I walk out in front of everyone wearing a bulletproof vest and I have a guard shield up Umm… hi everybody… heh
Everyone that has been waiting for the story update is glaring with rifles in their hands Hey… Cocking the guns
Waving my hands in defense and sobbing for mercy Please don't shoot me.
Random reader: What's your excuse?
Me: I don't… have one. Shrugs shoulders nervously
Random reader: Kill her. Everyone aims at my head
Raise my hand child-like Can I make one up?
Random reader: No now remove your vest and the shield.
Me: But this stuff is for protection.
Random reader: Gives me the duh look That's why we want you to remove it.
Me: But I updated and I've even started working on the next chapter.
All the readers think about this and put their guns down
Random reader: Okay you can live until the chapter is over.
Me: But…
Random reader: Be grateful you get to last that long and as for the rest of you, enjoy the chapter.
Me: Yep enjoy.
Random reader: Shut up.
Me: Sorry.
Well now that we have returned to the story, back at Pegasus' castle things seem to have gotten even more out of Croquet's control. What used to be a stern, straight to business security officer had now been reduced to a drunken, (thanks to Kimo) speech slurring, (Kimo again) fun having, (do I truly have to put who is responsible people) party animal (and again the same person). A party animal that was currently planning to invade the women's side of the castle in his first official panty raid. (Yep I had to throw a little college fun in there) Earlier, while drunkenly swinging his glass in lazy circles above his head and listening to his friends reminisce on past college life, Croquet thought about how awfully boring his college experience had been and mentioned to many of his male friends that he had never actually participated in a panty raid or anything pertaining to fun while he was in college. Feeling no one should ever miss the chance to take a female's underwear and parade them around on their head, Kimo and a few of his buddies took the liberty of setting up a little fun for Croquet. This would explain why all the men were dressed in black prowler suits and sneaking through the castle at four in the morning.
"Alright we have now entered the women's domain. Everyone go to a door and stand there until I give further orders." Kimo whispered into his walkie-talkie, waving his hand to tell the men to disperse and go find a door. Croquet not really knowing what was happening stood beside Kimo, watching the men tip-toe up to doors and wait by them in SWAT mode.
"What are we doing?"
"You said that you never went on a panty raid before, so me and the guys decided that you should have your first one tonight."
"I said this when?"
"When you were about to pass out from all those vodka and orange drinks or… was it when you drank that whole bottle of Belvedere." Kimo shrugged his shoulders and looked at Croquet.
"I don't remember that."
"Yeah well I do, you passed out and your face landed right in Agent Michael's chest. Lucky you."
"Isn't she the one with...?"
"The big boobs, yeah. Like I said lucky you. She was drunk and I still couldn't get around to playing with 'em. Not even a damn touch and you just fall into 'em and she doesn't say a word." Croquet was about to say something when Kimo raised his hand, a signal for 'quiet', and whispered more instructions over the walkie-talkie. When signaled, all the men burst through the women's bedroom doors, loud shrieks following soon after. Kimo entered one of the rooms a few seconds later, followed by a nervous looking Croquet, and yelled,
"Alright everybody, let's get us some panties!" Croquet stood in the corner getting a nagging feeling that this little escapade was going to turn out quite differently than what they expected and boy was he ever right.
"Good mornin' everybody." Martha said cheerily to everyone as she ladled a semi runny mass of caramel colored stuff into the group's bowls. The stuff looked liked grits, but obviously Martha's food couldn't be taken at face value or even recognized for that matter, so it was up to our food sleuths to figure out what it was.
"Yeah mornin', umm... what have you exactly blessed us with this morning?" Yugi asked while pulling his spoon through the stuff noticing small objects that looked like raisins and banana slices resting at the bottom of his bowl.
"It's Cream of Wheat darlin'. Now ya'll boys go ahead and eat up, this here stuff makes you strong, if you can eat this you can eat anything." Martha said and turned back toward the kitchen. (Hey readers it is a brand of food our temporary farmers have heard of, score for Martha.)
"Yeah, because this is anything." Ryou muttered softly as he lifted his spoon and watched the food dribble back into his bowl.
