A/N: Here you go – last chapter. I really hope you've all enjoyed reading this fic as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I wanted to have a sequel for this, because I don't want Remus and Emily to be 'parted forever', but I really haven't planned anything yet. Tell me what you think, when and if you review. Thank you to all my reviewers. huggles :):)

BTW, both my other fics are supposed to be one-shot. I'm just telling you coz people keep telling me to update!

Disclaimer: Do I really have to do this? You're all so cruel! oo-goes down on knees-oo OK, OK, none of this belongs to me. Satisfied? oo-bursts into loud sobs-oo

PARTING

Phil came home with me during the summer holidays. It was more terrible then, for every time we opened the Daily prophet, there would be some terrible news about more deaths - Muggle killings, deaths of our own fellow-students or their families. Nearly half of Hogwarts' population wept because of personal tragedy, and all of Hogwarts wept for others and for us. Not one soul was there that was light-hearted and truly happy, unless you count the Slytherins. Even the broad smiles that appeared on many faces had pain hidden beneath the curve.

We grew up a lot in those four or five months. Our dreams took on more realistic shapes, and became more intense and strong. We had touched the core of our own sorrows, and fought them, and been winners. But not completely. You can't win when you're fighting a sorrow that threatens to swallow you up, a loss that can't be replaced. Our resolutions strengthened somehow, in view of all those tragedies and horrors. We wanted to go back to Hogwarts, and we wanted to go out into the world and fight. We weren't girls and boys now, we were men and women in our ability to endure loss, in our resilience to sorrow, in our strength to stand up to what was right and true, as opposed to what wasn't. And yet we were children in our implicit faith in the power of good against evil, in the victory of the Good against Voldemort. We should have known better.

In our Seventh year a lot happened. We were given special training in duelling, curses and counter-curses, hexes, jinxes. And Lily finally said yes to a date with James! Partly because he was pestering her non-stop, and partly because we were pestering her. And she didn't not enjoy it either. She came back with a hidden little smile on her face, which told us she was quite fond of visiting Hogsmeade with James Potter, even though it wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend.

Lily and James were Head Girl and Head Boy respectively, of Hogwarts. Lily took her duties very seriously. James however, slacked enough for both her and him together. He ignored his duties and the rules blatantly, and seemed to focus more of his energy on the duel classes. Lily, being who she is, managed to shine in both well.

Life was particularly hard for me then. Many boys had perhaps decided that I was good-looking enough, and had asked me out. But they were all of them people who I wished to retain as friends, so I turned all of them down. The one person who I wished would ask me never did. If I had been sure of his love for me, I would have told him that his being a werewolf did nothing to change or lessen my love for him. But I wasn't, and still am not, sure. Sometimes, I used to think that maybe he did think of me a bit more than James or Sirius or Peter did, but if he did, he never was open enough, and maybe I was merely imagining things. Or maybe just hoping against hope. Remus would never fall in love with someone like me, Emily Morgan, who never talked or laughed enough to please anyone and who was, plainly, a bookworm. He would go for some strong, independent girl who knew her mind well and could support his decisions well too. I'm just...not good enough. If I'd told Phil or Lily any of this, they'd have called me a dunderhead, and told me not to be stupid. They always maintained that Remus noticed me more than I gave credit for. But somehow, I think they were all wrong.

Remus hardly ever talked to me during those last few months at school. Maybe I was imagining it, but his eyes flickered towards me more often with something unreadable in his eyes. Perhaps I was looking for too many signs of his love for me. But I still cherished what seemed to me to be an impossible hope; that before school ended, Remus would tell me he loved me. He never did. We parted with nothing save vows of true friendship, faith and loyalty, and of courage in the face of despair.

I love him and I couldn't even tell him that. I wonder why the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor of all places; I should've been in Hufflepuff or something. I'm afraid. That's all there is to it. I'm scared he won't love me and then I'll lose even this little bit of friendship I have. Because Remus is now so intrinsically a part of my life that to let him go would mean so much pain. I can't live without his presence, however passive; I won't be able to live knowing that Remus detests me and thinks me a creep for my loving him. So I'll keep my love a secret and not let him know. But there were times when I was terribly afraid that he knew. But he never let on.

The most memorable days were the ones after the Christmas holidays. We all stayed at Hogwarts that year. What I mean to say is, all seventh-years stayed over at Hogwarts that year. We organized seventh-year parties, snowball fights, chess clubs, Gobstone clubs, Quidditch matches, and finally study groups. I can gladly say that we all did well for our N.E.W.Ts. But we didn't study all the time. We didn't party either. We spent hours sitting silently down by the tree near the Lake, enjoying the silence that is always comfortable when you're with friends, and savouring every last moment of our life at Hogwarts. It seemed impossible to believe that we would be leaving Hogwarts in a month.

In the end, we all pleaded with Professor Dumbledore and all the other teachers about setting up a Graduation Party exclusively for the seventh years. We were allowed to, and so, Lily went with James, Phil with Sirius, Peter with a Hufflepuff, and left with no choice, Remus went with me. I say 'no choice,' but I don't really mean it. Any girl would've said yes to going with him, but I guess he didn't want to lest they find out about his being a werewolf. So he just went with me, knowing that I knew about his condition. He danced three dances with me; I don't really know why. All the while when we were dancing, he held me close, like he was afraid of losing his grip and finding that I was there no longer. I've never felt as happy as I felt then; I could've stayed like that all night. But he let me go after the third dance and suggested that we walk through the grounds to the Lake. He didn't let go of my hands though. I hardly dared believe what I was experiencing. I remember thinking, "Would Remus hold me so close if he didn't love me? Maybe I do stand a chance after all..." Gullible me! He let my hand go soon enough and as I watched him stare moodily at the Lake, I thought I could feel some kind of fierce sorrow inside him, eating him inside out. But I didn't know what it was, and I couldn't help him.

I never told Remus I love him. I never got the chance to. May be I never used any of the chances I got. The only time I ever got close to telling Remus was during our Graduation Party. He and I were walking out in the grounds alone, because Lily and Phil were walking with their significant 'others'. I nearly said it, and then I thought, "What if he doesn't love me? I would be ruining the friendship and the affection I've got now." And I said nothing. Now I think, "What if I'd told him? Would he have told me what I wanted to hear, longed to hear?" I still don't know.

That's what hurts most - not knowing what would've happened. If I were sure, I would try to stop worrying. But I don't know...

Six years have passed since we left school. Lily and James are married and expecting their first child, living through a phase of doubt and fear; Phil and Sirius are engaged; Peter has left for some place. I've not seen much of Remus in these six years - only at parties and meetings of the Order. We've barely spoken. But I know I can never forget my love for a man who is more than what he seems...

---El Fin---

A big huggles and thank you to all my exceptionally kind reviewers:

Silencili – I really hope you enjoyed this fic. Thanks a whole bunch for your review.

Jessie Flower – Thanks for being too kind. ï