .as I shook my head in disbelief. Optimus' face on the viewscreen, his optics kind. ...sympathetic. It made me want to scream, to tear my very heart out my chest with my own hands. His words echoed in my head. "Starscream is dead. He gave his life nobly in an attempt to save us all from Unicron."
I'm so tired of being here supressed by all my childish fears
Why that pendant had been so important to me I will never understand, it was only a piece of green Cybertronian stone, Yet I couldn't let him force me to leave without retrieving it.
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase.
My heart ached so badly. ..no one knew with the possible exception of Rad why I grieved as deeply and savagely as I did. I had loved him. ..loved Starscream so much, despite the fact that he was a Transformer, a Decepticon even, and I was a simple human school-girl. Age didn't change that, nor did cross-specieal barriers. Love knew no barriers, no boundaries.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.
He did indeed have "all of me." from the moment he'd looked at me with the shammy in his hands and that befuddled look on his face he had.
you used to captivate me with your resonating life.
He was so bright, so beautiful. That smile. .. .it captivated me in a way I never thought possible, When he smiled at me I felt like anything was possible, like I could soar through the clouds as he did. He lived live with a joy few ever did, despite what he'd been through.
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
I am now so hemmed in. .. grounded. ..my wings clipped at the same time as his were freed. .I wished he had taken me with him.
Your face it haunts my most pleasent dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.
The nightmares I have had since have all been him. .. his voice speaking his last words. ..his face with that expression of agony etched on it. ..IT haunted me.
These wounds won't seem to heal. this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase.
My heart will never fully heal, no matter how much time passes, I will never love again as deeply as I did him.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.
I had wanted him only to be happy. It was all I had ever wanted. .. As I curl up around myself now I wondered why I had failed so miserably. I whisper. "I couldn't even save you from yourself."
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me, I've been alone, all alone.
And it hit me then. I had always been alone. . even when I'd sat on your shoulder, that laughter in my ears I had still always been alone. There were lines you simply would not cross.
I whisper that final chorus, trying to let out the last of the pain. ...
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.
I turn over now. ..my eyes closing as I slip into sleep, clutching that silly green stone that now had a huge crack in it in my fingers.