So uh… what's in it Martha?" Malik questioned curiously, noticing that Yugi had raisins, or at least what he thought were raisins, and he didn't.
"Well as you can see I added a little brown sugar, some bananas, and some secret spices. The spices are a secret, so I can't tell you much about that, but it's good for ya." (Score number two for Martha, she said ingredients that exist and that you can actually put in Cream of Wheat.) Yugi, along with everyone else, played in his food while Martha went back to the kitchen to make her husband a bowl. He was quite curious as to why she didn't mention nuts or raisins or something.
"Martha?"
"Yes Yugi."
"What about the raisins or whatever this is in here. You didn't say what they were." Yugi said picking up the little brown things with his spoon. (Minus one point, we have doubt in the group and she was starting off so well too. Damn.)
"Sweetie I don't have any raisins and my husband is allergic to nuts."
"So what are these brown things then?" By now everyone had taken the option of eating Martha's food and thrown it out the window. Every person at the table, including Jed, pushed their bowls away.
"I don't know. Taste them and see." (Aww hell naw, for even suggesting that they eat them she gets a damn negative number. Negative thirty, bad Martha.) With that said everyone left the table feeling that being hungry for the morning was better than being poisoned and went to start the day's chores.
"Alright boys today we have a special project, so we need to go ahead and feed the animals so we can get started. I switched ya'll up a bit so everybody can at least have a chance with all the animals. Now Yugi and Ryou you got the hogs today, Malik and Mokuba have the horses, and Seto and Pegasus you have Martin and the goats. As you saw earlier my head sow has had some piglets, Ryou and Yugi you both need to check up on them and make sure they doin' alright. If you see something wrong come and tell me." Ryou and Yugi nodded as Jed's attention went to Mokuba and Malik. "I need for you two boys to feed and brush the horses and make sure they doin' alright too. We got a new two-week-old foal out there and I want to keep an eye on him, other than that there's nothin' else to know. Whatever is left I'll handle and when everybody 's done come and meet me beside the barn." Jed left the crew to do the feeding, and Seto moved quickly toward the goats, wanting to get finished with the feeding as soon as possible. Heading out to the pen, he was stopped by Yugi and Ryou, or at least two people who looked like Yugi and Ryou. Seto saw clearly that Bakura and Yami had taken over, but Pegasus seemed oblivious to the fact.
"Beware." Bakura whispered while looking around the farm. "It's crazy."
"What? What's crazy?" Seto asked getting irritated with the two for holding him up.
"Martin."
"Who's Martin?" Pegasus asked finally deciding to make his presence known. Both yamis became quiet and pointed to the large bull in the pen.
"Stop being so over dramatic you two, it's not that important. It's just some stupid bull that's foaming at the... uhhh that looks so disgusting."
"He's having a bad day." Yami threw in.
"You two are idiots."
"Fine, but don't say we didn't warn you. Jed skips the warning for Martin like he thinks nothing is wrong with the fucker. The damn thing is a killing machine." Bakura said and began walking away, followed by Yami.
"Martin can't be that b..." Pegasus said trying to convince the other two, but was interrupted.
"Yeah?" Yami growled. "Well look at this." Yami lifted his pant leg so the other two men could see the large purple bruise on his leg, and then pulled off his shirt to show a large bruise there. "There's one on my ass too... but I won't show you that one. Oo Anyway, still think he's not that bad." Pegasus' eyes sank and he chewed on his bottom lip.
"Heh… never mind. I guess Seto will be feeding him." Pegasus said and walked toward the goats. Seto glared and yanked the older man to a stop by grabbing a handful of his silver tresses and twisting.
"Like hell I will."
"Let go, I was only joking." Pegasus yelled while swatting at Seto's hand and trying to loosen the grip Seto had on his hair.
"Whatever." Seto replied dryly. "And you two are ridiculous!" The blue-eyed CEO yelled at the retreating forms of the yamis, turning quickly to glare at the Industrial Illusions owner. "Are you going to stand there all day Pegasus, pick up your damn feet and move." Pegasus sighed and followed behind Seto, eager to be rid of him for the day. Out in his pen, Martin looked at his new vic... ahem I mean feeders with a small smile, or as much smiling as a bull could do, the smile saying one thing: Fresh meat.
