Tasuki was laying on a meadow, just outside Konan. The calling of the Suzaku Seshis for the ritual is drawing near, and each Seshi should have a wish when that time came. Which leads him to this place. For him, it's better to think without Nuriko bullying him around, or seeing Miaka eating mounts and mounts of food...or to put it simply, without no interruptions. It's better to gaze at the beautiful blue skies, with clouds that seems to run after each other, and to feel cool breeze blowing his face while thinking. With times like these, it feels like heaven: no buggers, no stupid remarks, and no fear...
Which also brings him to another subject: Tamahome. His closed his eyes, as if to remember exactly what happened: Tamahome came to him to ask something (while he was busy analyzing his feelings), Tamahome felt bad, he hugged him, then realize he love Tamahome, looked at Tamahome, Tamahome asked what's wrong, he kissed him, Tamahome ran, he cried. It was the stupidest (if there is a word like that) thing to do. Of course, Tamahome loves Miaka, no doubt about that. It was destiny; foretold in Ancient History; written in the Sacred Scribes; it was Fate. How stupid Tasuki is to think that Tamahome could actually love someone like him. How foolish!
And ever since that incident, Tamahome didn't really avoid him. Tamahome is the same old scumbag who insults him like no other. Tamahome still teases him, still threatens him about water and milk...but not the Tamahome who was his bestfriend, not the one who goes into your room, talks about his life and his love, and eventually finds himself on your bed, asleep. He didn't avoid Tasuki publicly, but Tasuki can feel the gap between them.
And that makes Tasuki hate himself more! He can't do anything about it; just play the game Tamahome wants to play. Cause nothing's gonna work out; the stakes been passed, you can't get them back. Tasuki can't wish to reverse the time and tell himself that he doesn't love Tamahome, or wish that he didn't kiss Tamahome (cause, let's admit it, he liked it), or wish that Miaka and Tamahome should never been destined. Cause it's never gonna happen. Eventually, he'll realize that he loves Tamahome, and that he'll do anything to have a kiss, and then fall into his knees, telling himself that it's never going to work out. Ill-fate, that what he wants to call it. He lost his family, he lost his mentor, and now, he's lost, in love.
Tragic and pathetic is his life.
And how did Tasuki arrive with a conclusion that he loves Tamahome? Simple: It grew. Like when he hated his mother; like when he was trained to be a bandit. It is when he realized that it grew on him, that those nasty remarks are not to make Tamahome angry, but to let Tamahome focus more on him. He doesn't hate Miaka, Miaka is a sweet girl (though she's got an appetite), and he somehow loves the girl. But Tamahome is just so different. He's the kind of guy who will listen to you but will crack a joke instantly. He's the type of guy who might be a "bobo", but you can trust him in everything. Tamahome is...Tamahome, and that's what keeping Tasuki attracted to the young man.
Tasuki opened his eyes and gaze again at the skies. He suddenly feels the ground is swallowing him whole, feeling that he's going underneath. What if he was underneath? Would Tama still be there? Would he help him? Would Tama say he also loves him, if ever?
"Oi, lazy-bum! Getcha ass here right now! We're gonna start the ritual already!" Nuriko exclaimed, his hair flowing with the air.
Tasuki just smiled. "Gonna come a little bit!"
He knows now his wish.