Crack! Crack!
"Ow ow that's my ass cheek!"
"I guess you'll think about the consequences next time won't you?"
"How were we supposed to know you guys knew what we were planning?"
"Do I look like a guy to you Kimo?" Crack!
"Ow broad, what the hell…"
"Did you just call me a 'broad'?"
"Uhh… no, I meant…"
"Liar." Crack!
"Owww… stupid bit…"
"What were you about to say?"
"Nothing."
"Good boy." Agent Santana lifted her stiletto-clad foot off of Kimo's neck and grinned down at him, holding the whip in between her teeth. "All the others have been so obedient with their female masters, but things seem to come to you very slowly Kimo. It doesn't matter though I enjoy breaking men's wills. It's funny to see them cry."
"I'm not gonna cry!" Kimo yelled bravely. Crack! "Owww… gosh why do you have to keep hitting the same spot Giselle?" Kimo sobbed as he crumbled to the floor.
Mokuba waved a fly away as he dumped the last of the oats into the horse feeding trough, while Malik filled a large tub with fresh water. Turning the water off and throwing away the feedbag, Malik and Mokuba looked around at their work.
"That wasn't hard at all. We didn't have one problem."
"You must have heard about the bull thing from Bakura and Yami."
"Yeah, they were not happy at all. I felt sorry for them, but Seto laughed and called them 'fucking deserving bastards' or something like that." When Mokuba finished speaking, his cell phone rang and his brother's number was displayed on the screen. "What could he possibly want? Seto's right across the way, he could have walked over here." Mokuba answered the phone to his brother's yelling.
"What the fuck did I say about that damn cursing Mokuba?"
"Huh. B-but how...?"
"Don't you worry about that, I have my ways dammit." In the background Mokuba could hear Pegasus reprimand Seto about his language and then hear Pegasus huff and yell back as Seto gave him a few choice words of his own. "Now back to you, you utter one more damn curse word and... hey give me my fucking phone." Mokuba suddenly heard his brother and Pegasus in the background again and then a dial tone. Mokuba closed the phone, only to hear the muffled yelling of the two he had just hung up on, and put it into his pocket.
"Got out of that argument. So are you ready to go?"
"Sure, let me..." You're probably wondering what caused the abrupt pause. Well it happened to be caused by our most recent addition to the farm, the two week old foal that seemed to be one rock short of a pile and a small ass pile at that, but that wasn't completely what made Malik stop mid sentence and stare. For all Malik knew, it was normal for a two-week-old foal to stumble and run into things, hell it was actually expected, what caught his gaze came seconds later. The foal stood up from his accident of hitting the water tub, (Malik's brain: that's normal.) wobbled over to the wooden fence separating the horses and cows (Malik's brain: that's normal too.) and started to nurse from one of the cows. (Malik's brain: one of these things is not like the others, one of these things is just not the same…) When Mokuba noticed that Malik didn't blink, he followed the Egyptian's gaze to the weird little display. After a few minutes of absorbing the scene, Mokuba asked, shifting his weight to one leg.
"That not supposed to be like that is it?"
"I don't think so." Scratching his head, Malik continued to stare alongside Mokuba. Well, while our two farmers were staring in wonder or in plain disbelief of the situation, they failed to notice the evil death glare the foal was getting from the cow's calf. The foal suckled the utter hungrily, totally ignoring the calf and the spectators.
"Do you think we should leave him like that?"
"I guess so. It doesn't seem to be bothering anyone." (We know better.) Mokuba humped his shoulders and turned to leave, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. "But one more thing before we leave, why is that calf twitching like that?"
"Ryou aren't they cute?"
"Yeah, they would be even cuter if I didn't have to smell them."
"Ignore the smell for a minute, then look at them."
"Ignore the smell? How the fuck do you do that Yugi? My nose just doesn't shut off." Ryou replied sarcastically and looked into the small pen holding the sow and her piglets. The piglets were all nestled together feeding from their mother as if she would disappear and they would never eat again. While looking over the fence Ryou saw the runt of the group being constantly pushed away by the others and not getting anything to eat.
"Move your greedy asses so he can get some milk." But the piglets ignored him and continued to feed.
"Ryou they can't understand you. You're just wasting your breath."
"Fine I'll just go in there and move the gluttonous bastards myself." Ryou jumped the small fence and pulled his sneakers through the mud over to Petunia and her piglets. Surprisingly she didn't do anything and lay back down with a loud grunt and a swat of her tail. Ryou moved some of the piglets that had been suckling the longest and put the runt next to a teat and watched it suckle. The piglet ate quietly for a few seconds before the previous piglets came back up and started to push the runt out of the way. "Hey hey, he's trying to eat!" Ryou yelled and yanked the piglets away again and placed the runt back where it was before it was knocked out of the way.
"Way to go Ryou he's eating. Aww he's so cute and little. I hope he survives."
"He should if we make sure he eats everyday."
"Yeah, but what about when we leave? We can't keep an eye on him all the time. They will do the same thing when we aren't out here."
"Oh really, I think that I can solve that problem right now." Yugi looked at Ryou questioningly, wondering what hair brained idea he had come up with.
"Seto…?"
"Pegasus, why are you just standing there? Try to catch the goats before… umph. Damn it to hell!" Seto fell to the ground frustrated, the front of his shirt and pants covered in dirt, watching as the small goat evaded his grasp once again. Seto had been trying to catch the goats for close to fifteen minutes. Why are they out you ask, well blame that on Seto for forcefully kicking the pen door open and scaring the goats and Pegasus for not paying attention while scolding Seto. During the scolding, funded by Pegasus, and return yelling, paid for by Seto's throat, the goats walked jollily by and out to the pasture. When the two had finally stopped supporting violence and abuse, they looked around the pen to see… not a damn thing.
"You let them get past you."
"Well you scared them."
"Shut up and just stay here while I get them."
"Do you want me to help?"
"Help do what? Get on my nerves."
"Ha ha very funny."
"Yeah I know, now stay here and if they come in try to keep them here." And that, readers, is how the whole situation started and below is how it continues.
"You know you could…"
"Shut up, you're not being of any help."
"But you told me…"
"Shut up."
"Fine then, do it your way!" Pegasus retorted and folded his arms to watch the brunet make a fool of himself. Seto, seeing Pegasus fold his arms and learn against the barn, became even angrier and pulled himself up from the ground.
"You are fucking useless." Seto mumbled under his breath and kicked the side of the barn, inches away from Pegasus' leg
"I tried to tell you to…"
"Fine Mr. Great One, why don't you go catch them. As a matter of fact, just try to catch one so I can laugh in your face when you can't do it." Seto yelled angrily and leaned on the barn to catch his breath. Pegasus ignored him and walked into the barn, picking up a bag of feed and tossing it over his shoulder. Seto, taking a look at the silver-haired CEO, rolled his eyes and grumbled. "I said to catch the goats so we can put them in the pen, not feed them. I can feed them."
"Can you be quiet or as you put it shut up and let me do this my way." Pegasus said with an edge in his voice, the lower tone telling Seto that he had really crossed the line somewhere. Seto looked down at the ground and waited for Pegasus to continue. "Thank you." Pegasus pulled the bag out to the middle of the pen and sliced the corner of the bag open, only allowing a small amount of feed to leak through. Pegasus picked up the bag again and went out into the field pouring some of the feed on the ground and waited for the goats to come to it. As they did, Pegasus walked away with the bag, leaving a small trail of feed and gaining a moving line of goats. When Pegasus reached the inside of the pen he dumped the remainder of the feed onto the ground and ran around to shut the gate as the last goat hurried in. Pegasus smiled and folded the bag before handing it to Seto. "Just because you are considered a genius, it does not mean that you know everything. Sometimes geniuses let the simple answers slip through and focus one the harder, more complicated ones to impress someone. I for one don't really care as long as it gets the job done. Which is what I have done and you have not. You seem to assume a lot about me, but I was always told to never assume because, well you know the rest of the saying." Pegasus stated firmly before he walked away, leaving the shown up CEO to glare at the back of his head.
"Break it up! Break it up!" Malik and Mokuba raced to the fence, pulling the two small animals apart.
"What's the matter with you two huh?" The animals ignored Mokuba's words and pulled themselves from Malik and Mokuba's grasp. That had been the third time it had happened and Malik was starting to get fed up with the two.
"Let them go at it. The one that gets beat up or dies, which ever comes first, loses."
"We can't do that, they may kill each other."
"If the cow dies I get a burger tonight and if the foal dies then… well he'll just die, I don't eat horse. Twenty bucks on the foal because I want a damn burger tonight."
"You're so mean." Malik shrugged his shoulders and looked at the two as they fought. Suddenly feeling very light headed Malik could feel his other half separate from him and he take his others place in his soulroom.
"Marik?"
"Yeah."
"Look at them, make them stop." Marik walked over to the fence and wrenched the two fighting animals apart. "Break this shit up!" Marik picked up the foal and tossed him toward his mother and did the same to the calf. When they landed, the animals lay there, frightened of the yami. Marik pulled the two together and they lay there staring at Marik. "What the hell are you two fighting for?" The calf and foal remained motionless and silent. "Answer me dammit." The foal and calf flinched in fear and began mooing and whinnying. "Oh… uh huh… yeah… okay… really… hey you stop interrupting… apology accepted… okay." Mokuba stood on the sidelines of the conversation looking blank as hell, wondering if Marik actually understood them of if he was having one of his moments again. Tugging on Marik's T-shirt, he asked,
"What were they saying?"
"Well the cow said that he gets tired of the foal drinking his milk and the foal says that he has a lot to spare and the cow says that he should drink from his own mother and the foal says that he does, but he like to try new things…"
"Okay so what do we do?"
"Let me handle this, look you two you have no reason to be fighting. I mean look little cow your mom has six tits, six of them, count them if you don't believe me. Why can't you share with the foal? C'mon what are you going to do with six nipples other than drown from the extra milk if they decide to start flowing by themselves one day? If he drinks your mom's milk, drink his mom's. Have you tried horse milk?" The calf shook his head and Marik smiled. "Well here's your day to try something new." The calf walked up to the horse and sampled some of the milk. The foal's mother gave Marik a look that said 'what the hell kind of advice was that' and she bent down to continue eating the oats she had been given earlier, giving up on any hope of a normal life. It started out as one fucked up child, but now with some idiot that thought he was a psychiatrist her life would remain abnormal until the two small animals grew up. If you are worried about the cow, well she stopped paying attention a loooooong time ago. Her life has been so messed up, that she blocked everything out except for the necessary needs for survival and a few other needs like running away from her calf when he wants to feed (he has started biting) and leaving the wet, yellow hay alone. (the cat told him it was his litter box) Other than that she is A OK. The calf returned and Marik, then turned to the foal, "And as for you no drinking without the little guy's permission. Got it?" The horse whinnied and ran around the pen. Mokuba stood by being happy that the two animals were finally getting along, when Marik walked up and stood beside him.
"That was great. They stopped fighting."
"See I told you animals talk."
"I guess they do." Mokuba agreed.
"Hey you little ravenous bastards." Ryou said in a sweet voice, a voice so sweet that you could get cavities from listening to it. "Have you ever heard of 'bacon'?" Oddly enough the sow raised her head and all the piglets stopped suckling. "I knew you could understand me." Ryou turned around and gave Yugi the thumbs up sign, making Yugi feel somewhat amazed that he had actually gotten their attention. "Since you have stopped eating I assume that you have. Well I just wanted you to know that people make bacon and ham out of the fattest and greediest pigs, which means all of you are going to die… except for the little piggy all you greedy bitches prevent from eating. See he'll live because he won't be as big as you others. He won't have the succulent and flavorful meat that all of you will have when you get big and fat." Ryou emphasized this point with a wide grin and a lick of his lips. "And people don't like pigs that are small and scrawny. Small pigs don't make the best pork chops, ham steaks, or baby back ribs, but nice plump pigs do. He'll just be a runt and nobody wants the runt. But that's okay because one day Jed and Martha are going load you up into some large truck and then…" Ryou stopped letting the suspense linger. "They'll send you off to the slaughter house to be… killed!" All the small piglets swallowed then squealed for their very lives, all of them huddling together, trying to find protection within each other. "But there is a way to get out of it." All the piglets instantly turned to face Ryou, their eyes pleading to know how their little backsides could be saved. "Do you want to know how?" All the little pigs squealed loudly and Ryou waved his hand to quiet them. "Alright I'll tell you. All you have to do is let that little guy eat and then Jed won't take any of you to the slaughterhouse. See, simple." When Ryou finished his tale, Yugi saw the small piglets practically drag the runt up to their mother and help it to eat. "And when you forget, which I doubt that you will, (Yeah I doubt it too. I think this tale is permanently burned and scorched into their young brains) just remember this: Sizzle sizzle sizzle. Weirded out that the piglets actually understood Ryou, Yugi gave a nervous smile and inched away slowly from the group of pigs and his deranged friend. "See I told you it would work Yugi. Yugi?"
"Wow what a scary bull, oh my it's eating on grass and shitting everywhere. Isn't that what bulls do." Seto mocked as he remembered the warning that Yami and Bakura had given he and Pegasus earlier.
"You always have something sarcastic to say. You never have anything positive or helpful to say to someone else. Maybe…" Pegasus muttered nonchalantly as he leaned over the fence to stare at Martin in the pen. Pegasus and Seto had been watching Martin for close to ten minutes to make sure that the bull had no ulterior motives, such as trying to maul, trample or kill them, but the way the two had been bickering back and forth, Martin would not need to waste the energy because the two would kill each other off.
"Maybe you should stop with the lecturing."
"Maybe I would if you…""Shut up."
"You know, I am getting really tired of you saying that to me. Can you at least be courteous and say 'be quiet' or 'hush'."
"Uh… yeah I can…"
"Well I would prefer if you said that to me rather than…"
"Shut up. I only say the nice stuff to my friends and you are not a friend. But maybe if you actually did shut up, I wouldn't have to say it anymore."
"Fine, whatever." Pegasus bent over and picked up a stone, tossing it in the air to pass time until he and Seto were sure that it was safe to enter the pen with Martin. Constant bickering was not something big on his list, but Pegasus knew that Seto lived for it, anything to get a reaction, even if it meant stooping to the lowest level and harassing your enemies until they cracked. Pegasus for one was not going to give him the opportunity of knowing that he was annoying him or the pleasure in knowing that he was slowly cracking through Pegasus' gentlemanly side. After a few minutes of staring at the bull, or in Seto's case trying to intimidate the bull in a glaring contest, Pegasus asked,
"Are you ready to go in?" Seto pulled his gaze away from the bull and nodded his head slowly.
"He doesn't look like much. All we have to do is go in there, give him some food, and refill his water container. Nothing to it."
"I agree."
"That's right you should, now come on." Pegasus glowered, but followed behind Seto. When the two were in the pen, Seto went to pour the feed in the trough and Pegasus refilled the small basin with water. When they had finished Pegasus looked around.
"That was too easy."
"Ryou and Yugi over exaggerate. Come on."
"That was way to easy."
"Would you stop obsessing over it and come on."
"Maybe I'm thinking too much into it, but something doesn't feel right." Seto wasn't paying attention, so the last thing Pegasus said had completely slipped his mind, but he did start to verbalize his dissatisfaction when he spotted the empty water basin that Pegasus supposedly had filled.
"I thought I told you to fill up the water basin Pegasus."
"But I did, see it's emp…ty."
"That's right it's empty."
"But… well you said you were going to feed him."
"I did you idiot, see… look."
"There is nothing there. So you didn't do what you were supposed to do."
"There was food in there. I know because I put it there."
"Yeah well I know that I put water in that basin too, so…" Both Pegasus and Seto turned to look at the bull before Seto yelled,
"Make a run for it!"
Me: I hope you all enjoyed the chappie.
Random reader: Okay we can kill her now
Me: No wait, what about the other chapters
Random reader: Damn I forgot. Alright we keep her alive until she finishes the story then we kill her
Me: How about this, let's just take the kill part out
Random reader: Nope you shall still die
Me: Meanies and the rest of Tuesday will be in the next chappie
Random reader: What?
Me: Nothing pouting now smiling brightly Review please.